October 24th; Brisbane, Australia, Queensland University of Technology (Room 207), 7:05 p.m.
Damn. That seems to be the only word in my vocabulary these last three days. From the moment Justin left early Monday morning, to when the rest of the dancers, band, and I landed in Brisbane yesterday, to now, as my sister kicks mine and the rest of many Aussies’ asses who have decided to come out and participate in the girls’ dance workshop, all I can say is damn to world-wind that has become my life in the last three days.
I firmly believe that I sold my soul (and my pussy) to the blue-eyed devil on Sunday night and it happened as soon as I opened the door. But I must love the burn of hell because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him or that night since it happened. There’s a part of me that can’t believe it happened, that a guy who just two months ago, was plastered all over the walls of my bedroom and bumping from my stereo, had now taken my virginity by bumping and grinding with me between my sheets and had been all up in my walls. Sweet Jesus did it happen though because when I couldn’t sit down on the toilet to take a piss without wincing the next day, I knew it wasn’t because of all the dancing I’ve been doing. I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my vulnerability by letting my guard down in front of the other dancers, the audiences that I danced in front of, and most importantly, Nick. But lying there beside Justin and looking into his gorgeous blues after everything was all said and done made sent reality crashing into me hard, hard enough to bring tears to my eyes. Poor thing thought that he had hurt me, but I quickly assured him with a smile that he hadn’t and that what had happened between us had just been a little overwhelming for me, which he understood and soothed me by pulling me into his chest and softly rubbing my back until I fell asleep. The truth of the matter was that I wasn’t hurting too much from the physical pain, but from the emotional pain that was starting and continuing to unveil itself.
Let me just say that I don’t regret what Justin and I did, I just can’t believe that he broke up with her. After all the craziness we went through after I had asked him to break up with her in Vegas, he actually did it. I guess he had to do it on his own time and maybe he had to get away before things got any more serious than they already were. Although we didn’t talk about the details of their breakup, that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel horrible for Jessica. I mean that’s nine months of her life, time, and energy that she will never get back…and I know that I’m the one to blame for that. I used to hate when people who got caught doing something that they had no business doing would say, “It just happened”; like that bitchass claim was some kind of reliable excuse. But now that he’s broken up with her, we’ve slept together, and have broken two hearts; I’m stuck standing with my tail in between my legs crying that Justin and I just happened…but the truth is we did.
Please don’t get me started on Nick either, every time I think about those sleepy blue eyes my eyes start to burn with tears. To think that I was going to use this trip to cement the deal between us and give him what he has been waiting so patiently for. But I might as well kiss him and the idea of us ever being together goodbye because he isn’t going to want me now. As much as I wanted and needed Justin that night, I didn’t take the time to realize how Nick may have wanted, needed, and…loved me. There’s that damn word again, the one I possibly and still want to feel for Nick, the one that Justin wants to do to me, and the one that I’m absolutely terrified of feeling for Justin in return. I know everyone probably expects for me to do what most girls do after losing their virginity: fall completely head over heels for the guy, expect him to fall in love with me in return, and for he and I to end up together forever. But even though I gave a major part of my physical and emotional self to Justin, I didn’t give him my heart. Completely. To me, love is a verb because anyone can say those three little words, but when you’re willing to demonstrate the actions and feelings that comprise it, that’s when it’s for real. I always told myself that when I fall in love, that person needs to be willing to demonstrate those things and make me feel comfortable enough in order to reciprocate and while Justin takes my vulnerability to a whole new level, I’m not in love with him. Yet. And thus is the hot ass mess that is my life.
Aside from all the craziness that I’ve gotten myself into, there are still plenty of good things that are outweighing the bad; for example, I’m in fucking Australia. I always knew that being a dancer had its perks, but for me to have seen more of the country that I live in just these few months than I have in my entire life and now a country that I could only dream of visiting? It’s just amazing. Ava was cracking up at me as our plane flew over the ocean and parts of the country that I could see from aerial view, but if anyone understood how major and exciting this was for me, it was my sister. I watch her now from my position on this makeshift stage as she goes over the steps to her “Upgrade U” routine. We’ve been going at it for almost an hour and I’m starting to notice just how talented people outside of the U.S. are because these Australian young men and women are gettin’ it. Since I learned the routine, I’m serving as Ava’s assistant by going over the routine with her and going around the classroom in case anyone has questions or is having trouble picking up a step. Michele, Nanci, Dana, and Tammy are watching from the side since their workshops take place later in the evening. I see why the other dancers are pumped to do the workshops because they’re mad fun; in fact I’m hoping to be able to take some of their classes while we’re here as well.
