After the confrontation in her kitchen with Justin, Kiki was at a stand still against him. Why shouldn’t she be? He hadn’t done anything to prove he deserved yet another chance and he was still with Cameron. She had past experience giving Justin space and waiting for him to come around. It blew up in her face the last time. She wasn’t going to go through that again, so she decided it was time for her to make an honest to God effort to finally move on.
For her return to an active single life, Kiki planned to go all out at the birthday party Joey was throwing for Tami. She was so excited about it, she even brought a sexy little strapless dress, some shoes and had a full treatment at the hair salon. Yes this was her best friend’s day, but personally and privately it was her coming out celebration too. Better yet this would be the first party with their inner circle that she could enjoy like the old days without any uncomfortable tension or frustration because Justin wouldn’t be there. She was going to the party regardless, she wasn’t about to miss her girl’s 25th over him, but his absence was a nice cherry on top.
Once everyone that counted made it to the house and the party was in full swing, Kiki made sure to be right in the thick where she was having a ball. For the first time in a long time, she could really let loose. Cheyenne was at Lynn and Paul’s having a sleep over with Robbie and Justin wasn’t hovering around, breathing down her neck. Regardless of her new sense of freedom, she refrained from drinking. Lately she was proving to be a pretty stupid drinker so she stayed sober, only getting buzzed off the wonderful time she was having.
With a small plate full of finger foods, Kiki returned to the den where everyone had convened and discovered that her little bubble of relief and happiness was busted. Standing at the bar chatting it up with her brother and Joey, was Justin.
Initially she felt panicked, but that quickly made way for her anger. What the hell is he doing here? He’s supposed to be across the country somewhere, not here ruining my fun.
It was times like this when she wished they didn’t share friends. He had just as much right to be here. Their friends had decided not to take sides, granted they sympathized more with Kiki, but when it all boiled down to it, both she and Justin were responsible for the drama between them. Of course there were the exceptions: Maya who was sorely tempted to scratch Justin’s eyes out and Derek who was clueless about the whole situation and would remain that way for obvious reasons. In the end, the inner circle had decided that unless thing got bad, to just stay out of it.
As Kiki stood there watching Justin cracking up laughing with the guys, she fumed. If she couldn’t blame him for coming, she could blame the ass who told her he wouldn’t be here.
Marching up to the couple unnoticed, she announced her presence by popped JC in the back of his head. “I thought you said he wasn’t coming? You said he was out of town.”
Getting over the shock and brushing away the sting of her hit, JC realized what she was talking about and amended. “I don’t know. He said he was. Maybe he had a change of plan.”
“Are you going to be okay with him here?” Eva asked.
“I’m gonna have to be. I’m not about to bail out on Tami over him.” She huffed annoyingly. “I’ll just avoid him, that shouldn’t be too hard.” Pointing a finger at the both of them, she ordered. “And this is between me and him so please don’t interfere like Maya tried to.”
“’Tried’ being the operative word.” JC muttered to himself, but the girls heard him and slapped him in each arm. “Ow! Geez I was just sayin’. It’s not like I wasn’t telling the truth.”
With a snarl at him and dragging Eva along, Kiki stomped over to the huddle that the girls had started at the bay window settee.
“I cannot believe he had the nerve to show up.” Maya started as she glared over at an oblivious Justin, but Tami, the voice of logic, countered.
“Well he was invited and he is a friend even if he’s been acting like an ass lately. It would be unfair if we dismissed him, but not Kiki. She’s just as guilt.”
Maya sucked her teeth, but before she could go off the handle, Kiki checked her. “Maya she’s right. Like always.” She quipped and Tami smirked arrogantly. “I appreciate you guys support and give or take your opinions, but I don’t expect you to rally behind me against the evil Justin.” She embellished. “This is between me and him. And it’s not like I’m not going to have some sort of contact with him. We do share a child. Things are just intense right now and I’m being a little paranoid.” She rolled her eyes, mentally slapping herself to get a grip. She was an adult “ mature, strong, and capable of standing her ground against anything. “I’ll be fine guys don’t worry.”
“If you say so Kiki, but a swift kick to the ball couldn’t hurt right?” Tami suggested and it sent the girls into a fit of giggles.
In the midst of her laughter, Kiki gave herself a confidence boost. She could handle being around Justin for the night especially since she really didn’t have to interact with him if she didn’t want to. He could stay in one part of the room and she in another without drama. No drama - that’s how the night started and that’s how she was determined to see it end.
Breaking the consulting huddle, the girls went back into the folds of the party and it wasn’t long before Justin finally made his presence known to Kiki.
Chatting with one of Tami’s co-workers, she felt that unmistakable stare burning into her back. Normally she would ignore it until Justin came and made her pay attention to him, but today was a new day and she wanted him to know she wasn’t going to play along anymore. When she turned around, he was smirking at her and with a flash of a polite smile she turned her back on him.
