*Alisan*

"How'd you know him?"

I looked over at Lucas, he standing in the living room, staring out the window probably watching Justin leave. "Who?"

"Don't play dumb," he snapped, looking over at me. "Did he try to pick you up? Is that what that cocksucker did? He tried to play you, didn't he?!"

"Luke," I shook my head, setting the bag of fruit that I had wanted down by the stairs and walking over to him, "he lives down the road, so he walked me home. He was in the store, too."

"I don't want you even acknowledging his presence," he stated, eyes burning into mine. "He's bad news."

Rolling my eyes, I held my hand up in dismissal of the subject and turned away, yelping out loud when I felt his vise-like grip on my arm. "Lucas, Jesus, let me go, that hurts."

"Listen to me when I'm talking to you!" He snapped once more at me as he had done earlier, thus why I made an excuse to go to the store and away from him. "I don't think I want you coming with me to dinner with my friends, you may just embarass me with your stupid ass antics."

"Fine," I mumbled, yanking my arm free and bending down to pick up the bag. "Go do whatever you want, Lucas. I came here to meet your family but obviously, that's as far as my visit down here has come." He started on me again, but I walked away towards the kitchen, opening up the bag and throwing the apples and strawberries into the fruit drawer. I heard the front door slamming, walking slowly towards the living room and peeking around the curtain, not wanting to have him see me watching him go.

He peeled out of the driveway and down the road like a bat out of hell. I can't say that I wasn't happy he left, because I was. We had only been together for maybe a span of two months. Gabby had set us up, and for a while, it seemed promising. He was sweet and kind, and definitely good looking. I saw all the good in him until JC pointed out to me on one random day that he somewhat reminded him of Justin. Since then, I could only find flaws, but in fear of loneliness yet again. I kept pushing them to the back of my head. It was about three weeks ago when he started becoming defensive and very argumentative, picking fights about almost everything, down to the color shoes I wore. He liked to yell. A lot. He has never hit me, so I can't complain about that. I don't think I'd be strong enough to leave him even if he did.

It was around that time that I began thinking about Justin again and how I shouldn't have said what I said. I had wanted to be with him, but I was afraid of committing to him. What if it ended and we never spoke again? I couldn't not have him in my life. Though, either way, my stubborn mind had believed that either way, he'd not be in my life and my leaving would be the less painful of the two. But, as usual, I was wrong. I was in a depressed funk for a few weeks, up until Gabby got sick of it and finally set me up with Lucas. I was still casted on my elbow, my leg cast removed only two weeks prior. He breezed into Gabby's house just like Justin had in my own, and that's when I should have known I was asking for trouble.

My phone dinged from my purse across the room, literally tripping over my own feet as I scrambled for it. Part of me was afraid that Lucas would somehow hear it, turn around and find out who was texting me, his jealousy settling in and he'd go after Justin just as he almost did with JC.

Another thing about Lucas? I'm not allowed to have male friends. Somehow, he thinks that I have hooked up with each and every one of them ... JC included. I haven't had contact with him for six weeks, having to ignore his calls and text messages just because of the idiot I was afraid to leave.

Flipping open my phone slowly, the screen alerted me that I now had a text message from Justin. He must have seen him leave.

Sighing deeply, I responded.

I closed my phone, jogging up the stairs quickly in search of a zip-up sweatshirt and a clip for my hair. Moments later, I was outside, walking towards the direction I knew Justin had headed, seeing his form closing the distance between us slowly. "Wanna walk?"

I thought I knew what love was
'Til I laid eyes on you
I thought I had it all figured out
But you turned my head around

He extended his elbow for me to slide my hand through, waiting as I did so. In comfort, I moved myself closer, leaning my head against his bicep. "You gonna tell me what's going on?"

"I'm not happy," I said simply, eyes set in front of us. "I haven't been in a while."

"I can tell this," he agreed. "You've lost weight, you look tired, and you're not as talkative as you used to be. Is he doing something? Has he hit you?"

"What? No," I said, shaking my head. "Sometimes, I wish he would. Maybe it would give me an excuse to leave. But then again, I'm too afraid of what the outcome would be to leave."

