Los Angeles, CA

                Motioning to the bartender for another double Jack on the rocks, Justin ran his finger around the rim of his empty glass. He couldn't remember how many drinks he had had, nor could he remember where he was at.

                All he could think about was Janelle walking out the door of his hotel room that night in New York, not looking back or answering when he told her he loved her. He still remembered her face when she figured out who he had slept with, it haunted his waking thoughts and his dreams. It had been three weeks since she had left him, and she still hadn't called.

                He had tried calling her, but her cell phone was either shut off or she had blocked his number. Being away from her right now was tearing him apart. The fact that she was carrying his child was eating him alive. He wanted to be there for her, through the good and the bad. He wanted to be able to watch her tiny belly grow, with his child inside of it. He wanted to see that "glow" that he had heard pregnant women got. He just wanted to see her.

                He had never regretted anything more in his life, and he had done some stupid things in his 29 years. Yet the funny thing was, he was being honest when he told her he didn't know how everything happened with Aimee. He remembered sitting down in the living room with the two glasses and the bottle of wine. He remembered talking to her about Janelle, and how she wanted to have a child so badly. They had talked a little about his new album, a little about her job, and a little about the crazy things that her and Janelle had done when they were younger. The last thing his mind could recollect was putting the glasses back in the sink and Aimee coming into the kitchen.

                Everything after that was just grey.

                He nodded to the bartender as the man sat another glass of the tan liquid in front of him. Immediately Justin raised the glass to his lips and chugged a solid half of the bitter substance, not ever grimacing as it raced down his throat because he was numb.

                Numb to everything.

                That was what he had been looking to do when he set out to the bar. The pain had been consuming him, and he needed to make it disappear if only for a little while.

                Justin picked up the glass and finished the rest of his drink, nodding for the bartender to fill him up again.

                "Hey man, you okay?" the man behind the bar asked.

                "Fine, just fill the damn drink," Justin spat.

                "Look, you've been here for a while. This is your ninth double shot of Jack. This is your last one man, sorry, but I'm cutting you off."

                "Cutting me off? Do you even know who I AM?" Justin belted out.

                The man shook his head, obviously not pleased that Justin was yelling at him. "I don't live under a rock, man, of course I know who you are. But I'm also not willing to lose my liquor license and my job if you leave here drunk and get in an accident. So last one. Is there anyone you want me to call to come and get you?"

                Grunting, Justin shook his head no. He chugged the last of his drink, and placed enough bills on the bar to more than cover his tab, along with a few other patron's tabs.

                As he got up to leave the bar, a song came on that jarred him still. He had always loved Babyface as a musician. But this was the last song he needed to hear at that moment.

When can my heart beat again

When does the pain ever end

When do the tears stop from running over

When does "you'll get over it" begin

I hear what you're saying

But I swear that it's not making sense

So when can I see you

When can I see you again

When can my heart beat again

When can I see you again

When can I breathe once again

And when can I see you

                The song just threw him back to missing his wife. He had screwed up, royally, and he knew that. But all he wanted was the chance to make everything right. He just wanted to prove to her that he knew what he had done was wrong, and he would show her that he would never make the same mistake twice.

And what if I'm still not truly over

What am I supposed to do then

Do you see what I am saying

Even if, if it's not making sense

So when can I see you...

                He missed her. He missed the way she would play with his curls while they were laying in bed together, twirling his hair between her fingers until he fell asleep. He missed waking up with her in his arms, and he missed seeing her eyes open with love when she woke up. He missed her randomly surprising him at the studio with a cup of coffee or some take-out. He missed the way she said his name while they were making love, and he missed the way she said "I love you".

                He missed everything about his wife.

                Sighing, Justin stepped into the back of the Escalade that Tiny was driving. There were times that he was so happy that he had his bodyguards around, especially at times like this. He knew he was too intoxicated to drive.

                Justin paused as he stepped into the backstage area of the Today Show. He was appearing that morning to talk to Regis and Kelly, and he had no clue what dressing room he was put in.