“Alright ya’ll, Selah and I are going to go over the steps with you guys and the music one more time and then…” My sister trails off with a cheeky smile. “You guys are going to show off what you learned without us, so ya’ll ready?”
The class responds with emphatic “yeahs” as I start the music. As the small intro of the song plays, Ava and I look at each other with knowing smiles, simply because we’re about to tear it up like we usually do. But as I look at my sister, I wonder if she knows about Sunday and if she can see the inner turmoil that I’ve been going through for the last three days because of it. I’ve been trying to play everything cool since she came back from Mama’s house later on Monday morning and she hasn’t asked if anything is wrong with me. But my sister knows when I’m not emotionally right, it’s like I send out this psychic vibe to her that tells her I need help even if I tell her that’s not the case. I just can’t handle disappointing her again like I did when I told her what had happened between Justin and I in Vegas. I mean I slept with her boss, in her house…yeah I’m on some grounds for possibly losing my life. I know that I’ll eventually tell her; I just hope that when I do, she’ll forgive me.
My negative thoughts are instantly cast aside however, as I hear Beyoncé begin to sing and feel my body begin to move along with everyone as we go through Ava’s choreography seamlessly before the two of us watch the class perform it on their own. As we give the class a round of applause for their hard work, a young woman raises her hand.
“Umm Ms. Bernstine, would you and your sister mind going over the routine again? Just to show us how the pros do it?” She asks with a shy smile in her cute Australian accent. The class begins to nod affirmatively in agreement and cheer us on as Ava and I can’t help but laugh and smile at her request.
“Sure,” my sister replies. “We’d love to. Hit the music again ‘La.” I do as I’m told before taking my place beside my sister.
“Work it girl,” Ava says to me with a smile and wink.
“Shit, we’re Bernstine’s girl, you already know we got this,” I reply with a smile back and with that, we fall right into step with each other. Unfortunately as I look out into our audience, I almost loose my footing when my orbs meet a familiar pair of blues and I’m instantly taken back to Sunday night:
“Baby…say it again,” he hisses as hips move like lightening against me. I try to yell out, but that’s when I feel his fingers nestle in between my folds again, finding my clit instantly. I try so hard to say his name, but my mouth can’t even form words as he rubs me furiously. His blue eyes are the last thing that I see as my orgasm finally washes over me…
I knew he was supposed to get here today, but I didn’t know he was going stop by the workshops…okay, why am I freaking out about this? Better yet, why is my heart racing at the fact that he’s watching me right now with a sweet, but seductive smile on his face? Ugh, I need to get my shit together.
My sister and I finally finish our performance, which receives a roar of appreciation and applause from the class, before grabbing our things. When I look back toward the door though, he’s gone. He must be waiting outside somewhere away from all the fans so that he won’t get bum rushed.
“Awesome job ladies!” Dana exclaims while the other girls nod in agreement as Ava and I make our way over to them.
“Yeah, you guys that was great. And look at you little one, getting your first taste of teaching choreography,” Nanci says while pinching my cheek.
I giggle, “Oh please, I was really just taking the class like everyone else. But it was fun assisting and helping people out.”
“Well that’s one way to get your start as a choreographer sis,” Ava cuts in. “In addition to taking more classes, you can take what you learn, create your own style and end up teaching others. Next thing you know, people are going to be calling you for jobs or asking you to teach.”
“True, true. But I’ve got a lot of work to do if I’m going to get to that point, so maybe someday,” I reply as we make our way out of the classroom. I guess that hour of dancing and me drinking all that water really did a number on my bladder because I’m about to explode.
“Hey ya’ll, I have to take a serious piss so I’ll meet you guys outside in a few okay?”
“Okay,” they respond harmoniously before I dash off to find the ladies room. Three minutes later I’m empty and refreshed as I make my way out of the stall in order to wash my hands…only to be pushed up against the adjacent wall and met with the owner of those familiar blues. Before I can respond, he crashes his lips into mine, kissing me passionately and hungrily as his warm and hard body presses against me. He sucks on my bottom lip before finally pulling away and resting his forehead against mine.
I shake my head at him before a small grin breaks out onto my face as I make my way over to the sinks. “You are such a fucking creeper, always barging in when I’m in the bathroom. One of these days I’m going to be taking a shit and you’ll find out the hard way.”
