"Let's talk about the perks of being without your husband for an entire month, shall we?" Danielle's excited tone makes me want to smile, which I do. I think she actually enjoys when my husband leaves because thats probably when we spend the most time together and I have to admit that that probably is the only thing that is an upside to Parker leaving me.
I cuddle my satin blue pillow between my legs as I push my body against the headboard of my bed, my eyes watching my best friend before me as she paces around the room, smiles and all. "I'm listening." I say, softly.
She leans against my bedpost, "Okay, first, you and me?" She giggles, "We're going to be spending every waking hour together 'til that boring husband of yours gets back-"
I frown. "Hey!" Her brows raise in question. "He's not boring," She snorts and I roll my eyes, chuckling. "Um, okay, maybe he is just a little bit."
Danielle waves me off. "Girl, please, I have more fun talking to Precious."
I snort. "Precious is a dog."
My best friend raises her arms up in the air in conclusion. "And thats my point." She sits down on my comforter and places her perfectly manicured hands in her lap, "Then we're going to get fucking wasted every night and hit the club scene," She does a little booty dance on my bed and I giggle softly, "and just shake our asses like there is no tomorrow!"
While that sounds appealing, I know I will never do it - I don't drink alcohol without the presence of Parker and I never really like the idea of going to clubs. Whats the purpose? I see none. Clubbing is just an excuse people use to rub their sweaty bodies against strangers without being called a slut, whore, tramp, and everything else in the book. I know Danielle really isn't into the clubbing aspect either, she's probably just trying to spice up our boring activities of playing who can stare at the other person the longest without blinking game.
Even in high school, we secluded ourselves from others - I know I only did this because I was too enraptured with spending my days and nights with Parker that I didn't have time to focus or talk to anyone else that wasn't him or my best friend but I never truly understood why she never associated with anyone but me; she had enough boys lined up outside her door to have her pick if she wanted but I knew that she really wasn't trying to be the object of anyone's affection. I think that after seeing the kind of relationshop Parker and I have, she just decided that falling in love wasn't for her, so she distanced herself from the opposite sex.
And she remains this way - she has her occasional late night "booty call" (and because of this, consquences has ensued for her that she wasn't exactly ready for) as she calls it from time to time but she isn't looking for anything serious and I sometimes feel somewhat guilty for her hesitancy to explore the greatness that is love. I'll admit that my version of love might be pretty weird but its still love, its still real and its been lasting for more than a decade now, so I must be doing something right.
"Sure we are." I mumble, playfully.
Danielle shrugs her shoulders helplessly, glancing at a hanging picture of Parker and I on our wedding day which is placed on the wall, she sighs. "We need to spice up our lifestyle cause its making us seem like we're in our sixties when we're four generations younger." Her brown eyes dance with mischief, "We should get tattoos and some piercings."
I scrunch my nose in disgust. Parker had to convince me for weeks to get his initials inked onto the inside of my wrist permanently and even now, looking down at the P.A., I cringe. Tattoos are so permanent, so final, and it just made it even more apparent that Parker and I would never be apart from one another. I should be happy about that, right? "I don't think so, Dani."
She groans with frustration. She's trying to come up with any idea. "Um...well what about tomorrow we go out and get the whole spa treatment?"
I smile. I like that idea. "Wish I could." I say, slowly and I watch in amusement as she widens her eyes and I know she now just thinks I'm trying to get out of spending any time with her. "I just have to be here to show the new gardener around...after that, I'm free."
She purses her lips together. "Why do you need a gardener? I thought you like doing that kind of shit."
I frown. "I do, but Parker thinks its best if I have some extra help while he's gone so...I-"
Danielle rolls her eyes. "So, you just bent over and let him have his way." She's stating this.
Heat rushes to my cheeks and I turn my head away from hers, embarrassed. "It gives us more time to hang out anyway."
She smirks. "And what we're gonna do, huh? You don't like to do anything unless Parker is around which I think is fucking stupid cause you have no idea what he's doing while he's flying 'cross the country."
I want to speak up now. I want to defend my man. But I can't. She's right. I hate to admit it, but she is. I don't know exactly what he's doing right now or if he's even thinking of me but thats the thing about being married - you just have to have faith in your partner. And I do. I have had faith for all of the seven years that we've been married and I will continue to trust him because I know he will never steer me wrong, I know, in my heart, he will never leave or desert me. He will be there for me until there is nothing left for him to give and for this, I give him my loyalty.
I need to switch the conversation up and quickly or we're going to be headed into the wrong direction of things. "Um, Chris asked about you, again, today."
She bites onto my bait. "Chris needs to grow a fucking self-esteem and maybe he won't have erection issues." She mutters, upset.
