"Justin!"

He's still storming off in the other direction even as Lynn calls his name. His mother looks a little hurt by his snub, and I wince in sympathy - he can be a little dramatic when he's pissed off. There's lots of stomping around and glowering.

"Justin!"

"Lynn, let me," I say to her with a quiet hand on her arm as Justin disappears into his room. She looks almost insultingly sceptical.

"Thank you, sweetie, but I think I…"

"Lynn, trust me," I say firmly. "It's better if I go."

You might think I'm being chivalrous or something but really, I'm just being too nice to tell her that her son is not in the mood for mothering. Sophie's madre does it sometimes too; parents, even the closest ones, don't always get that sometimes their children want to have a no-holds barred bitch fest. You can't do that if Mom is standing there telling you to watch your language - sometimes, you need to talk to your peers. Sometimes you don't want to talk to your parents when you actually need to (like when you're in a black hole of debt or under indictment or something), but when it comes to just letting it out and having a good whine it's friends you need.

She wants to disagree, but she's wavering. "But are you sure you…"

"I can," I interrupt. "I am to date the only person besides Rod Stewart who has ever successfully forced an on air retraction from Russell Brand." I can tell she's never heard of Russell Brand - he's an annoying and really not funny British comedian. He likes to make some really distasteful jokes. Whatever, he bitched out Sophie and I made him publicly back down; I am that good.

"Okay," she sighs, staring doubtfully at his door as we stop at her own. "I guess I could use an early night anyway."

I quickly see her off into her room, and I dismiss the bodyguards with a much easier shaking of my head. They know the signal, and they know they're done for the night. I've come to recognise Justin's moods over the last few weeks, and he will not go and party when he's like this; he won't leave the room, he'll just brood. I do the same when I'm pissed - I just go for self pity rather than sulking. Whatever, I get the anti-social nature of it, which is why it has to be me who goes in there. It takes one to know one… or to manipulate one into snapping out of it.

I say that like I didn't already manipulate him into giving me yesterday off as compensation for that whole leaving me to die in a burning building. Of course he didn't do anything of the kind, but I might have let him think that a little. I shamelessly took advantage of his panic and worry after I seemingly fainted. I say 'seemingly' because despite popular misconception I didn't pass out - I fell asleep. I was tired and scared and my feet were sore, so as soon as Dre took the weight of my feet like that it was sleepy time. Still, he felt so bad about it and I was still pretty tired so I made him give me the whole day off to laze around and read. It was great, I loved it. I feel so much better today.

The other advantage I have over Lynn is a copy of Justin's key card, so I quickly swipe it and let myself in where she'd have been relying on him to open the door. Apparently he's expecting me (or at least someone), because he's at the window and he doesn't even turn around before he speaks.

"It's so fucking wrong."

"I know," I sympathise. "But it's the best we got."

"But it… it just doesn't work!" Justin turns to me and he's swiping his fist through the air as though at an imaginary opponent. He's frustrated.

By some miracle, we managed to find another venue to host the abruptly cancelled shows - yes, that's shows, because we were supposed to have one last night too. We had to bend over backwards to accommodate the extra date; it involved people giving up their mid week break and us pushing back other shows to different nights. However, it looks great from a PR standpoint that Justin is so unwilling to let his fans down even though this clearly wasn't his fault. He needs all the good PR he can get right now.

What he's bitching about is that the venue we managed to get is not a small club. The good news is that we can fit both shows into one night because of the capacity; the bad news is that the capacity totally wrecks the intimate club show vibe. That's not just Justin being picky, the second you walk in there it gives off an entirely different ambience and anybody with half a brain cell could see that. It is, however, the only venue we will be getting at such short notice and he's going to have to live with it. The problem is that Mr Perfectionist can't live with less than perfection.

"It's so fucking wrong." He's muttering the phrase like a mantra as he paces through the room.

"Look, Justin…" I sigh. "I won't lie, it sucks. I can see what you mean about it diluting the atmosphere but it's just one night, one show, and this isn't your fault. So long as you go up there and rock it they're not going to give a shit where they are. Fuck, so long as you stand there and look pretty they're probably not even going to care if you sing."

A-ha… that's a smile that just poked at the corner of his mouth there. It was only a little twitch, but my eagle eye caught it.

"I guess." He scratches the back of his head and he's still clearly unhappy, but his shoulders seem to have relaxed a little.

He's wandering around in one of those beater vest shirt things and while most girls ogle guys in those I actually look at the way they move in them. When you can see every muscle working it makes body language about three times clearer than if it's hidden under baggy t-shirts. Right now Justin's is reading pure dissatisfaction, although there's also an air of reluctant acceptance; he's tense, but not in an angry way. I then quietly amuse myself with the realisation that I'm dressed identically to him, though my jeans are faded and my vest is black where his is white. I wonder if my body language is easier to read in this outfit than if I was in a sweater or something.

