“Justin is back.”

“Really?”  Emma shifted in her chair and waited for Gia to start speaking. 

“I had a panic attack last week, after our session, and I didn’t know who to call.  I don’t even remember dialing his number, but he talked me through it as he came over.  I knew I missed him, I just didn’t realize how much.”

“What caused the panic attack?”

“My mom called.  I guess my sister talked to her on my behalf, and now I’ve officially been disowned, at least in my mother’s eyes.  She told me to never contact her again.”

“How does that make you feel? Hearing those words?”

“Angry, hurt, upset, torn…numb.  It didn’t really surprise me, what she said, I guess I was most upset by her threat to keep me from talking to anyone else in my family.  I hate her, and then I hate myself for hating her.”  Gia’s tone was quiet, sad, and it seemed that some of the progress she had been making was ruined by her mother’s declaration.

“Gia, you have every right to hate your mother.  She hasn’t been a mother to you for years.  I think you should focus on the people in your life that care about you, blood relatives or otherwise.  Family doesn’t always have to be related.”

Gia sat and contemplated that statement for a while, and it wasn’t long before her thoughts were shifting toward Justin and what his being back meant for her life. 

“I’m worried about Justin being back,” she finally voiced.

“Why is that?”

“A few reasons, I guess.  For one, I was too dependent on him before and since he left I’d been doing well on my own.  It’s taken me a while but I finally feel able to stand on my own two feet.  I’m afraid that I’ll resort back to how it used to be if he stays this time.”

“And the other reason?”

“I’m scared shitless that he’s going to leave me again.”

“Well, can I tell you what I think?”  Emma watched as Gia nodded before continuing, “I think that you’ve come a very long way from when we first met.  I see so much progress and strength in you, Gia.  I think that you know where your weaknesses are and I think you know now, how to avoid them.  If you’re willing to make Justin a part of your life again, you need to let him know that there should be boundaries.  I also think that you’re at the point where you can start loving yourself which means it’ll be easier for you to love someone else.”

Gia sat back and looked at her therapist and pondered what had just been said.

She did feel stronger, and she did know what her weaknesses were, she just wasn’t sure if being with Justin again was a good idea. 

She loved him, and seeing him again after three months only solidified that fact in her mind.  But she had started to make a life without him, one that was working well.  Letting Justin back in would mean changing things and making sacrifices, and Gia was worried that things would end up like before.

“Gia?”  Emma’s voice brought her out of her reverie, “Our time is up for today.”  The older woman smiled and Gia stood from her chair.

“Thank you, Emma, I’ll see you next week.”

Walking from the building, Gia slipped on her sunglasses and headed toward her pick-up truck.  The session had sparked a lot of questions, mostly centered around one man in particular, and Gia knew that she wouldn’t be able to relax until things had been sorted out.  Picking up her phone she pressed the speed dial that would connect her to Justin.

~*~

It had been a week since he had seen her or talked to her.  After her panic attack, Justin had sat with her and held her until she fell asleep.  He tucked her in and left her to rest, and that was the last he had spoken to her.

He was a little worried, but more anxious than anything.  Hearing her confess that she missed him and feeling his emotions bubble inside of him made Justin painfully aware that there was a lot to work out.  He wanted to talk to her, to see her again, but he knew that she needed to come to him first.

The sounds of Ray Charles’ voice came singing out of his cell phone and he smirked.  Georgia.  She hated that he programmed his phone to sing the song Georgia every time she called, but he liked it, so it stayed.

“Hello?”

“Hey Jut, are you busy?”  He smiled at the nickname, it felt good to hear her voice again.

“Uhm…I’m at the studio right now, but I can leave whenever.  Why? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to get some take out or something…I want to talk with you.”  The words were heavy and Justin almost cringed.  He knew they needed to talk about things, he was just hoping that they could pretend for a little while longer.

“Sure.  Where are you now?”

“I’m just leaving my therapist’s office.  I can grab some Chinese and meet you at your place.”

“Mmm…sounds good to me.  If I’m not there before you, the key is-“

“Up the gnome’s nose, I know.  You know, Jut, if someone really wanted to get into your place I’m sure they could find the key, your hiding place isn’t very good.”