I squint my eyes. "I think he really likes you, Dani."
She gives me the same expression that I give her. "And I think you need to get divorced but we don't always get what we want, do we?" She replies, smugly.
I hate when she gets upset with me for loving my husband, for supporting my husband - maybe if she had someone in her life, someone that wasn't some nightly fuck, she'd understand my devotion. I move the pillow aside and I stand from my bed, stretching my arms over my head, I sigh. "Lets not talk about Parker, all right? Please?" I plead with her . I don't like to fight with her, or anyone, for that matter.
She shrugs her shoulders and folds her arms in front of her plumped chest, her wide brown eyes staring at me blankly. "I'll shut up about fat ass Parker Adams, but you need to understand this - I never ask you for anything, Kenny, and the only thing I'm asking from you now is just to have fun with your best friend for a couple of weeks. You can be married and have fun, too - its possible."
I smirk. My eyes travel to the very small but obvious bulge in her belly. "But obviously, you can't do any of those things you named." She looks clueless as to why and I grin. "You're pregnant, you idiot."
Danielle's hands travel to her belly and the features on her face soften suddenly; its still creepy to think that Dani is going to be a mother in about five months - I think she purposely tries to forget that she is with child because she doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions. But see thats what happens to people who find sex their solitude for happiness - Danielle vowed never to love a man but yet, here she is, carrying a man's child who she's not quite sure who could be the father. In the back of her mind, I know there is hesitation, I know she has doubts and in the back of my mind, I envy her.
So many nights I pleaded with Parker; he could still go off and sell our crops, I could just take care of our children while he was away but he wouldn't relent. It hurts every now and then when I look at Danielle, someone who never in a million years wanted to become a mother, and me, someone who has been relying on pregnancy to strengthen my marriage, and I realize how really messed up this world is. I should be happy for her, I mean, I am, but still...I need a child more than she does. I need someone to keep me company when Parker is away. I need someone to love.
She licks her lips. "Bummer, right?" I know that she's playing but I still see a hint of sadness in those hazel eyes of hers. This isn't what she expected for herself, this isn't what she signed up for. "But we can still do a lot of other shit...like shop, shop and you know what else? Shop."
My eyes won't leave her belly. "You think Chris could be the fa-"
She becomes stern. "No." Her voice is rough, hard.
Topics of who her potential baby's father could be leaves her angry and distressed - I really didn't think my best friend slept with so many people in so little time that she wouldn't even have the slightest clue as to who fathered her child. It only shows you how much you know about a person.
I know its best to once again change the subject. Thats the thing about Danielle - unlike me, she is very emotional. She doesn't hide how she feels from anyone and sometimes I wish I could be like her, be so fearless, be so humane...just be a woman. But when you marry someone, you sacrifice a part of yourself that you never thought you would lose in the first place.
"I think you're losing your mind." I whisper in a shaky voice to my best friend beside me as she quickly pops open a can of Bud Light and hands it to me, grinning. I shake my head automatically, "Ma will kill me if she saw me drinking, you know this, Dani." But I don't hand the beer can back to her, instead I sip on the contents, scrunching my face up in disgust as the liquid burns down my throat and leaves my chest aching.
God, I really do hate beer.
Danielle is too enraptured with drinking her own can of alcohol that she doesn't respond to my anxiety, in fact, she moves to my bedroom door, locks it and sits on my white, plushed carpet, her brown eyes dance. "I think you're the one who's losing their mind," She says this low, as if my mother might standing right outside my door, listening. "I can't believe you fucking said yes to Parker's fat ass!"
I burp, loudly and a giggle escapes my lips as I finish off my can and try to control my burps that are now coming fast and steady. I can never truly drink any alcohol substance without burping like crazy. "He," burp, "loves," burp, "me" I burp, again.
Danielle smirks and shakes her head, licking her full, red lips. "He doesn't know what love is, Kenny." She chuckles, "I mean, lets be real, all right? He loves turkey sandwiches, you know he does - thats love to him, Kenny, not this childish shit that you two are stuck on."
Heat rushes to my cheeks as I always seem to get embarrassed when my friend criticises my boyfriend over his weight; yeah, I'll admit he is on the heavy side but that does nothing for his manhood and his personality - he's just a sweet, cuddly teddy bear to me, a really big teddy bear. Parker Adams has been my boyfriend since the fifth grade and since the moment he offered me half of his turkey sandwich (which is a big deal cause he loves those things) because I had nothing to eat in class, I've been smitten with him; I think as we have gotten older, we both have changed over time.
