Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh I believe in yesterday

Janelle felt the pain rip through her chest like nothing had ever done before. There was no way this could be really happening, she hadn't done anything wrong. She had a feeling when she came to the hotel tonight. He said he needed to talk to her, that it was extremely important that she get there as soon as possible.

                From the tone of his voice, she knew nothing good was going to come out of this conversation.

                Walking down the hallway to his suite, she noticed the look of pity on Mike's face, shame on Lonnie's, and embarrassment on Rachael's. She knew what was coming before she even raised her tiny fist to knock on the door. As her left hand came up, she looked at the 5 carat princess cut diamond engagement ring set in 24 carat white gold matching the 3 carat wedding band. The sight took her back to her wedding day, some 3 years before.

                "Do you, Justin Randall Timberlake, take Janelle Hope Fick, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" the priest asked, holding both her and Justin's left hands together in both of his.

                Looking up into her soon-to-be husband's eyes, she smiled at the love she saw shining back in them. This is the look that she would get to see for the rest of her life. This man was who she was going to get to go home to every night, to hold her as they slept the night away. "I do."

                "And do you, Janelle Hope Fick, take Justin Randall Timberlake, to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

                Nodding at his encouraging smile, she confidently said, "I do."

                "By the power vested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you man and wife. Justin, you may kiss your bride."

                Before the priest could even finish his words, Justin wrapped his strong arms around her waist and pulled her close. Dipping his head down, he firmly pressed his lips to hers in the most passionate kiss that they had ever experienced in their entire lives.

                "Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Justin Timberlake!"

                Holding her eyes tight closed, trying to fight off the tears that she knew were coming, Janelle connected her fist to the door at last. Backing away, she wrapped her purse around her tighter, wishing in some way that it would be able to shield away the pain that she knew was going to be affecting her tonight. She could already feel it start to creep into her chest again, starting from the tips of her toes and moving upward.

                She had felt pain like this before, when her mother was killed by a drunk driver on her 23rd birthday. She felt this pain at the exact moment her mother was hit, and she hadn't even known what was going on. But she knew what the pain meant. It meant the same thing that it did back then.

                Life as she knew it was about to end.

                Feeling herself start to hyperventilate, she bent over to try to force the air into her lungs and clear her head. As her eyes slowly started to clear, she opened them. And there standing in front of her was the one man she longed to see, yet at the same time dreaded that exact moment. Her eyes traveled from his feet, up his sweat pant clad legs, to the t-shirt that clung to those biceps that she loved to have wrapped around her every night, to his eyes.

                In those blues she could read everything. She knew as soon as she saw his eyes.

                It was over.

                After staring at him for a few minutes, the man forced himself to look away. He knew that she knew already, but he also knew that she was going to force him to tell her everything. She was going to go over every detail, and she'd want to know why. There was no rhyme or reason for what he had done. He had regretted it ever since. He wanted to prove that to her.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me

Oh yesterday came suddenly

                Grasping her hand and having to fight to hold onto it because she tried to pull away, he coaxed her into his hotel suite.

                "Ellie, you want to sit down?" he asked gently.

                "Don't call me that right now, Justin. Please, just don't call me that." The nickname was too painful for her to hear coming out of his mouth right now.

                Justin hung his head. "Ok, Janelle, will you please sit down?"

                She nodded her head and sat down in the single, overstuffed chair in the living room. Doing so forced him to sit away from her, far enough that she wouldn't be able to hit him. Yet close enough that she could still look into those eyes to see if he was telling the truth.

                "Tell me, Justin. Just put it out there and get it over with. You know that I already know."

                "So if you already know, why do I have to tell you?"

                "Because I want to hear you say it, damn it! I want you to admit it like the no-good, shit-eating asshole that you are!" Janelle screamed. Breathing in heavily, she made herself calm down. This would not be good for her health if she kept hyperventilating this way.

