Chapter Twenty-Two

Rachel felt the urge too late. She pushed away from JC and threw the covers back. When she crossed into the bathroom it was over. There was no reason why she held her hand to her mouth. Having her hand in front of her mouth was not going to stop the puke from going all over.

It felt like forever before she finally fell to her knees in front of the toilet seconds before the second round hit. She clutched the toilet as she emptied the rest of the contents in her stomach and then some. Her eyes watered from the puking. The pounding in her head intensified. Last night was nothing compared to the pain she felt right now in her head.

Hands caressed her naked shoulders as they gathered her hair, pulling it behind her. A blush swept across her face as she thought about the sight she must be. Covered in puke, leaning over the toilet, naked. With her arms cradling the toilet bowl, she laid her head down on one of them as the urge to puke passed - at least for now.

"I'm sorry," she whispered closing her eyes. She felt one of JC's hands caress up and down her back while one hand still held her hair. "My head hurts. I don't know what it is. I don't feel sick. I feel fine. My stomach doesn't hurt. Just my head. It's killing me. Really bad. Really really..." she leaned back over the toilet when her stomach pinched.

JC continued to rub Rachel's back offering what comfort he could. He couldn't speak to her. His phone was still somewhere in the bedroom where Rachel had tossed it. This wasn't the morning after he pictured. He hadn't been expecting to be jarred out of sleep with an elbow to the ribs as Rachel frantically jumped from the bed. There had been a slightly manic thought that he harbored for a nano second that she had been freaking out. It hadn't taken long for him to realize what was wrong.

When Rachel slumped back in his arms, JC reached up flushing the toilet. He realized he was at a disadvantage. He couldn't get her what she wanted or needed. Kissing the top of her head he leaned her against the sink cabinet while he went to search for his phone; finding it buried in the blankets.

It was only a few seconds and he was back at Rachel's side. He reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Rachel opened her eyes long enough to read JC's question then closed them again. "My head hurts. It's like the worst headache ever." She opened her eyes when JC nudged her. "Shower yes. But let me clean up the puke first."

JC stopped her from moving. When she looked up at him, his heart broke seeing the pain in her eyes. He shook his head. "I'll take care of it." He could tell she wanted to argue but she wisely nodded. "You want to get in right now or wait and I'll get in with you."

"I'll wait," Rachel softly. She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, JC was shaking her awake. Looking passed him she saw her mess had been cleaned up. She felt bad because he didn't have to clean up her mess. "I'm sorry."

JC pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her to her feet.

"Can you turn the light off?"

"Sure," JC reached out and snapped the light switch off. The room was lit only by the natural morning light coming from the bathroom window and the bedroom. Once he had the water temperature perfect he walked into the stall behind her, shutting the door.

JC wished he could talk to Rachel while they stood in the shower but without the phone their communication was severely limited. He was really worried about her head and the pain she was in. 'You shouldn't have made love to her last night,' he told himself. 'You knew she was hurting and you still let yourself be talked into it.' A small smile graced his lips. There hadn't been much convincing on Rachel's part. He wanted to make love to her and it was hard to regret such a wonderful, beautiful thing. They came together and it was magical. They fit together, they moved together. Even with the minor hindrance of her not being able to hear, they communicated in other ways; glorious ways. It was like he knew what she liked. He could read her body and she could read his. Hearing her whisper his name in a needy voice... He wanted to talk to Rachel about last night. He wanted to know if it was as good as he thought it was. He wanted to whisper in her ear how beautiful she was; how good she felt, how much he loved her...

JC's eyes bulged. Where had that come from? Love? Since when had he loved Rachel? He liked her... very much. Had thoughts of falling in love with her but never this soon. They hadn't been dating very long. He couldn't love her already could he? He watched as Rachel turned around to face him. She gave him a smile before tilting her head back in the spray and closing her eyes. His heart stumbled.

Yup. He loved her.

When the shower was finished and they were both dried off, Rachel allowed JC to lead her back into the bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and JC sat next to her. He started towel drying her hair. "You keep this up I may never leave."

JC grinned. After his earlier revelation he was fine with that. He pressed a kiss to the top of her hair inhaling the scent of his shampoo. It brought out a primal instinct in him. He continued scrunching her hair into the towel drying it the best he could. When it was as dry as he could get it he stood up and made a brushing motion with his hand in front of his mouth asking if she wanted to brush her teeth.