                He jumped on the opportunity to ask someone as he saw a girl walk by him, a pass hanging around her neck, symbolizing her as an employee of the show. "Excuse me, miss, but do you know what dressing room I am in today?"

                When the woman's head jerked up, his breath caught in his throat. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He couldn't take his eyes off her as her gaze connected to his.

                "Um...err...Jus...I mean Mr. Timberlake, you're uh, you're in room three. Shit, I mean four. Yeah, four," she stumbled over her words, obviously embarrassed.

                He smirked at her mumbling, it was actually pretty cute. He was used to girls becoming speechless in front of him, not to sound cocky or anything. But on her, it was intriguing. Working on the Today Show, she should be used to seeing celebrities by now. Unless she was new.

                "And room four would be...where?"

                "Oh! Um, I think it's down the hall, and to your left. I think."

                "You think? Are you new here?"

                "Yeah, can you tell?" she giggled.

                "No, not at all," he said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "How about we both go find it, so we both know where it is for future reference?"

                Leading her down the hall, he laughed to himself. Of course he already knew where room four was, he had been in this studio countless times. "So what's your name? Or are you not going to tell me..."

                "I don't know...should I trust you with my name? Or are you going to tell my boss that I couldn't even show you what dressing room you are in today?"

                Laughing, he shook his head no. "Of course not, we've all been the new guy at some point in time."

                "Well, in that case, my name is Janelle. Janelle Fick."

                "Fick?"

                "Yes, Fick. F-I-C-K," she spelled out.

                "Fick, as in fuck in German?"

                Janelle started laughing so hard her sides were hurting. "How the hell did you know what my name translated to?"

                "Well, ya know, I only spent a few years getting my career off the ground over there with the other guys. We learned a few necessary phrases, like Fick dich, and Du bist eine häβliche Schlampe."

                "Well, thank you for calling me a dirty whore, I never knew you felt that way about people you've just barely met."

                "Ok, how about Du bist ein schönes Mädchen, is that better?"

                "Why yes, much better. Danke schon, du bist sehr nett."

                "Where did you learn to speak German?"

                "My whole family is German, so I took it all through my school."

                "Well Janelle, my lovely new German friend, here is room number four. Will I see you again before I leave today?"

                Janelle nodded. "Actually, I'll be the one to come and get you when your stage time comes around."

                "Well then I'll see you in a little while, Janelle. It was a pleasure meeting you today."

                Justin smiled at the memory. She had been so innocent when he met her, it took so many tries for her to agree to going on a date with him. And all they did was go to dinner. But her hesitance was what had drawn him to her even more.

                He knew she wasn't after the Justin Timberlake, she genuinely wanted to get to know him.

He looked up, realizing they had already made it home. He hated being in this house without her here. Justin fumbled with the keys that were in his hand, not able to connect the key to the lock of his front door. After a few mistaken attempts, finally the two connected and he opened the door to his house.

                As soon as he stepped through the threshold, he almost jumped out of his skin at seeing his mother and Trace sitting in the chairs in his living room. He hadn't talked to them since everything had gone wrong with Janelle. He had been conveniently avoiding both of them.

                "Um, can I help you guys?" he mumbled, his head held low. Talk about a buzz kill.

                "Yes, is there anything you need to tell me, Justin? Starting with why you've been ignoring me for the past few weeks?"

                "Um...I don't know, is there?"

                "Don't pull that shit with me, young man. Where is Janelle? What the hell is going on with you right now?"

                He could tell his mom was furious, and Trace was doing nothing to aid him in the situation. He was just sitting in his chair, his gaze drifting back and forth between him and his mother like a tennis match.

                "She's not here."

                "Where is she?" Trace finally decided to jump into the conversation.

                "I don't know, she left me."

                "She WHAT?" they both yelled at the same time. "What the hell did you do?" Trace added.

                "I don't really want to talk about it. It's not a great topic for me right now."

                "Well, you best get past that, because I want to know exactly what you did to my daughter-in-law." Lynn crossed her arms over her chest and gave him the look. The look that meant he had no choice but to tell the two of them what had been going on.

