“Welcome to Atlanta”, I say quietly to myself. It’s about 7:45 in the morning and all the other girls are still asleep and won’t be up for another hour or so. Surprisingly, I didn’t sleep most of the way here. My mind was just spinning after everything my sister and I had talked about in Memphis, especially about him. No, not the gorgeous, blue-eyed crooner that I’ve been drooling over since I became a visitor on this tour, but another blue-eyed individual who captured my heart…only to stomp on it in the end.
I thought the world of Damien Gable when he joined our class during my freshman year of high school. He was one of the many newbies that had replaced all my other friends who had decided to attend public high school. His family had relocated from San Francisco after his father had gotten a better paying job in L.A.; however Damien’s dad must have negotiated for a few more zeros to his paycheck because they were far from the type of lifestyle that Ava and I were living. Plus it probably helped that his mother, Alison, was an English teacher at our school as well.
Despite our socioeconomic differences, Dame (my nickname for him) and I became close right from the start and it didn’t hurt that I thought he was attractive. Being in the same class with pretty much the same people for 12 years, I became a little more partial to the other white meat (if you know what I mean). Although he wasn’t the type of that made you do a double take, he was tall and built, thanks to years of playing football and basketball, had a beautiful smile, piercing blue eyes and dimples”my weakness. As one of his “lucky” girl friends, I had unlimited access to touch him for reasons that only I knew about. I swear hugging him was like a quickie: short, sweet, but always leaving me wanting more. And why did he have to smell so damn good? I swear I will never be able to think of the cologne Black by Kenneth Cole the same way again. Yeah, freshman year he had lit a fire within me.
But by sophomore year, the sweet and funny guy I had met a year before was no longer around. I don’t know what had happened during our summer vacation, but Dame had turned into a Grade-A jerk with his sarcasm, cynicism, and general irritability. By the end of that year, my flame for him had burned out.
Sophomore year was just horrible overall not only because of my social life, but because of my home life as well. While mom and Ava were constantly fighting about what she should do with her life, my health had decided to take a turn for the worst.
When my legs started feeling sore when I would walk home from school, I thought that my backpack, along with the textbooks and laptop I was carrying, were just taking their toll. But when I started losing weight, couldn’t bend down to tie my shoes, and couldn’t walk two blocks without stopping to rest, I knew something was wrong. After becoming a pincushion due to various blood tests, I was told that I had Polymyositis.
Now what the fuck is that you ask? Well apparently, I developed an autoimmune disease in which my immune system decided to attack itself via my muscles, causing them to inflame and degenerate. I guess the only way I could describe it is feeling like I had worked out all day long and was completely sore all over my body. It’s too bad that I was feeling like that and hadn’t even been inside a gym. Add to the fact that I spent the last month of my summer vacation before junior year in the hospital due to medications that made me loose my hair, made me nauseous, and made my face look like that moon because it was so bloated. It’s obvious to say that I wasn’t feeling or looking my best.
Junior year, I got a snazzy golf cart to drive around campus in out of the deal, so I wasn’t complaining too much. My friends knew that I was going through a tough time and I had given them the readers digest version of what was happening to me, so they tried to help me in any way they could.
Dame always made sure to open doors and carry my books for me. I guess when your self-esteem is slowly dwindling down to nothing; the smallest gesture can make you have a change of heart. That’s what happened to me with Damien and by the time winter vacation approached, I had fallen for him all over again. I wasn’t the only culprit though; him being his natural flirty self and letting me call his lap my home didn’t help change my feelings toward him either. But the shit started to hit the fan when people started getting nosy and putting two and two together.
I knew Dame had found out I liked him when he stopped talking to me and being so touchy-feely with me. It sucked, but I kind of understood his position because he didn’t want to make things awkward between us”too late for that though. When my 17th birthday rolled around in March, I knew that I had some damage repair to do so I confronted him during one our free periods. I asked him how long he had known and how he felt about my crush, and he told me that one of our other friends had told him and that he wasn’t ready for such a commitment.
Did it hurt to hear him say that? Yes. But I also understood where he was coming from and by that point; I just wanted my friend back. I never knew I could be lied to through a smile, but that’s exactly what Dame did to me after we “agreed” on getting back on track.
Damien didn’t talk to me for the rest of the school year and didn’t say too much to me during our senior year either. He went so much as to pretend that I didn’t even exist when I would be around our other friends or standing right in front him.
I didn’t understand what I did wrong and to this day, I still don’t. I thought I had fixed things for the better. But when I would go home and cry myself to sleep almost every night until I graduated, I realized just how fucked up things were and still are. I didn’t expect to lose a friend over something so trivial and I hate the fact that I still allow it come to the surface and cause me such pain.
But the one thing that I never expected to happen was for me to fall in love with the cause of that pain.
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Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia, 3:25 p.m.
“That is super cold-blooded Nick!”
“What?! I just wasn’t feeling her, but I didn’t want to break it to her before the dance…so I just ditched her once we got there.”
