*Justin*

Madison Avenue is a place I should never have suggested. On one of my confident streaks, I thought: 'Good meal, good company, good dancing and great drinks. That'd be a great time to tell her how you feel'. I was so stoked for it, picturing how everything in the restaurant was red and black themed, dim, white lights everywhere, and a pretty decent band that played every night. She loved the place, and she rarely went, so why not treat her and surprise her?

And then, freaked out, question everything twice Justin reared his insane head the moment she stepped down the stairs in the little black dress that he remembered, yet tried to forget every time it met light. It was a halter dress, a simple red ribbon tie right below her bust to bring attention upwards, rather than to her lower half, the side curves of her breasts peaking out slightly. I saw that she had used some sort of shimmer, and playing with my keys was all that I could do without chickening out and telling her I didn't feel well and just wanted to go to bed. She had turned, the familiar lump in my throat forming when I saw the drop back with her small tattoo on her shoulder standing out fully. She was a simple girl, and the little peach with a stem and some leaves signified her Georgia roots well. I knew she had another tattoo, but she refused to tell me where or what it was.

Watching her rummage through her purse facing the opposite direction, I decided that her back was my third favorite thing on her. Not counting her bright smile and beautiful eyes, her long, lean back gave the impression she was much taller than she was. It was flawless, the addition of the tattoo quite appealing to me, making her seem a little less innocent than she actually was.

"Hey."

I brought my eyes up from staring at her strappy black sandaled feet with cute red nail polish (hey, I was trying to stop staring!), meeting her own. "Hey yourself."

She laughed, rolling her eyes slightly. "You look handsome. And hey, we match."

I looked down, the black pants, white tie and deep red tie definitely matching. Argh, I had mentally known she was going to wear that dress. I wanted to catch her attention, not on how we matched. That's not what I wanted. I wanted something better than that. Something that said, 'hey, you're sexy. Just do me on this here couch and we can call it a night', or maybe even a little more subtle, 'you look nice' would have worked and I -

... she called me handsome!

And now, I feel like a giddy little school girl. Do you see what this girl does to me?!

I bit the side of my mouth to surpress the grin I had itching to form on my face, extending my elbow for her to take as I led her out of the house towards my car that I had picked up as she was getting ready, she chuckling beside me. "What?" I asked, turning to her as I opened the door and let her get in as I shut it before she answered. Now what was she laughing about? "What's so funny?" I asked once I sat down, putting the key into the ignition and letting the engine roar to life. She was silent for a moment and I saw the smile playing on her lips as she tried to surpress another giggle. "Alisan," I laughed, "what is so funny?"

"You know, I think you love this car more than you love your career."

I gunned the engine a bit, grinning. "Quite possibly."

"Then your friends."

"Most of 'em." Hey, I was being honest.

"And your mama?"

"Definitely not." I smiled. "Mama is better than this car. She gives me food and peach cobbler."

She laughed, patting my hand. I almost gasped aloud, feeling a shock between our hands. Literally. She had just static-shocked me. Laughing again as she studied my face, she apologized. "Damn, I bet you love this car more than you love me and my red velvet cake!"

"You, maybe. The cake surpasses this car, also."

She mocked hurt, giving her little attitude with a sassy little head shake and turning in the opposite direction. "I don't think I want to go out with you tonight."

Laughing, I poked at her soft sides, my heart melting as she jutted out her lip to add to the effect. "San, you know you're better than the cake. And this car."

"But you like me, you love the car."

"I love you, too." I laughed. If only it were that easy to admit that I did love her ... just, maybe a little bit more than she realized. "You shouldn't have to question that!"

"I don't," she said, finally turning to me and smiling. Oh, God, there goes my heart. I hope she realizes that I stopped breathing. "I hope you know I care about you, too. You're like a big brother to me."

And I'm dead. Call the morgue, make sure they give me a nice solid casket and just put on my grave marker: Here lies Justin. Loved with his all, loved by all - except for the one that meant most. That was kind of harsh. Maybe something like: Justin Randall Timberlake. Born to perform, died from heartbreak. A little less in your face worked. A better approach, I suppose. This night totally called for a lot of drinks.

When we arrived, it was a lot less crowded than usual. But, of course, even with the lack of people, the one person I didn't want to be around was there.

"Jace, hey!"

I mentally slapped myself. Seriously? I picked this place? I lagged behind a bit, following Alisan towards JC as he approached us with a large smile, a few of his friends that I remember meeting at his party there with their respective dates and JC seemed to be solo. Great. Just ... great.

