*Justin*

When I finished getting ready and came back down the stairs from retrieving clothes to wear and my favorite watch, San was sitting on the couch, arm propped on the side, leg on the table with a pillow underneath her heel. "Hey," I said, confused, "you were just sleeping ten minutes ago."

"Yeah," she shrugged, eyes still looking at the television, she engrossed in the movie they were showing on ABC Family. "Mom is in the guest room. She finds it comforting to clean when she feels as if she can't do anything," she laughed. "Dad went to go get pizza for us, since you won't be here."

I nodded, sitting down next to her and studying the side of her face. She kept contact with the television, not once turning to look at me. "San, you're mad, aren't you?"

At this, she turned her head, mouth forming an 'O' in confusion. "About what?"

"What I said earlier ..."

She chuckled, shaking her head and placing her hand on mine, my heart speeding up as I felt that familiar heart racing notion that I got when she touched me. "J, I'm not mad, really. I just think it's me being zoned out and spacey from the medication. I'm also still a bit depressed about the accident happening at all ... I saw the car, I don't understand how I made it out -"

"You saw it?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "Mom brought the paper and I saw it ... they said it was accidental, and it's a miracle I made it out of there with the extent of injuries that I did and not worse ..."

"Aw, San," I said softly, pulling my hand out of hers and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me so that she was leaning up against my chest, she sighing deeply. "It was a pretty bad wreck," I said, agreeing as I pulled my eyes to the paper that I now noticed by her feet, shuddering at the photo of Alyssa's car that was now no more than a boxed up piece of automobile. "But you're here, and you're fine, right? You're sitting here, breathing. You're mourning a car, instead of your life ... though I'm not quite sure how that would have worked out. I'm just happy that you're here and I don't have to worry about you being in the hospital anymore ..."

"Which reminds me," she said softly, she pushing herself away slightly as she looked up at me, studying me, "thank you. Thank you for being there when no one else could be and sticking around even when you could have went home ... which, in turn, resulted in not listening to me when I said to leave ..."

I laughed, placing a tender kiss on her forehead and shaking my head. "San, when have I ever listened to you?"

"This is true," she said, smiling weakly. "Thank you, for not listening to me."

I smiled wider, we both holding our gazes. I saw her tongue slowly slip out and lick her lips the way she did when she was unsure of what to do or say, watched her eyes look at my lips just as I had done moments ago, felt her melt against me when I reached up, brushing a piece of her hair away from her face. "Alisan, I -"

My doorbell rang, she and I both pushing away from each other quickly as I got up, straightening my button up and jeans, walking quickly to the door and shaking my head of thoughts of what could have happened. Opening the door, I forced a smile at the woman in front of me, greeting me with a bright smile and twinkling eyes. "Hey, Katie," I greeted, opening the door wider to let her in. When she stepped into the foyer, I closed the door behind her, placing a hand at the small of her back and escorting her into the living room to introduce her to my house guests. When she stepped in, I could have sworn that I saw jealousy sweep over Alisan's face, her eyes flickering with hints of the same emotion, but quickly recovering and giving both of us a bright smile. "San, this is Katie, my date," I said softly, letting Katie walk up to Alisan and extend her hand, seeing the hesitation as San let her hand slide into Katie's. "Katie, this is my best friend, San."

"It's nice to meet you," Katie said, still smiling.

Alisan echoed the same thing, still looking a bit jealous (maybe even angry ... at this point, all her emotions seemed to be written on her face) as she studied Katie. "My mom should be coming in here soon -"

"What about me?"

We all turned to look at Alisan's mother, Yvette, she holding a towel as she wiped her hands. "Hi," she smiled, eyes going from me to Katie quickly. "I'm Mrs. Turner. You are?"

I shook out of my confusion, quickly introducing the two. "Alisan's dad is on his way home, but I think if we don't leave now, we'll be late for dinner," I said, giving her an apologetic look. If the tension was any thicker, I'm pretty sure I would have suffocated to death on it. "San, I shouldn't be home too late. You gonna wait up for me?"

"Maybe."

I felt the pang at my heart, hearing the coldness that radiated in her tone, though she attempted to keep it sweet. "All right," I said softly. "We'll see you guys later." I opened the door, letting Katie exit first as I turned to look at San, she eyes boring into mine with what seemed to be a hint of glassy eyes. What in the world ...

"Justin," Katie called, bringing me to turn and look at her, shutting the door as I looked at the woman standing in front of me. "Whose car do you want to take?"