"Oh, I got that interview with that radio station cancelled for tomorrow morning." Good thing I remembered that.

"You must be psychic," he chuckles before throwing himself onto the sofa next to me. "I was going to ask if somebody could do that."

"I couldn't figure out why they even booked you to begin with, that slot is women's hour." I shake my head in bewilderment; Sophie gets asked to do the weirdest things too. Justin being requested for what is normally marital advice hour is nothing compared to some of the stuff she's been asked to do… though I also expect it's nothing compared to other crap he's been asked to do that I don't know about.

"Tim was talking about me joining him on the urban station, am I free?" He asks me.

"What time?" I ask. I may or may not remember off the top of my head depending on what his answer is.

"Eleven."

"Then no, you still have to go for that other interview."

"Dang it." He picks up a pillow and starts playing with it, tossing it from hand to hand like it was one of those stress balls that they give executives to squeeze the tension out. "Speaking of shit that makes me go dang, are you avoiding Sophie?"

"Why do you ask?" I say slowly. Great, I might as well have just said 'yes' for all the neutrality I got in that sentence.

"Because she's calling me bitching about how I'm keeping you so busy you can't pick up a phone." He's glaring at me in consternation and it doesn't help with the squirming I was already doing. "What did she do?"

"Picked back up with Marco Fako." I'm going handily leave out the second part of that sentence: 'after she drove me nuts trying to get info on you so she could seduce you.'

"You hated him before but you were still speaking to her."

"That's different," I insist, "that was before he gave me that free ticket to the ER."

"Maybe there's an explanation?"

"Sure there is," I sigh. "She's totally insensitive and a complete sucker for total bastards."

Unexpectedly he slings and arm around my shoulder and pulls me a bit closer in. This is not out of any comfort; it's to pull me closer to his eye line so he can stare me down. It's a nefarious yet unfortunately effective little trick. My mouth has gone dry and I suddenly get the feeling I'm being unreasonable… all this before he's even spoken.

"Don't you think you should hear her out? Or maybe tell her how you feel?"

"Justin…" There goes yet another sigh. "You don't get it. Your PA has always been your best friend or your cousin. Your PA has always been somebody close to you that you not only expect to give it to you straight, you rely on them to do that so you don't turn into some stuck up ass. They have impunity to tell you if you're being dumb; I don't. Sophie is my boss and there's only so much I can do to push her before she draws that line back in the sand, and my pay check is back on the line. I'm not her friend, I'm her assistant. I have to watch what I say to her and if that means ignoring her calls when I can't be trusted to keep my trap shut then so be it."

I've created a moment of heavy silence with that little speech. I don't know whether he's just shocked that I would say that or if I'd made sense to him, but I can't believe I just said that. I mean, that's… that's a good deal of my shit laid bare. It's more than you might think it is, and I'm astounded I said it to anybody at all let alone him. His arm snakes back out from around my shoulders and falls limply to his lap, where he starts playing with the fingers of both hands.

"Do… you… feel that way around me?"

"What?" His words make me shake my head, trying to clear it from foggy stupor. I don't get what he means.

"Are you always watching what you say around me too?" He asks it quietly, his eyebrows knotted together in displeased fashion.

"I…" I'm about to deny it, but I have to stop and formulate words first. For a moment there I'm not sure what the answer to that question is.

"I mean… if you are…"

"No, no." Finally words rush back into my mouth as if somebody just broke the dam and the river's back in business. "You… you don't seem to mind anybody saying that stuff. I think you're so used to being that way with Trace that you treat me the same way because that's what you're used to."

He's pursing his mouth, obviously mulling this over in his head. I wait with baited breath until finally he nods and seems to accept it. "Okay. But you don't ever need to worry about that, really. I mean, I can't promise to never get pissed at you but I swear I'd never hold your job over your head like that."

"No, it's okay, I know."

We're both quiet after that, me picking nervously at my nails. I can't believe I made that little outburst, how stupid am I? Justin's the kind of dude who would run well meaning interference and hint at this stuff to Sophie. He wouldn't mean it badly and he'd try to be tactful, but that girl doesn't miss a trick. Well, okay, she misses the entire boat when it comes to Marco Fako and other people worming their way into her affections but generally speaking she's on the ball. If he says even the slightest little thing to her about this she'll work it out. Oh God, I'm so screwed. Why did I just say all that shit to him, why?

