Chapter Five

'I! CAN'T! FUCKING! HEAR! YOU!' The scribbles were sloppy, almost illegible. Anger was pouring from her. The minute Megan left the room Ben had started in on her. She had no idea what she was saying, but his mouth moved a mile a minute. His face darkened with anger. She couldn't do anything but lay and let him go. His words didn't register but she could feel the fury.

"Real fucking convenient," Ben spat as he began pacing the room. "Un-fucking-believable. Do you know how much money you're going to lose? Sure you'll be popular for the next couple of weeks then another star will do something and then you'll be nothing!" He turned around, nailing his girlfriend with a look. She stared at him blankly still holding the stupid board. He shook his head disgusted. Grabbing the board Megan left on the bed, he was in the middle of a reply when the door opened. "What are you doing here?" He asked seeing JC.

The greeting did nothing to soothe JC's anger. It took everything he had not to open his mouth and give Ben a piece of his mind. Instead he let his eyes roll away from Ben as if he was uninterested. That much was true. He had no interest in Ben. When he met Rachel's eyes he was smiling.

Rachel's face lit up noticing JC. She never expected him to visit her. Like most everyone else, she assumed he'd send a text with his well wishes. This was an unexpected surprise. She found herself matching his smile.

"We were in the middle of something," Ben stared at the newcomer. It wasn't the first time he'd met JC. In the beginning of his relationship with Rachel, they had run into the older man at a party in Hollywood. Even back then he didn't like the way they looked at each other. As he watched them now, he realized they were doing it again. "Just put that on the table over there..."

Rachel's gaze flickered to Ben then back to JC. She could feel the tension rolling from their bodies. She knew Ben was talking to JC. Again she didn't know what he was saying. Whatever it was, JC wasn't paying him any attention.

Juggling the items in his hand, JC reached for the marker in Rachel's hand. He saw Rachel blush and quickly erased the words on the board but not before he read them. He clenched his jaw and ignored the man beside him. Leaning down he wrote on Rachel's board. The pink ink made him smile. 'Hey you. I hope you didn't go through all this just to discuss something with me.'

Rachel giggled as she read JC's words shaking her head.

JC cocked his head, staring at Rachel with one eyebrow cocked. The sound was soft but he was certain Rachel had just laughed.

"Rachel needs her rest," Ben stated. His hands fisted in anger. His girlfriend was blushing and giggling like a fifteen year old.

"I know," JC spoke out loud as he wrote on the board again. 'Good. Because really, all you had to do was call.' "I bet you need your rest too. Hear Avalon was hopping last night."

Rachel watched as Ben paled at whatever JC had said. It was getting irritating having people carry on conversations in front of her.

"Ah man," Ben laughed, shaking his head, ridding himself of his earlier anger. "Is that why you are pissed? Because I went out and had a good time? Relieve some of the stress. You don't know how hard it was getting that phone call yesterday that the woman you love was in a car accident then sitting in the waiting room not knowing what was going on."

Rachel took the marker from JC's hand and quickly cleared her board. 'Stop talking to each other without involving me in the conversation or else you'll see just how mad I can get.'

JC chuckled and snatched the marker back from Rachel. 'Shaking Bass.' He looked back at Ben. "You may have Rachel fooled and Lance. Trust me when I say you won't have Lance fooled for long. But I don't trust you. I know you weren't out last night relieving tension. Baffles me as to why you weren't here with the 'woman you love' since you were so worried--"

"She didn't want me here!" Ben's voice rose. He dropped the charming act, seeing JC wasn't buying it.

JC hummed in answer. He felt Rachel steal the pen from his hand again and looked down watching her write. 'If I kick you out will you still leave the gifts?' He laughed shaking his hand and took the pen, writing below her question. 'Who said these are for you?'

Rachel glared at him, taking the marker again. 'JaaaayCeeeeee.' After the writing she wrote the word 'whines' with an asterisk on either side.

