October 19th, Nick’s Apartment
HONEY I’M HOME!!!
I immediately crack up at Justin’s text before hitting the reply button.
YAY! I’m with my honey right now, can I ttyl?
Fine…just leave me ALL alone : (
I giggle while shaking my head; he’s such a baby.
Oh go cake with your girlfriend… ; )
As soon as I hit the reply button, Nick comes out of the bathroom and makes his way back over to his spot on the couch. He and I decided to spend our Friday together watching movies and chilling out at his place, which is about fifteen minutes away from Ava’s. I’m thankful for today since we, as well as everyone else have been gearing up to leave for Australia in the next four days. That’s right, I got the green light from Justin about going “down under” with them for this leg of tour. He looked at me like I had three heads when I asked, but understood when I told him that I didn’t want to impose and just invite myself if I wasn’t needed.
I know at first I was real apprehensive about Justin and I becoming friends, but after that day we spent in Manhattan Beach together, I knew that I had made a beneficial decision for once and plan on sticking with it. You know how you meet a person that you’ve never met before and yet it feels like you’ve known them your entire life? It’s weird and a little bit scary, but that’s how I feel about Justin. Maybe it’s because he’s seen and experienced so much in his 26 years of life, but I never realized how well we relate to each other until we started talking more. That’s another thing I’ve realized, Justin like”no loves to talk, especially if it’s something he’s passionate about like his music, family, or his obsession with golf. Although I told him that I think golf is about as exciting as watching paint dry, I like listening to him rant and rave about it with a smile just to see his hands flying animatedly when he talks. In this short amount of time I’ve discovered how intelligent, insightful, humble, sweet, and funny he is and that away from the glitz and glamour of his profession, he’s just a country boy from the boondocks of Tennessee. He’s been good about the phone thing, making sure not to call me no later than ten at night. We mainly text each other anyway, which I had to sort of teach him how to do and tease him about since I’ve discovered how technically challenged he is. But he’s gotten better at it, hence today’s messages.
This month hasn’t been so busy since Justin has been in Toronto for the last two weeks shooting a movie with Mike Meyers. I guess he figured he’d drop that little bombshell on me a few days before he was supposed to leave when he knows that I love comedies and Mike Meyers movies. But the whole time he was gone he never failed to text me at least twice a day, despite the fact that he had Jessica to keep him company. It kind of worried me a bit, especially since I was coincidentally with Nick most of the times he would text me, but when I asked how he and Jessica were doing he told me things were fine. Maybe I should double check on that. Speaking of Nick, even though he knows about Justin and our friendship, I get nervous about bringing him up outside of the work setting. Gee, I wonder why. Plus it doesn’t help that I catch Nick grimacing every time I run for my phone.
“Let me guess, Justin right?” Nick asks flatly while staring at the TV.
I sigh. “Please don’t be like that, he just wanted to let me know that he got home like I asked him to.”
He silently nods his head in response. Great, now he’s giving me the silent treatment.
“You mad at me now?”
He shakes his head no, again silently in response.
“Nick,” I whine before getting up and straddling his waist. I place a soft kiss to his lips before cradling his face in my hands. “Talk to me…please?”
“Look,” he sighs, “I’m not trying to control you or run your life, but it’s like I’m sharing you with someone else and…and I don’t want to,” he chuckles softly. Dammit he is so adorable right now.
“I know it’s bold and selfish of me to say, especially since we’re not together, but Selah I want you and I want to be the only man for you. It’s not that you and Justin being friends bothers me, it’s just that when I want to spend time with you outside of work, it’s like we can never get away and”"
I interrupt him with my lips again; soothing his fears with soft, slow kisses. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me tight against his body as my hands smooth over his buzz cut. I hate to prolong the agony of not giving him a final answer about us because I know that I’m ready to take a chance on him. But honestly, I can’t shake that little part of me that’s scared that he and I are doomed and we haven’t even started. I just don’t want to get my heart broken all over again because there’s a part of me that I feel won’t survive if that happens. But I know that I’m hurting him even more by leaving him in the dark when he’s shown me that I have nothing to fear when it comes to him. I pull away, breathless and press my forehead against his.
“I’m sorry, so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that and I don’t think that you’re selfish for what you said…I don’t like being shared anyway,” I say with a small smile.
