After falling asleep in her mother’s arms and with her new found father at her side, Cheyenne had a restful night’s sleep. Her parents, on the other hand, had a crappy night. Sleeping on a sofa, especially for a six foot person, was never comfortable, but they could have slept on a cloud and still have been restless and worried that Cheyenne temperature would spike again in the middle of the night. Luckily she stayed stable throughout the night which meant her chances of coming out of isolation today were very good.
Bright and early, Dr. Sabine arrived for Cheyenne’s morning check up, retrieving Justin and Kiki first so she’d have their comforting presence with her first thing in the morning. As they were walking into the room, with Cheyenne in her arm, a nurse was coming out of the bathroom after changing her.
When Cheyenne saw her mother, a big smile popped on her face and she immediately reached out for her. “Hi baby!” Kiki greeted her happily as she took her out of the nurse’s releasing arms. She wrapped her arms around Kiki’s neck in a tight hug and knowing how relieved her baby was to see her, Kiki snuggled her close. Justin stood at their side and instinctively, he reached out to rub Cheyenne’s back soothingly. To his relief and happiness she didn’t flinch away from his unfamiliar touch. Instead when she felt another hand on her back, she turned to look at Justin and once recognition set in, she smiled.
“Hey Cheyenne. Did you sleep good last night?” He asked as he stroked her soft little cheek. Through a yawn she nodded and then rested her head on Kiki’s shoulder.
“Well that’s good huh?” Kiki leaned back slightly to see her face and Cheyenne sat up again.
“Yes.” She answered with a definitive tone while she played with Kiki’s hair and both her parents laughed at the conviction she managed to express for a 20 month old.
As much as he hated to break up their happy moment, Cheyenne needed her morning check up and the quicker that happened the quicker they could get her out of isolation. Something he was sure they all wanted, so he politely interrupted with the clearing of his throat.
Remembering they weren’t alone and the task at hand, Justin and Kiki brought Cheyenne over to the crib she’d slept in that was now opened up for her examination.
Before he got started Dr. Sabine introduced them to the nurse who had been holding Cheyenne earlier and would be assisting him. Like all the other personnel they’d meet since they’d been here, she seemed to be a very caring and warm person. Kiki and Justin were both very pleased with the type of people who were caring for their daughter.
Since she was too upset to really acknowledge him last night, Dr. Sabine next introduced himself to his patient. “Hi Cheyenne. I’m Dr. Harry do you remember me from yesterday. ” She shook her head, keeping a hold of Kiki’s hand for comfort as this stranger stared down at her. “Well that’s okay. It’s nice to meet you again anyway.” He reached out his hand and she shook it.
“You too.”
He smiled at her politeness despite her obvious unease. “Okay then Cheyenne, this is Ms. Margaret. She’s going to help me give you a check up, like when you go to the doctor’s.” She nodded, her eyes filled with apprehension. “She going to put this little butterfly clip on your arm for a little while.” He held the decorative needle so that only colorful butterfly covering it showed. “And I’m going to listen to your heart so I know what it sounds like….Actually how about I have you listen to it first so you can tell me what I should hear when its my turn.”
This time she nodded anxiously, her fears quelled a little by the apparatus that she always wanted to play with at the doctor’s. Dr. Sabine put the stethoscope on her and underneath her hospital gown pressed the chestpiece to her heart. All the adults watched with amusement as Cheyenne’s eyes widened and she smiled big.
She turned to her parents and exclaimed in wonder. “Mommy, Mommy. I hear. I hear!”
Along with Justin, Kiki could see the diversion Dr. Sabine had created, so she fully engaged Cheyenne with her new discovery. “Yeah? What’s its sound like?”
“You hear.” She pulled out the ear buds of the stethoscope and offered them first to Kiki and then Justin. They both ooh-ed and awed for affect all the while, with Cheyenne’s attention off of her and the doctor, Margaret had started drawing blood and she was none the wiser. She had moved on to using the borrowed stethoscope on her parents and in the meantime Dr. Sabine pulled out another from his pocket to check her vitals.
He and Margaret finished up the exam without a hitch and after recording the information on Cheyenne’s chart, Dr. Sabine reported his findings to her parents. “Everything looks good. Her temperature is perfect. I’m going to go process her samples and I’ll be back in a little bit with the results. If things look good “ which I suspect they will. We’ll move her into her room.”