Justin scrunches up his face in a disgusted manner before laughing heartily. “You are foul for that. I guess I barge in on you in here because it’s really the only time I can get you alone.”
I finish washing my hands before grabbing a paper towel. “Yeah, but what if someone saw you come in here? Or what if someone was in one of the other stalls?”
“Well then they would get quite an earful…or quite a show,” he says lowly before advancing toward me and placing me on the bathroom counter. Our lips meet again in a passionate duel and I know that I need to stop this before it gets too hot or someone walks in, plus the girls are waiting for me too. But dammit if his lips don’t feel good against my neck.
“Justin,” I say breathlessly. His hands have already lifted up the bottom of my shirt and his lips are feverishly planting kisses all over my stomach. Oh my god, we’re about to fuck in this bathroom aren’t we? I swear I’m going to hell for messing with this man.
“Justin…” I say more firmly this time. “Justin, I got-gotta go...the girls are waiting for me outside.”
“Tell them that you started talking to someone that took the class,” he says softly as he pushes up my sports bra and wraps his mouth around my right nipple. And there goes another pair of panties.
“Justin, we can’t have sex right now, I have to leave! It’s not like you can cum that fast anyway.” I’m starting to panic because while my brain is telling me to get the fuck up out of this bathroom, my body is starting to become paralyzed with pleasure and it doesn’t want to leave. He knows this of course, that’s why he isn’t listening to a word that I’m saying.
“Well thank you for noticing that baby,” he chuckles after pulling away from my chest. “And no we aren’t going to have sex right now, I don’t even have any condoms on me. But I do know someone who can cum in about a minute and I know just how to get her to do it,” he says while smiling at me mischievously as his right hand dips into my sweatpants and begins to rub against my throbbing pussy. Oh hell no.
I pull his hand out and push him away before pulling my bra and shirt back down and getting off of the counter. He just stands there with that signature cocky smirk on his face that I would love to smack right off of him because he knows that if I didn’t have people waiting on me or if we were somewhere else and we had condoms, I let him make me bust a nut every minute on the dot. Damn, is that what happens when you let Justin Timberlake dickmatize you?
“I said I have to go, I’ll talk to you later,” I say before opening the bathroom door and exiting with Justin right on my heels.
“Okay, okay,” he says while stopping in front of me. “I’m sorry…I guess I got a little carried away in there, huh?”
“You guess?” I retort before giving him a small grin. “I’m not mad, it’s just that I really have to leave and I don’t want people getting suspicious and asking questions, shit I can’t lie to save my life.”
“I know. I guess I can’t be selfish with you just yet, but believe me when that time comes,” he says as he wraps his arms around my waist. “Be prepared for me to never want to let you go.” He finishes his sentence by placing sweet and sensuous kiss to my lips that I feel all the way down to my toes. Well I’ll be damned.
“So when will I be able to make good on what we discussed in the bathroom?” Justin asks as we finally make our way to the parking lot. I’m nervous as hell because the girls have been waiting for at least 10 minutes or more and I really hope that they don’t start asking questions.
“Anytime after the shows, preferably at night though since everyone is most likely to be out at a club or something,” I reply coyly. The girls see me and relief washes over their features as they see Justin walking along side me.
“Girl, we thought you had fell in or something,” Michele cracks.
“That or taking a doo-doo,” my sister jumps in while making everyone crack up.
“Ewww A, don’t be putting me on blast like that! No, I was coming out and I ran into this guy right here and we started talking about the shows and stuff. He just wouldn’t let me go, huh Justin?” I ask, alluding to our previous conversation.
He chuckles but looks me directly in my eyes, “No, I would not. I’ll see you ladies later, maybe we can all do dinner or something?”
“Sounds good, just let us know,” Tammy replies.
We all exchange goodbyes as we make our way onto our bus and Justin makes his way into a blacked out SUV…but not before mouthing the word “Friday” to me and giving me a wink. Even though I know I’m getting myself into more shit by agreeing to this, I know that I’ll find myself in his room come Friday night, burning in lascivious hell with the blue-eyed devil.
Damn.
Author's Chapter Notes:
You guys have NO idea how happy I am to be posting right now. It's long overdue, I know, but I thank you all so much for sticking with me and this story because like I said, I am determined to finish it! I've been on winter break and I will be heading back to school in about two weeks, but I will be writing during that time if I don't finish the story before I go back. So the updates may come a bit slower, but at least they will be coming. Okay, I'll stop talking now and I hope you all enjoy your read!
Story Tags: love tourj soloj justin dancer college
