August 16th; Four Seasons Hotel, New York, New York
I have the worst headache right now. Not because I’m sick, hungry, or having side effects of PMS, but from listening to my sister freak out about tonight’s show. Now for everyone who’s coming to see the FutureSex/LoveShow for the first or infinite time, this will be an awesome, entertaining, and (for the ladies) panty wetting experience.
But for Justin, the band, the dancers and the rest of the crew, this is one of the most important shows on the tour. Why? Because HBO will be taping tonight’s concert and airing it on Labor Day for one of their concert specials.
Everyone has had the jitters all week and up until yesterday, Ava was doing just fine. Now this chick is pacing around our hotel room like an ant on an anthill. It is too early in the morning for all this.
“ ‘La, this is major girl…I mean major,” she says wringing her hands together before dropping them.
“Yes Ava, I know. But you need to calm down; this show isn’t going to be any different than the others except for a few cameras. If you keep thinking about that, then yeah, you are going to fuck up,” I tell her honestly. “Now stop pacing, you’re making my head hurt.”
She finally stops pacing and throws herself down onto the bed. “Ugh, I’m sorry ‘La. I just…this is something that I’ve been waiting for my whole life and I just don’t want to mess it up.”
“Then stop worrying about messing up and you won’t. You’re good”scratch that, amazing at what you do and you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. So go out there tonight, approach it like any other show, and kill it. Besides, it’s my job to worry,” I joke while giving her a smile.
She returns it. “When the hell did you get so wise?”
“Trick please, I’m a guru; you ain’t know?” I say before laughing.
“Yeah, yeah…but what you don’t know is that someone has been asking about you…” she says before walking into the bathroom.
“WHO?!!” I enquire excitedly. I obviously have an idea of who it is, I mean Nick and I have been spending more time together and trying to get to know each other better.
“Oh you know…he’s bringin’ sexy back,” she says as she pokes her head out of the bathroom to see my reaction.
Ok, that’s so not the person I was expecting. What the hell is Justin Timberlake doing asking about me? Even though I’m confused as I don’t know what, a small smile can’t help but break out onto my face.
“Justin? What’s he asking about me for?” I ask, truly interested in my sister’s explanation.
“Look at you, just cheesin’ from ear to ear,” she says while shaking her head and mirroring my smile. “Surprisingly, he asked me where you get all that attitude from.”
“Attitude? Is he still smoking that stuff?”
My sister breaks out into a hearty laugh. “Shut up! He told me that you musically schooled him back in Atlanta. Now how in the hell is that even possible?”
“Psh, he came at me sideways, probably thinking that all I listen to is hip-hop and rap. I was listening to some N.E.R.D., we ran into each other”literally, he asked me what I know about them and I gave him some knowledge,” I reply matter of factly.
“So he didn’t try to flirt with you or anything? Because you of all people should know how big of a flirt Justin is when he’s talking to a female.” Shit, did he mention to her about my lingering fingers or that “Brain” innuendo?
“No…he was being Justin I guess,” I say hoping that Ava can’t hear the nervousness in my voice.
“Remember what I said in the beginning ‘La, he is the Mona Lisa; you look, but you don’t touch. Besides, I saw you talking to Jessica when we were in Memphis…I also saw your face too,” she chuckles. “What, she was all in your business?”
“That and asking me 21 questions and crap, it was annoying as hell. But A, you know what really pisses me off about her?” I ask before sighing.
My sister makes her way out of the bathroom and sits on the bed next to me. “Besides the fact that she’s getting what you want on the daily? What else have you decided to hate about her?”
“The fact that I can’t find one reason to dislike her. Ugh, why does she have to be so nice…so beautiful?” Damn, here I go feeling sorry for myself again.
“Selah, look at me,” my sister says to me before I oblige. “I know these last few years have been hard on you with everything that you’ve been through. But that doesn’t make you any less beautiful than these girls out here and I’m not saying this just because I’m your sister. I want to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone okay?”
My eyebrows crease in curiosity because my sister generally tells me everything, but I nod anyway. “Okay.”
“Remember when I would go with you to the hospital for your IV treatments?”
Why is she bringing this up? Better yet, why is my heart starting to race? “Yeah?”
“Well, when you would be sleeping because the medicine would make you tired…those were the times when I broke down. For the first time in my life I felt so helpless, like I couldn’t save you from this bullshit illness and it was so unfair; hell it still is since you’re still taking that god awful medication.”
Methotrexate, the medication I take weekly in order to keep my Polymyositis under control. I don’t like taking it either, since it makes me feel like crap, but I do what I have to do, side effects and all.
“You’re my baby sister, but ‘La you have no idea how much I admire you for your strength during all of that.”
I’m trying to digest all of what my sister has just shared with me. Ava hardly ever cries, in fact the last time I saw her cry was when our grandmother passed away and that was three years ago. But hearing her say all this breaks my heart a little bit. I mean I wasn’t dying per say, but I was pretty sickly.