"We can take mine," I said, forcing a smile as I shook the image in my head away. Katie had driven here from work, it only a few miles away. We had agreed to meet at my home rather than she have to drive the whole way home and wait for me to drive the half hour to her house when she was only ten minutes away from me at the time being. "After all, I am the one who asked you out on this date, right?"

She chuckled as she followed me to my car, waiting as I opened the door for her and closed it once she was in. I jogged to my side of the car, taking one last look at the large bay window that was covered with blinds, wishing for some reason to see Alisan's face peering out, watching us go. But she wasn't, and I was left with just getting in the car and pretending that she had waved us off with a good-bye, not silence.

"So how exactly do you and your friend know each other?"

It was about an hour later, Katie and I sitting in Madison Avenue and finally being served after the mid-evening rush had slowed. So far, conversation flowed and the night seemed as if it would end well. We had comfortable silences, and after this one in particular, I was greeted with that question. After she had said this, I looked up from my food, covering my mouth and swallowing before I answered. "Who, Alisan?"

"Yeah, the girl in the living room."

"Alisan," I stated, nodding. "We met through a mutual friend ... well, my ex and her relative. We were at a party and were introduced and just clicked. That was ... five years ago? I think it's nearing six, because we met a few days after her birthday, which is in July ..."

"Oh," she nodded. "You two seem ... close."

She got that by the icy stares and small remarks? "I ... Yeah, I guess you could say we are," I nodded. "All of her family lives in Georgia so Alyssa and I are all she really has here. She has other friends, but they obviously showed their true sides after her accident."

"Sucks for her," she said softly, eyes locked on mine as I looked at her quizzically. "I mean, that her friends are horrible."

"Y-Yeah," I said, slightly baffled by her tone just then. "How about we change the subject, huh? This food is amazing."

Her face brightened a bit, nodding. "Yes it is, thank you for taking me to this place, it's amazing."

"Yeah, it is," I smiled, biting into my food. "It's Alisan's favorite restaurant." I froze, feeling my stomach drop at realization. Oh, how this is gonna end badly when she finds out I took her here. "And my mom's," I recovered, not wanting to hear anymore about Alisan from Katie. "It's a favorite within my friend's and family."

She nodded, chewing quietly as she watched me. Ah, shit, this was going bust quickly. "So where would you like to go after this? Movies? Dancing?"

"I love dancing!"

Hey, what do you know, so does Alisan.

... Shit.

"Dancing sounds great," I smiled. "I know a good club we can go to -"

"Or we can go somewhere private and do our own little dance," she suggested, hitting that one point in my body where all I wanted to do was throw down a credit card and take up her offer then and now. "I'm pretty good at that kind of dancing ..."

"We could do that," I nodded, trying to sound interested. Part of me was, AKA, the sexual anatomy of me was interested. Growing very interested at the thought, no pun intended. The heart of me wasn't as much.

But maybe this was what I needed to get over this whole hang-up over San. Maybe I just needed to ... introduce myself to another woman. See what she offers that San isn't. Maybe this is what I need, period. I nearly choked when I felt her foot sliding up my leg, dangerously close to bringing my sexual interest to attention - pun intended. "Why don't we skip dessert?" I asked, trying not to stumble on my words as I felt her toes toy with me through my pants with her toes. "Dessert is overrated, anyway."

Definitely would have stayed to have dessert with San.

Damnit.

"C'mon," I said, slapping a hundred dollar bill down from my wallet and shoving it in my back pocket, grabbing her hand and literally pulling her out of the restaurant. "Tell me where you live," I managed to breathe out, her voice answering me in a husky, sexual voice that nearly drove me to pulling to the side of the road and taking her right there in the middle of the highway.

She barely had the door open when I came from behind her, pushing her in and slamming the door, pushing her against it as I pressed my mouth against hers, wishing the face in my mind to go away as my hands met the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head as hers roughly grabbed at my shirt, literally ripping each button off as she ripped it off of me. Aggressively, I lifted her up, holding onto her ass as I somehow managed to hike her skirt up at the same time, growing angrier and angrier by the minute as the face staring back at me became more and more defined and illustrated. Not even in the heat of the moment could I get her off of my mind.

My mind is forsaking me.

"Justin," Katie's voice rang out, moaning with her mouth against mine as she ground her hips into my crotch, she holding onto the top of my head. "Bedroom. Down the hall and to your left."