"That would be fantastic," Rachel accepted his offered hand, allowing him to pull her up. She tightened the towel around her chest. In the bathroom she took the tooth brush and brushed her teeth; ridding her mouth of not only morning breath but the taste of puke. Feeling minty fresh she turned to JC and kissed him, hoping to remove the worried look he carried. "Don't look so worried."

JC pulled Rachel into a tight hug. He ran a hand over the terry cloth towel and into her hair; damp and made curly from the shower. He knew when it was dried it would be straight. He breathed her in and it did something to him smelling his shampoo and soap on her. Like her smelling like him somehow made her his. He could almost feel himself standing taller, prouder. A feeling he could never remember feeling with any other woman he dated.

Making sure to grab his phone before taking Rachel back to his bedroom, he turned on the talk-to-text application ignoring the missed notifications and the low battery. "How are you feeling?"

"My head still hurts," Rachel told him. She grabbed the t-shirt she wore last night from the floor and dropped the towel slipping the shirt over her head. "It's worse than it was last night. Light is killing me."

"I don't know how to make this room any darker than it already is," JC frowned glancing around his bedroom at the windows already covered with dark curtains to block out as much light as they could. "We could go to the basement. No windows down there. No bed either, but the couch is pretty comfortable," he said with a wryly grin. He'd fallen asleep on it many times.

"I'm okay. Maybe it will go away if I sleep." She climbed back into bed, arranging the covers to her waist. "Please don't look so worried." She took his hand and pulled him down to sit on the edge of the bed. "It's just a headache."

"That made you throw up," JC frowned, threading their fingers together. "That doesn't sound like 'just a headache' to me. It sounds serious. Like there is some lingering effect from your accident."

"There is a lingering effect from my accident," Rachel waved a hand next to her ear. "But I'm fine. I promise. You wanna join me?"

JC grinned and climbed over Rachel, settling in beside her. "No funny business this time."

Rachel giggled at JC's words as she snuggled into his side, laying her head on his chest. His arm wrapped around her and pulled the covers up before he rested his hand on her hip. She put a leg between his as she sought comfort. "I'll try. But considering you're in bed in nothing but a towel, it will be hard."

JC felt a blush creep across his face and he poked Rachel in the stomach with his finger causing her to giggle. "Yeah yeah..." He pressed a quick kiss to the top of Rachel's head before rolling out of bed where he grabbed a clean pair of boxer briefs from his dresser. "Better?" He asked when he climbed back into bed and gathered Rachel in his arms again.

Rachel hummed and snuggled closer to JC. She held him tight and relaxed in his arms as she fell asleep.

JC continued to hold her, running a comforting hand up and down her side. He stayed awake just in case she needed him. Too late he realized he hadn't grabbed more Aleve for her to help her headache. He didn't want to wake her now. He picked up his phone, lying forgotten on his stomach after having fallen from Rachel's lax hand.

First he went through his text messages. Apparently TMZ and the likes had already picked up on the picture Rachel had tweeted. That wasn't surprising. He couldn't wait to see what rumors were being spread about them. The first text he answered was from his sister, who wanted to know that she wasn't reading more into the picture than what was there. 'No you're right. We're together.'

Heather must have been sitting on her phone because she immediately replied. 'Awesome! Congrats! I can't wait to tell Tyler. This is gonna crush him. He's been in love with Rachel for the longest time.'

JC blinked when he read the message. His brother was in love with Rachel? Since when? Why hadn't he heard about it? 'He's married!'

'So? She's his marriage clause.'

'What is a marriage clause?' JC was confused.

'Oh JC... it's where you're allowed to sleep with someone if the situation arises and it's okay with the other person.'

'And Tyler's is Rachel?'

'Yup. I'm texting him right now with the photo of you and Rachel together. I think this will finally bring us even at the teasing I had to enduring over my crush for Lance when he came out.'

Where had JC been all these years? His brother was in love with Rachel and his sister had crushed on Lance. Why hadn't be known this?

'Do I dare even ask who Sarah's marriage clause is?'

'Bradley Cooper. HA!' JC frowned in confusion over the text wondering what was funny about Bradley Cooper. When he saw a picture pop up, he chuckled seeing Tyler's less than nice response to Heather's teasing.

'Sorry man,' JC sent the text off to his brother.

'It's cool,' Came Tyler's response. 'Now I get to pick another. I can't have my brother's girlfriend as the stipulation.'