The guy dancers and I are laughing at Nick’s bullshit excuse for ditching his junior prom date simply because he didn’t find her attractive. Men, I swear. I’m hanging out on stage with them as the girls go over some last minute costume adjustments in their dressing room.
I must say that not only are the guys attractive, but they are quite hilarious as well”Eddie often times being the clown out of all four of them. But now it’s Nick’s turn in the spotlight and for some reason, I can’t keep my eyes off of him.
Today has been pretty beneficial for Nick and I in terms of us getting to know each other. Since they didn’t have to be at the area until two, the dancers and I decided to head to the Atlantic Station, an outdoor mall a few minutes away from our hotel. It was while we were in Guess with Nancy and Marty that I found out a little bit more about the guy that scared the hell out of me in that Memphis elevator.
I found out that he’s 25, has been dancing since he was six, and has a weakness for chocolate ice cream. I told him that I am 19, like to write, and my guilty pleasure is Red Vines. I even told him that I took ballet, tap, and jazz for nine years to which he requested that I dust off my old moves and show him a little something once we got to the arena. It’s been seven years since I’ve put on a ballet shoe so I don’t plan on making an ass of myself in front of someone who gets paid to dance.
It’s crazy to me that a guy who’s as smooth as ice on stage when he dances is so shy and reserved when he talks to me. But I can’t help but find that shy smile of his so damn cute. We even sat next to each other on the ride to the arena”with my sister giving me the stink eye the whole way. I hate to even give her the slightest inkling that she may be right about me and the matters of my heart. But then again, I’ve only known Nick one day and I’m starting to feel like how I felt when I first saw Damien. I just hope that my problem of mistaking the smallest bit of attraction that Nick may be feeling for me for true love won’t arise, because being “in love” all alone is no fun.
“So little one, you planning on coming out to the club with us tonight?” Eddie asks me excitedly.
“To the club?” I question confusedly. Ava didn’t mention anything about going out after the show…but now I know why. Bish.
“Eddie, have you forgotten how old I am already? I got two more years until the majors so it looks like I’ll just be chilling in my hotel room by myself,” I sigh.
“Aww damn,” Eddie replies disappointedly. “I was looking forward to seeing if the Bernstine dance genes had been passed on.”
I giggle at his response. “Well, maybe we’ll just have to have our own private party,” I say while jokingly getting my flirt on. “What do you think about that?”
“You ain’t having a damn tea party unless I’m there,” my sister interrupts. Damn, she’s forever cockblocking. The guys instantly crack up at my sister’s remark, while Eddie shoots me a wink on the low. I guess it’s back to work for them so I tell Ava that I’m going to chill in the girl’s dressing room while they finish rehearsing.
I’m making my way toward my destination with some N.E.R.D. bumping on my iPod. I’m so into the chorus of “Things Are Getting Better,” that I don’t see that I’m about to collide with another person and when I do, my iPod goes crashing to the floor.
“Shit! I’m so sorry,” an apologetic voice with a hint southern twang says to me. I see one of his beautiful, but massive hands collect my iPod from the floor then simultaneously, my browns meet his blues.
“It-it’s okay. I should have been watching where I was going.” Why does this man always turn me into a blubbering fool?
“N.E.R.D. huh? What do you know about them?” Justin questions me with a cocky smirk. Um, is he for real with this question right now?
“Psh, what do I know about them? The fact that they are musical geniuses that make hits, not only for other artists, but can hold their own when they make songs for themselves. Seems like you needed a little bit of their flavor for your debut, eh Timberlake?” I cross my arms over my chest and cock an eyebrow at him.
Looking me up and down, he’s quiet for a moment before he does that deep chuckle that makes all his female fans (including me) need to change their panties. But he doesn’t need to know all that.
“I was just going to tell you that you’re listening to one of my favorite songs off of that album, but you sure did school me,” he says, making his Tennessee accent more apparent before running his tongue over his lips. Yeah, I’m going to need that new pair panties right about now.
“O-oh, well um, that’s cool…yeah I like that song a lot.” Shit, there I go stuttering again.
“Do you like ‘Brain’?”
“ ‘Brain’?!” I exclaim louder than normal. I think my actual brain just short-circuited.
“Track three, ‘Brain’? Do you like that song?” He asks, but from the mischievous glint in his eyes I think he did that shit on purpose to get a reaction out of me. Sexy bastard.
“Yeah…I like ‘Brain’ a lot,” I reply while giving him my doe-eyed innocent look. I see his face visibly shift at my response. I guess “SexyBack” wasn’t ready for that was he?
“C-cool,” he stammers before clearing his voice. “Well here’s your iPod. I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Definitely,” I say as he hands me my musical device. I know I let my fingers graze his a little longer on purpose, but I’m just fucking with the man. Like I’ve said before, I know he’s off limits and he would never try anything with me. But if he wants to play the “F” card, I’m willing to meet his match. I just hope “F” stands for flirting in his mind like it does in mine.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hope you guys enjoy this update, it's going to explain and clear up some things about Selah. Thanks again for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it. : )
Story Tags: love tourj soloj justin dancer college
