I almost wanted to put three times too much blush on his stupid face just to make him embarrass himself in front of the thousands of teenaged teeny-boppers. But I didn’t. I almost wanted to shove the mascara wand up his perfect left nostril. But I didn’t. I almost wanted to kidnap him and make him take back the words that were still haunting my sleep.
Stop staring at me.
Like a sister.
Stalker.
But I didn’t. I watched from the side stage as he danced and sang and pelvic-thrusted. I watched as he made out with a random girl at the club we went to after the show. I watched him take her to his hotel room. I heard his moans through the thin walls of the Mariot. All I could do was cry. So I did.
I cried until my pillow was soaked. I cried until Beth and Jill realized that I wasn’t going downstairs for breakfast. I cried through their insistent declarations of the bastard that was Justin Timberlake. I didn’t say that I disagreed. I didn’t argue his many good qualities. I just cried.
My plan wasn’t working. I hadn’t fallen out of love with him. I hadn’t let go of my fantasy. I hadn’t been able to not care. I hadn’t.
Justin didn’t notice.
Every night was a new girl. Every morning was his cocky grin as he related the events of the previous evening. Every afternoon he took me to McDonald’s as he told me all about Stacy or Miranda or Jessica or Nadj. He’d drop me off and wave goodbye.
One day I guess I just snapped.
Sweat dripped off his tired face as Justin lifted a cold water bottle to his lips. The crowd was going psycho, and because this was the last show of the tour, Justin was very jittery. I didn’t know if he wanted to do more performances or if he wanted off of the wagon, but that was one of those unsolved mysteries.
“That was fucking awesome,” Beth yelled to Justin over the screams.
“Wasn’t it, though?” he yelled back.
I tried not to smile, but I failed. I just couldn’t get a grip on myself.
After that night’s concert, the Rejuvenated staff threw Justin a big party at the downtown Houston club, The Love Shack. Balloons had permanently attached themselves to the high ceiling and champagne bubbled from gold plated “fountains.”
“Classy,” I whispered to Jill.
She snorted.
“It’s Houston, m’dear. Don’t forget.”
I nodded, eyes already searching for the man of honor. He was on the dance floor, gripping some girl’s ass incredibly tightly. I was almost afraid he’d cut off the circulation, but her face wasn’t blue, so I guess she wasn’t dieing.
The mysterious woman turned her head slightly towards Justin’s lips; he eagerly leaned down. That’s when I just…burst.
Stomping down the glass stairway, I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. Not of embarrassment, mind you. I think it was more of a regretful blush, one full of misery and wistfulness.
The people that had crowded the floor parted as I motored to Justin’s side. He was halfway sticking his tongue down the girl’s throat when I slapped him.
The sound resonating off of my hand meeting contact with his cheek was quite satisfactory. He flinched and pushed away his temporary horny fix. The anger in his eyes was obvious, but fuck it if I was done yet.
I grabbed the collar of his Abercrombie polo, pulling him close to me. I wrenched his ear down next to my mouth, a little surprised that he wasn’t resisting.
“How dare you,” I whispered.
He pulled away sharply.
“How dare I what?” he growled.
“How dare you play with me. How dare you think that I’m one of your groupies. How dare you use me with your little games. How dare you call me a stalker. How dare you insult me. How dare you.”
His mouth dropped open but I wasn’t finished.
“And finally,” I whispered again, “How dare you make me fall in love with you.”
Justin Timberlake’s face paled.
I threw my arm around his neck, and brought his lips crashing to my own. He didn’t respond or resist. He just let me kiss him.
I pushed him away after finally feeling his lips.
“Just wanted to know what it felt like,” I said, before walking away.
I never saw Justin Timberlake again, nor did I expect to. I heard he and Cameron Diaz hooked up, but I didn’t care. I had finally left go.
Almost.
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