'You're weird dude.'

When their conversation ended he laughed and shook his head at the craziness of it. Marriages clauses and crushes but he vowed to keep an eye on Tyler around Rachel. He read the rest of his texts which were more of the same. All wanting to know about Rachel. He rolled his eyes but answered their texts. There were a couple of texts from a couple of the girls telling him that Rachel had not yet been approved. That garnered another eye roll from him at the thought of any of the girls from Girl Radical not approving Rachel.

'I can't believe you haven't introduced us kids to Rachel yet.' Was a reply from Meeghan, the youngest of the girls in the group.

'Maybe I'm embarrassed by you guys.' He sent to her.

'So we have two Mom's now?' Was another.

'Big department. Had to expand.' He replied to Chase, another of the Girls.

Finishing up with the texts he stared at his phone wondering what to do next. The blue logo with the white bird in the middle mocked him. As well as the little red balloon in the right hand corner. Giving up, he tapped on the icon waiting for Twitter to load. There were a lot more people on his timeline thanks to Rachel's impromptu lesson yesterday. It had been a long time since he was on the social media site so he hadn't even been following any of the members from Girl Radical. Rachel made sure he was following all twelve members, the main group account, and then she threw in Lance, Michael and Lance's radio show.

His mentions were ridiculous. There were so many he wasn't sure he could even read them all. A lot had he and Rachel tagged. He started reading some of the tweets, glazing past the negative ones and the ones of girls pleading with him for it not to be true. Someone had tweeted they were listening to 'Dear Goodbye''. He replied back, simply saying 'happy listening'.

There was another person asking why he wasn't singing anymore and how they wanted new music. He was happy right now doing what he was doing with Girl Radical and that was what he told the person. 'Right now I'm happy behind the scenes with Girl Radical.' He thought about the song Rachel had written and Matt egging him, telling him he needed to sing the song. 'I won't rule out new music. But nothing planned right now.'

A lot of tweets were about NSYNC reunions. He couldn't answer every single one. With all the boy band reunions that had been happening lately there had been more questions that usual. Whenever any of them got together, the talk of a reunion never came up. Right now everyone was happy doing what they were doing.

'Hey JC, how about a different profile pic?' JC didn't see anything wrong with the picture that was currently his profile picture. He could see how it had gotten old fast.

He laughed seeing another tweet commenting on a photo they had found somewhere on the Internet. He didn't even remember where he had taken it or why, but it was a self picture taken in the mirror of some room that wasn't at his house. With the photo, the girl said she wished he'd start an Instagram account filled with nothing but self portraits. He was too old to be taking those types of photos. Poses like that were meant for young girls. He should know since he managed twelve of them.

After a few more scrolls on his phone and replying to more, he tapped his mentions again, taking the scroll back to the beginning where new mentions waited for him. People had found out he was currently on and flooded him. Some were freaking out that he replied to them. Others were begging for him to respond to them.

JC tapped the 'me' tab and went into his profile and then went into settings to edit his profile. First thing he did was change his profile picture; deleting the old photo of him holding his phone to his mouth with the screen facing out. On the screen had been an old application of a mouth that would move when you talked. Browsing the photos he had on his phone he went back and forth trying to decide on a new one to put in place.

He finally settled on a photo Nyla - another member of Girl Radical - had taken. They had been at the studio and he was working with her vocals. During downtime they had been goofing off. He was sitting in an office chair holding his phone up taking a picture of Nyla as she was taking a picture of him. After she snapped the photo, she had sent it to him. For the header, he chose a group shot of him with Girl Radical taken during their showcase show. When the pictures were uploaded he entered in a short bio and deleted the Facebook link to his defunct page.

When he finally got everything up-to-date, JC went back to his timeline and tapped the new tweet button. When the blank screen popped up he stared at it. 'What the hell am I supposed to put?' He wondered. Now that he had everything ready he had no idea what to say. Did he even have anything to say at the moment?

'Let's try this Twitter thing again. I promise to do better this time around.'

*~*

"Is it morning?" Michael mumbled his face buried into his pillow.

"Eleven," Lance yawned as he rolled over onto his back. He threw an arm over his eyes.

"Still too early."

Lance couldn't agree more. They both had a late night, spending most of the night cleaning up the mess in Rachel's room. They had to halt their efforts when the locksmith arrived to change all the locks on the door. It was something that should have been done immediately but no one had expected Ben to be unable to let go.

