Chapter Eight

Rachel had hoped to be ready by the time visiting hours rolled around the next morning. But when nine struck she was fast asleep. Her untouched breakfast tray still sat on the table tray next to her bed.

Diane wanted to reach out and touch Rachel's cheek but resisted. She didn't want to wake her daughter, figuring she needed the sleep. She sat the bag she had gathered from Rachel's house on the small wooden table near the window. The lilies emitted a sweet scent and she leaned down breathing deeply. She fingered a soft pink petal. The flowers were gorgeous. "JC dating anyone?"

"What?" Lance's eyes widened at his mother's question. He heard Michael snicker beside him. "Why do you want to know?"

Diane turned from the flowers to face her son. "No reason," she smiled.

"Right," Lance said slowly. "You just want to know if JC's dating anyone for no reason."

"Well I know everyone else's. Justin just got married. Joey's been married forever. Chris is engaged," Diane told him.

"Don't go getting any ideas."

"What are you thinking?" James asked his wife. He can see her brain turning.

"Just that it was awful nice of JC to bring her flowers and visit."

"It's JC, Mom; he's like that." Lance told her.

"It's a good quality to have."

"Oh boy," James spoke under his breath. He caught Lance's eyes shaking his head. "Hon, I don't think it's a good idea to try to play matchmaker right now."

"Right," Diane said. "Have to get rid of Ben first." She spat out her daughter's boyfriend's name. After listening to Lance talk last night, she didn't have an ounce of respect left for Ben anymore. "And that house," she moaned. It had certainly not been what she expected. With Rachel's crazy touring schedule, it was easier for Rachel to slip into Mississippi for a visit. The occasional times Diane and James made it to California; they stayed with Lance and Michael. After seeing Rachel's house, she knew she wouldn't be comfortable in it.

"Won't be hiring her decorator huh?" Lance asked with a slight smile. He hated walking into his sister's house. The house was large and lavish; gaudy. It was so cold and uninviting. He always felt like he was trespassing.

"Only if it's the decorator who did the basement," Diane said. The basement in the house was unlike the rest of the house. The top levels screamed, 'I got money and I'm better than you'. It was also void of personal items. No photographs hung on the wall.

"Not sure how she was able to have the basement that way," Lance spoke thinking of the inviting basement. Whenever he did visit, that was the room they would end up in. "Rachel says she writes better down there."

"Maybe that's why," Michael said. "She writes better in the basement, the better she writes, the more money she makes. The better Ben will be."

"The basement is what I always pictured Rachel's place looking like," Diane spoke as she pictured the basement. It was warm and inviting. Soft tan carpet on the floor paired with equally soft brown couches. Photographs and paintings adorned the walls. One wall held a floor to ceiling entertainment center with a medium sized television in the middle. The shelves will filled with books, picture frames, knick knacks, and photo albums. A wicker basket sat on the bottom shelf. Inside were folded up letters from fans that Rachel had kept. Letters from children; their words misspelled and crocked. Letters from people saying how her music helped them during a hard time in their lives. Letters from people saying just how much they loved her music. One thing that stood out on the shelves was a small silver statue holding a flag.

Flashback

Diane sat the top letter back in the basket, wiping a stray tear caused by the beautiful words she had just read. Reading those words had made her so proud that her daughter was such a role model for people. She stood up and looked at the items in front of her. She recognized some knick knacks that came from her daughter's childhood room. Souvenirs that Lance had sent from Europe. Frames encased pictures of Rachel with NSYNC, Rachel with Lance, Lance and Michael. There was a photo of Rachel with both sets of grandparents, photos of Leighton, Keegan, and Kellen at varying stages.

She laughed seeing the Lance Bass Marionette doll. She reached out touching the face. "I always thought you looked so angry in this. I can't believe she has this."

"She has them all," Lance said, taking the Marionette doll down. He held it up, wiggling it watching his likeness move on the strings.

"This looks nothing like you," Michael said taking the doll from Lance. "That ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye," he sang making the doll dance.

"Michael did you paint this?" James asked looking at one of the paintings hanging on the wall. He recognized Michael's signature in the corner, but it was so different from the paintings he'd seen at Lance's.

"I did," Michael smiled remembering how excited Rachel had been when she opened the painting.

"She was blown away," Lance grinned as Michael rolled his eyes.

"This is fantastic," James said looking at the picture of his daughter. The background was a tornado and Rachel stood in the front. Michael had captured the blowing wind with Rachel's hair and dress whipping in the wind.

"What is that?" Diane asked drawing the attention back to her.

"What's what?" Lance asked trying to follow his mother's line of sight.

"The statue up there," she pointed to the top shelf.

"Oh wow," Lance said when he saw the statue. He reached up grabbing the statue. "It's a Moonman. It's the award from the MTV Video Music Awards."

"But Rachel's never won that," Diane asked confused.

Lance laughed when he saw the date on the award - 2001. "I can't believe she still has this." He said more to himself than anyone. He chuckled softly shaking his head.

"Care to fill in the rest of the class," Michael asked.

"It's one of ours," Lance looked up meeting his mother's eyes.

"It's yours?"

