By the time Kiki was five months along, she was noticeably pregnant and her life had changed tremendously in that time. One of the biggest differences was her work load. Sadly she had to cut back to only coaching instead of demonstrating and performing the routines she taught in her classes. Of course when she went on maternity leave, close to her eighth month, a sub would be assigned to take over her classes full time and her office work would be divided between the other managers. And speaking of her co-workers, specifically her best friend....
Marissa and Trent were added to the group of people who knew the whole truth behind her Justin/baby drama. None of her friends were stupid so she didn’t have to tell the couple he was the father and of course they swore to her their secrecy. It really affirmed the sense of security she had in her friends and family, knowing that she could share her happy, yet very private business with the ones she loved and trusted.
As far as everyone else around her - the rest of her co-workers, associates, members at the club and even neighbors - when they asked if she was having a baby she never denied it. She was genuinely happy and proud of being pregnant and she didn’t care who knew. Of course they then inquired about her boyfriend, the father, and she simply told them that he was no longer around. That only led to more gossip and rumors flying around, especially at gossip central “ Key West. Half the people who actually approached her gave her genuine congratulations, but the other half congratulated her and then turned around and talked about her. Kiki could care less, she was just relieved that no one had any real suspicions that Justin was the father. Given how far along she was, it was obvious she had gotten pregnant while on tour. But she later found out from Marissa who had overheard a conversation among some members that - thanks to a little bit of ironic luck - because of his “mystery girl”, initial assumptions that Justin was the father had luckily been nixed.
And hey, what about Justin?
The tour ended in December, he was no doubt back in town, but surprise, surprise, not a single attempt to get in contact with Kiki. She felt so dumb for actually hoping he would have a change of heart and make room for the baby in his life. She felt even worse when she cried over it. How she loathed to admit that he still got to her, but given the situation she figured she’d always be saddened by the way he treated her and disregarded their child. So she shed a few tears whenever she was down in the dumps, but she wiped them away and went on with her life.
The end of the tour also brought Alex back to LA to visit the family. Naturally he was floored when he saw her protruding belly. He knew most of the background story more than anyone else so Kiki really didn’t have to tell him much other than Justin’s response to the baby news. Alex was pissed, at Justin, not Kiki for keeping the secret from him. He understood and agreed that he would have seriously gotten into it with Justin and probably gotten himself kicked off the tour if he had known before hand. Alex was family so she didn’t even have to ask him to stay quiet, it was already known. He did swear to Kiki that whatever she needed and whenever she needed it, he would be right there. He even stayed longer in LA before he went back home to start back at the dance company he worked for.
And last but not least, JC became the final member of the super secret baby society. He had been in New York since before Kiki came back to LA, producing some new talent that Jive had signed, completely out of the loop.
Everyone was at Joey’s for a little birthday get together they were having for Trent. JC had come by to catch up with Joey and was not expecting to see a very pregnant Kiki walk into the entertainment room.
“Um don’t hit me ok, I know weight is a sensitive subject for woman, but that’s not fat.” He pointed to her stomach.
“Don’t worry Josh. I am what the doctors call pregnant, with child, in the family way. However you wanna refer to it, I fit the bill.”
“Wow, you know I always said it would be either you or J who had the first kid.” He smirked as Joey sneered. They were the biggest players in the group back in the day. “I can’t believe this. Why am I obviously the last to know? Why didn’t J tell me?” He thought he would have been one of the first people Justin told.
“He hasn’t told anyone C.” Joey informed him.
“Why not?”
“Why do you think?” Kiki glared at him knowingly and he got the hint.
“No, he wouldn’t do something like that.”
“Well he did.” Kiki replied smartly.
“He abandoned his kid?” He fumed and looked at everyone sitting in the room and none of them wore expressions that refuted what he was coming to realize. "What the fuck it wrong with him? How did he rationalize this? Have you talked to him?” He was bouncing questions from Kiki to Joey trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his best friend was uncaring and selfish enough to rejection his own child.