Justin and Kiki thanked him again as he left the room, but nurse Margaret stayed behind. “Breakfast is going to be served soon. Does she like Raisin Bran, Kix, or Cheerios?“
“Kix are perfect.” Kiki managed to answer around Cheyenne trying to stick the stethoscope in her ears so she could hear Justin’s heartbeat.
“Ok I’ll go pass the information on and I’ll be back shortly to break you guys out of here.” She quipped, amusing both adults and left the room.
The trio was left alone to wait and eventually the stethoscope lost its appeal for Cheyenne. No longer distracted, she spoke up to question her mother.
“Go home Mommy?”
Kiki and Justin shared an uncomfortable glance. How to explain to a toddler that she wouldn’t be going home, back to her comfort zone, for quite some time? “I’m sorry baby, but we have to stay here for awhile.”
“Why?”
As Cheyenne looked up at her with those disappointed, sad blue eyes, it stung Kiki’s heart and she picked her up to hold her close and explain as best as she could. “Remember how you didn’t feel good baby?” She nodded. “Well we have to stay here so that you can get better.” Kiki knew she was barely connecting the dots, only understanding that she wouldn’t be going home like she wanted to. So she changed tactics. “Listen babyheart we may not be able to go home just yet, but you, me and Daddy are gonna have lots a fun while you get better. We can watch movies, play games, read a bunch of book, all kinds of fun stuff. How’s that sound? That sounds good doesn’t it Daddy?” Kiki looked to Justin for some rallying support.
He had been watching Kiki handle Cheyenne’s questioning with relief. He had no idea how to answer her himself, how to reassure her. But he could do this, he could definitely inject some fun and excitement in a rather dismal circumstance.
“That sounds awesome! I can’t wait to have loads of fun with you and Mommy. You can show me all your favorite games and I can show you mine. Yeah?”
“Yeah!” Cheyenne grinned happily. Staying here couldn’t be all that bad if she had her Mommy and this new person who she liked with her.
“Alright. We’re gonna have ourselves a real good time.” He proclaimed enthusiastically. “Give me five.”
Cheyenne giggled and reached over to slap his hand.
Happy to see he helped put a smile back on his baby girl’s face, Justin couldn’t contain his own.
Kiki was watching Justin as he watched their daughter with so much affection written on his face. She was so happy and proud to witness how things just kept getting better and better between them.
It took some time for Dr. Sabine's returned, but he came back with good news. Cheyenne’s WBC count was slightly higher than it had been when she was admitted. Now that didn’t mean that the leukemia was magically gone, but her infection was and her stint in isolation was over.
Before the anxiously awaited move, with directions from Dr. Sabine, Justin left briefly to take his and Kiki’s stuff to the new room. When he came back Kiki asked. “How’s the room look?” She scrunched up her nose, bracing herself for news that spelled another uncomfortable sofa for the next month and a half.
“I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised.” He winked at her and turned his attention to the other lady in the room. “Now Ms. Cheyenne. I was on my way back here and I bumped into a friend of yours here to visit.”
In Kiki’s arm, wrapped in a blanket and all ready to go, Cheyenne watched him, eyebrows raised with curiosity. And from behind his back, Justin revealed Duke.
“Surprise!”
Her face lit up and the stethoscope that she had to give back was forgotten as she pulled her friend into her chest, squeezing him tight.
“See there babyheart Duke’s here to have fun with us too.” Kiki said, kissing her forehead. It was one more home comfort Cheyenne had through the duration of this trying time in her young life.
The move from isolation a go, Dr. Sabine left them in the capable hands of Margaret so he could check on another patient, promising to meet them in the new room shortly. As Margaret was preparing to lead the way out, Kiki made a suggestion to her daughter.
“How about you let Daddy carry you? He’s tall so you can see everything from up there.” Cheyenne looked up at her father and liking the prospect, she reached out for him.
It was his first time carrying her like this, but it felt so natural as he fitted her little body in his arms. Tiny and light as a damn feather, he thought to himself, but he teased her and said.
“Whoa. You’re heavy.”