"Technically. When a group wins an award we each get one," Lance explained. "I have all mine..."

"So whose is this one?" James asked taking the statue from his wife to look at it.

"JC's," Lance took the statue when his father was finished. "Rachel was JC's stand-in date for the awards back in 2001. During the red carpet one of the reporters asked Britney about the jewelry she was wearing. It was a gift from Justin for the award show. So naturally Chris couldn't leave it alone, so after the show he decided to interview each one of us asking what we got our dates. JC had answered he had gotten his a Moon Man and handed one off to Rachel. I wonder if JC even remembers giving it to her."

End flashback

Before they had left, Lance had snapped a picture of the statue sending it to JC along with the message, 'Found this at Rachel's. Look familiar?' They had won four awards that night, all pertaining to the 'Pop' video. That had been the final year they'd won a VMA. They'd been nominated three times the following year but didn't win. 2002 was the final year the group had won an award; winning one award at Teen Choice Awards, People's Choice Awards and American Music Awards. 2003 they had only been nominated for one award for the entire year - a Grammy - which they didn't win.

Lance reached for his phone when he felt it buzzing in his pocket. Pulling it out, he read the text from JC. 'Nice! I didn't think she still had it.'  As he read the text another one from JC came through. 'Think she'll even trade for one of her Grammy's?' He chuckled at JC's words. It bugged the group that after all the nominations they'd received they never won a Grammy.

"What's so funny?" Michael asked, leaning over to get a better look at Lance's phone.

"JC wants to know if Rachel will trade him the Moonman for a Grammy," Lance told Michael and his parents.

"Shame you guys never won a Grammy," Diane stated. "You definitely deserved one. Especially for the performance you did on there one year for This I Promise You. JC did such a wonderful job."

Lance and Michael exchanged looks. "Are we going to hear how awesome JC is until Rachel either tells you to knock it off or they wind up together?"

"Think it will work?"

Lance rolled his eyes and took a seat in the chair at the table. He turned it so he had a view of his sister, still lying peacefully in the bed. He sort of envied her at the moment; sleeping soundly not a sound in the world could disturb her.

"Think how your mom will react when she finds out Rachel wanted to sing a duet with him." Michael smirked at Lance's look.

"What? When did this happen?" Diane asked looking back and forth between the boys.

"When she really gets going on this... JC and Rachel deal...and Rachel's at her wit's end, I'm telling her it was all your fault."

"What duet Lance?" Diane asked impatiently.

"I don't know Mom. All I know is Rachel text JC wanting to speak with him before the accident. She told me afterward that she had wanted him to write with her on the new album and maybe sing a song if one fell their way. I don't even know if JC knows about it; if she told him."

"Oh that'd be such a beautiful song," Diane gushed. "Their voices together. Be magic." She narrowed her eyes at her son seeing the look he was giving her. "Weren't you the one just the other day talking about what a great and talented singer JC was? Pretty sure you agreed with Drew when he said the music industry needs more singers like him."

"Sometimes I forget there are people listening," Lance said. But he couldn't disagree with his mother. After playing the clip of JC singing The Lumineers song, he said say that JC had one of the greatest voices.

"It is a radio show Lance," Michael pointed out. "People do listen. It's kind of the point."

"Yeah well..." Movement caught Lance's eye and he looked up seeing Rachel moving in bed. He stood from the chair and moved to one side of the bed with Michael as his parents took the other side.

"I don't know if I should take her hand or something to let her know we are here," Diane stated softly.

"She's gonna open her eyes and see all of us and scream," James said, wrapping an arm around Diane's shoulders as they both stared down at their daughter.

Michael moved away from Lance and walked to the table where he picked up both dry erase boards and markers. Moving back to Lance, he uncapped the black marker and wrote. 'You plan on sleeping the entire day away?' He held the board up so Rachel would be able to read it when she opened her eyes. "Is she smiling?"

"I think so," Lance said seeing a small smile on Rachel's lips. He wondered what brought the smile. "Maybe she's not waking up and she's dreaming?" He hadn't finished his question when Rachel's eyes opened. Her green eyes stared directly at him. He smiled at her and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.

Rachel smiled at Lance, holding his hand. On the cusp of consciousness she felt him near. She allowed her gaze to drift, seeing Michael next to Lance holding up the board. As she read his words her grin widened. She looked to the other side of the bed, seeing her parents. She reached out with her free hand, clasping her mother's hand. After a minute she let go of Lance's hand and accepted the dry erase board. 'You should have woken me up! I meant to be awake when visiting hours started.'

'If you'd go to bed at a decent time instead of up half the night texting.'

'Hey; you were texting me back!' Rachel told Michael. 'Speaking of, I killed my phone last night. I couldn't sleep. Did you bring my charger?'

Lance nodded and moved away from the bed. He dug through the bag his mom had sat on the table, producing the white cord. He moved behind his parents to grab Rachel's phone next to the uneaten breakfast trey then set about searching for a close outlet to plug it in.

'How are you feeling today?' Diane wrote after taking the board from Michael.

'A little sore and achy. But otherwise...' She shrugged. 'I was up most of the night. Couldn't sleep because I slept all day.'