“He’s called me a few times since he got back, but I haven't answered. I don’t have a thing to say to him and there’s nothing he can say, there’s no excuse for this. I don’t want anything to do with it.” Joey shook his head frowning. “I mean how can I watch his kid grow up without him one minute and then go chill with him the next like its nothing. Nuh uh.” To associate himself with Justin right now made Joey feel like an accomplice. His friend was walking down this path without him.
“Someone’s gotta talk to him.”
“Well its not going to be either one of you.” Kiki butted in. This was really none of their business in the first place. “What’s going on with me and Justin has nothing to do with yours and Joey’s friendships with him. You don’t have to choose sides.” She left like she was pitting friends against friends and that's not what she ever intended.
“Oh that’s bullshit right there. This is not about choosing sides. How the hell can we be friends with him, trust him when he can so easily betray his own kid. That means he could turn on us in a heartbeat.” Joey nodded in agreement. He never thought of that, but JC had a point there. “Bottom line: what he’s doing if fucked up Kiki.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to say anything.” God maybe she should have left LA or something. This was causing more drama than she wanted to deal with.
“I’m not going to smile and cheese in his face that’s for sure.” JC finally sat down now that he had calmed. Processing this news shocker, it dawned on him. “Oh shit I have studio time scheduled with him next week.”
“Oh God. Josh-“
He held his hands up in compliance. “I can’t promise that I won’t say anything Kiki, but I’ll try. That’s all I can give you.”
Kiki had a feeling he’d try for like two seconds and then all hell was going to break loose in that studio. JC seemed very angry and disappointed in Justin which didn’t shock her. Justin had told her how he and JC were more like brothers than friends. She hoped he was ready to face one of the consequences for this choice he made.
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It was over. His first solo tour was now complete and was a hit both in the US and across the pond. Too bad he didn’t feel like a hit, he felt like shit actually, he was just good at covering it up. Europe was a miserable place for Justin. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about Kiki or miss her in every aspect of his life. He longed to see her smiling face pop through his dressing room door or hear her soothing voice when he was stressed or frustrated. Sleeping by his self still was hard to do, he still reach out for her at night. And at work “ well her replacement, Michele, was a good dancer, but she wasn’t Kiki. They didn’t have that same working chemistry to pull off the same act that he and Kiki had. Still it was good enough to make each show a success at the end of the night, it just didn’t leave him with the same thrill that performing with Kiki had. All around life had dimmed for Justin without her.
And oh yeah “ the baby. He really couldn’t forget that one and the guilt almost ate him up from the inside. He remembered one day he was out shopping in London and it seemed like every mother and their baby were out that day. He tried to ignore it, but the sight and sounds of those little lives eventually became too much for him and he went back to his hotel as fast as he could. That night at the after party, he drank so much he forgot most of that evening including who the two girls he woke up in bed with were. It wasn’t the best remedy, but drowning his sorrow in alcohol and women kept those voices in the back of his head quiet whenever they got too loud. Besides he figured he’d screwed himself bad enough as is, might as well keep going.
Now he was back in LA and being a drunk and a womanizer wasn’t that easy to hide from the American public eye so he had to tame his habits a little. There was no tour to keep him occupied during the day so he went into the studio. Maybe he could start a new album up while he was coping, his music was the only real thing he had anymore anyway. He found out from Johnny that JC was back in LA after doing one hell of a job producing some new talent that Jive had signed. He called his friend up and they scheduled some studio time only a week after his return. Being in a studio with one of his best friends was much more appealing than being in his big empty house.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The day arrived when Justin and JC had their scheduled studio time and while one of them was looking forward to it, the other was dreading it. Still they had paid for the time already so JC knew it had to be done. He decided he would just stick to the music, whatever else Justin had to say he didn’t want to hear it.