That surprised Justin. He came here thinking they’d maybe play around and tease each other some more, if not talk straight out “ he did have a lot to say to her - but he was not expecting to be so easily written off. It concerned him a little “ maybe she was serious when she said she was done with him.
He grunted at the thought. Not gonna happen Baby Doll. He took a long pull of his beer and the wheels in his head started spinning.
Unfortunately they weren’t spinning fast enough because little did Justin know, someone else had his eye on Kiki and he was ready to make his move.
“Excuse me ladies, excuse me. I’m sure I’m cutting into some groundbreaking dialogue right now.” Laughing at their hissing, Joey invited himself into the circle they had formed outside around some poolside lounge chairs. “But I want you to meet a friend of mine “ Elli Troy. Elli this is Tami, my birthday girl, Eva, Bianca, Maya, Marissa and Kiki.”
“Hi ladies.” Elli replied to them all, but his eyes kept shifting towards Kiki, eventually staying there when he finished scanning the circle of women.
No one missed the way he was looking at Kiki who was trying not to blush and Maya decided to play at a little matchmaking.
“So Elli what do you do?”
“I’m a lawyer.” He answered confidently and again Maya took the initiative to capitalize on the similarity.
“Oh our dad is a lawyer. Right Kiki?” She turned to her sister putting all the attention on her and Elli caught the bait.
“Really? What firm?” He asked Kiki directly.
“He’s a VP with Price and Barnes.”
“Oh corporate lawyer. Nice.” He complimented and continued to engage her and her alone. “So I know what its like to be a lawyer, what’s it like to be a lawyer’s kid?”
The people seated around them started mysteriously disappearing and Elli sat himself on one of the now empty lounges as he and Kiki quickly got caught in a conversation that had them blocking out everything else nearby.
In the meantime, across the backyard, Justin was being a good boy, mingling, chatting and not bothering Kiki. Not for now at least, let her have fun as she stuck tight with her friends. It was fine by him, sooner or later she’d have to venture out alone and he’d be right on her tail.
While Justin waited, he and JC were catching up with Joey’s brother, Steve, and his wife Cyndi who were in town for the party. Briefly he looked away for a little Kiki recon and what he saw at first was nothing bothersome until he noted the guy Joey was introducing to the girls. More importantly, it was the look on the guy’s face and who it was directed at that got to him. He knew that look, the infatuated feeling behind it and it sent a blinding rage through him. Kiki was his, no matter the situation they were in. There was no way around it and he’d be damned if someone tried to take what was his.
He so badly wanted to charge over there and rip that guy away from her, but he didn’t want to ruin Tami’s night so he kept his cool. For the time being at the very least. All bets were off if he tried anything more than talking with Kiki. He’d just keep an eye on them until he could step in and calmly take care of this problem. Right now he had a traitor to deal with.
“Fellas I think it’s time to inject some of our special brand of excitement into this party.” Joey mischievously suggested when he joined in on their circle of friends.
Their “special brand of excitement” usually meant something off the laundry list of crazy antics they orchestrated in the old days.
JC and Steve smiled at the possibilities behind his suggestion, but Justin was too busy glaring at Joey.
“What the fuck is that?” He blurted out, jerking his chine towards Joey’s hook up.
“What?” Justin just stared him down before he walked away knocking his shoulder into his.
Joey turned to JC and asked. “Can you believe that shit? What was I supposed to do “ tell Elli to stay the fuck away from her so he could keep on playing Kik?” He huffed. “I mean does he seriously expect her to just sit around, being alone and waiting for him for the rest of her life?”
JC shook his head pitifully, wondering the same thing about his idiotic friend.
Still fired up, Justin stalked over to a secluding and deserted spot on the terrace where he could be alone to stew and keep Kiki and that piece of shit breathing all over her in his eye line. He took note of every exchange between them “ the passing looks, smiles, laughter, and touches that were luckily casual, but still capable of keeping him hot. He hated this, hated seeing someone else in his place with his girl. If only Kiki would listen to him and if Cameron hadn’t gone off to wherever the hell she was shooting a new movie she hadn’t told him about, then he would be over there with Kiki at this exact moment. Instead it seemed like all the odds were stacked against him when all he was asking for was to be with the woman he was in love with. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take.
“Hey man you okay?” JC asked once he found him. No matter how stupid he thought he was being, he knew his buddy was tripping, the clenching of his jaw said it all. “Look man, if you really want to be with Kiki then what the hell are you doing over here pouting? The Justin I know is a spoiled ass brat who gets what he wants, when he wants it and doesn’t let anything stop him.” Justin chuckled at his typically accurate description. “So come on, none of the girls will let us play strip poker, but we agreed on playing Family Feud.” Justin aimed a dubious look at him. “We’re playing it drunk. It can’t get any better than that.” They both laughed. “And who knows, that opportunity to get what you want might just pop up.” JC did have a point. When it came to the things he wanted in his life, he was never a quitter so Justin got up, set on following him into the house where everyone had relocated, but JC stopped him. “Oh and whatever you got planned for getting back with Kiki, make sure it includes cleaning up whatever it is you got with Cameron. You understand?” It was more than just advice, it was a warning from a friend who saw Kiki as a sister and Justin read him loud and clear.