Though actually I wonder if he will. I can see him doing it to be nice, like I said, but then I can also see him being smart and keeping his mouth shut. I guess it's only just occurred to me that these days… I'm closer to him than Sophie is. All this time I've been looking at this like this little errand I'm running so Sophie can worm her way in there, and they spent more time together on set, but now it's different. I haven't just been working with him like she was, since my kind of work involves a lot of hanging out as well. It seems stupid that this didn't occur to me before, but I could make a decent claim to be his friend these days. At any rate, definitely a better one than she could. It really has only just crossed my mind that the dude actually might feel more loyalty to me than Sophie.

Hmm.

"You really think the show will be okay tomorrow?"

The abrupt change of subject is typical - this guy can't do uncomfortable silences. "Yeah. I mean, it won't be the same, but all you have to do is adapt with it. You're an old pro, you'll handle it."

"Hah. I'm old at twenty six?"

"You know what I mean." I give him a reproaching look, all eyebrows and narrowed eyes. Nobody arches an eyebrow like this bitch right here, I can give a real death glare when I want to. Kennedy's scared of it; she doesn't need to be since I don't to use it that often, but when she did last get it she cowered. "You'll be fine."

"You think?" There's a hint of the little boy in his face as he asks.

"I know."

Giving what I hope is an encouraging smile, I prop my head up on my elbow (or more accurately my hand which is steadied by my elbow), face tilted towards him wearily. I'm not sleepy, but I feel so wired it's exhausting. That's a massive contradiction, but whatever. Don't tell me it's not possible because hey, living proof. You can imagine my surprise when he quickly smiles back and then leans over to give me a peck on the lips, saying 'thanks.'

No, that was not the cheek, it was the lips: it's not like he tried to put his tongue down my throat but that was the kind of kiss I'd expect him to give his girlfriend or his mother, not his PA. It was the quick 'thank you' peck I give my mother after she's had me over for dinner (which would make sense, seeing as that's what he said), but it's weird that he gave it to me. Now I feel awkward, and the hairs on my arms are on end. It's not like he did anything wrong but it feels too familiar somehow… again, like I'm his girlfriend. It's exactly the kind of thing me and Will used to do; I'd be a smart ass and he'd give me a wry one of those, or if he thought I was being silly or cute he'd give me one. It's just weird coming from Justin.

I catch his eye with what must be a pretty startled look on my face. You might have expected him to blush, but instead he starts slowly leaning back over and I get the distinct impression he's going to repeat it again. Umm… I'm not too sure what to do about that. It's probably not a good idea and it's making me extremely uncomfortable, and yet my limbs seem to recognise the hesitance in my brain because they're not moving. Normally I'd be too smart to stand for any of this but I'm having that 'suspended in time' moment every girl has when she realises somebody's about to kiss her.

His lips hit mine with the slightest of pressure and I kind of think they get the slightest of pressure back. It almost tickles, it's so soft, but there's a strange magnetism to it. My eyes involuntarily close - it's been a very long time since this girl got kissed by a boy. There have been guys since Will but never more than a few dates, and the last of those was a good few months ago; it sounds silly and I know it, but I'd forgotten that it feels nice. He pulls back and his blue eyes hit my brown ones, probably searching for some kind of signal: a green light or a back off sign. He should be so lucky - I have no ideas right now.

Then he makes the choice for me; his hand goes to the side of my neck and he pulls me in for what is definitely more than a 'thank you' peck. I feel adrenalin shooting through my veins and my heart is pounding in my ears. Dear God, it really has been a fucking long time since I had anybody's lips on me - thoughts are still whizzing around my head, but the loudest one is telling the rest to shut up because the man is not a bad kisser. This may or may not be a bad idea but my capacity to reason is quickly shooting out the window as Justin grows bold and snakes his arms around me, pulling me closer.

He's so warm… and he smells like faded cologne and hand soap. At the moment he tastes like Jack Daniels and Coke (which would make sense as we had a few of those with dinner). We're not drunk though, so I won't have that excuse when we pull apart. I'm not completely sure when that will be however because I swear I'm half horizontal right now and I didn't notice that happening. I can feel his weight on me a little, though it's not entirely unwelcome. I'm all for being single and 'I Don't Need A Man' and all, but I had forgotten how not bad at all it feels having one.

I momentarily think of Sophie and how she'll flip her lid, but then I remember she's back with Marco and thus is no longer interested in Justin. I guess that means that for all she cares I can jump him right now… umm… one thing at a time, still not too sure about the kissing thing let alone sleeping with the dude.

I'm trying to have a coherent thought and he's very irritatingly doing things to my collarbone that prevent me being so.