After the locksmith left, he and Michael spent the rest of the night gathering up clothes sorting them into a wash pile and an 'unable-to-save' pile. Thankfully the second pile wasn't as big. But after they were sorted, everything had to be washed. Upon their cleaning, they noticed a lot of Rachel's lotions and perfumes had been spilled all over the clothes including her shampoo and body wash. It was a mess - a nice smelling one - but a mess none-the-less.

Underneath the covering of clothes, they found the pictures Rachel had in the bedroom. The pictures had been removed from their frames and torn to pieces. Putting the pieces back together like a jigsaw puzzle, there was a photo of Rachel and Lance, Rachel, Lance, Stacy and their parents, Lance, Michael and Rachel. The one photo that made Lance angrier was the photo of his sister and JC from the VMAs. The other photos could be replaced because he was sure there were copies somewhere and if not, they could always take another one. The photo from the VMAs he wasn't sure. He didn't remember who took it, if it was a professional shot or from a personal camera. If it was a professional photograph, he didn't know who took it to see if they miraculously still had a print saved somewhere.

In the grand scheme of it all, it could have been worse. There were numerous things Ben could have destroyed in the house. Lance had a lot of irreplaceable mementoes from his NSYNC days. Michael had more paintings hanging in the basement downstairs each worth around four figures. Not to mention the radio equipment downstairs. Ben had a beef with Rachel and it showed. Not that he liked Michael and him any more.

"We should go finish Rachel's room," Lance removed his arm and turned his head looking at his boyfriend. Rolling onto his side, he pressed his lips to Michael's shoulder. "Wake up," he murmured against Michael's skin. He trailed his lips to his neck, grinning when Michael shrugged his shoulders against the sensation.

Michael withdrew an arm from beneath his pillow and snagged Lance around the waist. He pulled Lance to him even as he turned toward Lance. "I'm awake," he murmured before his lips met Lance's. He worked his leg between Lance's bringing him closer. He ran his hand down Lance's back to his butt where he palmed the cheek; using the hand to press Lance's hips tighter to him as his tongue explored the mouth he knew so well. "Still want to clean?" Michael asked hotly, nudging Lance's hips with his own.

"Never wanted to clean," Lance moaned, rubbing his erection against Michael's leg. His hand slipped beneath Michael's boxer briefs to the round globe of his ass. He kneaded his fingers into the skin, squeezing and releasing in rhythm with his hips. He buried his head in Michael's neck breathing hotly.

Michael rolled them over, pressing Lance into the mattress. The covers twisted around them. He ground his hips against Lance's rubbing their erections together. He hissed at the sensation arching his head back with his eyes clenched. When he opened his eyes to stare down at Lance, he shivered reading the emotions in his boyfriend's yellow-green gaze. "So... cleaning?"

"Fuck cleaning," Lance growled and rolled them over.

*~*

The first thing Rachel saw when she opened here eyes was JC sitting on top of the covers. One leg straight out on front of him, the other tucked in front of him. Sometime while she had been sleeping, he had dressed; a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Lying on the bed next to his bent leg was a notebook, opened and a pencil lying on the pages. In front of JC was his keyboard.

She lay still watching as his fingers moved over the keys. The melody lost on her. She closed her eyes as the emotions rolled through her. She didn't know if she would ever get over the fact that music was forever silenced to her. She wondered how long it would take before she started to forget what certain things sounded like.

Movement from JC broke her train of thought and she watched as his picked up the pencil, scribbling something in the notebook. When he was done, he turned back toward the keyboard. She laid there content to watch JC work. The writing process always fascinated her. Some artists couldn't be bothered, choosing to just sing the songs. She loved working out a melody over and over on the piano until she hit on the right variation. She definitely loved putting words to the melodies she worked out. It was fun when there was a group of people working together. The writing sessions she had with her team and band members were fun-filled, full of laughter and good times.

The headache that pounded in her head the previous night and morning had lessened to a dull ache. She was sure Aleve would finally knock it out. The nausea had passed. The light coming in the windows from the sun wasn't bothering her and she took that as a good sign. Whatever ailment had been plaguing her had passed. Good riddance.

Before JC could go back to the keyboard again, Rachel reached her hand out. JC was close enough for her hand to fully rest against his back without her having to strain. Her heart stumbled at the smile he gave her when he turned to look at her. At his smile she knew she was gone. Over the past weeks they'd been together, he had been taking more and more of her heart. Now it was completely his.