It was strange. JC could hear Rachel's voice, drawing out his name as she pleaded with him. He felt his heart flip inside his chest and he smiled at her.

"Just remember who she's sleeping with," Ben said, seeing something pass between Rachel and JC.

"Funny, I don't think I'm the one who needs that reminder," JC didn't either bother to send Ben a look. A couple seconds later, he heard the door open and close. He relaxed and reached for the forgotten board at the foot of Rachel's bed along with the black marker. 'Now,' he wrote. 'I have a million questions.'

Rachel erased her board. 'A million? I might get writer's cramp. Can't I see what's in the bag? And the flowers? Not nice to tease, C.'

'I give them to you now, I won't have any leverage.' Even as he wrote he handed the bouquet of flowers over. He watched with a smile on his face as Rachel held them to her face. As she inhaled their sweet scent, her eyes drifted close.

'They are beautiful JC,' Rachel wrote. The words blurred and she wiped her eyes gingerly. 'You remembered my favorite flower. You were always my favorite.'

JC laughed his heart lighter after reading Rachel's words. 'After Lance of course.'

'Look around JC. Do you see any flowers or balloons in here?' Rachel wrote with a sly smile. 'You're my favorite.'

'Don't forget this.' After he wrote his message, JC held up the Teddy Bear for Rachel to see. His chest expanded seeing the smile on Rachel's face when she saw the bear. Another giggle escaped. It was a beautiful sound.

Rachel took the bear. Its brown fur was soft to the touch. She fingered the bandage around its head and looked at JC with a lopsided grin. 'My favorite flower, my favorite stuffed animal. My favorite color... If there is a Pepsi and a package of Reese Pieces in that bag we're getting married.'

JC laughed out loud reading Rachel's message. Seeing the word marriage pertaining to him and Rachel did something funny to his insides. He imagined just how that would be; how wonderful. 'Where is this coming from?' He wondered. He never once thought of Rachel in a romantic fashion until last night when Matthew put the idea of dating her in his head. Now all of a sudden marriage has him feeling funny inside? What was wrong with him? He handed the bag over to Rachel.

Rachel smiled at him and opened the bag. Moving the tissue paper aside, she was unable to stop the laughter from escaping. Nestled down at the bottom was a bright orange bag of her favorite candy. She closed the bag giggling as she met JC's eyes. His blue eyes twinkled, the corners crinkled from laughing. Reaching out she grasped his hand, giving it a squeeze and mouthed, 'thank you'.

JC smiled and finally took a seat in the chair next to Rachel's bed. As he continued to hold her hand he picked the black marker up again. 'Can I ask you a question?' He looked up at Rachel and saw her nod. It took him a moment to roll the question around in his brain. 'I've heard you giggle and laugh. Why aren't you talking? What happened?'

Rachel read the words and the smile slowly fell from her face. She hadn't meant to laugh out loud, but she had been unable to keep it under control. It was easier to let people think the accident caused the loss of her voice then suffer the embarrassment of having people hear her talk; hear how funny she sounded .The difference in her voice.

JC watched the emotions on Rachel's face. She averted her eyes, not allowing him to look at her. He knew the question wouldn't have been perceived well, but he had to try. He had to know why she wasn't talking, especially when he knew she could. With Rachel's head turned away, he erased his board and quickly wrote out a message. 'I'm sorry Rachel. I didn't mean to cause you anymore pain. I'll keep your secret. But don't let him take your voice. He doesn't deserve it.' When he was finished he capped the marker. Not an easy feat one handed. He squeezed Rachel's hand, grabbing her attention.

Rachel closed her eyes and took a breath before meeting JC's worried gaze. She stared at him until he nodded toward the board being held up by his hand. The words brought tears to her eyes. She watched as he added to his words. 'If you do ever want to talk though, you know you can come to me.' Reluctantly she let go on JC's hand so she could write. 'Thank you JC. I don't care what Lance says, you are the best.'

'What's Lance saying?' JC asked, cocking an eyebrow. 'Do I have to give him a beat down?'