It would have been easy for me to break down and have a pity party for myself”not to say that I didn’t sometimes”but that wasn’t going to help me get any better so I had to be strong. I guess it’s been harder for me to deal with the after affects than when I was actually sick.
I place a kiss to my sister’s temple. “I know; I don’t enjoy taking that shit medication either. But I’m still here and I’m a hell of a lot better than I was, so no tears ok? Besides, I can’t be strong when my big sister isn’t being a prime example,” I say while grinning at her. I feel better when she returns it, knowing that things are okay again.
“Now while I appreciate this heart-to-heart we just had, enough about me; it’s time to go get our grub on.”
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Ava and I finally make it downstairs to meet everyone for breakfast. We walk in to a chorus of “Good morning’s” and “What’s up’s” from everyone as we make our way to the long table. I catch Nick’s eye as he sends me a smile and a wink, noticing an empty seat next to him. Did he save a seat for me? Now he is just too cute.
“Good morning,” I say to him after taking my seat.
“Good morning beautiful.” Oh sweet lord, my cheeks are burning I’m smiling so hard.
It’s been a little over a week since I’ve been on the tour and things have been a bit busy and hectic, but somehow Nick and I have been making time to talk and learn more about each other a little bit each day. Now don’t get me wrong, he’s everything that I would like in a guy: attractive, intelligent, funny, talented, and sweet, but I’m still trying to feel him out and see what he’s about. The past has made me very cautious about whom I trust and give my heart to and even though Nick seems like a great catch, I’m not planning on scooping him up or vice versa just yet.
“Did you sleep well?” He asks quietly.
“Yes, I did thank you,” I reply with a smile. “You ready for tonight?”
“You mean the show or after the show,” he says jokingly.
I just shake my head and laugh. “You perv, you know damn well what I’m talking about.”
“Yeah, I’m ready…excited too.”
“Good, you’re going to do great…Mr. Smooth,” I say before giving him a wink and getting up to go get some food. I nicknamed him that since he’s so smooth, clean and precise when he dances.
I’m starving so I’m piling on just about everything that is offered at this breakfast buffet: scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage, fruit, some orange juice and a muffin for later. Salivating over my delicious breakfast and making a beeline toward the table, I bump into a hard body and spill my orange juice all over their shirt.
“You know, we have got to stop meeting like this,” Justin says amusedly. I however couldn’t find this situation more humiliating.
“Justin, oh my god I am so sorry. Shit…I’m so embarrassed.”
“You’re embarrassed? You’re not the one with orange juice all over their chest,” he says chuckling. Okay, did he have to mention his washboard abs? Now is not the time.
Setting my food tray down, I grab a few napkins and start dabbing at his shirt, trying to get as much of the juice soaked up as possible.
“Selah,” he says quietly, but I just keep on dabbing. I feel horrible and embarrassed, plus I don’t need to be kick off of this tour because the main attraction got mad at me.
“Selah, stop it,” he says again before taking my wrists in each of his massive hands. Well that stopped my frantic movements.
“It’s okay. I mean, I like this shirt and all but I have other ones. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m sorry,” I say covering my face in my hands. “I’m so damn clumsy and I just…I’m sorry. I hope you’re not too upset.”
Lifting my chin with his hand, his blues meet my browns and he gives me that infamous lopsided grin. “Hey, didn’t I tell you it was cool? I have plenty of shirts upstairs. And I’m not mad at you, so relax okay?” He says to me almost as quietly as he did when he first said my name.
Yeah, we really should not be looking at each other like this.
Suddenly I hear someone clearing their throat and I’m snapped out my trance. Nick.
“Hey, is everything…alright back here?” He asks awkwardly. “It’s just you were taking so long to come back”“
“Everything is cool man,” Justin interrupts. “We just had a little accident,” he explains while turning around to show Nick is juice stained shirt.
“Oh…ok, well ‘La do you want me to take your food back to the table for you?” Nick asks me.
“Yeah Nick, that would be great. Thank you.” Grabbing my tray and giving Justin a nod, Nick makes his way back to the table.
“Well that was kind of awkward huh?” Justin asks while chuckling.
I laugh nervously in response. “Yeah…it was. I don’t know why exactly.” I’m going to hell for all the lying I’ve been doing lately.
“He likes you, pure and simple.”
“And how do you know that? We’ve only known each other a week” I say, cocking an eyebrow at him.
“ I can just tell and I don’t know of anyone whose feelings act on a timeline. Do you?” he asks with some attitude. That’s a good question, but I think this conversation just hit a whole new level.
“So is this your way of teaching me some type lesson since I musically schooled you about N.E.R.D.?” I say, trying to lighten up our conversation.
He smirks. “Your sister told you what I said? Damn, can’t trust nobody around here,” he says jokingly.
“I also have an ‘attitude’? Really Mr. Timberlake? I mean, I guess it’s better than what’s generally said about me or what I’m usually called.”