I've always been short and very bony, clothes hang off of me baring my skeletal skin - and I've been constantly teased for this huge mole I have on my left cheek, but other than that I think I matured into a pretty looking girl, I mean I try to keep my long brown hair done as much as possible and if I don't keep my tan maintained then I look like some pale, ugly little ghost; as far as Parker, he's always been short, too, but I just think his weight caught up with him. He loves junk food, he loves home cooked meals and its very evident by the big bulge in his stomach. He has what they call a "beer belly", but it doesn't phase me in the slightest.
I love him for loving me through my awkward stages of puberty and I love him for seeing me as the most beautiful girl he has ever seen - I know I can do no better than him. And yeah, maybe we are too young to be getting hitched but something within the pits of me believe we will be all right.
I push strands of my hair out of my face and snort. "You just don't understand, Dani - we get each other."
No one understands our love and I have come to the conclusion that they never will - I mean, sometimes I even question what has made us work for so long, or what is the essence of our self proclaimed love for one another but then I realize that I don't owe anyone any explanation for the love I have for someone and the love that he has for me. Something has to be right between us if we've lasted this long. I think people might just be jealous.
Well, maybe everyone except Danielle. She doesn't give a fuck about Parker. She doesn't like him. "Whatever - you're right, I don't understand." She burps now and we both laugh out loud. "All I see between the both of you is food. Thats all you two talk about is food. Thats all you two do is eat because Parker is obsessed with stuffing his face." I roll my eyes. "I just want you to really think 'bout this shit before doing it cause once its done, you can't go back."
I shrug my shoulders. People just don't get the way I feel for this man of mine. "My mind is made up."
Danielle shakes her head, sympathetically, "Well, you've just dug your early grave, kid."
* * *
I hear the music softly blaring upstairs in my guest bedroom and a smile twitches on my lips, happily - everytime Parker leaves, Danielle temporarily moves into my spare room to keep me company and even now, as its early morning and way too early to be blasting songs about performing oral sex I still am overwhelmed with the presence of knowing that I truly am not alone. I have secluded myself to my daily routine -wake up, do my personal hygiene, straighten my bedroom, and then proceed to cook breakfast and make coffee. I'm so used to doing this for Parker everyday that when he's gone, I somehow have to remind myself that Danielle doesn't eat in the morning and that I barely eat at all when my husband isn't around.
So now, I'm stuck in my long, brown cotton house dress and I'm walking aimlessly around the house, looking for anything out of place, anything that looks slightly dusty or rattled - I have a fascination with cleaning when I have nothing else to do, I do this so much that my house barely stays out of top shape. I'm a clean freak. I can't help it. The shutter ring of the house phone brings me back to reality as I move to the white cordless phone sitting on my dining room table, I shake my head, I really don't like having the phone on the table where people eat. But Parker thinks that its for the best and I can do nothing but oblige.
"Adams residence." I answer automatically - many years have taught me that the best way to answer the phone is by just stating our name and let it be known who we are without any hesitation, plus Parker has stated to me that speaking in a childish tone is very unwomanly like.
I hear a sigh of relief on the other end of the line. "You're getting better at answering the phone. Good." I widen my eyes and my grin widens as I am on cloud nine as I listen to my husband's labored breathing.
He seems to always be out of breath. "Parker," I exclaim, my insides jumping with happiness. "Did you make it to Denver, okay? How are you? Did I pack enough turkey sandwiches in your bag for you?" I'm so worried and I don't realize how much I miss him until now, I feel as if I'm going to burst.
"Slow down, Kenzie." My breathing slows down some as I know I have gotten too worked up. Parker doesn't like when I do that. "I didn't call to check in - we can do that another time." I nod my head, sadly. I don't understand what is the big deal with telling me if he's okay. God, sometimes he can be so frustrating and confusing. "I called to see if the new garderner has come by yet."
I roll my eyes. Of course, he doesn't care for me but he'll bend over backwards for anyone he spends money on. I feel so blessed. "No, he hasn't shown up, yet." I mumble, trying my best to disdain my anger.
"Oh, I wonder what is taking him so long? Ms. Harris down at the cornerstore says he's the best in Memphis," He blows air over the line and I find myself distracted now with my dusty bookcase shelves, I need something to divert my attention away Parker. "He'll be coming down there every day to check up on things so I've already paid him in advance, hopefully after this week, he'll be way ahead with the plants and crops that we won't need him for another two weeks, I think?" God, won't he stop talking anytime soon? Can't he tell that I don't give a shit about some young ass garderner?
There is a knock at my front door and I glance to the stairs and silently wonder if Danielle has invited anyone over to the house, which I don't mind if she did, I just wish she would let someone know first - I mean I like things to be spic and span when visitors come to my home. I have an image to uphold. Parker expects that from me. Even now, my husband is still conversating with himself about how much money he has invested in this garderner boy and I tune him out as I open my door and there stands before me a tall, masculine, curly haired, blue-eyed man with a tool belt wrapped around his skinny waist and his cheeky smile is kind of catching me off guard.