“Don’t worry. I’m handling it.” He patted JC’s back assuringly and they went inside to the den.
They came in the room to see battle lines had already been drawn. One on side of the parallel sofas were the girls: Tami, Maya, Kiki, Marissa and Bianca. On the opposing side was: Joey, Elli, Derek, and Trace. Sage stood in the middle of the sofas acting as PS operator and game referee. Everyone else was sitting on the side line ready to serve as alternates. They were almost ready to throw down except…..
“Ooh here they are. We need one more person on the guys’ team. Which one of you wants to play?” Tami asked upon their arrival.
Justin put up his hands in declination, “its all you C,” and pushed his friends ahead while he strolled over to the bar for a new drink.
“Alright then both teams are equal now.” Sage announced. “We got the Spice Girls-”
A loud cackle and hand slap came from Joey among the room’s collective laughter with the exception of the ladies in question who were throwing around nasty glares.
“Versus-“ Sage began again, but his seething girlfriend beat him to it.
“*N Suck!”
It got the desired reaction: “oh”s from the audience, and sneers and middle fingers from Joey, JC and Justin.
Wanting to rile them up even more, Kiki tacked on. “FYI, Elli is the N and the rest of you Suck.”
“Balls.” Bianca contributed and all the girls roared with taunts and jest as did the rest of the room.
“You know what fuck ya’ll! Let’s get this game started so we can whoop your asses.” Derek growled.
The girls were in total agreement so Sage fired up the PS and it was on…….
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By the time they got to the second round, the guys were losing, but they were up at bat and had a chance to take the lead as long as they didn’t get another strike.
The question, “Name something you might find in a woman’s medicine cabinet?” got plenty of unlikely, yet entertaining answers from the surrounding crowd, but it was JC’s turn and he had no idea what the last response could be. Derek was bouncing around in his seat on the other side of Elli, trying to get his attention because he knew he had the answer. But Maya was right on him.
“Oh hell no Derek “ tú pinche tramposo. You’re gonna lose fair and square so everyone can watch you throw a fit like the little cry baby, punk puta you are.”
As a whole, the room understood at least half of what she said and was cracking up. On the other hand, little sister and game or not, Derek was ready to, but refrained from knocking her ass out.
Teasing her, Elli said. “Wow Ms. Maya, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Maya was about to tell him where to go, but then she realized what he said was on in English. It surprised her and her sister, and elated Joey.
“Ooh we got a translator on our side now.”
“What the fuck?” Trace outraged gesturing at himself.
“Dude you can barely understand like every other word they say.” JC said while patting his back sympathetically.
“Habla Español?” Kiki cutely asked Elli.
“Hago ciertamente hermoso.” He flirted back with a wink. “’I learned while studying abroad in Spain for a year.”
“Oh my God where? My grandparents were from Madrid.”
“That’s where I lived with my host family.”
“Ugh, lucky you. We only visited a few times over the summer when I was younger and it was never long enough. Isn’t it an absolutely beautiful city?”
“Oh Yeah. I remember I used to go to Puerta-“
“Excuse me. We’re playing a game here and I’m trying to fuckin’ think.” JC cut in, in a huff.
“We know babe, we can smell the smoke.” Eva teased.
He turned around, squinting his eyes at her in disdain. She simply beamed and it triggered something in his head. His eyes popped open and a Cheshire cat grin broke out in his face.
“I got it!” He whirled around and furiously typed in his answer.
“Oh hell yeah! In yo face!” Derek cheered with the guys when they saw his response while the girls groaned, knowing they just lost.
The animated host verified the answer and the last tile on the board flipped over.
All the guys were out of their seats cheering “ Joey and Derek climbed over the coffee table to the girls’ side to do a taunting victory dance in their faces. The props JC was getting from his teammates, Justin, and a bunch of other guys watching made you think he just won the damn Super Bowl or something. The girls were so over it especially Joey and Derek’s little dance so Tami did the job of shutting at least her boyfriend up by shoving him in the stomach with her foot. He stumbled and splayed back on the sofa. Now the girls were cheering Tami on, but Sage called a “personal foul” and took points off their score. They growled and snapped at him, but Marissa amended.
“It doesn’t matter. We’ll catch up next round and even if we don’t, his loser ass is on the take so we’ll be the real winners anyway.”
“Yeah!” The girls chanted menacingly at Sage.
“Hold up, hold up. No attacking the referee. That was a blatant viol-“
“Oh shut the fuck up Sage and start the next damn round.” Maya barked.
He gave her a look as if he was going to tack on another foul, but she checked him with a quirked eyebrow that promised harsh retribution.
“Ok on to the next round.” He said and started fiddling with the console.
“Pussy.” Joey mumbled, but he heard him.
“Foul.” The girls cheered. “Now you’re both down 10 points.” He winked at his girlfriend and she blew him a kiss.