                So he started from the beginning. He told them how he had been missing Janelle in New York, how he had been spending a lot of time with Aimee, and what had happened that fateful night that changed his life. He explained how he didn't remember anything that happened after they had drank that bottle of wine.

                "Justin, you never get drunk off a few glasses of wine. It takes you a little bit more than that. Who poured the wine?" Trace commented.

                "Um..." Justin scratched his head, trying to remember back. "I think it was her. Yeah, it was Aimee. She had come over and I was in my pajamas, so I went to change and she poured the wine."

                "Do you think she could have drugged it?" Lynn asked.

                "Aimee? Why would she drug me?"

                "I don't know, did you ever have an argument with her? Was she mad at Janelle for something? You tell us, Justin, what reasons could she have had?"

                Justin tried to think back if there was anything him or his wife had done to Aimee to make her angry. "I don't think so; I mean Aimee always was resentful of my relationship with Ellie. I guess when they were growing up, Aimee always got the guys and Ellie would just go along with her best friend. But I don't think that's enough for her to do anything to me."

                "It might be, Justin. You never know, I think you might need to have a little chat with Aimee and get this all sorted out," Trace said as he patted Justin on the shoulder. "You need to get Janelle back here. You need her, man. Do you have any clue where she could have gone?"

                "No, and I need her a lot more than you realize right now. There's something else I didn't get to tell you guys."

                "...and?" Lynn waited.

                "When Ellie came to New York to see me, when she found out about the affair, she had something that she needed to tell me. It was the last thing I ever expected her to tell me..." Justin droned off. He was just picturing his future child, would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have his eyes or her hair?

                "What was it Justin?" Trace questioned.

                "Ellie's pregnant." With that comment, he broke down in tears. Sobs wracked his body as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to free the pain from his body.

                Both Trace and Lynn gasped, not knowing what to say.

                "What have I done? How did I do this? How did I lose my family?" he whispered between cries.

Motioning to the bartender for another double Jack on the rocks, Justin ran his finger around the rim of his empty glass. He couldn’t remember how many drinks he had had, nor could he remember where he was at.

All he could think about was Janelle walking out the door of his hotel room that night in New York, not looking back or answering when he told her he loved her. He still remembered her face when she figured out who he had slept with, it haunted his waking thoughts and his dreams. It had been three weeks since she had left him, and she still hadn’t called.

He had tried calling her, but her cell phone was either shut off or she had blocked his number. Being away from her right now was tearing him apart. The fact that she was carrying his child was eating him alive. He wanted to be there for her, through the good and the bad. He wanted to be able to watch her tiny belly grow, with his child inside of it. He wanted to see that “glow” that he had heard pregnant women got. He just wanted to see her.

He had never regretted anything more in his life, and he had done some stupid things in his 29 years. Yet the funny thing was, he was being honest when he told her he didn’t know how everything happened with Aimee. He remembered sitting down in the living room with the two glasses and the bottle of wine. He remembered talking to her about Janelle, and how she wanted to have a child so badly. They had talked a little about his new album, a little about her job, and a little about the crazy things that her and Janelle had done when they were younger. The last thing his mind could recollect was putting the glasses back in the sink and Aimee coming into the kitchen.

Everything after that was just grey.

He nodded to the bartender as the man sat another glass of the tan liquid in front of him. Immediately Justin raised the glass to his lips and chugged a solid have of the bitter substance, not ever grimacing as it raced down his throat because he was numb.

Numb to everything.

That was what he had been looking to do when he set out to the bar. The pain had been consuming him, and he needed to make it disappear if only for a little while.

Justin picked up the glass and finished the rest of his drink, nodding for the bartender to fill him up again.

“Hey man, you okay?” the man behind the bar asked.

“Fine, just fill the damn drink,” Justin spat.

“Look, you’ve been here for a while. This is your ninth double shot of Jack. This is your last one man, sorry, but I’m cutting you off.”

