The sight of boxes all over the apartment couldn’t be a good sign.  Justin stepped over a half-full box and made his way toward Rylee’s bedroom.  He’d been trying to call her all day but she wasn’t answering her phone, so he decided to just head over.

She was sitting in the middle of her room, most of the things were taken off of the walls and the top of her dresser was bare.  There were a couple of suitcases next to her and she was folding clothing from her open bureau drawers.

“Your front door unlocked.”  She jumped slightly at the sounds of his voice but didn’t turn to look at him.  Her voice was laced with tears when she answered.

“I know. I had to turn in my key so I need to leave the door unlocked.”  Justin sat down on the bed behind Rylee and reached out to touch her shoulders.  She moved out of his reach and his face fell.

“Ry…”  He slipped off the bed and kneeled behind her, burring his face into her neck and wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“Stop.”  She tried to shrug him off but he wouldn’t let go.  “Stop it, Justin.”  She managed to get out of his embrace and stand up from her spot.  She moved across the room and stood stiffly, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Are you mad at me?”  Rylee almost cracked a smile at the pout that formed across her face, but then she remembered the events of the day before and her frown deepened.

“You didn’t tell her, Justin.”  The pout dropped off his face.  He brought his hands up to run over his head and he let out a deep sigh.

“I tried to, Ry, I really did.”  Justin moved up from the floor and sat back down on the bed.  “I started out by telling her that I’d slept with someone else, someone from the studio.  She just started in with her own assumptions and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her it was you.”  His eyes pleaded with her to understand.

“I had to tell her myself.”  Rylee’s voice was hard, although, she was starting to soften to the desperate look on his face.

“I know.  But Ry, she was saying the most horrible things.  She just went off, breaking up with me, saying things about this “slutty intern,”  I didn’t want to hear what she’d say when I told her it was you.  I’m so sorry.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment.  Justin’s heart broke at the lost look on her features. 

“She kicked me out.”  It was said so quietly that Justin had to strain to catch it all, but he had already made that connection with all the boxes.

“I figured that.”  He wasn’t sure what else to say.  Everything he could think of seemed inappropriate in the seriousness of the moment.

“She hates me, and I can’t blame her.  I don’t know what I’m going to do, Justin.”  The tears started again and Rylee angrily wiped them away.

She was so upset about this whole situation, add to that the sudden stress of needed to find a place to live and figure out a way to pay for everything…Rylee wanted to curl up in a ball and hide forever.

“Rylee, I know she’s your best friend, but honestly, she treated you like shit.”

The fierceness of her stare sent chills down Justin’s back.

“So she deserved this?  She deserved me stabbing her in the back and stealing her boyfriend.”

“But that’s just it!  You didn’t steal me.  Things with Christina and I were shaky and best, and we were already finished when you and I did what we did.  It just hadn’t been said yet.”

“That doesn’t make it right!”  She roared at him, her fists clenched in rage.  “It doesn’t make it better, Justin!  It doesn’t matter that she’s not always the best friend, or the best person.  It doesn’t matter that she’s made some stupid decisions in her life.  She’s my best friend and she’s always been there for me in the ways that it’s counted.  I can’t just act like this isn’t a big deal.”

Her words dissolved into another fit of tears and Justin pushed himself off of the bed and headed over in her direction.  She allowed him to wrap his arms around her, but she didn’t return the embrace.

“What can I do to help?”

“You can turn back the clock and make this all go away.”  She sniffled into his shoulder and Justin pulled back a little so he could look her in the eyes.

“And pretend that you and I never happened?  Take it all back and forget my feelings for you?  Forget your feelings for me?”

“That’s not what--”

“It’s not what you meant but it’s what you said.”  Justin’s voice cut her off, his own anger coming to the surface.  “I get it Rylee, I understand how horrible this all is.  I know that we fucked up, but can you honestly tell me that it wasn’t worth it?  Can you tell me that you’d erase everything that’s happened between us just because it hurts a little?”