Justin noticed that JC didn’t seem that into their greeting, there was a distance there, but he couldn’t think of why he would be acting that way. He knew how JC could be though so he figured he was just in one of his moods.
The studio was quiet, other than the sound of their pens scratching on their note pads or the beats they were experimenting with coming out of the speakers. At first JC’s silence really wasn’t alarming, like him, he usually got into a zone when he worked and talking was at a minimal. But this wasn’t minimal, this was non existence, so Justin finally asked.
“Something wrong with you man?”
He’d been wondering when Justin was going to question him so without hesitating he answered. “I should be asking you that cause from what I’ve heard you’re not the same Justin.”
“What are you talking about?”
JC threw his pen on the soundboard and sat back to look his friend in the face. He want him to see how pissed he was. “I’m talking about the fact that the baby’s not even here yet and already you’re a fuckin’ deadbeat.”
He scoffed bitterly. “Why am I not surprised.” Looked like Kiki wasn’t that ashamed to tell people he was the father, she was obvious being very vocal about it. “That explains why Joey isn’t talking to me. I bet she ran straight to the both of you crying about what big bad Justin did.”
Fired up over that snotty comment, JC sat up straight in his seat and growled. “Don’t even think about it. Don’t blame her for the shit that you pulled. Not that you deserve an explanation, but she didn’t say a word to me or Joey.” Justin pointing a finger at anyone but his self was unacceptable to JC. Kiki could shout from the Hollywood sign that he was the father and it would still be his fault for why his kid was going to grow up without a father. “You didn’t think we wouldn’t notice when she walked into a room pregnant?”
“Look you and Joey don’t know what its like to be in my situation so you really can’t say a damn thing.”
“Fuck that man. You know what you’re doing is foul and eventually it’s going to come back at you.” He shook his head in disgust and disappointment in his best friend. “Listen it’s not my job to tell you how to live you life no matter how fucked up it is so just forget it. Forget this too.” He gestured to the soundboard. “I’m not feeling it anymore.” He backed up in his seat and stood, gathering his things to leaving.
“Whatever man.” Justin blew him off. Even if JC was willing to listen to his side, he didn’t have to explain himself to anyone least of all his friends. This was his decision, his life.
Not breaking his stride towards the exit, JC sneered. “Do yourself a favor - save the date “ April 27th, 2004. That’s when your kid's going to be born. Maybe by then you’ll wake the fuck up.”
As he was pulled the door open, Trace was on the other side pushing and they collided.
“Whoa. Hey man. Long time no see.” He smiled, but JC didn’t return the expression.
“Yeah you too Trace. Good to see you. I’ll talk to you later.” JC side stepped him and left the studio.
“What’s his deal?”
Trace was the only friend he had right now and Justin knew he’d be just as angry and disappointed as Joey and JC. He couldn’t take that from another one of his brothers. So he lied.
“Nothing.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s just stressin’ over all these producing jigs Jive’s been throwing him. He’ll get over it.”
He knew the truth was something JC would not get over it. Even more than Joey, he was very hurt by Justin's behavior. They had known each other longer and were closer, so JC felt very deceived by the loyal and trustworthy person he thought Justin was. Overtime a rift grew between Joey and JC, and Justin. They only socialized during public events and rarely spoke to one another, only to make sure the other was still breathing.
Truthfully, Justin was ashamed of himself and knew there was no justification for his actions so he stayed quiet about the baby and was left alone in his regret.
Kiki on the other hand had gained another person to her support system. She and her friends became a very close tight net group, going out together, having dinner at each other’s houses. It was a great comfort for her to be surrounded by people that she knew she could count on. All and all, she was happy and very fulfilled in her life and her pregnancy. With relapses that left her angry or sad, she did her best to put Justin as far out of her mind as possible. For herself, but more for the baby, she was determined to stay positive. Her child was the most important thing in her life and she put all her energy into being the best mother she could be.