“Cutting me off? Do you even know who I AM?” Justin belted out.

The man shook his head, obviously not pleased that Justin was yelling at him. “I don’t live under a rock, man, of course I know who you are. But I’m also not willing to lose my liquor license and my job if you leave here drunk and get in an accident. So last one. Is there anyone you want me to call to come and get you?”

Grunting, Justin shook his head no. He chugged the last of his drink, and placed enough bills on the bar to more than cover his tab, along with a few other patron’s tabs.

As he got up to leave the bar, a song came on that jarred him still. He had always loved Babyface, as a musician and as a person. But this was the last song he needed to hear at that moment.

When can my heart beat again

When does the pain ever end

When do the tears stop from running over

When does “you’ll get over it” begin

I hear what you’re saying

But I swear that it’s not making sense

So when can I see you

When can I see you again

When can my heart beat again

When can I see you again

When can I breathe once again

And when can I see you

The song just threw him back to missing his wife. He had screwed up, royally, and he knew that. But all he wanted was the chance to make everything right. He just wanted to prove to her that he knew what he had done wrong, and he would show her that he would never make the same mistake twice.

And what if I’m still not truly over

What am I supposed to do then

Do you see what I am saying

Even if, if it’s not making sense

So when can I see you…

He missed her. He missed the way she would play with his curls while they were laying in bed together, twirling his hair between her fingers until he fell asleep. He missed waking up with her in his arms, and he missed seeing her eyes open with love when she woke up. He missed her randomly surprising him at the studio with a cup of coffee or some take-out. He missed the way she said his name while they were making love, and he missed the way she said “I love you”.

He missed everything about his wife.

Sighing, Justin stepped into the back of the Escalade that Tiny was driving. There were times that he was so happy that he had his bodyguards around, especially at times like this. He knew he was too intoxicated to drive.

Justin paused as he stepped into the backstage area of the Today Show. He was appearing that morning to talk to Regis and Kelly, and he had no clue what dressing room he was put in.

He jumped on the opportunity to ask someone as he saw a girl walk by him, a pass hanging around her neck, symbolizing her as an employee of the show. “Excuse me, miss, but do you know what dressing room I am in today?”

When the woman’s head jerked up, his breath caught in his throat. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as her gaze connected to his.

“Um…err…Jus…I mean Mr. Timberlake, you’re uh, you’re in room three. Shit, I mean four. Yeah, four,” she stumbled over her words, obviously embarrassed.

He smirked at her mumbling, it was actually pretty cute. He was used to girls becoming speechless in front of him, not to sound cocky or anything. But on her, it was intriguing. Working on the Today Show, she should be used to seeing celebrities by now. Unless she was new.

“And room four would be…where?”

“Oh! Um, I think it’s down the hall, and to your left. I think.”

“You think? Are you new here?”

“Yeah, can you tell?” she giggled.

“No, not at all,” he said as he placed his hand on her shoulder. “How about we both go find it, so we both know where it is for future reference?”

Leading her down the hall, he laughed to himself. Of course he already knew where room four was, he had been in this studio countless times. “So what’s your name? Or are you not going to tell me…”

“I don’t know…should I trust you with my name? Or are you going to tell my boss that I couldn’t even show you what dressing room you are in today?”

Laughing, he shook his head no. “Of course not, we’ve all been the new guy at some point in time.”

“Well, in that case, my name is Janelle. Janelle Fick.”

“Fick?”

“Yes, Fick. F-I-C-K,” she spelled out.

“Fick, as in fuck in German?”

Janelle started laughing so hard her sides were hurting. “How the hell did you know what my name translated to?”

“Well, ya know, I only spent a few years getting my career off the ground over there with the other guys. We learned a few necessary phrases, like Fick dich, and Du bist eine häβliche Schlampe.”

“Well, thank you for calling me a dirty whore, I never knew you felt that way about people you’ve just barely met.”

“Ok, how about Du bist eine schöne Mädchen, is that better?”

“Why yes, much better. Danke schon, du bist sehr nett.”

