Chapter Seven

"What are you doing down here by yourself?"

Lance glanced toward the stairs to see his mother walking down. He was laying on the grey couch in the silence. There were two couches in the basement set up in an L-shape, sectioning off a portion of the basement. A wooden round table sat in the middle so it could be used by people sitting on either couch. Directly in front of the couch he occupied sat the desk he used to host his radio show. He hadn't used this studio long - only a week - and now they would be playing reruns for the next few days.

"I'm not by myself," Lance sat up allowing his mother to sit down next to him. He motioned toward the two dogs lying on a brown and tan rug. Both Dingo and Foster were sound asleep. All three of his dogs were rescues. Dingo and Foster were Beagle mixes. They had been tossed along side the highway in trash bags. His third dog, a little terrier mix, Lily was part of a dog fighting ring. She was paraded around in front of the dogs to get them riled up and ready to fight.

"Don't look like very good company at the moment," Diane said as she took her son's hand, clasping their fingers together. "Dishes are done and put away and the kitchen is cleaned up."

"You didn't have to do that Mom. You're supposed to relax." Dinner had been a quiet event. No one had been hungry. He ate to pacify his mother.

"That relaxes me."

"Alright, but I draw the line at you doing my laundry."

"Okay," Diane laughed softly. "I will not do your laundry."

"Good."

"What's on your mind?

"Besides my sister being in the hospital?" Lance asked looking at his mother.

"I know something is bothering you. Out with it. What's with the tension between you, Michael and Ben?"

Lance snorted. "New information has come to light that he's not the upstanding boyfriend we all thought he was."

"What happened?"

"Do you know where he was last night while I was sitting with Rachel in the hospital? He was at a club in LA; drinking and dancing and having a good old time."

Diane shook her head. "While I don't condone that behavior given the circumstances why does that make you mad?"

"He didn't leave alone." Lance said flatly. "And that pisses me off. Because he cheated on her last night that means all those rumors of him cheating prior to this - the ones that I brushed off - were probably true. And I wonder how he was able to slip pass my radar. I'm usually able to pick out the jerks and the players."

"I can't believe this." Diane shook her head sadly. She had only meet Ben a handful of times. If Rachel wasn't touring she was working on a new album or in the studio recording. That left little time to visit Mississippi. But in the few times they had been able to visit, Ben was always polite and pleasant. He was attentive to Rachel's needs and seemed to hang onto her every word and he got along with everyone in the family. No one had a bad thing to say about him.

"Believe it. Ben isn't the person we all believed him to be." Lance told his mother what JC and Megan had told him today. His mother's expression went from sad to horrified as he paraphrased Megan's email. "What really pisses me off is I don't believe he was ever in love with her. Just in love with her money. And now after everything that happened yesterday I have to tell her this. She's going to be crushed."

Diane still couldn't fathom the vile and hateful words Ben had spewed about Lance and Michael in front of Rachel no less. It didn't matter that Rachel couldn't hear it was the fact that he still spoke the words; even thought them. "I don't think so."

"What do you mean? How can she not be crushed when I tell her, her boyfriend is a lying, cheating, bigoted asshole who was only with her for her money and connections?"

"Before you and Michael walked in, Rachel had been telling us that she didn't think her relationship with Ben was going to last much longer. I think maybe she was realizing there was an underlying person that he hid from her and she was just starting to see. I'm not saying finding this out won't hurt but I don't think she'll be that upset."

"He was pushing her to get back in the studio after the tour is over. He didn't want her to take the next year off."

"She was looking forward to the tour being over. Said she couldn't wait to sleep more than a week or two in her own bed."

"I remember how that goes," Lance nodded remembering both the 'No Strings Attached' and 'Celebrity' tours. They were constantly on the go and their time off was close to nonexistent.

"She told me just a couple days ago she wanted to take the next year off. She didn't want anything on her schedule other than what was there. She didn't want to sing in front of crowds or think about a new album. For the whole year she wanted stay here in California spending time with you. I should be jealous."

Lance smiled. "Ah, Mom, you know she would have taken the time and flown to Mississippi to visit with you and Dad. But it would have been nice to have her here for longer than a week." He sighed. "Funny how that works. Wishing she'd be around so we could actually spend time together and now..." He let his words trail off.

"Hey," Diane squeezed Lance's hand. "Don't think like that. We don't know if this is going to be temporary or permanent. It's only been a day. As she starts to recover she could regain her hearing. We need to stay positive. We definitely need to stay positive in front of your sister. Right now it's the only thing we can do."