Rachel giggled again, this time not bothering to try and hide the sound. 'Have you ever given anyone a beat down?'

'Are you doubting my abilities, Bass?'

She quickly shook her head as she giggled again.

JC shook his head, a smile on his lips. He grabbed the eraser and cleaned his board off again. 'Probably not a good time to bring it up but you've had me wondering all night last night what you wanted to discuss with me.'

Rachel froze as she read his words. She knew the topic would come up eventually. She had hoped it wouldn't come up so soon. 'It doesn't matter anymore.'

'Yes it does.' JC stared at Rachel and saw that she wasn't going to waiver. 'Pleeeeeeease.'  Copying Rachel from earlier he wrote the word 'whines' with an asterisk on either side.

Rachel rolled her eyes a smile on her face. 'The drugs must be making me soft.' She watched JC throw his head back and laugh. That was a moment she wished she could hear more than anything; to hear JC laugh. It had been awhile since she heard the sound. Remembered it from so long ago when the guys would send him into giggling fits. She cleared the dry erase board off and began to write; slowly as if she really didn't want to tell him. 'I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in writing with me on my next album. And if the right song fell our way, sing with me?'

JC's eyes grew in surprise the further he read. In all honesty he didn't know what Rachel had wanted to discuss with him. This wasn't what he expected. Rachel wanted to write with him on a new album. The only question that came to mind was why. Why would she want to write with him? 'Blown Away' debuted at number one on the Billboard chart, was one of the top ten best selling albums last year. Not to mention the album won an American Music Award for 'Favorite Country Album'. It was also nominated for an Academy Country Music Award for Album of the Year. The big one, in his mind, was the Grammy nomination for Best Country Solo Performance with 'Blown Away'. The album was a success. Eyes would be on her follow- up album and instead of continuing with the same writing team, she wanted him.

'Why?' He watched as Rachel's face fell. She gave a little shake of her head before dropping her eyes and started the task of erasing her board. He reached out touching her hand stilling her movements. Keeping his left hand on hers, he swiped his right hand on his board erasing the question. This time he explained himself. 'You have a fantastic team already in place. Blown Away was a great album. Is a great album! I listen to it a lot. I still listen to Play On and Carnival Ride. You have such good songs on those CDs many that you wrote. Why do you want to change it now? Why me? None of the songs I wrote went anywhere. For me or others. I guess I just don't understand why you want me. And come on, no one wants to hear me sing. So many other great voices out there who you could sing with who are more popular than me.'

Anger built as she read his final lines. It should come as a surprise to her. JC never thought anything he wrote was good enough. Even when he was writing for NSYNC. He wrote a lot but hardly ever tossed his songs into the hat for album consideration. One of the songs he wrote, 'No Strings Attached' was at the top of her favorite lists; along with another JC-penned song, 'Selfish'. It was true she didn't like the image he had portrayed when he went solo. She just couldn't see him as the sex maniac. JC didn't need a gimmick. He just needed to sing. All he had to do was open his mouth and people would flock to his voice, so pure and beautiful.

'I see you still haven't changed.' She reluctantly slipped her hand from JC's to write. 'Still don't believe you're good enough. God JC, that still makes me mad to hear that today as it did back then. When are you going to believe you sing better than most of the singers today? That your voice is amazing. Naturally. When you sing it's all you! If everyone had just half your ability that music industry would be in a helluva lot better place than it is now; filled with auto-tuned singers, lip-synched singers. People who only care about putting on a show instead of actually singing... What the hell was I talking about?'

'How I haven't changed at all.' JC replied trying to hide his smile.

'Anyway. It doesn't matter now. Obviously not going to be singing. So you're off the hook.'