The guys were in an uproar, but he shrugged it off. “Don’t hate cause I’m gonna get laid tonight and the rest of you motherfuckers ain’t gettin’ shit. Now come on time to face off.”
It was Kiki and Elli’s turn to go head to head, and it looked like they were ready to either crack up laughing or tackle each other over the table as they stared one another down.
The video game asked the question and Elli chimed in first. He got the top answer and the guys decided to play. Halfway down their line, Kiki called a time out.
“Eva or Rhea, come take my spot.” She said while wiggling in her seat.
“Oh hell no. With all that fuckin’ lip you’ve been giving us, you’re gonna sit your ass right there and be set.” Joey demanded.
“Oh really? Then that means I have your permission to piss on your couch cause that’s what’s going to happen if I don’t go now.”
“Eva, Rhea one of you get over here now.”
“That’s what I thought.” Kiki quickly climbed out of her seat, Rhea took her place and she scurried out of the room to the upstairs bathroom.
Spectating the whole game, in particular Kiki, Justin was in his glory just watching her having a good time. The way her face and eyes lit up when something funny was said or done made her look so damn beautiful and as always the sass she was giving turned him on.
The only problem was her and Elli flirting the whole time, their little chat about Spain was just lovely. She wasn’t that fuckin’ excited when I went there. Then there was the way they were all up in each other’s faces. It may have been a good half a foot of space between them, but it was still too close for his comfort. He sat behind them at the bar on edge and too ready to punch the prick in the back of his fucking head if he crossed the line and made a pass at Kiki. He had no problem fighting for what was his, but he really didn’t want to ruin the party so he was happy when nothing happened. But that moment struck a cord inside him and he realized that he had to step up his game. Kiki was tired of him and his shit and ready to leave him behind. He couldn’t let that happen, he couldn’t lose her again. If tonight was any indication he knew he had to act fast because he had competition waiting in the wings ready to give Kiki want she needed. And he would never accept that anybody other than him was what she needed. He had to make some moves now.
While he was planning out his next step, one dropped right into his lap. Kiki had slipped up and left the room. Alone. Discretely, which wasn’t hard since everyone was too caught up in the game to notice him leaving, and at a distance he followed her to the second floor.
None the wiser to her stalker lurking down the hall, Kiki finished using the bathroom and headed back down to the party. She was just walking past one of the guest rooms when the door opened and she was yanked inside. A scream of fright bubbled up in her throat, but it was cut off when in a flash, her back hit the closed door and a pair of warm lips were firmly press against hers. Initially survival instincts started kicking in and she was ready to fight, but once the kiss began, she quickly recognized who they belonged to and it changed her choice of attack.
“Ow! Fuck!” Justin yelled and launched himself away from her, tucking his abused lip into his mouth. “You fuckin’ bit me!”
“Yeah well that’s what happens when you don’t keep your lips to yourself.” She tsked with a wicked gleam in her eyes before her face turned thunderous and she exclaimed. “What the hell do you think you were doing?”
“I just wanted to talk to you.”
She snorted, “that was not talking,” and wiped away her smeared gloss.
“Yeah, but it was still good huh?” He grinned and tried to do the honors.
She smacked his hand away before he could touch her and looked at him unbelievably. “Look I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m not game and don’t ever grab me like that again. Now move.” She pushed at his chest, but he didn’t budge, anger over her rejection radiating off of him.
“No.” He said forcefully, but Kiki was used to that response now-a-days so she sighed and resounded to push harder to get herself out of there.
Her efforts failed and Justin countered, pushing her back into the door firmly and then anchoring his hands on either side of her body, caging her in.
“You are not going back down to that party.” He ordered in a low throaty growl, his eyes dark and clouded with fury and determination.
His controlling attitude skyrocketed her anger and up on her tip toes, Kiki boomed directly in his face. “Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t tell me what to do. You don’t fuckin’ own me.”
He chuckled darkly. “Oh I beg to differ.”
Her eyes seemed to glow with rage now and she continued to fume. “I don’t care what the hell your fucked up mind thinks, all I know is that you better let me go right now!”
He swooped in to loom menacingly over her, bring there faces less than an inch of each other. “Why so you can go back downstairs to that fuckin’ pussy and continue to crawl all over him like a fuckin’ bitch in heat.” He ranted.
Before either of them knew it, Kiki’s hand flew out and she slapped him across the face. She gasped, completely shock, mortified that she had done that and a little scared, especially since he seemed to have froze. His face was still turned away from her and the only movement he made was the slide of his tongue inside his stinging cheek. She could only image how mad he was and despite what he had said, she never meant to hit him. She was just about to apologize when he finally turned back to face her and instead of finding him angry, he was actually smiling and then he laughed. Kiki got this uneasy feeling she was about to wish he was angry.
Stooping down to stand eye to eye with her, Justin rubbed his tinted face and breathed huskily. “My Baby Doll’s got claws. I like it.”