"Hey, man," JC's hand clapped on my shoulder, his eyes boring into mine like two drills, he attempting to get inside my head. My mom used to say that I had beautiful eyes, but JC's eyes seemed to be the one kind of blue that dug right into the inner-most part of a person and got to the root of everything. With one look, he'd dive deep into whomever he's looking at's eyes and into their soul. They were piercing, I knew, but obviously, being a straight man, I never paid that close attention to him like that. But now, trying not to look at him, I realized what my mom meant. He did read people well, he got into them, under their skin. "J," he said, shaking me slightly and getting me to look up. Looking behind us, he saw that Alisan had disappeared into the back, and turned back at me. "What's wrong? You two fighting or something?"

"I wish," I mumbled, it leaving my mouth quicker than I even realized it had spilled out. My eyes widened, and I saw the look of confusion on JC's face. "What?"

"What's going on with you, man?" He pushed me away from the doorway, his slightly smaller frame looking huge to me at this moment, he seeming like the fatherly-type at the moment. This was a first. "You've been acting different for a few months now ... I never wanted to say anything, but seriously, it's written all over your face that you're struggling with something. Is it your music? Family? You know you can talk to me -"

"I know I can talk to you," I interrupted, shrugging his hand off of my shoulder as he looked at me, another look of confusion flowing over his face. "But I can't, okay? I can't talk to you because ... just, because." I started to brush past him, his hand latching on my forearm and stopping me. Since when was JC this forceful? Damnit.

"Because why, Justin? Are you pissed at me? Was it something I said? I did? Damnit man, you're like a brother to me -"

Where did I hear that before?

"... I don't want you to have some sort of negativity towards me. We've been through a lot in the last eleven years. It'd suck if I didn't have you around anymore. Your friendship means a lot to me. I want to fix it if it was something I did ..."

And then, I snapped. "Jesus, JC," I raised my voice, watching as the man who had seemed to hold a higher ground than me suddenly fall before me, "it doesn't deal with us, okay? It deals with you and Alisan. It deals with me being a pansy and it deals with she being so in love with you that I'm nothing compared to you, okay? I'm not what I'd love to be and I can't change that because it's you she wants! It's you she has wanted ever since I can remember and when I even think about the thought of you two being together, it makes me sick! It makes me physically and emotionally sick! There! Are you happy now?!" I heaved out a breath, scared shitless. Why the hell did that come out?!

"J, I -"

"No," I held my hands up, chest still heaving from my heavy breaths. "I'm going inside. Just, don't talk to me tonight, okay? I can't deal with you or any of this right now."

"Justin, man, c'mon," JC's voice pleaded with me to stop as I tried to collect myself and my breathing as I breezed through the entryway towards the private backroom that I had reserved for us, sitting down across from her, she looking up from her menu and giving me a worried look. "What?"

"Sudden attitude?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "You okay?"

"Sorry," I said softly, looking down and busying myself with my own menu. "I'm all right. JC and I were just talking and I got a bit worked up about how JIVE has been treating him lately. Poor guy has been trying to get his album out and it just keeps getting pushed. And then, here's me, third album on the way and he can't even get his second out ..."

How easily I lied. Why couldn't it be just as easy to tell the truth? Maybe my life wouldn't be as ridiculous as it seemed to be headed towards.

"Oh," she said softly. She seemed to buy it. "I think I'm going to be a cheap date tonight and get a chicken salad with -"

"I didn't dress you up to let you be cheap," I said, cringing as it came out. "I didn't meant it that way ..."

She laughed. "I know. I'm just not as hungry as I thought. Maybe I'll get the chicken parmesean?

"That's what I'm getting," I nodded, closing my menu and looking anywhere but at her eyes that seemed to be boring into me. What is with people doing that to me today? "I've been craving it ever since I saw it advertised on Emerill's show."

"Since when do you watch Emerill?"

"When I sit in my hotel room and get bored because the nightlife in some cities are dull."

"There is porn."

"I don't watch porn."

"Bullshit," she laughed. "Justin Timberlake, you're almost thirty-years-old, I'd think you have looked at porn on a bored or rather horny night."

"Can we not talk about porn?" I asked, she laughing and dropping the subject. It'd be kind of hard to tell her that I infact did watch porn, I just imagined the two people doing it as us. Probably would blow over badly.

"All right," she said, voice trailing off. She pursed her lips, trying to think of something to say. God, don't do that with your mouth ... "I got asked out when you were outside," she laughed. "Imagine that, me, of all people, getting asked out."

"Why not? You look gorgeous," I said, shrugging. "It'd be hard for anyone to pass up some time with you." Especially me.

"Yeah, like JC, right?"

Oh, Jesus. "I'm gonna go get a drink at the bar. You want something?"

"... Yeah, sure." She looked puzzled at my sudden change in subject, waving her hand casually. "Anything you wanna get me is fine."

I nodded, turning on my heel and heading towards the bar. I passed JC's table, feeling his eyes burn into the back of my head as I continued to walk. I needed to forget this night, these feelings, those words I said. I needed to forget the life I was in, and I needed to forget it quickly. "Can I get a couple double shots of Jack, please?"