Grabbing his phone from the comforter in front of him, JC moved back to sit next to Rachel. He frowned when he saw her sit up.

"Don't," Rachel scolded him seeing the look he gave her. She crossed her legs and situated the blanket in her lap. "I'm feeling much better; headache is barely noticeable. Promise," she added after JC gave her a disbelieving look. She hooked her arm through his and leaned against him. "What were you working on?"

"'So Small'," JC said, holding his phone so Rachel could read. "I didn't want to sleep anymore in case you needed me and there's only so much you can do on Twitter."

"You were on Twitter!" Rachel gasped, her eyes widening. "Oh my God! And I slept right through it!"

"There wasn't any 'alert-the-press' tweets," JC chuckled. "I reminisced over some photographs fans tweeted, answered questions, said hello to others. Changed my profile pic..."

"You did all that without help?"

"I'm not a complete idiot," JC poked her ribs. "Though I did screw up a hashtag and had to get schooled. I'll have to remember not to be so grammatically correct next time."

"Only with hashtags. If you do that with tweets you'll have the grammar police after you."

"The grammar police?" JC echoed questioningly.

"Oh yeah," Rachel nodded. "Some followers find it their job to correct errors in your tweets."

"Seriously?"

Rachel nodded. "Don't believe me; just send out a tweet using 'your' instead of 'you are'."

JC just shook his head, not having a reply.

"I guess that's one good thing about not being able to hear," Rachel said after a few minutes of silence, nodding toward the keyboard. "You didn't have to worry about disturbing me."

"Yeah well... you see how well it's not coming together."

"I'm sorry, JC," she laid her head down on his shoulder, tightening her arm around his. "I wish I could help you. I really do. I have some snippets floating around in my head. I just don't write them down because what am I going to do with them?"

"Stop. Stop putting yourself down," JC stared at her, his gaze unwavering.

"That sounds like something I say to you."

"Then listen to your own words," he told her. "You are still the amazing singer and songwriter you always were. All that talent is still inside you. You didn't lose it."

"I know. It's just... hard." She sat up, folding her arms in her lap. "There are a couple lines that I can't get out of my head and I think I have some sort of melody down for them but," she shrugged, her words trailing off.

"Hey," JC cupped Rachel's chin, staring into her yellow-green gaze. He leaned forward kissing her softly. "You told me when you were still in the hospital," he watched her eyes drop from his, down to his phone where she read his words as he spoke. "There were only two people you trusted enough to put a melody to your song." He reached down and grabbed his notebook. The loose music paper he had been using earlier fell to the blanket forgotten. "I'm right here."

Rachel looked down at the notebook then back up at JC. His blue eyes stared at her, waiting for her to make a decision. When she reached for the notebook, his blue eyes brightened and crinkled as he smiled. "You're right."

JC beamed. He scooted closer to Rachel and angled himself so he could read as she wrote down the lines that had been floating in her head. He read them quietly. "I could search forever for what's right before my eyes. Just when I thought I'd found it, it was nothing like I'd planned. Here with you I feel it, I close my eyes and I see it. Is that all of it?" He asked when she finished.

"I have a few more lines," Rachel told him. She was slightly nervous. The words she was writing was just some poetry lines that had come to her over the past weeks. To get them to fit in a song, there would be a lot of tweaking, adding here and deleting there. But the first thing she had to do was get it all written down. Editing came later.

"Let's see them," he told her tapping the notebook. When she started writing, he read the words again. In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss, when I'm in your arms, that's where it is. She paused again and he was on the verge of asking if she was finished when she started writing once more. When we're tangled up and can't resist He blushed thinking of the night before. There certainly had been no resistance on either of their parts. When we feel that rush, that's were it is. "You sure you still want me to write with you?" He asked after he finished reading the words. He could already hear the flowing piano music and Rachel's voice. "Because if that's what you come up with every time you sit down to write, you're gonna find my abilities severely lacking."

Rachel blushed at JC's words. The compliments wrapped around her heart. "Of course!" She flipped the pages in the notebook until she came to the new song he had written her. Grasping either side of the notebook, she held it up for him to see. "This song... Have you ever heard a song and just known that it was going to be a hit? That's how I feel about this song. And it makes me so mad that I can't sing it. Because I really want to."

"You will, Rachel. I promise you, you will."