You know the funny thing is that I only recently started getting into Justin and his music, some of which I blame on my sister. Although we’re from the “hood,” I was one of the few black girls that were into the pop scene. Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC posters adorned my room while Britney or Christina bumped in the boom box. Even though I was a Backstreet girl, I was a “closet” *NSYNC fan, begging my mom or my grandmother to buy me their CDs. I didn’t even pay attention to Justin when he was in the group; I was (and still am) a Lance girl. Yeah, so he’s gay, but it is something about those green eyes and that voice that make my girly parts tingle.
To this day I’m still pissed that I never got to see them in concert, mainly because Ava never wanted to go with me and mom felt that I needed someone to be at the concert with me”a.k.a. babysit me. I even bought Justified and Schizophrenic when they came out, but Justin’s first album just didn’t keep my interest after listening to it the first few times, then again nothing could when I was 13 years old. In fact, I had missed out on all things Justin”his movies, philanthropic efforts, love life, etc”for the last six years or more, but I was growing up and growing out of my teeny bopper phase and on top of that, I was dealing with the everyday pressures of my own life.
But then the summer before senior year arrived and I was ready to get it over with before it had even started so that I could the fuck up out of L.A. By that time I had become a full-fledged computer nerd, playing on my laptop (supplied by my ritzy school) all day and all night. On one of the few days that I allowed my best friend Rassad to pull me away from the computer screen, we were driving around looking for some grub and listen to the radio when the “hot new jam” by Justin Timberlake came blasting through the car speakers.
I’m bringin’ sexy back…
Them other boys don’t know how to act…
I must admit that Justin had this little girl from Inglewood bobbing her head and hanging on to every word he said when sang that song. For the entire month of July, “SexyBack” was my anthem…that is until “My Love” came out. Finding that song on some random music blog before it had even been released was probably the best thing that ever happened because after I heard it, it was over. Apparently everyone else in America felt the same way because I couldn’t go anywhere without hearing it at least three or more times a day on the radio. By that time Ava had been up and down the California coast taking and teaching dance classes and auditioning for various musical acts, but my sister just couldn’t seem to nail a steady gig.
“ ‘La, maybe I should have just went to grad school like mama said,” she would say to me in those rare times she would get discouraged. But the one thing I admire about Ava is that she allows only one day for insecurity before she’s back out there, dancing a little harder and a little hungrier. So imagine my reaction (and bleeding eardrums) when my sister called to tell me:
“I’M GOING ON TOUR WITH JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!”
My mom thought someone had died when she burst into my room because I was screaming so loud. I had never been so proud of my big sister. That’s why being able to see her tonight, for the first time since she’s been on tour, and since I’ve been out of school is all the more special to me.
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FedEx Forum
“Selah, are you drooling?” My sister asks me.
See this is a damn shame. The man is so fine that I’m salivating over him like a slab of meat.
“No!” I reply defensively while trying to wipe the drool off my lip discreetly.
“You haven’t changed since the days his face decorated your bedroom. Now if you thought Nick was off limits, think of my boss as the Mona Lisa; if you try to touch him, alarms will start going off so don’t even try it,” Ava warns me.
Ugh, I get it! I mean I’m 19 and hormonal, not stupid. Plus I’m not blind to the fact that he’s currently taken or that I’m the baby sister of one of his dancers, so he wouldn’t even do a double take at me. No one ever does.
“Hey everyone, I hope you all slept well and had a great mini-vacation before we get started on this second leg. I’m really excited about tonight and just being home,” Justin pauses as a smile takes over his face. I think I’m melting.
“But as much as I like to have fun, it’s time to get to work so let’s get to goin’!” My sister and the rest of the dancers make their way to the stage.
“A, where should I go?”
“Go ahead and just sit in the club pit there. You’ll be able to see everything from that spot,” she says while giving me a bright smile. I reciprocate by giving her a smile back.