The next second Kiki was gasping as Justin grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her off the ground, wedging his body in between her legs. Her quick intake of air turned to a moan when he slammed her back into the door and she wasn’t sure if it was caused by pain or excitement from the dark lust now in his eyes.
Excitement won over when he forcefully buried his face into the crook of her neck and bit into her skin.
“Ah.” She keened and he smiled inside, continuing to kiss and suck at her.
Kiki had no idea what to do, Justin was working his magic and her mind was turning to mush yet again. This was not what was supposed to happen, but instead of fighting it, she could do no more than hold on while she cursed herself for letting him break her down again. She was so weak and helpless when it came to this man.
At first Justin pretty much had free reign of her body until she felt the zipper on the back of her dress being pulled down and then the front droop lowly giving him access to more skin.
She started freaking out at the prospect of where things were headed and her mind went into a bit of a panic mode.
No, not again. This isn’t supposed to be happening. I should stop this….As soon as-…Mmmm……Okay….Now.
“Justin we can’t.” If that was what she truly wanted then she probably should have said it with more conviction and without the moaning. Not to mention she should be pushing him away instead of tightening her grip on his shoulders when she felt his hands run up her thighs and under her dress until his fingers were wrapped around the sides of her thong.
Justin paused, giving her time to stop him, but Kiki made no move to say or do anything to hold him off and he let loose.
The sound of ripping fabric, a belt buckle unlatching, another zipper opening and then clothing falling to the floor seemed to echo through the room.
Pulling out from his burrow in her neck, Justin quickly latched on to her lips dragging Kiki under a wave of pleasure. It was always in his kiss where all at once she got so lost in bliss and had moments of clarity.
This time she found acceptance in wanting him at all cost, and she gave in, body, soul and for once, mind. She couldn’t fathom a single reason to want this to stop: not her conscience, her fears, hurt, not even Cameron. She and Justin were inevitable, destine maybe and it felt too good to resist. She felt so alive whenever she was in his hands. His dominance, the way he took control of her - it brought upon an almost primal need to submit to him so she let the urge take over. And when she felt him nudging at her wet entrance, she bucked her hips silently begging for him to take her. But he held back and suddenly broke the kiss, leaving her breathless and unfulfilled.
“I thought you wanted me to stop.” He mocked her and holding her hips so she couldn’t move, he started dipping in and out of her teasingly. Kiki whimpered and shook her head adamantly in reply, close to actually bagging him for it. “No?” Justin clarified with arrogant laughter in his voice. “Then what do you want baby? You want me to fuck you? Huh?” She nodded vigorously. “Say it. I wanna hear you say it.”
Growling in frustration, Kiki’s head fell back against the door and Justin took full advantage, licking up her throat until he reached her ear lobe and bit down. With that the only response she could give was a decadent mewl. It was good enough for him and he finally gave her what she wanted, slamming into her to the hilt.
They both let out loud groans from the intense sensation as they plunged into one another.
For Kiki there was something so hot and thrilling about being taken against the wall like this, by the man she wanted so badly. She needed so much more from him and started buck her hips, tempting him to give it to her. Justin didn’t let her down and picked up a hard pace for his thrusts, hitting her spot with every stroke and practically slamming her in the door.
It did take long for her orgasm to hit her like a sledgehammer and the ecstasy kept rolling through her as he slid in and out of her, seeking his own powerful release. Kiki felt the exact moment when his hit, and through her own post orgasmic haze she managed to locked eyes with him as he came inside of her. All that needed to be said between them was pasted along in that moment.
The look on Justin’s face almost sent Kiki into shock. His eyes were blurred with unshed tears and he looked so vulnerable and desperate. She never thought he could ever look so needy, it scared her.
“Justin?” She breathed, tenderly stroking his face.
He looked down, shaking his head, trying to will the tears away. Clearing his throat, he lifted his head back up to face her.
“I couldn’t stand seeing you tonight and not be with you. I had to watch that dude all over you and it killed me. I don’t want you with anyone but me, you’re mine.” He whined. No matter if he sounded like a brat who just had his favorite toy taken away, it still touched a part of Kiki.
“We were just talking.” She tried to explain, but it came out wrong and she immediately wanted to take that back. So what if he was pouting, she didn’t have to explain herself to him. “God! It’s none of your business anyway.”
Letting out a harsh sigh, he finally set her back on her feet, but refused the release her. Pressing their bodies together, he used the dip between her neck and shoulder to cradle his forehead. “Don’t do this to me Kiki please. I can’t stop thinking about you. I need you. I need you so fuckin’ bad.” Pushing back, he cupped her face and begged. “Please, please don’t leave me.” He banded his arms around her and buried his face back into her neck, clinging to her.
Ok this was more than one of his usual tantrums. He was holding onto her so tightly as if she was going to disappear any minute. Kiki was starting to believe that this wasn’t just a case of him trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maybe he was just stuck in a difficult situation and was trying to hold on to her until he straightened it all out. That thought only put Kiki into a real state of conflict.