Quickly and wordlessly, I turned, mouth still attached to hers as my eyes searched for her bedroom, kicking it completely open with my foot and almost dropping her onto the bed, she pulling me down on her as her nails raked down my back. She moaned again, having at least part of my attention as her hands fumbled with the belt of my pants, quickly pulling them away from me and shoving her hand down my boxer-briefs, hand gripping onto me and pumping slowly, an unsettling moan escaping the back of my throat as I did what any horny man would do, undressing her just as quickly as my member grew, we both naked and thrusting against each other and she pleasured me.

I placed my forehead against her collarbone, mouth open as silent moans came out. I imagined anything I could to keep my mind in the present, it failing me and slowly going back to last night when I held Alisan in my arms, no worries filling my mind. What I wouldn't give for the woman I was with at this moment to be her.

I felt her push me against her opening, obliging with her demands and thrusting as I finally let my mind escape reality, away from the past, the present, the future. I thought of things a grown man really doesn't think about: candy, popsicles, confections of any sort to keep my mind away from the woman underneath me and the woman miles away. I thought about me sitting in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a pen and a pad, writing down lyrics in contentment. I thought about bluss and what it felt like to be one with myself.

I came across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a big black horse and a cherry tree

I felt a little fear upon my back
He said, "Don't look back, just keep on walking"
When the big, black horse said, "Look this way"
Said, "Hey lady, will you marry me?"

But I said no, no, no, no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me

Her cries as she it her climax rattled me back to reality, and soon, I grew disgusted with myself, no longer wanting to be doing what I was doing, but knowing I needed to finish off for the sake of my erection and the pain that was brought on when it wasn't taken care off. Moments later, I felt the familiar tingle and soon followed with the weakest, most disappointing orgasm I had ever had. Of course, I couldn't let the satisfied face underneath me think any different, faking an amazing one and collapsing against her chest, my forehead sliding against the sweat beads above her breasts.

"That was so good," she said softly, her hands raking through my hair as I nodded, frowning. Sure, for you it was. You just nailed Justin Timberlake, of course it was good - good for you to tell your friends about. Just good because you slept with someone famous.

"We're gonna have to keep on doing this," she breathed, reaching over and grabbing a blanket, motioning for me to lie next to her. She looked spent, exhausted. I, on the other hand, was wide-awake and angry at myself.

We lay there, and within moments, she was sleeping, gripping onto my hip tightly as I stared at the ceiling, angry tears forming. Why was I so stuck on her? Why was I driving myself to emotions I didn't want to feel after Britney? I never cried over a woman since Brit, and now, here I am, almost doing what I had done years ago. I loved Alisan, I knew that much. I knew in order for me to move on, I had to go out and ... move on with other women, but it wasn't going to happen if my mind continued to drift back to the one I was trying to get away from. Then, as if on cue, the look in her eyes shot as we left straight to my heart and I was crying.

That's right, Justin Timberlake is a big pussy. A big pussy because of a girl.

And my heart hit a problem
So I stopped it dead for a beat or two
But I cut some cord, and I shouldn't have done it
And it won't forgive me after all these years

I got up, trying to keep my tears to a minimum as I gathered my clothes, dressing myself as I walked clumsily out of her house. I locked the door behind me, not wanting to be put to blame if she were to be robbed or something, still fumbling with my pants as I got into the car, tossing my shoes into the back, not caring about them.

When I got home, it wasn't late at all. All the lights were off, Alisan's parents' car was still in the driveway, and Yvette was sitting in the porch swing. I licked my lips, reaching behind me for my shoes and trying to make myself look less sexually mussed up and just tired. Getting out, my feet felt like lead, head felt like an anvil was resting atop of it, and I felt mentally like shit. The look on Yvette's face told me I was gonna feel more like shit once she was done with me. "Hi, 'Vette," I said softly, she motioning for me to sit down next to her. "She all right?"

"I think we're gonna take her down to Georgia until she heals," she said softly, turning her head to look at me. "Let her mama take care of her."