                Wincing his eyes shut, he turned his head away. He knew Janelle was close to tears, he could hear it in her voice even though she was yelling at him. He knew what he was about to tell her was going to break her. He knew it could be just as bad if not worse than when her mom died. He knew it would be worse because when her mom died, he was there to pull her out of her depression and get her started again. Now he would be the cause of that depression, and that thought alone had been eating him alive. It started the morning after, and had gotten progressively worse over the last few weeks.

                All the guys tried to stop him, they tried to help him walk away. But he couldn't. And he has no one to blame but himself.

                Forcing himself to get the worst part over, he opened his mouth, "I slept with someone, Janelle. I had an affair."

                The tears came then. Without sound, a waterfall came pouring from her eyes, down her cheeks, and into her hands that were holding her head up as she stared at him. The pain in her chest finally ripped all the way through, hurtful enough to make her keel over her knees as the tears flowed harder.

                Justin couldn't look. He was never able to see her cry before, let alone watch tears come down her gorgeous face that were caused by himself. He thought he heard her say something, but couldn't quite tell because her sobs has become vocal now.

                "WHO THE HELL WAS IT JUSTIN!" she finally yelled as she lifted her head up. "Or should I say ‘who is it?' Are you still with her? Were you with her last night when you called me at home, telling me I needed to meet you here today? Did you fuck her last night, too? Or was it a one-time thing? Fuck, Justin! Answer me already!"

                Justin put his hands on both sides of his head. How was he supposed to tell her that he had slept with her best friend? Her best friend who still lives in New York, where he met Janelle. Her best friend who was the maid of honor in their wedding. Her best friend who she had known since she was five.

Why she had to go

I don't know, she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

                And yet again, Janelle could read it in his eyes. And this time, she didn't want to believe what she was seeing. She tried to force herself to look away before her mind could confirm it, but it was no use. She had stared just long enough to see the guilt and betrayal in his eyes. "Aimee." That one word was all she had to say, and Justin could only nod his head.

                Janelle's thoughts raced back to all her treasured memories of herself and her best friend. The times while they were growing up playing out in the street, drawing houses in chalk on her driveway. Pretending that one day, some day in the future, they would own mansions and live the life they had always dreamed of. To growing up a little bit more and starting middle school together. They had all the same teachers and both developed their first crush on the same person; their gym teacher, Troy Jacobson.

                Aimee had always been boy crazy, a lot more so than Janelle. But it was always ok because they had two completely different tastes. Aimee always went after every guy that she could get her hands on, having strings of short-term relationships that never amounted to anything but another person to have sex with. Whereas Janelle was the exact opposite. When she started dating someone, she would only do it because she knew that there was something between them, something that would last for more than just a month or two. Janelle lived for the long-term relationships. She loved to feel connected with someone.

                But she has always trusted Aimee, even as they graduated high school and went to different colleges. They would drive across states just to see each other, because they had that sort of friendship that one would do anything for the other. They had been there for each other through everything. Aimee had missed walking at her own college graduation because of the death of Janelle's mom. She drove straight through the night to be there as soon as she possibly could. Two years later, she was holding the train to Janelle's wedding dress as she walked down the aisle. She made the toast at their reception, wishing them a long and happy life together.

                What the hell had happened?  What had she done?

                "When Justin. I need to know how this happened. And I need to know if it is still happening."

                Sighing, he looked up at his wife. "I don't know how it happened, really. I had been in New York for a while, recording the new album and everything. She had been going out a lot with me and Tim and the guys, and you weren't coming out to see me. So, one night she showed up with a bottle of wine, and before I knew it we were in bed together. I honestly don't know how it happened, Ellie. We were just talking one moment, and the next moment she was rolling off me. God, I really don't know how it happened. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I don't know what to do or say right now."

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh I believe in yesterday

                "It just happened? You started drinking wine and you just suddenly fell on the bed with her sitting on your cock?" Janelle asked. Her voice had become void of all emotion.

                "I don't know. I really don't remember anything after drinking the first glass of wine until I was pushing her off of me in bed. I honestly don't know. Please Ellie, you have to say you believe me. I never wanted this to happen."