Lance stayed on the couch even after his mother bid him goodnight and climbed the stairs. His mother was right; they needed to stay positive. They needed to keep Rachel's spirits up. He stared at the microphones on the desk and tried to imagine never being able to hear sound again. He couldn't. He couldn't imagine being forever encased in silence. Music was a major part of his life. To never hear another melody or lyric...He started when Michael dropped down beside him. He hadn't heard him come down the stairs. He reached for Michael's hand turning it when a drop of color caught his eyes on the pinkie side of Michael's hand. It was a smear of red. A clue as to what Michael had been doing why he'd been down here in the silence.

"I didn't know what I was painting," Michael spoke and he settled into the couch, his body naturally moving to lean against Lance. "Just started painting." Art ran in his family, stemming from his Grandmother. He had painted a lot when he was a child but slowly stopped. He hadn't picked up a brush until roughly six months ago. Now he was in a painting craze. Around the basement his paintings were leaning against the walls waiting to be hung. The house was being overrun with his portraits but Lance didn't seem to mind.

"Sometimes that's when the best masterpieces come," Lance murmured comfortably; his thumb brushed over the back of Michael's hand.

"I wanted to keep on going."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I wanted to be with you." When Lance turned his head toward him, Michael dipped down pressing his lips to his boyfriend's. His lips opened and closed over Lance's; their breaths mixing. He pushed Lance down on the couch looming over him. He kissed Lance for a couple minutes longer before settling down beside him.

Lance wrapped his arms around Michael. Their legs tangled together. "You know we can't sleep like this." His voice deepened with his tiredness. Both he and Michael loved to cuddle with one another but they could never fall asleep that way. Michael moved and fidgeted in his sleep and Lance got too hot. They found it easier to cuddle in bed and when they both grew tired, part before falling asleep.

"Shhh," Michael whispered closing his eyes. "Just lay here with me."

"Couldn't get me to move." Lance shifted his body slightly, allowing Michael to rest more comfortably against him.

"You're moving." Michael murmured.

"Quiet," Lance whispered and allowed his eyes to close, finally content.

~*~

The alone feeling was back when Rachel woke. The room was dark and the shades were pulled. Carrie explained earlier that she had kicked her family out for the night stating she needed rest. Rachel understood Carrie was just doing her job but she wished that hadn't been the case. After the doctor had looked her over and taken x-rays as a precautionary measure, she had slept most of the day. So she figured it was good that her family wasn't with her. They would have been bored watching her sleep. But now she was awake and alone.

She sighed and reached for her phone sitting on the tray next to the bed. The battery was still full from Lance charging it before he brought it to her. Powering the phone on, it went crazy in her hand as voicemails and texts came through. Rachel never thought it would stop vibrating. The first thing she did was turn off the ring tone.

The next hour she spent going through her e-mails. She replied to some personally. Others she forwarded to Megan and Alison to handle. She logged onto her Facebook page and posted a brief status. There were no details and very little medical information. She thanked everyone for their thoughts and prayers. A variation of the same status - albeit shorter - went up on Twitter.

The last task was her text messages. There were dozens upon dozens. It made her wonder if they all came though or if her phone was waiting for her to delete and make room. There were texts from numbers she didn't have in her phone. Most of the said 'get well soon' but left no name. Finally, Rachel decided she didn't want to deal with the numbers. If the text hadn't popped up with a name because the contact was in her phone, she didn't bother; she just simply erased. She knew it wasn't a nice thing to do but she couldn't respond to every one.

Finally she got to the text messages from her contact list and there were a lot of them; other artists, friends from back home, friends in California, Nashville, artists' personal assistants, publicists... the list went on. She smiled seeing Stacy's name and tapped out a message to her sister. Then she brought up a new message sending one out to both Michael and Lance.

'I can't believe you guys got kicked out! Do I even want to know what you did?' She was surprised when a response popped up from Michael.

'You don't want to know. How are you feeling?'

'Not feeling much of anything. Still on a lot of drugs. Slept all day and now I'm wide awake.'

'Same here. Wide awake.' Michael carefully tilted his head up and stared at Lance; his face relaxed in sleep. Waking up he had been surprised to find out they fell asleep on the couch in the basement. He didn't want to wake Lance so he tried to limit his movement which had been hard when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He thought for sure the ministrations would wake Lance up.

'I won't tell if you want to sneak in and keep me company but if you get caught you're on your own.' Rachel text. 'Lance asleep?'

'Yes. Last night was rough and then today... You're doing a pretty good job at freakin him out. Can you please stop?'

Rachel chuckled. It was weird to feel herself laugh but not hear the sound. 'I'll try to refrain from messing with him. I'm cancelling the rose order as we speak.'

'Not funny.'