She wasn’t sure anymore if his motives were so selfish and greedy after all. Maybe he really was trying to end his relationship with Cameron for them. She was so confused now and didn’t know what to believe. What he was saying and doing made no sense, especially now with the way he was holding on to her like this. She didn’t know what to think anymore.
Kiki was thrown through a loop once more when Justin released her. He didn’t look so frantic anymore, but there was still an edge of desperation in his eyes when he spoke. “I know I keep screwing up, but you have to believe me when I say I want to be with you. And I love you, I love you so damn much Kiki.” He declared earnestly.
This was it, she could refuse to believe him, reject his heartfelt words and walk away for good. But she couldn’t. If she did it would be a lie. To both of them. She was tired of lying and denying what she felt and wanted. In her heart of hearts, she wanted to take a chance, one last chance to make it work with the man she was still very much in love with. There was a risk, but love always came with a risk and if she didn’t take it, she’d always wonder “what if”. She didn’t want to live like that so she really only had one option.
She cautiously nodded her answer. As much as she was willing to give him another chance she was still scared. The only thing she was secure in was, “I love you too.”
For a brief moment Justin’s face sagged in relief before the biggest smile spread across it. He grabbed her arms, looped them around his shoulders and she stepped closer, falling right into his deep kiss.
Their lips separated, but they continued to hold each other close for a few more minutes until Kiki let go first.
“Um.” She cleared her throat of all the emotions still inside of her and brushed her hair out of her face. “We probably should go back to the party.”
Without protest, Justin backed away from her. He knew this was all a lot for her to take. He’d give her plenty of space to process, but that’s all he was willing to give. He wasn’t about to let her get too far away from him again.
Stroking her cheek, he made clear. “We still have more to talk about Baby Doll.”
“I know.” She leaned up and kissed him reassuringly. “And we will, but no more tonight.”
He agreed and after getting themselves straight again, they stealthily returned to the party undetected. Physically they were back among their friends, but their minds were elsewhere, especially Kiki’s.
Even if she had resigned herself to maintaining a pseudo relationship with Justin and waiting until they could start over, she still felt lost. There were too many questions hanging in the air.
She believed he felt like he really wanted and needed her, but as fickle as he could be, those feelings could change at any moment and he could decide to stay with Cameron. Or if he did leave her and they tried for a real relationship, they could fall flat on their faces anyway. It would all be for nothing. Kiki didn’t know which path to have faith in and follow.
One thing she was positive about right now as she quietly sat among her girlfriends, was that the excitement of this party had completely fizzled out. She wasn’t in the mood to go out on the deck and dance nor did she care for idle chit chat with anyone, least of all Elli. Him and his persistence was getting on her last nerve all of a sudden. She was beyond ready to go home and she did just that.
After making her leave to everyone and quickly taking Elli’s useless number so he’d get off her back “ she was pretty sure she would never use it “ she quietly slipped out of the house, hoping Justin wouldn’t see her.
Unfortunately her escape wasn’t so smooth and he most definitely saw her sneak out. He knew that after their “encounter” upstairs and the admissions they made, she’d be flustered and confused so he kept a close eye on her. When he saw her leave, he quickly excused himself from a conversation with Trace and Sage and followed after her.
He got out on the front porch and spotted her walking to her car. “Kik! Kik wait up!”
Kiki winced and stopped in her tracks when she heard his call. She should have known she couldn’t get away without him knowing. Ignoring him and running the rest of the short distance to her car was an option, but that would be unfair and childish. Stupid as well because he’d just follow her anyway until he got to say his piece. So staying put, she turned around and faced him.
“Where are you going?” He asked slightly out of breath.
“Home,” was her simple response.
“Nah. Come on stay. Or I’ll come with you.”
Snorting at his impossible offer, she said blankly. “No. I need to be alone right now.” She was so tired, so emotionally drained by him, them, everything.
He could see that and worried that she would try to push him away because of it, he asserted. “I promise you I am gonna fix this baby. I swear to you I will end it.”
“Yeah. You know Justin I’ll believe it when I see it.” That was the truth of how she really felt. She wanted to believe, but she couldn’t until she had a real reason to.
“I will tell her. Just give me some time.”
“Mmhmm. You’ve said that before, but you didn’t do it.”
“I know, but she left town before I could. I don’t want to tell her over the phone. I mean would you like to be dumped over the phone?”
“I didn’t like having any of the things we are doing to Cameron done to me.” She stressed, reminding him that she knew first hand what it felt like being lied to and cheated on by him.
“I’m trying to do what’s right this time baby, its not going to be a quick fix though.” She had to understand that he felt just as frustrated and trapped by this situation. He could only do so much. “I just need to know that you’ll wait for me. Please don’t give up on me.” He begged and she had to turn away from his pleading eyes. “As soon as Cam comes back, it’s over. I swear that to you.”