"What? Why?" I grew puzzled, playing with the buttons on my shirt and realizing that they were uneven. Shit. Crossing my arms to hide my mistake, I studied her face as she sighed, shaking her head. "Yvette -"

"Justin, she's not happy here. I can see it in her face. She's depressed with the accident and I think it'd be best to let her go home to something more familiar -"

"She's been here almost six years," I said, arguing with her. "It's not unfamiliar to her anymore. Georgia will seem so foreign to her if she goes now -"

"I'd rather her be at home so someone can take care of her until she's back on her feet -"

"I'm taking care of her," I said, feeling slightly flustered. "Yvette -"

"That is my name," she said, giving me a weak smile, "you don't have to repeat it. Look, Justin, I know you love her, but I see her spiraling into a depression and I don't want to be around when this happens. I want to be with her and bring her back up into the happiness that she had before she left for her. This place has changed her and I don't like it -"

"It's not her that's changed," I frowned. "She's still the same sweet girl that came here five years ago. I just think there's a lot going on in her head that she needs to figure out -"

"That's why I want her to come home."

"I don't want her to go," I said, shaking my head. "I'm taking care of her. She trusts me, she knows I'll do whatever I can to make her comfortable and happy. I'll get to the bottom of her funk and I'll make her happy again, I can promise you that. I've brought her out of a funk before, I can do it again."

"Justin, I don't know, I -"

"She's twenty-five, Mrs. Turner," I said, shaking my head. "That means she's a grown woman and her mama shouldn't have to worry about her all the time. I know it's in the motherly contract, but I can promise you, she wouldn't be any better than she is now if you took her away from here, from me. We feed off of each other, Yvette. She's my best friend. I need her here. She needs me."

She sighed deeply, not saying another word. Leaning her head against the swing, I slowly waiting for a response, but never got any. With this, I got up slowly, intending on showering and then spending the night next to her.

I knew my skin was going to be raw after I stepped out of the shower. I scrubbed so hard on every inch of me that had touched Katie, almost drawing blood on my hands as I scrubbed with anger on the tops of my hands. I didn't even dry off, pulling on a pair of boxer-briefs and then a pair of pajama pants, water still dripping down my back as I went to her room, knocking gently before I pushed it open, she lying on her side with her eyes closed.

"San," I called softly, getting no response. Quietly, I shut the door and tip-toed into the room, drawing the covers down and crawling underneath. As I made myself comfortable, Alisan turned her head and slowly turned herself onto her stomach, eyes meeting mine tiredly. "Hey, sleepy," I said softly, she blinking slowly in response. "Go back to bed -"

She shook her head, placing her head on my chest as her hand resting against my stomach, my breath quickening at just that simple touch. "How was the date," she asked groggily, voice low and husky from sleep. She still looked the same as when I had left, the look in her eyes something I still couldn't read. "Was she nice?"

"It was all right," I said, nodding. "She is nice. Very nice." Way too nice, I added to myself, forcing a smile as I looked down at her. "We had dinner and then just ... hung out."

Bad lie.

"Where did you take her to dinner?"

I cringed, she looking at me, puzzled. "Madison Avenue."

"Oh."

Strike one.

"Where did you guys hang out?"

Oh, this wasn't going to end well at all. "Her house."

She stopped tapping her fingers on my chest, body completely still as she let what I said settle into her mind. "Did you sleep with her?"

If my heart could go any faster, it'd beat out of my chest and into the next county. "Did I sleep with her?"

"That's what I asked," she said softly, eyes studying mine for an answer since I was stalling. "J, I'm not gonna be angry, it's your sex life -"

"I did," I said softly, closing my eyes as the pained expression on her eyes broke through the face set in stone. "It just happened and I -"

"I don't need any explanation," she said softly, turning her head so that she was facing the foot of the bed, quiet. "I'm not your mother, or your girlfriend. I don't need to know where you are and what you do 24/7."

Strike two through a billion. 

"I know," I said softly, placing my hand on the top of her head and gently stroking her hair. "I'm sorry ..."

"For what?" Her voice cracked with a yawn and what I thought to be a hint of emotion, my heart breaking at this. What was going on with her? "There's nothing to be sorry about."

"You clearly needed your best friend today and I left you hanging to dry," I said softly. "That's not the way a friend is."

"You were fine, Justin," she mumbled, tilting her head upwards so she could look at me, "I've just got a lot on my mind right now."

"Wanna talk about it?"

She grew silent, she shaking her head against me. "I don't even know what's going on in my head right now to make sense of it and put it into a sentence," she replied. "I just think this medication is making me loopy or something ..."

"Well, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to."

"I know."

We lay there in silence, she and I both wide awake. I knew if I said something, the conversation would end quickly. She was angry, maybe upset. About what, I didn't know. I had all intention on finding out.