“No I not.” She pouted indignantly. It was so cute he had to laugh, but she was serious so he corrected himself.
“Wait a minute, wait a minute. Let me get a better grip.” He tossed her lightly and she squealed in delight, clinging to his arms tight. Justin chuckled at her response and kissed the side of her head, holding her close so she knew the last thing he would ever do was drop her.
Finally they let Margaret escorted them out of the dreary isolation wing to the long term treatment wing. On their way, she showed them the playroom where they had story time each day and special visitors once a week for the children.
Arriving at room 4523, they were led inside and just as Justin has said, Kiki was pleasantly surprised and quite impressed with what she saw. The room looked more like a small studio apartment than the typical barren hospital room. Of course there was the standard center piece - a hospital bed “ sitting to the left side of the room, but it was in between a pseudo living room set at the front and a day bed at the back. On the right side of the room, in front of the group of sitting and sleeping furniture, was a dresser stand with a TV and DVD player on top. The ambience of the room was nothing like a hospital either, especially with the pictures of Elmo doing various activities all over the walls, hence its name: “The Elmo Room”. Another welcomed addition was the adjoining full bathroom in the back right corner of the room. The whole layout and all the accommodations of the long term treatment room was designed to not only create some normalcy and comfort for the child, but also took in consideration the parents who understandably refused to leave their child’s side and provided them some lodging as well. It was very much appreciated by Kiki and Justin. And as for Cheyenne, well…
“Mommy Elmo!” She cheered with excitement.
“I see. Its cool isn’t it?”
She nodded and when Justin playfully deposited her on her bed, she giggled. In spite of where they were, the cheerful room and especially the cheerful baby, lightened the mood of this ordeal a little more.
After scoping out the room, Kiki was settled on the bed with Cheyenne in her lap and Justin was sitting in front of them as they were talking, when Dr. Sabine rejoined them.
“So what do we think about the Elmo Room? It’s pretty neat huh Cheyenne?”
“Yes.” She answered as she looked around. “I like Elmo hula.” She pointed to the picture across the room of Elmo hula hooping.
“Can you hula hoop?” She nodded confidently, but Kiki was behind her shaking her head and trying not to laugh. Cheyenne’s version of hula hooping involved her wiggling her hips in a circle, but she never let go of the hoop.
Dr. Sabine may not have vocalized it but his amusement was very much visible. “Well then I think me and the nurses will have to get you a new hula hoop before you get out of here huh?” It was tradition for the staff to give a graduation present of sorts when one of their patients was discharged. Cheyenne nodded, her focus now on playing with Duke. “That means we have to get her started on her treatments tomorrow afternoon.” He now addressed her parents. “From the start her chemotherapy is going to be very rigorous to stop the leukemia’s progression and fight the damage that’s already been done. The means the side effects are going to start fairly quickly, the reason for her status as an in-patient rather than an out-patient.” Justin and Kiki were hearing everything he was saying as they steeled themselves for what they were going to have to see and comfort Cheyenne through. Dr. Sabine could see them mentally and emotionally preparing themselves and proceeded. “I assume you are aware of the side effects she’ll experience?”
Justin nodded as he exhaled deeply and watched his baby girl in her own little happy world, hating that she had to go through this.
Kiki was in the same state of mind and as much as she didn’t want to have them listed to her, she still needed to know what was going to happen to her child. “She’s going to be very exhausted, weak, horribly nauseous and she’s going to have hair loss. Right?”
Regretfully Dr. Sabine confirmed that and sighing sadly, he said. “It’s a horribly paradox, chemotherapy. While it destroys the cancer, it also damages the rest of the body that is perfectly healthy. How I wish we had other treatment options that weren’t so detrimental.”
Kiki responded with sullen acceptance. “It’s our only option though so…” They had no control over the matter and could only deal with whatever the fall out was as best as they could.
Feeling just as discontented, Justin reached out to hold her hand in consolation and comradery. Together they’d be strong and get Cheyenne over this hurdle.
As they were talking, the breakfast cart arrived with Cheyenne’s meal. Justin offered to get her situated while Kiki and Dr. Sabine moved to sit on the sofa and finish talking. He’d catch up later. It wasn’t ideal at all, but in a way this was his first time put breakfast together for his daughter. This situation all together wasn’t ideal, but this was where they were and he was using what he had to connect with her. And so far it was going better than he could have ever hoped for.
