-
I feel like I've been waiting here forever when I finally see her enter through the back door. Its to the point where I'm so antsy I don't even care how desperate it looks for me to be approaching her the second she walks in. Tiny's like a big ass shadow, right behind me and I almost want to tell him to back off, but I don't. He's worried I'm just gonna take off again and I guess I really don't blame him. Plus, its way easier to get myself through this crowd of people with him next to me. Unfortunately for her, Cosette doesn't have the same luck with the crowd and I'm able to catch her just before she's about to climb the stairs to her little corner.
I quickly grab her arm, and I definitely just scared her half to death. "Hey."
"Hi," she looks me over before her eyes fall on my hand where I've got her forearm in a death grip. "I've stopped moving. You can let go now."
I apologize but don't let go and pull her away from the stairs without asking. "Come hang out with me, I promise I'm more fun than them."
Her eyes follow my line of vision to those people that are supposed to be waiting for her up in that booth. They look like a bunch of assholes to me. She contemplates my offer for a second, staring off. No one even looks up and she seems a little sad when she nods in agreement. "Okay."
We make it to the table I've had set aside all night and I try not to ask her where the fuck she's been. Its really none of my business, and its not like she said she would meet me here but I guess I'm just curious. I wonder what she does, what shes like when shes not here. I look at her closely and I wonder what she looks like without all that makeup on and shit. Its not that shes got an obscene amount of it on her face, but I've always preferred when women are more natural looking. Cosette is delicate, even her name, like I could break her or something.
She scoots over towards me and taps my arm like she doesn't already have my full attention. "Justin, who's that?"
She's motioning towards Tiny who seems to wanna ask me the same question about her. "Thats my bodyguard Tiny," I tell her, and wave him over.
"Tiny, this is Cosette Marciano."
He nods and extends his hand, which she takes with a smile. "Nice to meet you, I'm Cosette."
She's very polite, it almost surprises me and I know my mother would like this girl. Once Tiny's convinced she's not some groupie I've picked up he excuses himself to go hang in the background. He knows me too damn well.
I look over at Cosette and she's smiling. It just barely hits her eyes. "Is his name really Tiny?"
"Nah, it's Mike," I laugh, she does too and pretty soon we're both hunched over and I'm not exactly sure why. It wasn't that funny. When we both calm down a little one of the waitresses stops by to ask us if we need anything. Cosette politely declines while I order myself another Jack and Coke.
The waitress- Leslie, her name tag says, pauses and smiles at Cosette. "Oh and happy birthday, Miss Marciano."
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
I can't take my eyes off of you...
* * *
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I know she was just trying to be nice but fuck! Why did she have to say that?
"It's your birthday?" He's so pretty its annoying. His face is a little red from all the alcohol he's had and that doesn't even bother me 'cause his eyes are so blue.
"Yeah," I nod, not wanting him to think it's like a big fucking deal or anything. My family, and my friends, all of whom have ignored me today have proven that its not a big deal at all. God, please don't ask me how old I am.
"Let me guess," he says, making a show of being in thought for about three seconds. "You're twenty-three."
"Um, nope." Shit. And here I am hoping that somehow he knows I'm just eighteen and he just doesn't care. Oh my God, please don't make me lie to him.
"Am I close?" He's got this mischievous grin like he's enjoying this game. God doesn't like me today so I'll stop asking him for favors. I can't tell him the truth, even though I know I should.
Here goes nothing. "Very close, I'm twenty-two."
It was almost too easy. That actually sounded believable and he bought it because he's calling the waitress back to get me a drink. I can tell he's sort of excited, I don't know why really, but I don't want to tell him I hate alcohol and never touch the stuff. I highly doubt he'd be offering if he didn't think I was at least 21, and it'd be way too difficult to explain how much I detest drinking and everything that goes along with it. I can't believe I'm actually going to have to drink that shit. Alcohol ruins lives and I've always promised myself I'd never indulge in it. He wouldn't understand that, though.
Even though Leslie the waitress and secret revealer gives me a strange look when she takes my order for a Cosmo (Sasha gets those a lot and they seem okay) she knows better than to argue with the owner's daughter. When Justin throws his arm around my shoulder I almost feel like this whole thing might be worth it. He wouldn't be doing that if he knew I was seven years younger than him. I don't want him to think I'm just a kid.