'I'm sorry. I haven't been that scared in awhile.' After experiencing the attack she was glad she couldn't remember the accident. Every second of the attack she knew. She could remember gasping for breaths, Lance's panicked eyes, feeling him squeezing her hand. His lips had been moving, talking to her. She had no idea what he'd been saying; she just kept staring at him fighting to breath until nurses shoved him out of the way. When that happened she wanted to yell for him to come back.

'You scared the crap out of us.' Michael knew it would be awhile before he got the look of terror in Rachel's eyes out of his head.

'Carrie said there is a sign posted on the door now. I even got a bracelet on my wrist now.'

'Accessorizing even in the hospital.' He made a joke but he was glad they had is posted. He was sure flowers and cards would come pouring in soon enough. Now that everyone had been made aware of the situation, roses would be headed off at the pass and wouldn't make it to her room.

'Stop by my place and get my red nail polish and eye shadow. I can totally rock this.'

'Would you like red heels and dress as well?' He chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" Lance mumbled. His voice lower than normal; laced with sleepiness.

"I'm sorry." Now that Lance was awake Michael moved to sit up. Lance followed suit, sitting up next to him. "Let's go to bed before you really wake up and can't get back to sleep."

"I'm good," Lance yawned as he settled deeper into the couch leaning against Michael. "What were you laughing at?"

"Your sister," Michael held his phone up for Lance to see, watching as his boyfriend closed his eyes against the bright back light. "She can't sleep."

Lance took Michael's phone, squinting as his eyes got used to the light. Reading back through the texts he rolled his eyes. "You two are crazy. Ask her what she wants from her place. We'll stop by in the morning before going to the hospital."

"Probably not safe for you to be around Ben," Michael said as he typed out Lance's message to Rachel.

"He nearly killed my sister!" Lance exploded. "I have a right to be pissed about that!"

"I know, Lance; I was there. I'm not saying you don't have a right to be pissed. Hell I'm pissed at him."

"How can he not know she's allergic to roses?" Lance could feel himself getting riled up again.

"Maybe he's never bought them for her?" Michael answered as Rachel replied to his text. 'Phone charger. I've just about killed my phone tonight. Comfy clothes. I hate this gown. Socks. My feet are freezing'

"In two years he never bought her flowers? I find that hard to believe."

"I don't know Lance, you've never bought me flowers and we've been together for almost two years." Michael grinned.

Lance rolled his eyes. "Do you want flowers Turkey?"

"Well no, not know. I mean I practically had to ask you to get me flowers. It loses its meaning."

"You're a dumbass," Lance smiled as he pushed himself up from the couch stretching. He yawned and rubbed his hands over his face. "Let's go."

"You smooth talker you," Michael said. He followed suit and got up from the couch following Lance up the stairs.

"Do you want me to serenade you with pop boy band songs?" Lance said quietly as they climbed the stairs to the second story.

"You don't remember any of the lyrics." Michael closed the door to their bedroom, leaving it cracked slightly. The dogs would be in and out all night.

"True," Lance chuckled. He had forgotten a lot of the words to their songs. The other week a song from their 'No Strings Attached' album played on the radio. He tried to sing along but he completely messed up the lyrics singing the wrong words. He and his personal assistant, Lisa, had a good laugh about it. He changed out of his clothes, tossing them in the hamper before crawling beneath the covers waiting for Michael.

Michael finished in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and removing all the paint from his hands. When the bathroom light was flipped off it cast the room into darkness. It was unneeded anyway; he didn't need a light to see where he was going. Even after only living in the house for three months, he knew the layout well enough to move around in the dark. Beneath the covers he turned toward Lance. Moving up on his elbow he leaned down kissing Lance. "I love you."

Lance stared up at Michael, barely making out his face in the dark. Hearing Michael's declaration made him pause. It's not the first time he's heard the words from Michael. They'd been saying those words to each other for a long time since early in their relationship. Hearing Michael though nudged a thought in his mind. Rachel would never hear those words from the man she loved.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized that Rachel will never get to experience that. Hearing the man she loves say those words to her." He explained further. "And I'm not talking about Ben. You and I both know that relationship is not going to last. I'm talking about the one she's going to marry and spend the rest of her life with. She'll never hear him say, 'I love you'."

"There are other ways," Michael answered. He shifted his body, placing one arm over Lance, pressing his hand into the mattress next to Lance's waist. His lower body pressed against Lance, their legs tangled. He leaned down pressed his lips first to Lance's Adam's apple then trailing a line of kisses along his unshaven jaw; the stubble was coarse against his lips. "Like giving her flowers; her favorite flowers. Stuffed animals. Her favorite candy..." he smiled against Lance's lips.

"Hey wait a minute --" Lance's protests were muffled when Michael pressed his lips against his. He struggled for a few seconds before giving in. He wrapped his arms around his love and pulled him down.

