Dinner had been fun and relaxing and Justin had really enjoyed being around his grandparents.  They were always so welcoming and they reminded him of simpler times.

Gia had seemed fine throughout the meal and there was no mention of what had happened earlier that afternoon.  Justin thought that things were fine, but now as they were walking back toward his mother’s house, he wasn’t so sure.

She had drawn back into herself again.  She had put on a convincing façade during dinner, but now that no one else was around Justin was starting to see that she wasn’t as happy as she had first let on.

“Are you OK, Peaches?”  His voice broke the silence that had settled between them and it took Gia a few minutes to acknowledge that he had spoken.  She seemed consumed with her thoughts and he wondered what was going through her head.

“Huh?  Oh…yeah, I’ll be fine.”  Her answer wasn’t convincing and she wouldn’t look at him when she spoke.

“Georgia, what’s going on?”  His voice was stern and it caused her to stop walking and turn toward him.

“I don’t know, Justin.  I don’t know what’s going on.  I can’t tell you what I’m thinking because I don’t know…something’s bothering me and I can’t figure it out and I would really appreciate it if you just left me alone for a while, ok?”  Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence and she didn’t give him time to respond as she stormed off in the direction of the house.

“Fuck.”  Justin kicked at a rock near his foot and let out a grunt of frustration.  This was not supposed to be happening again.

He took his time getting back to the house, relieved to see his mother’s car in the driveway.  Gia was no where to be found as he entered the house and headed toward the kitchen where he heard voices.  His mother was putting away dishes and Paul was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

“Georgia is out on the back porch, she seems pretty upset.”  Paul eyed Justin to watch for a reaction.  The younger man glanced at the back door before unceremoniously flopping down in a chair.

“I don’t think she wants to see me right now…actually, I know she doesn’t want to see me.”  Lynn handed him a cup of coffee before disappearing onto the back porch with two mugs in her hands.

Paul set his cup on the table before turning and facing his step son.  “What’s going on?”

Justin let out a heavy sigh and rested his head in his hands.  “I don’t know what’s going on.  She’s pulling away from me again and I don’t know how to stop it.”  He sounded on the verge of tears.

“Is it her depression?”  Paul stood and brought over a plate of cookies Lynn had made earlier setting it in front of Justin.

“I think so.  I asked her what was bothering her and she snapped at me.  I don’t know what to do.”  He shoved a cookie in his mouth and chewed angrily.

“There isn’t much you can do but sit and wait.  She’s got a lot going on in her head right now, Son, and she needs to figure it out before she can let you help.”  He picked up a cookie himself and Justin lifted his eyes to look at the older man.

“Did she talk to you?”

“No, she didn’t.”  He took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “Your mother dealt with depression for a while.”

“She did?”  Justin’s eyebrows rose to his hair line in shock.

“Yup.  Right around the time we met she was finalizing her divorce with your father and she was really stressed out about everything.  She and I went through a lot that first year, it was difficult.”

“I didn’t know this.  Mom was really depressed?”  Paul nodded and finished off his cup of coffee.  He went to the coffee maker and poured himself another cup and offered to fill Justin’s. 

“Your mother tried hard to keep it from you.  Even when you were little you were very aware of things around you, especially your mom.  She and I struggled to get through everything, and it was tough but we made it.  This is just a phase, Justin.  I don’t know all of the gory details but I know that Gia has been through a lot in her life.  She’ll get through this; you just need to be patient and supportive.”

Justin sat back in his chair and let his Dad’s words mull over in his head.  He hadn’t known that his mother had dealt with depression in her life.  Although he knew it wasn’t true, he couldn’t help but feel like no one knew what he was going through.  Hearing Paul tell him that his mother went through something similar and they got through it together was encouraging.

“Dad,”  He looked up at the older man and waited until he had his attention.  “Do you think it was wrong of me to leave Gia before?  I mean, was it a bad idea for me to give her space?  Should I have stayed?”  Justin’s voice was filled with guilt and desperation and Paul’s heart went out to him.

“I think you did what you felt was best.  Even though your mother thought you should have stayed and been there for her it wouldn’t have helped if you felt suffocated too.  You can only help if you’re willing to put in the time and effort.  If you needed to give yourself space, then I think you did the right thing.”  He finished off the second cup and set it down with a clunk.  “and I think as far as Gia is concerned the space was beneficial.  She’s a strong girl, Justin.  You two will be just fine.”

~*~

Gia and Lynn sat in the glider and sipped their coffee in silence.  The crickets were chirping and dusk was settling in causing a sleepy feel to fall over the two ladies.

Gia’s head was swimming with thoughts and she didn’t know where to start.  She wasn’t even sure what had triggered this mental breakdown, but it was bothering her and it was affecting the people around her.

Lynn reached to a small table next to the glider and pulled out a blanket.  Even though it was summer the night held a slight chill.  She draped the fabric over their laps and  petted Gia’s leg.

“How was dinner?  I know my mother was really excited that you and Justin were home.”

“Oh…dinner was nice.  I’ve always enjoyed spending time with your parents.”  Gia sipped the last of her coffee and placed her mug on the table. 