She started to speak again, but he stopped her with a look.  Justin took a step back and let go of her, starting to pace the small space between the suitcases.

“No.  Ry, even if we’d done it right, even if we’d waited and I’d broken up with Christina and we’d talked to her about it all….do you really think it would be any different right now?  Sure, maybe you’d still be living together and she wouldn’t be so pissed, but she’d still be giving you the cold shoulder and you’d still be the bad guy for ‘hooking up with her ex.’”  He stopped his movement and looked her dead in the eyes.

“I wouldn’t take any of it back because what’s happened between you and I has made me feel more passion and more happiness then I’ve experienced in a long fucking time.”

Rylee chuckled a little, her tears slowing their flow.  “That speech was beautiful until you threw that ‘fucking’ in there.”

Justin gave her a soft smile as he closed the distance between them and took her back into his arms.  This time she reciprocated by wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest.

“I guess I’m just having a really hard time forgetting the look on her face.”

“I know, I know.”  Justin’s hands trailed through her curls soothingly.  “Give her some time, ok?  Give her some time to cool off and the two of you can sit down and talk about it.”

“That might take a while.”  She chuckled, but it was hollow and stopped shortly after it started.

“You know, she really shouldn’t be that pissed.  She was the one that left the state because she wanted to get away from me.”

“That doesn’t matter, I broke the rules.  You were technically still together and I don’t think she would ever admit that she didn’t want to be with you.”

Justin let out another sigh and tilted his head back, his eyes closed.

“I knew falling in love was difficult, I just didn’t think it would be this dramatic.”

Rylee froze in place, her heart beating rapidly at the words that just came out of his mouth.

“Did you just…did you just say that…”  She couldn’t bring herself to say the words. 

“Am I scaring you?”  His eyes sparkled with amusement and Rylee blushed.

“Yeah, you are.”  She bit her lip as she stared up at him, her blue eyes crashing into his dark ones.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”  He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and kissed the tip of her nose.

“No…it’s…it’s OK.”  She smiled timidly at him, unsure of what to say.  “I just, things are just crazy right now.”

“I know.”  His smiled widened.  “It’s OK, Rylee, I know my timing sucks.”  He turned his head to glance around the room at the boxes and suitcases.  “When do you need to be out of here?”

“She’s coming back sometime tomorrow, so I should really be out tonight.”  There seemed to be an end to their moment, the seriousness creeping back into their postures and words.

“Let’s get to work then, you can store the boxes and stuff in my garage and stay with me until you find an apartment.”

Rylee didn’t say anything, her eyes portraying how thankful she was.  Even though there was a horrible sense of foreboding hanging over their heads, Rylee felt a small sense of contentment.  She watched Justin as he packed boxes and taped them closed.  He seemed to fit there, in her life, in ways that no one else ever had before.  He made sense.  Despite the fact that a relationship between the two of them came with a lot of pre-existing baggage and drama, Rylee really couldn’t picture things if she hadn’t allowed herself to feel for him.

Conflicting emotions were tearing at her conscience, but watching the man across from her made it all seem like it was going to be OK.  He gave her hope.

“Justin.”  She called to him, stopping his project and bringing his eyes to meet hers.  “It’s worth it.”

He grinned at her but said nothing, just continued to pack her albums into a box.

Rylee smiled too, and finished emptying her dresser drawers.  Her heart was broken and she felt like the biggest asshole on earth for what she’d done to Christina, but she meant what she said to Justin.  It wouldn’t make things better if she’d given up on Justin too, because then she’d be lonely and friendless.

Maybe it was selfish of her to enjoy being with Justin, but the shit had already hit the fan; it wouldn’t do her any good to push him away at this point.  The damage had already been done and even if she broke things off with Justin it wasn’t going to bring Christina back.

She just needed to figure out a way to make it stop hurting so much.