Once he saw Cheyenne had her Kix, fruit salad and orange juice on the tray table in front of her, completely under control. He kissed the top of her head and joined the others in the pseudo living room.
Dr. Sabine was filling Kiki in on the selection menu for Cheyenne’s lunch, dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast that came with her meal. He explained that they would have to fill one out each day for her daily meal plan.
“Okay Dr. Sabine you’ve met our mothers and you saw the spread they brought in here for us last night. They’re about ten times worse when it comes to their grandbaby, so is it okay if she eats non-hospital foods?”
Being familiar with mothers and their stance on the importance of home cooked meals, he asked with mirth in his voice. “Well what kind of foods are we talking about?”
Cheyenne was used to a healthy diet that consisted of home cooked foods, but fast food did find its way in occasional. Especially if it was cheeseburgers and fries from Sonic, but her favorite foods were her Gigi’s quesadillas and her Nonnie’s cooked zucchini. Kiki wanted to make sure these foods wouldn’t aggravate her illness or interfere with her treatment.
Dr. Sabine assured her that unless she was allergic to it, any foods were okay for Cheyenne to eat. He did warn that with the extreme nausea she’d experience, a change in appetite was a likely occurrence, meaning she may avoid even her favorites if they made her feel sick.
Glancing at Cheyenne who was digging into her cereal, again Kiki had to accept that her poor baby was about to go through hell. “Okay. Um there is one more thing though. She’s a choc-o-holic.”
Justin smirked and Dr. Sabine chuckled. “In moderation and she’ll be fine.”
“Great!” She really didn’t want to have to deal with a chocolate deprived Cheyenne. Her little pixie was addicted!
“Alright with that said, for today we’re going to let her rest up and monitor her vitals throughout the day.” Dr. Sabine began wrapping up this morning’s meeting. “I’ll be in and out, but if you have any questions Margaret and any of the other nurses will be available. If you want to speak with me directly, feel free to have me paged.”
“Thanks again Dr. Sabine.” Justin shook hands with the man and he nodded courteously to Kiki.
“I’ll see you later. Bye Cheyenne.”
“Bye Dr. Harry.” She waved and took a sip of juice.
Once he was gone, Justin and Kiki rejoined Cheyenne on her bed as she finished eating. After her breakfast, Kiki put the TV on Nickelodeon and Cheyenne quickly fell into an episode of Backyardigans.
Hungry and in need of a caffeine fix, Justin decided to go see what the café downstairs had to offer, but not before getting an order from Kiki.
“Get me a regular coffee “ cream and sugar “ and if they have any, a muffin…B-“
“Blueberry.” He finished for her and Kiki smiled at the fact that he remembered.
When Justin returned, he found that their parents had arrived.
“Ooh visitors. Hey Ma, Dad.” Justin greeted them happily, but got no greeting in return. His and Kiki’s parents were too engrossed in Cheyenne who was eating up the attention, the books, puzzles, and other toys they had brought to keep her entertained.
“Get used to it.”
He turned to see Kiki sitting on the sofa with her laptop, going through her email. “You’ve served your purpose, you’ve given them a grandchild. You no longer count.”
Seeing as his parents had yet to acknowledge him, Justin saw that she was absolutely right and dropped onto the cushion next to her. “Huh. Well here’s your coffee and muffin.”
“Oh they thought about us enough to bring breakfast.” She pointed to the McDonald’s bags and coffees on the coffee table. “Guess we can just eat those muffins later.”
“You can.” Justin corrected and added his banana nut muffin to his Mickey D’s bag that contained 2 breakfast sandwiches.
“Greedy much.” He grinned and bobbed his head agreeably as he opened up his first sandwich.
It was then that Lynn noticed her son’s presence. “Oh hi honey.”
“Hi Ma.” He said through his mouthful of food.
The rest of the parents fell into line greeting him now that Cheyenne was sufficiently showered with affection.
“So how was your night?” Nina asked and sat herself on the sofa chair adjacent to Kiki. Lynn sat in the one opposite her and Paul perched on the arm. Frederick stayed with Cheyenne reading her one of the new book he and Nina brought her.