“I heard about this afternoon.”  Lynn watched the girl’s face turn a deep shade of red and she ducked her head in embarrassment.  “It’s OK, Gia.  I know that you and my son are adults.  My mother was just teasing the two of you, she really meant no harm.”

Gia shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  She was wondering if maybe they should call up Justin’s dad and let him know about their afternoon activities, then everyone in his family could know.

“I guess I’m just embarrassed.  My family was never open and…understanding.”  She offered a small smile to Lynn but it didn’t really reach her eyes.

“Is that what’s been bothering you?”

Gia let out a breath of air and shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I think I was just so worried that Grandma Sadie would think less of me for being with Justin in your house.”  Her voice became shaky with tears and she paused a moment to collect herself.  “I guess I’m just used to being judged and put down…the feelings became too overwhelming for me.”

Lynn gave the girl a sad smile and wrapped her arm around her shoulder.  She hugged Gia to her side and kissed her temple.

“It’s OK to feel overwhelmed, darlin’.  It’s OK for you to have bad days and want to cry.”

“But I’m so sick of feeling that way, I should be better than this.”  A few tears had fallen down her cheeks and Lynn wiped them off with her thumbs.

“I know, Georgia.  I know what you’re feeling, and it’s OK.  You just need to let yourself feel it and then you need to focus on moving past that feeling.  Don’t be afraid to feel upset, and don’t be afraid to let people help you.”

Gia took some deep breaths in an attempt to calm down.  She leaned into Lynn’s embrace and rested her head on the woman’s shoulder.

“I can’t thank you enough for all of your support…”  She trailed off and Lynn knew there was a ‘but’ coming.  “It just makes me wish that my own mother could love me like you do.”

Lynn’s heart broke with those words and she squeezed the girl a little tighter to her.

“I wish I could fix that for you because every girl needs her Momma.  I know that I’m just your boyfriend’s mother, but I’ve come to think of you as one of my own.  This family may not be the one you were born into, but you are loved here, Gia.”

Gia nodded and sniffled.  She wiped at her face with the back of her hands and took a calming breath.  “I know.”

“You have been through so much in your lifetime, a lesser person would’ve broken by now.  I know this may not help much right now, but you will get through this.  You will make it past these feelings and you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.”

“You’re right…it doesn’t help much right now.”  The two women giggled a little and Lynn placed another kiss on Gia’s forehead.

“You’ll be OK, darlin’.  You can always call me to talk.”  She waited for Gia to acknowledge the statement before standing and helping the girl up.  “Now, there should be some cookies inside.  That is, unless the boys got to them and ate them all.”

Gia paused for a second at the door.  “You mean Justin had a chance to eat them first?  There won’t be anything left.”  Lynn laughed and the two women headed back inside the kitchen.

Justin and Paul were laughing over something sports related, both of them seated at the table.  A plate of crumbs sat between then and Lynn was about to scold them but Justin stood and headed to the counter.

“Don’t yell yet, I knew I would get carried away because your cookies are the best.”  He gave her a cheeky grin and produced a plate of cookies.  “So I saved you both a plate.”  His grin grew when Lynn placed a kiss on his cheek.

Gia offered him a smile before stealing a couple of cookies and excusing herself to their bedroom upstairs.  She needed a little bit of space to clear her head and calm down.  Talking with Lynn was helpful, but it couldn’t make all of the overwhelming feelings go away. Gia had felt some relief after spending time with her sister and gaining come closure from her mother, but she couldn’t ignore that a lot of hurtful things had been said. 

She was dealing with trying to sort out the feelings of being completely alone and unloved when she knew that wasn’t the case.  Being with Justin and his family helped heal a little of that loneliness, but it couldn’t make it go away completely.  Only time could do that. 

There was a soft knock on the door and she looked up to see Justin leaning against the door frame.

“Can I come in?”  If he could’ve been waiving a white flag, she was sure he would have had one.

“Sure.”  She stood from her seat on the bed and waited for Justin to start apologizing and blabbering on like he usually did in uncomfortable situations.  She was surprised when he took the few steps needed to get to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.  She felt the tears start up again and she tried her hardest to keep them in.

Justin let the hug last a few moments longer before pulling back a little and looking at Gia.  He smiled softly and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.  He wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks and gave her a gentle push so she was sitting on the bed again.  He climbed up on the mattress and sat against the head board before motioning for her to join him.

“I want to cuddle.”  His voice was childlike and she held in her laughter as she crawled up next to him and settled comfortably into his warm embrace.  Her head rested in the nook between his shoulder and neck and she held on tightly to his torso.  His kissed her temple and pulled her as close as he could.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.”  Gia’s voice was soft and unsure.  Justin placed a finger over her lips to silence her.

“You don’t need to apologize.  Just let me hold you, K?”  Gia didn’t respond, instead she snuggled closer to him and placed a kiss on the exposed skin of his neck.  She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, sinking into Justin and letting the stress of the day slowly leave her body.

“We’re going to be ok, Jut?”

“We’re already Ok, Peaches.”