This was wonderful, it could be a big break for Josh, something that at this point in his life was both wanted and needed more then every before. The male was hardly old in any sense of the word; he was only a few years older then Justin in really. However, local theater and playing for free at local clubs had certainly grown old by this point. Justin was thrilled for his boyfriend, which was until he realized in order for Josh to begin shooting he would be gone for just under three months and thanks to school, he wouldn’t be able to go with him. Josh wouldn’t be able to afford coming home, as it was it was only thanks to his agent that he could go back and forth to auditions … Some tax write off or something he was sure.
The young blond never felt so good, then when he was with Josh. It seemed that none of his problems mattered, sometimes he’d lay awake and watch Josh sleep, and just be thanking God that he had him in his life. Yea, it was lame but Josh was really the first person that ever bothered with Justin … With these thoughts though, often came the thoughts of the things he had done and the event of the past year …
Justin couldn’t bring himself to open the sick part of him up to Josh. His Mother had taken off early on in his life, he really didn’t blame her, his Father was a sick basted who seemed to take pleasure in beating his child when ever and where ever he could for any reason. Besides that, there was the fact that all his creepy friends he use to bring around the house seemed to get a kick out of either doing or watching the same thing.
Somewhere around the age of eight, one of the men, Austin, had realized that Justin was turning into more then just a cute little boy and that was when the touching started. His Father paid no mind, even when Austin would visit his son’s bedroom. After a few years though, Justin was shown a world he did not understand.
No one in the small town seemed able or willing to help the child either. His Father was a well-respected man, one they all held just symphony for, he was after all raising young boy on his own and one knows how hard that can be. He had to be strict and he had to show the boy tough love, God forbidden he ended up anything like his Mother. Justin heard such things all his life and by the time he was old enough to realize that everything else that was happening was wrong … He felt it too late.
The truth was as he got older he his body would react more and more to reach hit he took and each knew toy that was used on him. He liked it … This was something both his Father and Austin were quick to point out when he would cry. If his dick was hard, he must be having fun and anyone he told would say the same. They controlled him through strength but more importantly, they controlled him through fear.
Maybe now one can understand why he had wanted nothing more then to leave that place. The sad thing was, once he was gone, once they could no longer get to him, he was lost. He found out that, he really did enjoy being hurt. He felt sick about himself and dirty because he missed it all, they hurt him but they always took care of him afterwards if that made any sense and at least, his Father wasn’t ignoring him.
Before he had met Josh, he didn’t know what to do with himself. After Josh though, but the pain inside was much less unbearable but then Josh started to have to leave and … The rest was history. It turned out there were people just like him, though at the time and still to this day, he didn’t know wither to be happy or disturbed by the fact.
The week Josh spent home was perfect, the two were able to go out and have fun between Justin’s classes and all and their bed was no longer big and empty. All too soon though …
Sighing some as he leaned his forehead against the glass wall that looked out over the main runway Justin just rolled his eyes. He was happy for Josh, this was of course what he kept telling him but he was also … The lonely feeling in his heart was slowly creeping back. He just didn’t want Josh to be gone again and most of all for such a long time. The two had fought back and forth about the whole issue the night before and Justin knew he was being selfish but he couldn’t help it.
When Josh wasn’t around Justin looked for comfort in other ways, he knew himself well enough by now. He didn’t want to believe he would, but he knew by the next day he’d be in Devin’s basement again. He longed for that type of life everyday and he longed for it to be Josh, not Devin.
As Josh came back from dropping, his bags off he just watched Justin from behind for a few moments. Josh adored Justin, every part of him and he knew the next few months would be hard but they had been apart before, everything would be fine … Though he also had a rather uneasy feeling, the same one he got whenever he had to leave Justin behind. Pushing the thoughts from his mind he reached Justin and hugged him from behind, pressing his body to the teen‘s, he kissed his neck softly and nuzzled against him.
Justin just closed his eyes as he felt Josh’s body heat with his own, he wanted to cry but he wouldn’t. He knew that would just make this harder and he’d already done enough of that type of shit last night. Instead of saying anything, they just remained there for the better part of a half hour, enjoying one another and watching the people and planes out on the runaway.
Finally, it was Josh who broke the silence the two were sharing. “I love you.” He whispered and Justin merely nodded at first, not trusting himself to speak. “Justin …” He started up but didn’t finish as Justin shook his head. “I love you too … I’m just going to miss you is all.” He confused never taking his eyes from the window.
“I know, but if things work out though, I’ll have my own place in LA and enough money so you can move out there too. I mean by that point you’ll have all your basics down in school and with your grades you can go anywhere ya know?” Josh assured, he sounded as if he truly believed life could be that simple and to him it could be, they just had to work at it, they had for this long.
As his flight was called Josh sighed, picking up his carryon he ran a hand through his hair and bit his bottom lip. After a few second, Justin turned around to face him and hugged him tightly. “Be safe OK?” He requested. “And … Break a leg or whatever.” He teased … “But not literally.” He stated half seriously, as if he needed to clarify. Josh just laughed. “Will do.”
As the two kissed those that passed by offered an odd look or two but hey, this was New York, people were use to this sort of thing. In the end, Josh and Justin were so lost that Josh had to practically run to catch his flight. As Justin watched him bored and watched the plane take off he felt so alone and so empty. He was so angry with Josh for leaving him but more then that he was hurt by the act; though he knew nothing could be done.
By the time, he found his way home it was nearly midnight. After wondering around for nearly four hours, he was rather tired, the few drinks in his system didn‘t help either. Therefore, soon after his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light, only not for long.
~
As Austin shoved him down hard into the bed Justin attempted to move, to get away but it was useless, the man was far too big and he was just a child. The male slowly climbed on top of him, unbuttoning his own pants as he did so.
“Now, you’re going to take this kid, or I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk, you under me boy?” He whispered in a cold and low voice. The young boy shivered and shook as tears slipped from his eyes and down his face. He didn’t understand what was happening to him. Austin had touched him here and there but only through his cloths, he’d never taken anything of before.
As clenched his jaw shut he decided no matter what he wasn’t doing this… It was wrong. In school, they had talked about this, about bad touches and good touches and how anything that scared was bad. This was bad!
Austin only laughed and slapped him hard across the face. “Open up.” He demanded, but Justin refused and for this reason he was given a few more blows to his face and finally as Austin’s hand tightened around his throat and in attempted to breath he parted his lips slightly.
Shoving his figures in first and then his dick he processed to his best friend’s son as one would who a whore you picked up on the street, as he loosened grip, Justin still choked and gasped for air but Austin didn’t kept up and that was how it started …
~
Fighting with the covers Justin finally awoke from his nightmare, he was crying and his body was soaked with sweat. He looked around desperately in fear as if he expected to be jumped at any moment. “Josh” He yelled out his heart pounding. “Josh.” He cried out again but there as no answer. After several minutes he realized his boyfriend, his protection was gone and he was alone.