                "Don't call me that, Justin. That is not a name that is to come out of your lips anymore. That name was reserved for my husband, which as of right now you are not." Turning her head away from him, silent tears started to slip down her face again.

                Justin stood up and started walking toward her. He wanted to make sure that she knew it was all a mistake. He wanted to make sure that she knew he would do anything to save their marriage, anything to have them back to what they were before he had screwed up their relationship. "Don't do this, please Janelle. I'm still your husband, I'm still right here. I'll do anything, anything at all. We can move away to Morocco, start a new life where no one knows us." Justin dropped to his knees in front of her, reaching for her hands. He just needed to hold her hand. He started to cry when she pulled her hands into her chest and cowered into the chair. "God, please don't do this. I love you, Janelle Timberlake. It was a mistake, one that I would do anything to reverse. But I can't turn back time and I can't take it away. But I can try to make up for it. I will make up for it until the day that I die, as long as it means that I can have you back in my arms again."

                His crying was reaching out to her, but she couldn't break. What was happening between them was his fault. He brought his pain on himself. He would go away for weeks, months at a time, and she never thought to turn to someone else. She never dreamed of finding another man, because to her, Justin was all she could ever want. He was her Prince Charming, he was her Knight in Shining Armor, he was her soul mate.

                But he could easily turn to the arms of another, the arms of her best friend because he got a little lonely in New York. She was working, for heaven's sake! Taking care of HIS record label, HIS artists, HIS charities. She was doing his bitch work for him, so that he could take all of his precious time to record this new album.

                Standing up, she pushed him away from her chair with her feet giving her room to place them on the ground. His eyes lit up, thinking that his begging and pleading might have gotten him somewhere. He stretched his arms out to pull her into them, and she turned and walked the other way.

                She walked straight to the table in the hallway where she had left her purse, the purse that she hoped to use as a shield. But she knew no purse, no keflar vest, no object, could protect what she felt right now. This pain was caused on the inside, and only time and love could heal it.

                Tossing the white bag over her shoulder, she turned to look at him. "Justin, I love you. With all of my heart do I love you. I probably always will, no matter what happens after this. You are my other half, my soul mate. But I don't know if I can forgive you for this. Every time I look at you right now, I see her hands on you. I see her lips going in places that only I should have ever seen. I see your hands on her, when the only woman they should have been on is me. I don't know how to trust you anymore, and I don't know what to say. Looking at you tears my heart to pieces, and I was already trying to pick it up off the floor before I even walked into this room tonight."

                Turning to walk away, Justin tried one last ditch effort to get her to stay. He grabbed her arms and spun her around to face him. Without hesitation, he crushed his lips to hers and pulled her as close to him as humanly possible. Massaging her lips with his own, he waited for her reaction. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and traced the lining of her lips, seeking an entrance. But she granted none. Defeated, he backed away and stared at her. "I love you Janelle, I'll say it over and over until you believe me that this was a mistake. I'll repeat it until you take me back, until you let me make everything better again."

                Shaking her head no, Janelle turned to the door and gripped the handle. Opening the door just slightly, she turned back to look at him one last time. "Justin..." she started off slowly. "Don't call me. Don't look for me. Don't send anyone after me to follow me. Leave me be. I have some thinking to do. And make sure you let Aimee know that I do not want to hear from her in any way, shape or form either. Can you do that for me?" He nodded his head yes. "Ok, I'm going to go away for a while. I need some time to sort everything out in my head. I'll call you when I know what I'm going to do."

                "How long is it going to be? I'm going to be dying not able to talk to you, to call you. How long should I have to wait?"

                "Justin, if you love me, you'll wait as long as it takes to clear my head."

Putting one foot out of the door, she turned back to add one last thing. It was something that he had been hoping to hear from her since the day that they were wed. "I'm pregnant. You'll know sometime before our baby is born."

Why'd she have to go?

I don't know, she wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh I believe in yesterday