Everything was so mixed up and Kiki couldn’t handle anymore tonight. All she could say was, “I don’t know,” and shake her head in dismay. “I just don’t right now.” Justin deflated, but then she gave him a little bit of hope. “All I know is that I do love you Justin.” She freely admitted and it lightened his heart a little, putting a small smile on his face. “I’ll see you later okay?”
He nodded, letting her go this time. He wished she would say more, but he was already asking so much of her. At least she hadn’t said goodbye.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Despite his best intentions, once again Justin was finding it hard to deliver on the promises he made to Kiki. He had almost two months before his album dropped and he had a ton of PR work to do “ the talk show and radio circuit, performances that he had to rehearse for. If he was in town he was usually too busy to set aside time for a break up, not to mention Cameron was still out of the country on location. He was at a dead end and Kiki didn’t want to hear any excuses anymore. She had totally cut off all contact and communication with him again. On top of everything else he was dealing with, being away from her was driving him crazy. Lonely and stressed out one night as he sat in his hotel suite in Miami, taking the risk of being rejected, he called her up.
“Hey.” She answered knowingly, having checked the caller ID.
He sighed with relief from her soothing voice. “Hey Baby Doll.”
She could hear his weariness loud and clear and as much as she wanted to ignore it, she couldn’t. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing new “ I’m tired, stressed.” He hesitated. “I miss you.”
Kiki exhaled and moved to stand against the den’s balcony so Cheyenne couldn’t hear their conversation while she played and watched a movie. “Justin don’t go there.”
“I can’t help the way I feel Kik. I know you don’t want anything to do with me until I end it with Cameron. I get that and I’m working on it, but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to wait to be with you again. I just love you so much. I can’t stand not being with you.”
He sounded so drained and depressed that it was overwhelming Kiki and she had to take a seat on the steps. She knew how crazy things were for him at this time and she didn’t have the heart to hang up on him when he needed comfort and to vent. She never could, even if their situation rather than work was the main focus of his unloading.
“I know, but it has to be this way Justin. I want, I deserve a real committed, monogamous relationship and until you can give me that its best if we stay away from each other.”
Out of all that Justin heard one thing and it filling him with happiness. “You know? You don’t like being away from me either?”
“Of course I don’t.” She said honestly. “Who likes being away from the person they love?”
A big ass smile came over his face and he couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Man I really want to see you. If I can make it home for the day tomorrow will you come and see me?.....Please?”
Kiki was silent for a moment, weighing the pros and cons, but in the end, she softly agreed. “Ok.”
His spirits totally lifted at that and he told her he’d call when he was on his way to his place from the airport so they could meet up.
“Alright.” She answered, feeling a sense of restless peace. After the party, she still felt bad about her actions setting someone up for heartache, but she did some thinking and realized the situation was what it was. She and Justin loved each other even though he was in another relationship and they still wanted to be with each other. She had to admit that no matter how desperate and weak she thought it was, she needed some sort of contact with him. She could handle taking what she could get for a little bit longer.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Well at least you didn’t try to leave the house this time. I still didn’t like waking up without you next to me.” Justin walked up behind Kiki as she stood at the coffee maker waiting for it to finish brewing. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hummed as he buried his face into his favorite spot, her neck, kissing her.
She breathed deeply, “sorry,” picking up the filled pot and pouring herself a cup.
He let her go when she tapped his hands so she could dress her coffee, but he knew the space she asked for had to do with something else. “What’s wrong?”
Dropping a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and creamer in her cup, she laughed hollowly. “What do you think?”
Exasperated by her again, he leaned back against the island counter and asked. “Are we gonna go through this every time we see each other?”
“No we’re not actually because this is it Justin.” Realizing what she was doing, making herself right at home, she rushed over to the sink and dumped her coffee. Suddenly she felt like she was intruding on someone else’s space.
“Technically you have.” Her conscience reminded her. “You did just sleep with someone else’s boyfriend….For like the fifth time now is it?”
Her eyes clinch shut when a twinge of guilt ran through her. It was nothing new that she was feeling for weeks now, but the feeling had definitely changed into something sharper and regarding a whole new person. This affair had finally gone too far.
“Let me guess “ I can’t believe we just slept together again. We shouldn’t be doing this. We have to end it.” He jokingly mocked her with a smirk curling his lips.
Kiki did not find him the least bit funny and she sneered. “It’s not funny that I don’t know whether I’m coming or going anymore because of this whole situation. I’m saying one thing and doing another, but at least I’m trying to resolve things. You’re not doing shit about the two relationships you have going on.”
The jab was well place and Justin’s smirk disappeared. “I have been trying, but how the hell can I end a relationship when the other person involved is in another fuckin’ country.” His nostrils flared as he barked at her.
“Oh please Justin. She’s in fuckin’ Vancouver. You’ve gotten on a plane and flew to Vegas for less.”
“Listen Kiki-“
“Save it because at this point it’s so much more than hurting Cameron or ourselves. We’ve crossed the line and now we’re affecting our daughter.”
“What are you talking about? Cheyenne’s fine.”