"I can't believe its your birthday and you didn't say anything," he whispers against my ear and he seems a little drunk.
I cringe. If only he knew.
The worst part about all of this is that I've known Justin three days and I like him. He's a cool guy. It does help that he's very nice to look at, but I know he would never want me so that not even an option. We could have been friends though, he seems like he would be a really great friend to have.
It's just too bad that I've only known him three days and have already ruined any chance of us being friends.
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off of you...
* * *
I've had way more to drink tonight that I had originally planned and I don't like it because I know she's more than sober. She's barely taken two sips of that fruity drink she got and I'm finding it hard to keep my eyes all the way open and focused in the general direction of her face. Her legs look soft and she has this freckle right above her knee and it's distracting me from our conversation. I don't know how the hell I got myself so fucked up, it just happened, I swear.
I just wanted her to have a good time and have fun, I don't think she has a lot of that. She doesn't seem too amused at my sloppiness though, so I order myself a cappuccino that I hope will help somewhat and I'm gonna try to be normal. I promise.
"So tell me about you." That didn't really make a whole lot of sense but its been on my mind since I met her, it only seemed natural to ask. Maybe I would have known not to do that if I had been sober but what can you do?
Cosette eyes me wearily before taking another tiny sip from her drink. "Um, what do you want to know?"
She grimaces a little when she swallows. "Is there something wrong with your drink? We can get you a new one--"
"Oh no," she interrupts me, taking a bigger gulp of the pinkish fluid. "This is fine."
I'm gonna ignore the odd look she had on her face when she said that. Or maybe not. "You make a lot of faces, you know."
And there she goes, another face. "What are you talking about?"
"See, you did it again," I laugh, "Another one I haven't seen before."
Shes just looking at me. I lean in and before I can kiss her she turns her head so I end up kissing the place where her jaw meets her neck instead. She frowns and slides the last of my Jack Daniels away from me. "I think thats enough for you."
I couldn't tell you the last time I got turned down but it fucking sucks. I really thought for a second there she would let me kiss her, but obviously I misread that whole situation. To be honest, its not very often that I have to actually figure out if a girl wants me to kiss her, its just kind of obvious. Maybe I suck at that, reading signals or whatever, but I'm pretty sure she wanted me to kiss her.
Her eyes are locked on mine, and now she looks like she's expecting some kind of apology but she's definitely not going to get one. I'm a gentlemen but I don't apologize when I'm not sorry. "Can I have your number?"
"No," she snaps, "You have a girlfriend."
Then it makes sense. She did want me to kiss her, but she remembered the whole girlfriend thing. That's admirable, I guess. "We'll just be friends, then, I mean."
I hope she buys that. I do notice the way she seems to smile a little when I tell her we'll be friends. This girl is fucking confusing, but I like it. With some women, everything is so cut and dry, and they're boring. Cameron is boring. In the back of my mind, I know I'm getting into something that may be a lot more complicated that what I can deal with but right now I don't give a fuck. I want her.
Funny thing though, in the back of my head, I know she's not really that interested in me and I don't know why.
"Are you gay?" I didn't think those moments in movies existed where you're like, 'oh shit, did I just say that out loud?' But I'm pretty sure that just happened so I guess thats real.
"What?" The look on her face is priceless, and if I had a camera I would take a picture of it. She's adorable.
"Uh, what I meant was, you don't really seem to be too interested in guys."
I think she's about to laugh at me. "You're right. I'm not."
I can't take my eyes off her.
"I'm not a lesbian," she tells me firmly.
I nod. "I know that."
We sit in silence after that awkwardness until she grabs my phone which I've been playing with under the table. She shocks the hell out of me when she enters her number in my address book and not because my phone is complicated. I didn't expect something like that from her.
"There, you have my number," she says as quietly as the loud music will allow.
"You want mine?"
She shakes her head. "No. I gotta go home now."
Her lips brush my cheek and she's halfway across the room before I even notice she's no longer beside me.
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off of you...
-
The Strange by sofia
Chapter End Notes:
I'm so happy & flattered that you all are enjoying this!
song credit, The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
song credit, The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
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