'Hey.' JC frowned. Being off the hook isn't what he wanted. He knew he didn't explain himself very well; wished he could just speak was he was thinking. It was pretty frustrating not to be able to talk. That wasn't fair of him to think though. If he was frustrated, he couldn't even begin to imagine how frustrated Rachel was. He had to suffer through writing everything down. Her whole world was silenced. 'I'm sort of shocked that you'd want to write with me. You're Rachel Bass, country music superstar. Countless awards and sold out tours. You're probably more popular than NSYNC ever was.'

'No way! I remember all those screaming girls in the stands. The ones gathered outside your hotels. Do you know my number one asked question from fans is if you guys will get back together?'

'I'm sorry. That's not fair to you.'

Rachel gave a small wave of her hand, brushing off his apologies. 'It's alright. I'm Lance's sister. Something's not right if I don't get asked about NSYNC. Why are you so shocked that I'd want to write with you?'

'Because I'm not a country music writer.'

'Just because you've never written country doesn't mean you can't. Probably never been asked before.'

'You're the first.'

'Then I feel pretty special. Because I know you're a great song writer, underrated. That's more of your own doing.'

'You trying butter me up to make me say yes?' It made him feel good inside hearing Rachel sing his praises. After his dismal solo effort, he did admit to being down on his abilities. He really expected to go far in his solo career; break out from the boy band blanket that had been tossed over him. Looking back he didn't know what he was thinking going with the sexual directions. Most of the songs off his only album had to deal with sex. It was almost as if he was trying to distance himself as far away from NSYNC as he could. He didn't regret anything he did; he just wished it would have turned out differently.

Rachel gave a sad smile. 'Doesn't matter if you say yes or not. Kind of hard to write and put words to a melody that I can't even hear. Even harder to sing.'

'Now who doesn't believe they are good enough?'

'It's a helluva lot different JC. I can't hear the music to put words down.'

'That doesn't mean you can't write songs anymore.' He wished he could say all this while looking her in the eye to drive his point home. 'The music is still in your head. You can hear the difference between bass and tenor in your head. That's not going to just disappear. You're going to write a lyric and have the melody going through your head and you'll write it down the same way you did before. I have no doubt you can still write a number one song. Only thing now is someone else will have to play it, tweak it.'

'Putting my name to a song that I can't hear? Of course I can read the words but the music could be total crap. Could be a terrible song and I don't know it. People will laugh...There's not very many people I'd trust. Lance. You.'

Pride washed through JC seeing Rachel's words. He tried to imagine writing a song through Rachel's eyes now. He would be able to pen the lyrics. Melodies would go through his head that he'd write down. The process would stop there. He would write the lyrics to the melody in his head but he wouldn't be able to hear them together. He wouldn't be able to hear how they mashed up; if the melody in his head truly worked for the words. When he mashed up the tune and the words he often changed and played around at the keyboard coming up with the perfect melody.

He would have the same fears as Rachel did. You were handing over a lot of trust having someone write the tune to your song and having basically no say. The people around you could tell up it was good, it was going to be a hit and they could be lying, have some ulterior motive. There would be no way to know until you read the reviews. He laid his hand on top of hers, his fingers folding under her hand. His thumb brushed the back of her hand. 'Hearing you say that means a lot to me.

"Hate to interrupt," Megan poked her head into the room. She smiled when she saw the tender scene. The early accidental slip about the two of them dating came back to her mind. They would make a beautiful couple she decided.

'I think I'm getting kicked out.' JC wrote to Rachel.

Rachel frowned reading the words. She quickly ran her eraser over her board and drew a big question mark, looking back and forth between Megan and JC.

Megan sent Rachel a small smile and took JC's board. She read the sentence at the top and wondered what they had been talking about. 'Police are here to take your statement. You guys have been in here for awhile.'

"Wow," JC's eyes widened when he saw the time on his phone. He had spent longer time with Rachel than he originally meant to. The group he was managing was in the middle of shooting their first video. The past few weeks he had been extremely busy. Jimmy, his co-founder, had taken over for him this morning so he could visit Rachel, but he didn't expect to be gone all morning. He looked at Rachel and smiled. Some things were more important.