Fate does not exist. Destiny does not exist. Chivalry is dead, and there sure as hell is no such thing as romance. And, despite all that’s happened, I still believe that to an extent. What we have together…I don’t really think it’s all that romantic. I guess you could say it’s a cross between passion, love, and lust. Luvssion. Yeah, that’s what it is. Luvssion.

Marilyn Jaggers goes through life day to day. When she ends up being punched in the cereal aisle, her day gets inexplicably worse. Soon, Marilyn finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place: ignore the pain from her derrierre or push aside her pride and call up the one man who can actually get under her skin. At least he's hurting too. That makes her feel better. It's good to grab onto the little things so you don't stab out attractive men's eyes. Their beautiful blue eyes...