“Hey!  It’s very good.  I mean, most people would think to look under the door mat or in the porch light…not everyone thinks to look up the yard gnome’s nose.”  Her laughter could be heard over the line and he couldn’t help but smile.

“I guess you’re right.  Is the code still the same?”

“It is.  I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Bye.”  She hung up the phone and let out a sigh.  Things felt so easy, so normal between them.  It was almost like nothing had changed, except a lot had changed.  It was good to know that he hadn’t shut her out by changing the codes or the locks or anything.  Although, he was very proud of his key hiding place, so Gia suspected that that wasn’t going to change any time soon.

Turning the key in the ignition she started her truck and pulled out of the parking lot.  Her first priority was getting food and actually getting to Justin’s.  After that she could start worrying about what to say.

~*~

The only sound that could be heard was the clinking of forks on plates and the sound of Justin chewing.  Gia stared as the man across from her practically inhaled the food in front of him and she had to focus really hard not to gag.

“Hungry?”

Justin’s head shot up from its bent position and he stopped, fork mid-air.  A sheepish grin settled on his face and he set the plate on the table before swallowing the food in his mouth.

“Sorry, I didn’t get lunch today; I guess I was really hungry.”

Gia chuckled before sitting back further in her favorite comfy chair.  Justin noted that, while it still dwarfed her small frame, the chair didn’t seem to swallow her whole this time.  There was definitely something different about Georgia Mason, and he liked it.

“You look good, Georgia.”  She blushed a little and avoided his gaze.  Her eyes got a far off look as she traveled to some other place.

“Things are going well for me, Jut.  I’m finally finding some peace with myself and my family.  I never really told you about what happened with my mom.  I guess I was ashamed because I know how close you are with your mother, I didn’t want you to think less of me because I hated mine.”

Justin sat back on the couch and listened intently as the girl across from his spilled secrets that she had been holding for a very long time.

During the course of their relationship Gia had never really explained what had happened with her family.  Justin knew a little bit, but mostly that she and her mother hadn’t gotten along well.  He didn’t push it, and at the time it didn’t really seem like an issue. 

But now, after hearing the stories and watching the tears as she relived the pain again, Justin wished he had pushed just a little bit more. 

“The call I got the other day, the one that caused the panic attack, it was my Mom informing me that I was no longer her daughter.  I guess it’s easier for her to make me the scapegoat for all of her problems.”

Justin moved from his spot on the couch and lifted Gia from her place in the chair before sitting down in her spot and settling her on his lap.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me these things?  I would’ve tried to help.”

She looked at him with wet eyes before answering, “I didn’t want to think about it.  Things with us were so great, perfect almost; I didn’t want to ruin it by thinking about her and what she’s done.  When we were together I could forget that I had family that didn’t love me…and I don’t think there was much you could’ve done to help.  This was something I needed to face on my own.”

“And now?”  Justin’s eyes were pleading with her and she managed a small smile.

“Now, I’ve faced it.  It’s been a rough three months, but you were right.  I needed to do this.  I’m not healed yet, Jut.  I still have a ways to go, especially with my mom still pulling things like this.  I know that I’ve missed you and that being with you again feels right, but I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

Justin cleared his throat before licking his lips and speaking.  “What do we need to do?  How do we make this work?”

“I need to keep my space.  I mean, I need to still live my own life, separate from yours, at least for a little while.  I don’t want things to turn out like before.  I don’t want to start depending on you too much, again.”

It seemed like she had a lot more to say, but Justin couldn’t take his eyes off of her lips and he couldn’t stop thinking about how good she smelled.  Before he could stop himself, he had taken her lips with his own.

The kiss was slow, tentative.  It was as if they were feeling each other out, trying to guess what the other was thinking.  It was practically over before it started, and Justin pulled back to look into the blue eyes of the girl on his lap.

“Was that a bad thing to do?”  He worried that he had ruined things before they even started, but was encouraged when she blushed a little and shook her head.

“No, it was a good thing…”  She leaned in to kiss him a little more thoroughly this time before pulling away and snuggling into his chest.  “We have a lot to figure out still.”

“I know, Georgia, I know.”  He rested his chin on the top of her head and let out a sigh.  Even though things weren’t even close to being fixed, he knew that they would somehow figure out a way to make it all work.  It would probably bite them both in the ass, but right now all he wanted to do was hold her.