"How long have you felt like that?" He asked softly, leading me down some path behind his house into a small wooded area. It looked scary, but with him, I didn't feel afraid. I felt at ease with him, protected. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. "How long have you been unhappy?"

I let us walk in silence for a while, he not pressing the question and waiting for me to answer on my own. Soon, we were sitting on a fallen tree, his arm now around me as I rested my head on his shoulder. Finally, I cleared my throat, feeling his grip on me tighten. "I've been unhappy since the day I left your house," I said, frowning and feeling his body tense up at the subject now brought up. "To be honest, I hadn't felt the way I felt about love until you kissed me. Frankly, it scared the shit out of me. I never felt that way before, I didn't think I could handle it and I just freaked. I began making up excuses in my head as to why it could be that way, why I felt the way I did ... but I couldn't think of one, except that it was love ... that I did love you. That, that scared me even more. You were my best friend for so long and to suddenly feel for you what I have been wanting for so long, knowing that you returned those feelings ... it was euphoric and completely crazy to me. So I knew I had to leave. I had to clear my head, let you figure out what you wanted ... If I was what you really wanted. I figured, if you wanted me, you'd come after me. After weeks of not even hearing from you, I felt like you had given up. The moment I got into that car and we left, I felt that. I felt that weight just pile on my shoulders at both of us giving up something that could have been something special. I tried to move on, but it was Gabby who pushed me to. I wasn't ready, so I just getting further into my funk ..."

"Alisan," he said softly, pulling his arm from around me and sliding his hand down my leg to my hand, clenching it tightly. "I would have waited forever for you. All I wanted to do was to make you happy."

And I
I am dizzy
And I am angry, baby
How the hell did you did this to me?
I used to be strong
Thought I could do it on my own

"I know," I whispered. "I wish I could take it back. It just ... I was so ready to be on my own and then you came along ..."

"I loved you."

But I'm so tired of this heartache
I'm just wondering how
Much longer will it take
All I want is your love

"You know I loved you."

I looked over at him, his face full of emotion as he brought his eyes to mine, still gripping my hand. "I know. I loved you, too."

"And you had to run away."

"Yes."

"I would have chased after you forever if I could."

Frowning, I leaned my forehead against his, feeling my own tears fall down my face, his own falling down and onto our hands. "But it's too late for that," I said softly. "We're both with people, and -"

"That doesn't matter."

He remained eerily calm as he made his comments to each remark I said, my heart pounding in my chest as I felt his skin against mine, hand now caressing my cheek. "It does matter. We've both moved on ..."

"I wouldn't have moved on if someone put a gun to my head," he said softly, shaking his head and bringing my head along with the shaking. "You obviously haven't."

Oh and I
I am dizzy
And I am angry, baby
How the hell did you do this to me?
I used to be strong
Thought I could do it on my own

"No," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat as he pulled his head away from mine, just staring at me. "I haven't moved on."

"Then, maybe we're not supposed to move on," he said, eyes going from eyes to our hands. "Maybe we're meant to be together and some force is proving that to us ..."

"That could very well be it," I said sadly. "But obviously, it's got the worst timing in the world and I -"

His mouth met mine, silencing my excuses and awakening the senses I thought I had lost a long time ago.

But I'm so tired of this heartache
I'm just wondering how
Much longer will it take
All I want is your love

His hands held me at my waist, clinging to the fabric of my shirt as if his life depended on it, my hands cradling his cheeks. His tongue slowly entered my mouth, massaging mine as I felt his body move closer to mine, now chest against chest. Slowly, his hands dragged up my body, gripping my shoulders from behind and pushing me as close as he could get me, afraid I'd run away. I tasted his tears on my lips, opening my eyes and seeing the pained expression only seconds before he pulled away from me. "Justin -"

"I can't ... I have to go." He got up, wiping at his mouth as I heard an angry sob escape his mouth, summoning the tears out of my own eyes as I watched his walk, no run, quickly away from me. For the first time, he was the one running.

Oh, you know you're gonna have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow through

You see I
I'm so tired of this heartache
I'm just wondering how much longer will it take
All I want is your love

And I
I am dizzy
And I am angry, baby
How the hell did you do this to me?
I used to be strong
Thought I could do it on my own

But all I want is your love ...