“And what’s that?”
“A bitch,” I reply simply.
He just laughs at my bluntness. “Yeah, well from these few conversations that we’ve had with each other, you Miss Bernstine are one bad bitch.”
I chuckle at his cliché comment. “I know. You sure you aren’t going to send me back to L.A. with my tail between my legs for not only schooling you, but spilling juice on you too?”
“Now why would I do that? I’m a southern gentleman, emphasis on gentle. Besides, I have a feeling that I’m going to like having you around Miss Bernstine. I’ll see you later,” he says before walking off.
It should be a damn crime to be that fine and intellectual because that is a dangerous combination. This man has got my mind going a hundred miles and hour and shit just based off of a conversation.
How does he know if Nick likes me like that? Hell, I’ve been known to develop a “crush” on a guy right after meeting him or spending time with him, but that’s just how crazy I used to be when it came to guys. But it’s only been 10 days and although I’m feeling Nick, I don’t want us to get in over our heads about feelings and shit when we just met. I like where we are right now. I’m not saying that nothing is there; it’s just that I want to give it time to grow properly and on my terms.
I guess I’m a bit afraid that what I could eventually feel for Nick and what he may be feeling for me has the potential of being something real. While that excites me, it scares the hell out of me too. I don’t want it to ultimately end up as a failure like all my other pursuits with the opposite sex. I think that’s why I’m not so afraid of “falling” for Justin because like my sister said, he’s just the dream or the ultimate fantasy. It’s not like he’ll ever be mine and I like being able to get underneath his skin without the complication of feelings being involved, so I’m going to keep it that way. He’s just going to have to turn down the sexy and no one will get hurt.
Getting a new glass of orange juice, I make my way back to the table where all eyes are on me. I hate it when people stare.
“What?” I say with a pinch of attitude.
“Is everything ok? You were gone for a bit so we sent Nick to investigate,” Michele responds.
“Everything is fine, he didn’t tell you? I accidentally ran into Justin and spilled my juice all over him. Me and clumsy ass,” I explain, laughing.
Satisfied with my explanation, everyone gets back to their previous conversations and I start digging into my food.
I feel Nick’s eyes on me as I’m taking my first bite. I have a feeling he wants to know what the hell he witnessed between Justin and I when he walked up. But instead of explaining myself, I reach for his hand that’s in his lap as a way of signifying that he has nothing to worry about and I fuse it with mine.
His eyes follow our joined hands and he gives me that shy smile of his that I love so much and as I look into his sleepy blue eyes, I know that we’re cool.
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Madison Square Garden, 7:30 p.m.
There’s definitely a buzz in the air as I sit in the girls’ dressing room with my headphones in my ear. I nod my head as the first few notes of “Whine Up” by Kat DeLuna hit my ears and watch my sister and the rest of the girls stretch and put on their costumes. I’m excited for tonight’s show; it just feels like it’s going to be amazing even though I’ve seen it six times already. I soon feel a tap on my shoulder and I take out one of my ear buds.
“Hey girl!” Dana says excitedly. “Take those things out of your ears, you know it’s time to have our gossip ritual.”
Ah yes, the gossip ritual. How girly of us right? But I think it helps the girls get their pre-concert jitters out so that they’re focused when it comes to show time.
“So, who’s trying to hit the club tonight after the show?” Michele asks.
“I think everyone is since it’s our last night in New York,” Nancy responds. “Where we going?”
“Where it’s crackin’!” My sister says with her ghetto self. The rest of the girls laugh while I shake my head.
“Well, of course it has to be crackin’, but it also has to be a place that’s cool enough to let the little one in,” Michele says as she turns her gaze over to me.
“Me?” I ask surprised. “I don’t know ya’ll. Hell it’s hard enough using Ava’s old ID at the 21 and over clubs when I’m at home.”
“That’s because you and your fast-ass friends need to be at home,” my sister retorts. I swear this chick never wants me to have any fun.
“Whatever,” I say while rolling my eyes. “You guys think ya’ll can get me into a club tonight?”
“Heck yeah,” Tammy jumps in. “I mean, you look old enough. Plus you have one slight advantage over any other person trying to get in.”
“And what’s that?” I ask.
“Justin Timberlake,” she says with a sly grin. “Girl, it’s going to be you, us girls, the guys, the rest of the crew, and Justin. We’re about to own this club tonight.”
I guess I had forgot about the superstar. Tammy is right, I do look old enough; I just won’t drink. It has been a while since I got my dance on too and hopefully if this works out, I’ll get to see how Nick works it when he’s not on stage.
“So you in little one?” Michele asks.
I take a second to get a look at all the girls before answering.
“I’m in.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey everyone, sorry this chapter is a little bit on the short side. But I feel that the next chapter will definitely make up for it. Until then, enjoy your read!
Story Tags: love tourj soloj justin dancer college