~*~

When Michael failed to respond, Rachel sat her phone down on her stomach. She figured he finally fell asleep. She wished she could do the same. Sleeping sure would pass the loneliness. Even if someone had been here with her it would probably still feel lonely because no doubt whoever it was would probably be sleeping right now. She didn't feel right waking someone up just to keep her company.

There were a lot of things she needed to think about and a lot of things she didn't want to think about. At the top of the list was her singing. She wasn't sure the category that fell into yet. It was something she didn't want to think about - the thought of never singing again. At the same time music was a big part of her life; had been for a long time. Now she couldn't hear. That was definitely not a topic she wanted to think about. It was too depressing.

Another topic was Ben. For awhile now their relationship had been fizzling. Rachel had been seeing things come out that was starting to turn her off. It was like he had kept a side of himself hidden from her and now two years in it was harder to hide and he was slipping. His temper had started to show and they fought more. He skipped a lot of her shows but was quick to be by her side at award shows and the subsequent parties afterward.

In the beginning she had brushed off the cheating rumors when they swirled. Hollywood was filled with gossip rags. Anyone would say anything to make a buck whether it was true or not. Learning from Lance back in his NSYNC days, she never read any of the gossip sites. She only heard about rumors if they were sent to her by friends or if Megan or Alison brought them to her attention as something that needed to be taken care of.

Lately the cheating rumors started to get louder and louder. They were harder to ignore and brush off. When she brought them up with Ben, he never really flat out said he wasn't. He would always be able to turn the conversation onto another topic. Their interests had changed. Ben wanted more and more to go out and be seen with all the right people at the right places. She more or less wanted to sick close to home and her close circle of friends. She was never one for the party scene. It didn't stop Ben; he started going out without her. Never even stopping to ask if she wanted to go anymore.

The off time sure opened her eyes to the new side of Ben. It was hard to see all this when she was living on a tour bus going from city to city and he was back here in California. Rachel tried to find herself to feel hurt of the thought of Ben cheating on her and the fact that they had grown apart but she couldn't. When she realized she couldn't find the hurt, she realized she didn't love him anymore. Somewhere along the way she simply stopped loving him. Now she had to figure out what to do about it.

Rachel sighed and picked up the Teddy Bear at her side. A smile grew on her face as she stroked the soft fur and thought of JC. It had been so nice of him to stop by and visit her; especially nice of him to bring her gifts. She stared across the room to the flowers. In the darkened room she was only able to see their outline. But she knew they were beautiful. She picked up her phone, blinking against the backlight. Her eyes had already adjusted to the darkness. 'Just wanted to say thank you for visiting me today. And thanks for the flowers and Teddy Bear. He's keeping me company tonight.'

'Lucky bear. What are you doing awake?'

The surprise Rachel had felt when Michael text her earlier didn't compare to the surprise she felt now. She knew better than to expect JC to be awake at this hour. 'What am I doing awake? What are YOU doing awake? I don't remember you ever being awake at this hour. Even the one before this and the one before that.'

'Haha. I haven't changed. I still love to sleep. I forgot to turn my phone to vibrate so it woke me up.'

'Crap. I'm sorry.'

'No worries. What are you doing awake?'

'Can't sleep. Slept all day so now I'm wide awake.'

'Figured you'd be worn out with your parents there, not to mention Lance and Michael.'

'They all got kicked out. I wasn't allowed any visitors. It's been a rough day.'

Rachel's text prompted him awake. He read the text again to make sure he didn't read it wrong while he was half asleep. 'Why? What happened???'

'Ben brought me roses.'

'WHAT!!!!!' JC sat up in bed as he sent the text. The covers pooled in his lap exposing his chest to the cool night air. He was wide awake now. 'Are fucking kidding me? Please tell me you're joking in a not so funny manner.'

'Sorry C. It's the truth. Ben brought me roses.'

'That fucking bastard,' JC thought as he read Rachel's message. How could Ben have brought Rachel roses? Everyone knew she was allergic to them. He knew not to bring her roses; not that he would ever. Her favorite flowers were lilies. Those were the flowers he'd always buy her. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm okay. Dr upped my medication. I had to go get x-rays make sure I didn't aggravate rib fracture even more. I didn't. Just caused more pain. But nurse kicked everyone out. Not sure but think something may have happened between Lance and Ben.'

JC could just imagine what happened between the two men. If it was anything less than a right hook to Ben's face, JC would be disappointed. He couldn't believe what Ben had done. Out of all the stupidest things...'But you're okay?'

Rachel smiled. 'Yeah, C. I'm okay. I'll let you get back to sleep. I know how you love your sleep.'

'I'm okay. I can keep you company.'

'Giving up sleep for me? I'll try not to take that the wrong way ;)'