“Get it girl…”
She laughs before running back toward the stage. I take a seat on a barstool in the middle of the club pit. The stage is kind of circular so that everyone can see the dancers, the backup singers, and of course Justin. Ava told me that they have platforms that move the band members around as well as these openings in the stage where the dancers can disappear to their underground area. I’m just in awe of it all and for the infinite time in a row, proud that my sister was able to get to this point.
I look to my left and catch Michele’s eye. She gives me a wink and I give her a smile and thumbs up before I hear that infamous guitar riff. Suddenly I see Michele crawling along the platform on the other side of the club pit like a cat. I hear the guitar riff again and I look to my right to see Nancy moving in slow motion. I hear the riff one more time before I finally turn my head toward the center of the stage and see him standing there with his blue guitar in his hands. It’s been over six years since he released this song as his first single and here he is today, singing it like it’s the very first time.
I kind of noticed, something wasn’t right
In your colorful face…
It's kind of weird to me
Since you're so fine
If it's up to me your face will change…
I immediately start singing the next part, getting my groove on in the club pit by myself. I got reacquainted with Justified since my sister needed to practice the routines that Marty taught the dancers. It was then that I realized how great the album actually is. I take my eyes off of Justin to see my sister dancing her heart out, Michele being her sassy self, and Nick winking at me. I feel my face burn in response as my eyes make their way back to Justin who is strutting around the stage like he owns the place”well in a sense, he does. I usually hate guys that are cocky, but it’s something about Justin’s “cockiness” that I find so sexy.
But I bet it’s because he’s confident in what he does and believes in himself completely, something I have yet to discover within myself. I guess if I had an inkling of the confidence that Justin or even my sister exuded, I wouldn’t be in the position that I was in now”out of school, in the dog house with mom, unsure of what my future holds or what I want it to look like. I may be smiling on the outside, but no one, not even Ava really knows how scared and insecure I am. But my fears soon melt away when I look directly in front of me only to see Justin standing there, crooning the words of the bridge to me:
I just wanna love you baby
Yeah yeah yeah…
He better stop before I pass out because my heart is about to pop out of my chest it’s beating so fast. My cheeks are hurting because I’m smiling so hard and oh my sweet lord, did he just wink at me? Ok, I can officially die a happy woman now.
I fight the urge to scream like a teeny as he makes his way back to the center and falls right into the choreography with my sister to his left, and some curly-haired girl on his right. I figure she’s one of the dancers I haven’t met yet. The song ends and I don’t know whether to clap or scream. If it looked that good during rehearsal, then they were going to kill it once tonight comes. They go right into “My Love” after taking a quick breather and I almost pee my pants.
I. Love. This. Song.
I especially love how he decided to slow down the first verse, it sounds sexier that way. His voice sounds like silk as he sings the words:
If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular…
Is it bad that I want to shout out “HELL yes”? I figured that wouldn’t be very professional though. I hadn’t realized my eyes were closed as I listened to his voice until I felt a presence next to me.
“His voice is beautiful huh? Sometimes I close my eyes when he sings too.”
I look to my left and feel my stomach turn into a bunch of knots. I give her a tight-lipped smile, but I don’t respond to what she says. She’s a lot prettier in real life than in the pictures and her skin looks absolutely flawless. She’s not dressed in anything fancy, but I can tell that she’s the type of person that could make “sloppy” look glamorous as she stands next to me in jeans and a hoodie with a tank top underneath. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and her face, which shows minimal to no sign of makeup, is fresh looking. And just like that, my insecurity is back and we haven’t even exchanged names. But I know who she is. She’s the girlfriend.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Again you guys, thank you all SO much for reading and reviewing. It really means a lot to me and I'm glad that everyone is enjoying the story so far.
Now this chapter ends a little ominously, but it will be fixed very soon so no worries! Enjoy.
Now this chapter ends a little ominously, but it will be fixed very soon so no worries! Enjoy.
Chapter End Notes:
Lyrics Credit: "Like I Love You" by Justin Timberlake, "My Love" by Justin Timberlake
Story Tags: love tourj soloj justin dancer college