“Oh really? Justin you’ve come home five times now, how many of those time have you gone and seen her? Every time you call it’s for me and I drop everything, including her. Then She gets shipped off to one of our parents and we can come back here and get a piece of ass.” He was silent knowing she was right. They had been neglecting their daughter so they could sneak around behind everyone’s back. “We’ve gone too far. I can’t have this effecting Cheyenne and honestly, I’m losing patience. I think instead of screwing me, you should be using your free time to go see Cameron. That’s unless you really don’t want to break it off with her.” She smiled condescendingly at him and he glared in contempt over her accusation. Kiki ignored it. “But you know right about now, I don’t even care what you plan on doing or when. I have more important thins to worry about.”
She moved over to the breakfast bar where her bag was sitting in a stool and hooked it over her shoulder. Walking to stand in front of Justin, she cupped his jaw. “You want me Justin, then you know what you have to do to get me. But I’ve been waiting for you for so long. I can’t wait forever.” She pulled his face down for a kiss and walked away.
She wanted to believe him, but now he was taking too long and making too many excuses. She couldn’t waste away her life waiting and she definitely wasn’t going to neglect her child for another moment over this or anything else for that matter.
But time was running for Justin and for them. He either did what he said he would or she was gone once and for all.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
The last thing in the world Justin ever wanted to do was hurt or neglect Cheyenne again so he made sure to spend whatever days he had off with her from that point on. He and Kiki had to be put on the backburner for the time being, but they were never far from each other’s minds. They did manage to spend some time together, as a threesome like they used to, without the uncomfortable tension.
Even if Justin wanted more, especially from Kiki, the time he spent with his girls were priceless, however short lived. It wasn’t long before he was off to Europe to do a handful of club shows to build up some hype for the album overseas.
The trip proved to be beneficial for him in a lot more ways than he thought. At least that was his train of thought as he got off the plane and Lonnie drove him straight to Kiki’s. He couldn’t wait to tell her the news.
“Hey baby.” He exclaimed, his mood on high when he saw her standing in the open doorway. Filled with excitement and on an impulse, he leaned in to kiss her, but she jerked away from him. Thinking he stepped out of bounds, he started to apologize, but she stormed away furiously. Something other than his forwardness had her pissed off.
“What’s wrong babe?” He asked and closed the door behind him as he followed her into the living room. He watched her approach the center table and pick up something that was promptly flung at him.
“I promise you I am gonna fix this baby. I swear to you I will end it. Bullshit!” She raged as she thrust a finger at the magazine now in his hands. “God I’m so fuckin’ stupid.” She has compromised herself and her dignity for shit.
Taking a look at it, Justin groaned as he read the headline.
Is It Finally Wedding Bells for Justin and Cameron?
Pictures inside of the could-be future bride ring shopping!
“This is not what you think it is baby. You know that’s nothing but lies.” He walked towards her and tossed the magazine back on the coffee table. “Let me explain.”
“No let me tell you what I think, what I’ve figured out.” A calm had come over her and Justin knew she was about to go off. “Why should you bother ending your relationship with Cameron when you get to fuck the both of us?” He could feel the heat rising inside of him at the claim against him she was trying to make. How could she even think he would degrade her like that? “You know what you’re problem is Justin?”
“No why don’t you tell me Kiki. You seemed to think you know every fuckin’ thing about me.” He seethed. She was passing judgment when she didn’t even know what the fuck was going on.
She ignored his snarky remake because she did have his dime. “You can’t stand to be alone. You always have to be with someone. We broke up and not long after, you and Cameron are the next ‘it’ couple. Now you want to be with me again yet you’re still with her to fall back on just in case we don’t work out for the second time.” Even if she was willing to let him reply, which she wasn’t, there was no point because she was absolutely right and the fact that he knew it was written all over his face. “You’re string her along while you’re using me until you figure out what you want. You’re play games Justin and I’m sick of it.”
Fed up with all the blaming being heaped on him, he decided to stop playing nice and chuckled sardonically. “You know I love this. You’re standing here complaining that I’ve been playing you. What about you though?” He pointed at her with a rather cruel glare in his eyes. “You haven’t had a problem spreading your legs for me every time. What does that make you Kiki?”
Her eyes widened when his implication hit and an angry fire rushed over her. “Get out! You get the fuck out of my house!”
“Gladly.” He didn’t have to put up with this bullshit. He was finally here to set things right for them and she had shitted on it. Whatever. He was gone and slammed the door behind him.
Mad beyond reason, Kiki paced the front room feeling the need to hit something, preferably him. Instead she picked up a throw pillow and aiming at the closed door, used it for its namesake. “Bastard!” She screamed.
Never had she been this overwhelmed by anger and she sat down on the back of the sofa chair to calm her racing heart. She covered her face with her hands and her mind started running through this entire situation that lead to this nasty point.
Why couldn’t he just stop? Stop lying, manipulating and hurting her.
Why couldn’t she make it all stop and finally leave him behind?