He smiles back, “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I know that you have been more than patient with me, but I promise you that it’ll be worth the wait. I know how I feel about you and I’m ready to be with you, I’m just scared that we may fall through and I can’t go through that again Nick, I can’t. I just want to be sure that I’m jumping into this with both feet, so baby please just hold on a little bit longer for me. And I promise that you won’t have to share me with anyone because I’ll be all yours, okay?”
He presses his lips against mine this time, “Selah, I told you that you don’t have to decide right now; baby I’m ready when you’re ready. But I’m not going to lie, it feels good to hear you say that you’ve given it some thought and that you want to.”
For some reason, the way that I’m positioned in his lap, the way that his arms are wrapped around me, the taste and feel of his kisses, hell the topic of the conversation has got me hot for him right now. Maybe it’s what he said to me, that he wants me and wants to be the only man for me that’s got me so turned on right now. This is a damn shame, here we are trying to have a serious conversation and all I want to do is rip his clothes off. I think he can tell that I’m done talking about the subject at hand since I’ve been staring at him for the last few minutes without saying a word. I snap back into reality when I feel his lips against my neck and his tongue peek out to mark my spot.
“Looks like you want to do something else right now,” he says into my ear lowly.
“I’m sorry,” I respond quietly, “I know you probably think I haven’t heard a word you said, but I did. It’s just that…” I pause feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.
“What babe? Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I look away from his gaze embarrassedly before speaking. “It’s just that I want to do so many things to you that someone my age should know how to do. And ever since you came around, I think about it all the time…”
“And by ‘it’ you mean?” He asks with mischievous smirk. Ugh, he’s actually going to make me admit it?
“Sex Nick, sex. There, are you happy that I admitted it and have made an ass of myself?” I exclaim. I smack him in the shoulder playfully as he laughs at my confession. I mean I’ve never been shy about the topic of sex, but when it comes to my own experience, that’s when I start to get self-conscious.
“Beautiful, you didn’t make an ass of yourself and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I think it’s beautiful that you’re still a virgin, admirable even because there aren’t many girls like you around anymore. Look baby, I know you want to satisfy me but don’t you worry about that. Like I said, I’m ready when you’re ready, but since I don’t feel that you are and we aren’t official, I wouldn’t feel right doing that with you. Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to because believe me, I do,” he laughs lightly. “I just don’t want you to have any regrets about me and us.”
Seriously, there are still men like this around? I hear what he’s saying though and I’m glad that he’s being that reality check that’s keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds.
“Well I haven’t had any complaints so far and definitely no regrets,” I say while removing myself from his lap and getting up off of the couch. “It doesn’t make me want rip all your clothes off any less though…” I say before looking over my shoulder to see his reaction. As soon as I step into his kitchen my world is flipped upside down as he throws me over his shoulder and heads toward his bedroom with me laughing and squealing the whole way.
Looks like my head will be in the clouds sooner than I thought.
**************************************************************************
11:40 p.m.
I feel like Jello right now as I curl up between my warm sheets with a satisfied smile on my face. My eyes close as I start replay the three reasons why I’m smiling over in my head. Shit, if getting licked until I bust is the outcome after every serious conversation that Nick and I have, then I can’t wait for us to be together. Granted, I stripped him naked the second we made it to his bedroom and covered his body with licks, nibbles, and wet kisses, but I was the one that ended up on my back screaming for mercy as soon as his tongue touched my clit. But damn does he have a nice dick. I mean it’s not like I’ve seen many of them, but I was juicy as hell while I stroked his thickness from base to tip and listened to his moans and…
Who the fuck is calling me right now?!!
Grabbing the vibrating device, I glance at the ID as a small grin appears on my face.
“I thought I told you no late night creep phone calls?” I say, answering the call.
“I know, I know and I’m really sorry,” Justin replies like a little boy who just got caught sneaking a cookie out of the cookie jar. “You’re not at Nick’s still are you?”
I giggle, “No, he dropped me off at home about an hour ago. Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell on you and have him come to your house and beat you up.”
“Pshhh, we all know how that would end so you better act like you know. So how on earth did you survive without me for two weeks?” He asks jokingly.
“Easy…I was with Nick,” I laugh.
“See, now why you wanna do me like that? I was in another country and I made sure to text you almost every day to see how you were doing,” he pretends to sob.
“Cry me a river…cry me a river-er,” I mimic his song while continuing to laugh.