Putting her laptop aside, Kiki looked over at Justin and they smiled at each other, thinking about how well his and Cheyenne’s introduction had gone. “It was pretty good actually. I mean it was crazy uncomfortable sleeping on those sofas.” Justin couldn’t agree more. “But Cheyenne was fine through the night so..”
Nearby, Cheyenne had taken over “reading” her book, so Frederick was able to join the conversation. “What’d the doctor say this morning?”
“Her temperature is stable and her WBC count is up, so her chemo starts tomorrow.” The last was said with glumness by Justin. Tomorrow may be the beginning of Cheyenne’s recovery, but it was also the start of a hard battle.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Paul and Frederick stayed for a little while before they left for work. Frederick had a meeting he couldn’t reschedule and Paul had volunteered to man the office for the day. Tomorrow he and Lynn were closing for the day, and Nina and Frederick were taking the day off so they could be there for moral support. It wasn’t far fetched to assume everyone would be stopping in for the next few days.
Nina and Lynn had decided to stick around until it was time for their lunch date with a few mutual friends. Besides they had brought with them a few things they wanted to share with Justin.
He had just finished checking his own email on Kiki’s computer when his mother asked for his and Kiki’s attention. “Put that thing away. We have something better for the two of you to look at.”
Both she and Nina grabbed the tote bags they arrived with and pulled out DVDs and a some photo albums. “We thought you might want to play catch up while you were cooped up in here.” Nina teased.
“The DVDs and pictures are actually yours. Copies we’ve been saving up for you.” Justin was speechless over his mother’s and Nina’s gesture. It was as if they both believed he’d eventually get his act together and instead of shutting him out they were helping him build a relationship with Cheyenne.
He looked at the DVDs with different titles like, Pixie’s Firsts and Happy First Christmas Cheyenne! He may not have been there, but it was still soul-soothing to know he’d get a glimpse of his daughter’s life so far. “Wow. This is…” He shook his head, a lost for words. “Thank you so much.”
“Just so you know, this is a one time deal. No more disappearing acts.” Nina chastised him jokingly. “You take your own pictures and videos from now on.” She smiled kindly and he nodded his complete compliance of the camouflaged order.
“And I’m giving you this one chance honey: Do I have anymore grandchildren out there that you haven’t told me about?”
Kiki and Nina giggled while he rolled his eyes at her. “No Mama.”
“Just checking.” She smirked at him and reached over to ruffle his head. “I’m proud of you baby. It may be a little late, but you stood up and proved to be the man that I raised you to be.” Justin smiled brightly, happy that he’d gained back his mother pride and faith in him.
Beside him, Kiki had cracked open the first in the series of photo albums. She had seen most of there pictures a hundred times, if not taken them herself, but going down memory lane was always fun.
“Hey Pix, you wanna see some pictures?”
Cheyenne had been sitting on her bed, enjoy her new books, but looking at pictures was much more entertaining. Being closest to her, Nina grabbed her granddaughter when she looked as if she was going to try to get out of the bed herself and placed her in Kiki’s arms.
Going back to the first page, Kiki placed the album in Justin’s lap and turned herself and Cheyenne so all three of them could see the pictures. The first page was sonograms of Cheyenne and Justin studied the little black and white snap shots intently committing to memory every detail that Kiki pointed out to him.
The next page was of Kiki pregnant during her first, second and last trimester.
“Mommy you have a tummy.”
Tummy and all, Kiki was beautiful pregnant, Justin thought. It was just another thing he regretted not seeing for himself.
“That’s because you were inside my tummy.”
“That me?” She pointed to her mother’s protruding 8 month pregnant stomach.
“Yup and this.” Kiki flipped to the next page. “Is you as a little baby.” They were pictures of Cheyenne only hours after her birth and Justin looked at them in awe. She looked so innocent and brand new.
“A beautiful little baby.” He got a big bright smile from her followed by a giggle when he gently booped her nose.
“Next page.” Cheyenne announced while already starting to move on, apparently having her fill of those photos.
