This was it. This was his nightmare. This was why he'd wake himself up from the dream every night, because he had always known it would come to this. Josh felt as if he was in the middle of the biggest, most ferocious tug of war, ever.

Did he choose the good life he had built for himself and for his family? Take the opportunity to rise in the Architectural field, get some backing and some clout so he could do bigger projects-but remain relatively unknown outside of Orlando or even Florida?

Or did he fly to New York and sit amongst a bunch of suits while they molded him into someone who was appealing to some subset of audiences and guided him into a different kind of life? One where he could write songs for a living, and play songs for a living and share what burned inside of him for a living-but leave so much behind, including a great life that he'd worked so hard to build?

Josh told Paul he'd let him know by the end of the day about Tuesday. He needed to talk to Celeste.

He almost attacked her, as soon as she walked in the door. Jack and Till were deeply engrossed in their afternoon cartoon, and would occupied for a few minutes, at least. He pushed her into the sitting room and set her down in one of the chairs nearest the piano.

"What? What's going on? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just. I heard from Paul, today."

Celeste seemed to jump in her chair, her eyes wide in surprise. She set her satchel, which had been on her lap, on the floor next to her and unbuttoned her coat.

"Already? And so? What did he say?"

"He started talking about all this... stuff they want to do. Haircut and teeth whitening, and clothes and... but basically they're okay with the contract. And they want to know if I can be in New York Tuesday."

Josh began to pace from one end of the room to another, a thumbnail shoved into his mouth when he wasn't talking.

"Well, so. That's good, right? That they want to meet with you?"

"Well... I have that meeting with Drumland on Tuesday. About the Science Center. I can't cancel. I don't know what to do."

"Wow." Celeste sat back against the cushion of the chair and exhaled. "Yeah, that is tough."

"I mean... I want my name on that building. I've spent too much money and worked too hard and put this family through so much, just so I could start my own firm. I can't give that up, right now."  He stopped near the window, glancing out at the backyard with the play system he and his dad had put together with their own hands.

Then he turned and walked toward the piano. By habit, he ran his hands along the wood, fingered the keys, sat on the bench, across from Celeste.

"The other thing is that... I want to do music, too. I kind of do want my name in lights. They don't have to be big and bright and flashing but... I would love to write and play, now that I know I can do it. I hate the thought that I would have to give that up. I can't..." He shook his head, his expression pained, his voice tight. "I can't choose."

"Josh..." Celeste sat up, and then sat forward, reaching for him. He took her hand and held it between them. "Honey, what if you didn't really have to choose?"

His eyes lifted to hers. Confused, but intrigued, he tilted his head. "What?"

"I mean... who says that Chasez Designs has to be Joshua Chasez? It could be Celeste Chasez, too."

"I don't..." He blinked, his lashes fluttering, his mind a mess. "I don't get it."

"I mean that I could become a partner. I've been married to you for eight years... if I don't know your vision by now, I'm in trouble. I could take your meeting on Tuesday, get the project going. You go to New York and see what they're talking about, up there."

"Celeste, honey... I so, so appreciate that you want to do that but-"

"Joshua, listen to me." He was surprised at her tone-it was stern and forceful. She was almost never like that, with him. She only pulled it out when she really needed it.

"You and I are a team. We are married. We make big decisions together. This? This is a big decision. You and I are going to have problems if you can't do music. It's a part of you. You have to do it, and you have a chance to take it nationwide. Maybe worldwide. So we have to come up with an option that involves you having the freedom to do music. I cannot go back to that life where you deny yourself all the time."

Josh rose from the piano bench and paced, again. He was even more torn than before.

"Honey, I hear you, and I'm just saying-you've been at Palmer a long time. You could be a Partner next year. I can't be the one to tell you to give that up."

"I could be a Partner at Chasez Designs tomorrow."

"And if it doesn't work? It's so much risk, just for this one thing-"

"This one thing being your dream? Why do you sell yourself so short, Josh?" 

She exhaled again, this time in frustration and stood, picking up her satchel and coat, and stomped out of the room. "Come find me, when you come to your senses."

He listened to the sounds of her greeting the kids and then climbing the stairs, her heels clicking on wood, and then silence once she entered the bedroom. He collapsed into the chair where she had been sitting, rubbed his chin and chewed on a nail.

It would almost solve their problems, if he could say yes to it. He just wouldn't feel comfortable being the one to tell her to throw away the last five years of her life, toss away the idea of being a Partner at a very prestigious design firm, where she could be on the fast track to success. He wasn't about to tell her to dump all of that, for him.