“Where did you learn to speak German?”

“My whole family is German, so I took it all through my school.”

“Well Janelle, my lovely new German friend, here is room number four. Will I see you again before I leave today?”

Janelle nodded. “Actually, I’ll be the one to come and get you when your stage time comes around.”

“Well then I’ll see you in a little while, Janelle. It was a pleasure meeting you today.”

Justin smiled at the memory. She had been so innocent when he met her, it took so many tries for her to agree to going on a date with him. And all they did was go to dinner. But her hesitance was what had drawn him to her even more.

He knew she wasn’t after the Justin Timberlake, she genuinely wanted to get to know him.

He looked up, realizing they had already make it home. He hated being in this house without her here. Justin fumbled with the keys that were in his hand, not able to connect the key to the lock of his front door. After a few mistaken attempts, finally the two connected and he opened the door to his house.

As soon as he stepped through the threshold, he almost jumped out of his skin at seeing his mother and Trace sitting in the chairs in his living room. He hadn’t talked to them since everything had gone wrong with Janelle, he had been conveniently avoiding both of them.

“Um, can I help you guys?” he mumbled, his head held low. Talk about a buzz kill.

“Yes, is there anything you need to tell me, Justin? Starting with why you’ve been ignoring me for the past few weeks?”

“Um…I don’t know, is there?”

“Don’t pull that shit with me, young man. Where is Janelle? What the hell is going on with you right now?”

He could tell his mom was furious, and Trace was doing nothing to aid him in the situation. He was just sitting in his chair, his gaze drifting back and forth between him and his mother like a tennis match.

“She’s not here.”

“Where is she?” Trace finally decided to jump into the conversation.

“I don’t know, she left me.”

“She WHAT?” they both yelled at the same time. “What the hell did you do?” Trace added.

“I don’t really want to talk about it. It’s not a great topic for me right now.”

“Well, you best get past that, because I want to know exactly what you did to my daughter-in-law.” Lynn crossed her arms over her chest and gave him the look. The look that meant he had no choice but to tell the two of them what had been going on.

So he started from the beginning. He told them how he had been missing Janelle in New York, how he had been spending a lot of time with Aimee, and what had happened that fateful night that changed his life. He explained how he didn’t remember anything that happened after they had drank that bottle of wine.

“Justin, you never get drunk off a few glasses of wine. It takes you a little bit more than that. Who poured the wine?” Trace commented.

“Um…” Justin scratched his head, trying to remember back. “I think it was her. Yeah, it was Aimee. She had come over and I was in my pajamas, so I went to change and she pour the wine.”

“Do you think she could have drugged it?” Lynn asked.

“Aimee? Why would she drug me?”

“I don’t know, did you ever have an argument with her? Was she mad at Janelle for something? You tell us, Justin, what reasons could she have had?”

Justin tried to think back if there was anything him or his wife had done to Aimee to make her angry. “I don’t think so, I mean Aimee always was resentful of my relationship with Ellie. I guess when they were growing up, Aimee always got the guys and Ellie would just go along with her best friend. But I don’t think that’s enough for her to do anything to me.”

“It might be, Justin. You never know, I think you might need to have a little chat with Aimee and get this all sorted out,” Trace said as he patted Justin on the shoulder. “You need to get Janelle back here. You need her, man. Do you have any clue where she could have gone?”

“No, and I need her a lot more than you realize right now. There’s something else I didn’t get to tell you guys.”

“…and?” Lynn waited.

“When Ellie came to New York to see me, when she found out about the affair, she had something that she needed to tell me. It was the last thing I ever expected her to tell me…” Justin droned off. He was just picturing his future child, would it be a boy or a girl? Would it have his eyes or her hair?

“What was it Justin?” Trace questioned.

“Ellie’s pregnant.” With that comment, he broke down in tears. Sobs wracked his body as he wrapped his arms around himself, trying to free the pain from his body.

Both Trace and Lynn gasped, not knowing what to say.

“What have I done? How did I do this? How did I lose my family?” he whispered between cries.