For the rest of the morning, the five of them looked through the albums and talked until it was time for Nina and Lynn to go. To no surprise, they left and right after, Maya, Marissa and Tami filed in to visit while on their lunch break. The guys weren’t far behind. Trace’s visit being the most memorable when he was introduced to Cheyenne for the first time and Justin kept calling him Uncle Tracey “ getting a giggle out of Kiki and a grumble for him. Kiki’s cell and the room phone was ringing off the hook, flowers, cards and teddy bears came pouring in as news about Cheyenne’s hospitalization spread. It was well after they had dinner, provided by Nina who was playing delivery person tonight with her husband in tow, that they had peace and quiet in the room again.
While the three of them were lounging on the daybed, watching a movie, Cheyenne cuddled up in Kiki’s arms falling asleep, the quiet was broken by Justin’s cell phone. He was just going to ignore it at first until he saw who was calling. Now he wasn’t sure if he should or even wanted to answer.
“Uh… I’m gonna take this outside.” He muted his phone so not to interrupt again and slid out of the bed. “Either of you want anything?”
“No I’m fine and...” Kiki looked down in the crook of her arm and chuckled. “She’s out.”
Justin peered in to see her cute little sleeping face, that fist tucked under her chin and he smiled. “Okay. I’ll be back.”
Leaving the room, he went down to the visitor’s lounge and called Cameron back.
“Hey.”
“Hi. How are you? How’s Cheyenne?”
“I’m good. She’s good. Her infection is gone and she’s out of isolation, but that means her chemo starts tomorrow.”
“Yeah it’s a tough process, but she still needs it to get better.”
Justin was smiling as he listened to her talk. She sounded much more understanding then she did yesterday. Maybe she could handle him having a child. “Yeah I hate that she had to go through this. She’s so young and so…God she such a happy, bubbly little girl. Kiki did a great job raising her.”
Cameron could hear such pride and happiness in his voice that she’d never heard before despite his daughter’s illness. He really was enjoying being in her life now and it made her happy for him. “She has you too now, so I’m sure she’ll be just fine in the end.”
“God I hope so.” If he had to watch that happiness and light in her eyes be dimmed by all this, it would break his heart. All he could do was believe she’d bounce back better than ever. “How have you been?”
“Good. I didn’t do much today. I had lunch with Drew and we did some shopping. Other than that I’ve just been thinking.”
He wasn’t stupid enough to think she hadn’t told her best friend what was going on, but they weren’t stupid enough to blab to anyone. Not if they didn’t want to set him off, so he didn’t even bother to worry about that little get together. He did want to know if she’d come to any conclusions during her discussion with Drew. “And?”
He heard her sigh over the line before she answered. “I’m not sure. I still need to figure this all out. It’s a lot to take Justin.”
“I know. I understand. You gotta do, what you gotta do.”
She was quiet for awhile until she said. “Yeah….but um I know the next couple of days are going to be hectic for you, so um I’ll probably come to visit in a few days.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Again there was awkward silence between them, neither knowing what to say. It was probably best that they just say goodbye for now. “Well I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Yeah. You have a good night.”
“You too. Night.”
“Night.” He hung up and took a deep breath. That was stressful and yet nothing concerning their relationship was resolved. Apparently it would just have to stay that way until she made a decision on her own. He wasn’t going to push her and to be honest, he had a more important relationship to concentrate on.
Returning to the Elmo Room, he found Kiki had moved herself and Cheyenne to the bed and they were snuggled up under the covers. It was a sight that put a smile on his face and anything outside of this room was non existent.
“Comfy?”
Kiki laughed softy. “She was in a whole other room from me last night. I don’t even want her on another side of this room tonight.” Watching her baby sleep, she leaned down to kiss her cheek. When she looked back at Justin, she could see a longing in his face, so lifting the blanket on the other side of Cheyenne and smiled warmly. “You’re more than welcomed to bunk out with us. We can have a sleepover.”
“Cool!” He cheered like a big kid and joined them. Kicking off his sneakers, he stretched out next to the two ladies and before settling down, he kissed Cheyenne goodnight. He was lying back with his hand behind his head when he noticed Kiki was watching a different movie.
“What are we watching now?”
“Not another cartoon movie, thank God.”
He laughed lightly, trying not to disturb the sleeping baby. “I’m glad you said it.”
“Oh honey, it’s just begun for you. Welcome to the world of a two year old.”