A noise at the edge of the room caught his attention. Celeste stood there, looking comfortable and cozy in a t-shirt and yoga pants and socks, leaning against the arched entryway. Arms folded, almost smiling. She was beautiful. And she loved him. And she just wanted him to be happy. And he understood that-he just wasn't going to sacrifice her career, her future for his happiness. There had to be another way.

"Okay, so maybe I was a little bit cranky," she said, easing into the room. Coming closer, then sliding onto his lap. "I just want this for you, so bad. And I just think that any sacrifice we have to make in the short term is worth it, in the end. It just makes me mad when you put yourself last, because you're so tortured by it."

He drew his arms around her, relishing the feeling of her so close to him. The smell of her hair, the light residue of perfume, those big hazel eyes staring up at him. Those plump, naturally pink lips that just begged him to kiss them, so he did.

"The thing is that... a few years ago I came to you and said I had another dream. A different kind of dream.  And you were on board with that dream, and let me quit a good job and bring my business home and it's been going okay. Great, lately. But... we've sacrificed vacations and expensive things we used to be able to do, and to have, for me to be able to do that. I feel like it would be selfish to put us through much more. For me. Again."

"And I'm telling you that it's not as built up as that. And I'm also telling you that you not doing music? It's not an option. Do you really think you can go back to just designing buildings for a living, Josh? Really?"

If he was being honest with himself, he didn't, He just wasn't sure how to mesh the two together, how to mash up both of his dreams into something that would work for his family-without making it all about him.

Six weeks later, life was a flurry of activity. Celeste rushed around the house, changing her clothes, straightening things, coughing through construction dust. After dropping Till and Jack off at school and attending a quick meeting at the Science Center building site, she was zipping off to the airport to pick up Josh. She was excited to hear all about his time in New York, recording for the first time, writing with a team, working with a producer. He'd sounded so excited on the phone, and a little overwhelmed with all that was going on.

She hardly recognized him as he rounded the corner from the train into baggage claim. He'd been given a haircut and a stylish, dapper new hairdo-quite the change from the dusty brown, curly mop he usually wore. His teeth were a gleaming white, but she was happy to see he still had the gap she had come to love. He was thin-well, not really thin. But his new clothes fit better, hugged his form and showed off his bulk the way he'd never shown it off, before. He'd have been way too shy, months earlier, to wear a shirt as tight as the one he was wearing when he sauntered toward her, all kinds of handsome and confident and smiling.

"Hi honey." He bent to kiss her, wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her close, so he could sniff her hair. "I missed you. It's been a long two weeks, mama."

"You look so handsome, Josh." She stroked his cheek, clean shaven and smooth, and looked up into his eyes, a clear and sparkling blue. "So, what's this mama stuff? You've been calling me that for a week, on the phone."

"Oh, sorry. I must have picked it up somewhere. One of the writers, maybe. You don't like it?"

"It's alright." She shrugged, kind of shy. "I like the way you say it. So, how are things?"

"Things are good. Things are really..." He couldn't help but smile. "Things are great. And how are things with you?"

"Things with me are great, too. I'm working part time at Palmer, but mostly at home. You know. The new job." She grinned, looking up at him, as they waited for the baggage carousel to start. "I swear, we got so busy once it was announced that you designed the Science Center. Lots of new business coming in."

"Great. I'll have plenty to do for the next few weeks, then. I'm not due back up there for awhile."

Celeste almost giggled, giddy with excitement and happiness. She threw her arms around him and planted a big, wet kiss on his cheek. "It's so good to have you home. We missed you. Jack and Till can't wait to see you. And Till is so happy you'll be home for her birthday party, Saturday."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

He sighed, staring down at her, realizing that for the first time he was utterly, completely happy. No more nightmares. No more running from something he'd wanted for so long it was crawling out of him.

He'd been able to merge and mesh his two dreams into a combination that worked for both him and for his family. He could write and record-especially when they finished the addition to the house that would give him a soundproof booth and a room to work in-and he could design buildings alongside his wife, his first and forever love.

He felt a little more in control of the speeding bullet that was his recording career, opting out of a lot of ‘get famous fast' schemes. No whirlwind tour of the country, no massive press junket, not too much glitz and glamour, no controversy. He would write his debut album, with some help from the label. It would be released the following year, hopefully without a lot of unnecessary fanfare. Whether it made him rich and famous and world renowned was a story that was yet to be told.

He really just wanted to be a musician. They could keep the glamorous life.

They passed The Warehouse on the way home. Josh laughed aloud at the marquee. "Joshua Chasez, featuring The Associates? Oh, Tyler must just love that."

"He suggested it." Celeste glanced over at him quickly to catch his reaction. There wasn't really one, on the outside. On the inside, though, his heart was swelling. There, on the marquee, was his name in lights. They weren't bright and flashing and glaring, but it was yet another dream come true.

Life, now... was perfect.