“Now that’s just cold, and here I thought I would receive a nice warm welcome from you. I’m hanging up”"
“If you don’t want me to kick you in the neck the next time I see you then you’d stay on the line,” I interrupt. “Besides…you know I missed your big baby self, now how was your trip?”
He proceeds to tell me about his trip, a little bit about the movie and his character, who rocks a member’s only jacket, a 70s pornstache, and a speedo. You can imagine the visual that I got after hearing that. But I couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t mentioned Jessica at all even though she was there with him the entire time.
“Hey, let me ask you something,” I say quietly.
“Anything.”
“I’m not trying to be nosy or anything and you always listen to me blab on about Nick and I, but how are you and Jessica doing?”
He pauses before answering and that alone says so much. “Fine.”
“Okay here’s another question, why are you lying to me?”
“Selah…” he whines. I swear he still should be wearing a diaper and sucking on a damn binkie.
“Justin, did you notice how long it took you to answer, because I did. If things were really ‘fine’ between you two then you would have answered me with some confidence, so you want to try that again?”
“And you talk about me reading you so well…”
“I’m doing this because you’re my friend and you always take the time to listen to me, so lets reverse the roles.”
He sighs this time, “You remember when we were in that bathroom in Montreal and I told you that there was no spark between Jess and I? Well it was ignited for a minute, like since we’ve been on break because we’ve been able to spend more time with each other. But while we were in Toronto, one night we were lying in the hotel bed together and I was staring up at the ceiling, just thinking…”
“What were you thinking about?”
“That I can’t do this with her anymore,” he laments. “I’ll always love her, there’s no doubt about that, but I can’t find myself being in love with her. I mean maybe I’m trying to rush nature’s course by forcing myself to feel things before I’m ready to. I’m just tired of kissing frogs,” he laughs hollowly.
“Uh no offense JT, but the last time that I checked Britney and Cameron were a little too hot to be considered frogs,” I joke. “But I know what you mean and sometimes we have to kiss three, four, and five frogs just to get to our prince or princess. Even though those relationships made have been disastrous or didn’t work out the way you wanted them to, you learned from them right?”
“Right,” he replies quietly.
“And that’s what being in love is all about, taking and learning from your past experiences and using them to help you grow and discover what you want the next time around. I think every person’s idea or definition of love refines itself over time and you find yourself becoming more open to different types of people and ideas. So maybe that’s what’s happening to you, maybe your ideals on being in love have changed and you just haven’t realized it. Maybe it just needs some time. I mean Justin you should know better than anyone that love does not work according to your schedule.”
He quiet for a moment and I almost think that I’ve talked to him to sleep with my psychoanalysis. “J, are you still there?”
“Why are you so amazing?” He asks in what seems to be genuine wonder.
I giggle at his question, “I don’t even know how to answer that, hell I was just rambling. I mean was I making any sense?”
“Yeah, perfect sense. I guess I just want that instant connection, you know that undeniable chemistry with her. Like I feel that Jess is the one I should be with right now, but you’re right, maybe I’m little too old to believe in love at first sight.”
“Well there’s nothing wrong with striving for something you want Justin. Someone once told me that if you’re passionate about something or someone, than no one can stop you. So stay down with Jess because it’s obvious that you’re passionate about her and when you least expect it, you’ll find yourself falling in love with her like you’re supposed to.”
He chuckles, “How are you just going to throw my words back in my face like that, woman?”
“Because it looks like someone should be following his own advice.”
“Yeah, well I hope that someone else is doing the same thing.” Was that supposed to be aimed at me?
“I am and right now, I’m finding that Nick and dancing are the perfect combination for me.”
He sighs as if that’s not what he wanted to hear. “I…I’m glad to hear that. But it’s getting late and I don’t want to break anymore of our phone etiquette rules…” he laughs nervously.
“Oh, okay. Well I hope I was helpful to you and if my psychobabble didn’t make any sense then do the next best thing and talk to her,” I joke, trying to bring the silliness back to our conversation.
“Yeah…I’ll do that. Thanks Selah, ‘night.”
The phone clicks off before I even get to respond and I start to wonder if I missed something major throughout our whole conversation.
“Goodnight Justin.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey darlings, here is the next chapter. This chapter and the next one are going to be posted pretty quickly because I'm in the process of preparing to head back to school in a few days. But not to worry, once I get settled into my schedule I'll be getting back to writing. I hope you guys enjoy this one and again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
Story Tags: love tourj soloj justin dancer college