I frown. "May I help you?"
His blue eyes dance as he stares back at me, amused. "Sorry I'm late, Ma'am." His southern accent is evident as he holds out his hand to me and I stare his dirty hand, confused. Is he serious? So many germs on that hand has left me nauseous. When I make no attempt to shake his hand, he drops it back down to his side and the smile slowly leaves his face. "I'm guessing you are Mrs. Adams?" I nod my head, cautiously, "I'm the gardener your husband employed - Mr. Timberlake is my name, Ma'am."
I let out a shaky breath. Okay, he looks kind of too...what is the word I'm looking for? "Hot damn, you're fine!" I jump at the voice behind me as Danielle somehow has snuck downstairs and is now standing beside me, well in front of me now as she pushes me to the side, her demeanor changing all too quick. "What's your name?"
He just grins at her and holds out his hand for her to shake, which she does, quickly and I want to roll my eyes. Danielle will flirt with anyone. "Justin, Ma'am. And you are?"
Her laugh is all high and girly and I know for sure that she is in flirting zone. God, I don't need the guy to quit in the next week because my best friend has screwed him over. This isn't going to happen. "Baby, don't call me that - we're all adults here." She drops her hand from his and moves closer to him, her hands finding her belly. "I'm Danielle, its so very nice to meet you."
I smirk. I now remember my husband is still on the line and somehow he hasn't even noticed that I haven't been paying the slightest attention to him. Figures. "Honey, the garderner is here." I interrupt him quickly.
Parker seems relieved. "Oh, good. Put him on the phone, please."
I hand the phone to the man before me and try to visibly shake as his fingertips graze over my skin lightly. God, I hate filthy hands. As he places the phone to his ear and begins to listen intently to my husband's orders, I grab my pregnant friend from his side - she is gawking like she has just seen Orlando Bloom or something.
"What's wrong with you?" I mumble underneath my breath, a few feet away from the garderner.
Danielle motions her hands to Justin and her eyes dance with mischief. "That fine piece of speciman right there is whats wrong with me." She glances to me briefly, studying me. "Are you fucking blind or somthing? He's a wet dream in the making." She licks her lips, slowly, eyeing the lower half of his body in some tight blue jeans. "I'd love it if he plow his hands in my garden...if you know what I mean."
I wince. Too much damn information. "Thats disgusting."
She shrugs her shoulders. "Oh, lighten up." She cocks her head to the side, still studying Justin. I glance at him quickly to try to see what she sees in him and I don't know exactly what it is. I'm probably really not the best person to judge someone by their looks - I'm so used to only having eyes for my husband that I barely even notice another man when he speaks to me. So, now as I stare at this man before me, all I see is the average Joe - he holds nothing in comparison to my husband.
Absolutely nothing.
"He's going to be here everyday for the next month?" She asks me now.
I nod my head slowly and she whistles with pleasure. "Don't you even think about it." I say now, already knowing what she's up to.
A laugh escapes her lips and she shakes her head. "I wouldn't dare." Her hazel eyes gives me doubts as she moves her hips from side to side, estatic. "I just found you something to do while fat ass is away."
I snort. "What?"
She blushes. "Him."
I cough loudly and watch in horror as she makes her way back into the house, but not before slapping Justin on the ass and causing him to yelp. I want to laugh but I'm too embarrassed right now. I notice he is now staring at me quietly as he hands my phone back to me. I'm just now noticing how clear his blue eyes are. I take the phone from his grasp and try to control my nervous breathing. I'm nervous all of the sudden because Danielle's goofy ass - she loves to start trouble.
"I guess I better gon' ahead and do what I'm paid to do." He smiles at me, "I can find things on my own."
He sure smiles a lot. I shake my head. "No, you're going to be here everyday for the next month, so we need to be on good terms." I say, sternly. "I'll show you around." He is continuing to stare at me blankly, still smiling. "Feel free to welcome yourself in the house for something to drink or use the bathroom whenever you like and if you're here when I'm preparing a meal, you are more than welcome to join us for dinner." He nods his head along with everything I'm saying and I fold my arms in front of my flat chest. "I'm Kenzie." I now hold out my hand for him to shake and he does, cautiously, at first but then relaxes some, "Its nice to meet you."
He drops my hand from his and pulls on the tight fitting white shirt he has on. "Nice to meet you too, Ma-I mean, Kenzie."
I force a smile on my face as I step down the porch steps of my home and begin walking to my backyard. "Well, come on," I motion to him and he quickly follows, tools in hand. "Lets get you situated."
* * *