'I'm sorry Honey.' Diane felt bad. She knew it wasn't their fault Rachel had slept all day, but she still felt bad that her daughter had lain awake all alone during the night.

'It's alright. I checked my messages, Twitter, text Michael and JC until my phone died. What?' She asked seeing looks behind exchanged amongst the four. She felt left out.

'You were texting JC?' Diane asked, smiling.

'I just sent him a text thanking him for the flowers. I didn't think he'd reply. It was like 2am; he's never up that late. He loves sleep.'

"This is true," Lance spoke moving back to his sister's side after plugging her phone in to charge. He took his sister's marker and wrote beneath her words. 'Found something interesting at your house.' He saw Rachel's questioning look and he showed her the picture of the Moonman on his phone.

Rachel took Lance's phone grinning seeing the statue. That statue had been a fixture in her knick knacks since 2001. Not that she could really classify the VMA award as a knick knack. The award reminded her of the fun she had that night. It also reminded her that for the night she had been JC's date; not that there had been anything between them. But she had gotten to hug him, hold his hand. Just be by his side and even though she wasn't his real date, he had treated her like one. At the parties they had attended after the award show, he was attentive to her and didn't leave her on her own the minute they entered.

She erased the board and wrote. 'If I remember correctly I think I lucked out. Britney got jewelry, I got the moonman. You got....'

Lance quickly pulled the board away from his sister glaring at her. She met his glare head on, her eyes twinkling devilishly. He erased the board with his hand and wrote 'brat' in big capital letters. What he got his date that night was not suitable for his mother's ears. Neither were Joey or Chris's answers.

"You got what Lance?" Michael asked.

"Really drunk," Lance answered tapping the board again so Rachel would reread the word. He erased the word and wrote another message. 'I took a picture and showed JC; he wants it back.' The smirk on his face faltered seeing Rachel's eyes dim. He quickly erased the words and scrawled messily, 'Just kidding! He wants to know if you'll trade him a Grammy for the moonman.'

Rachel reached for the pink marker and answered the question. 'Considering he's not getting it back it seems only fair. If I win this year he can have that one.'

Lance's eyes widened reading the words. He motioned for the board his mother held and wrote 'Seriously?' He watched as Rachel nodded. 'Wow,' he thought. He took a picture of the board with Rachel's proposition and sent it to JC. 'There's your answer my friend. Looks like you're gonna be rooting for Rachel to win.'

'Always do.' JC replied.

Lance erased the board and handed it back to Rachel before giving the other board back to his mother. He smiled at Rachel before stepping back from the bed to let his parents have their time. He couldn't get the look in Rachel's eyes out of his mind when he joked about giving the award back. He didn't know why it meant so much to her.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked sitting down on the floor in front of the chair Lance had sat down in. He leaned back against Lance's legs.

Lance sat up in the chair and leaned down near Michael's ear. "Way back when, Rachel had a crush on JC. I'm talking about the minute she first met him and all through NSYNC years."

"You think she's not over it?"

"I thought she was," Lance said. "She barely sees him now. Heck she sees him less than I do." He wasn't sure what to think about all this. Maybe he was reading too much into it.

"I know one thing," Michael spoke after a period of silence.

"What's that?"

"Don't tell your mother."

~*~

'What's going on?' Lance wrote after the door closed after his parents and Michael went to lunch. He stayed behind at Rachel's request. He wasn't sure what Rachel wanted to talk to him about.

'I need your help.' Rachel wrote looking up at Lance. Talking like this was frustrating and she wished she could blurt out what she wanted to talk about.

'Anything. You know that.' He sat on the bed next to Rachel. 'Suspense is killing me. Come on; out with it.'

Rachel sent him a small smile and started writing on her board. She took a deep breath before she turned the board around letting Lance read her words. 'After I get out of the hospital, can I move in with you and Michael?'

Lance's eyes widened at Rachel's words. He tried to think of a reason she wanted to live with him but came up empty. Rachel was looking at him expectantly and he sent her a smile. 'Of course you can.' He quickly wrote. It didn't matter the reason; Rachel was always welcome at his place for however long or short she wanted. 'What about Ben?' The thought rushed through his head and he narrowed his eyes. There was no way Ben was staying at his place. 'You can stay.... forever if you want but Ben. Listen, we need to talk about Ben.'  This was a conversation he didn't look forward to having. There was no way he was going to let his sister stay with Ben any longer to be cheated on and taken advantage of.

'I'm breaking up with Ben.' She saw Lance relax. 'You didn't like him?'

'Your accident opened my eyes on a lot of things pertaining to Ben. He wasn't who I thought he was. A lot of things came out.' Lance cringed when he saw what he had written. It was too late to erase.

'What happened?' Rachel asked wanting to know what had gone on while she was laid up. She saw her brother was reluctant to tell her so she erased her question and started writing. 'This isn't a new development. I didn't wake up this morning and want to break up with him. It's been coming for a long time. We shouldn't have lasted this long.'

Lance read Rachel's words as she wrote; shocked that Rachel had been thinking about breaking up with Ben for a long time. He was sure his sister had been snowed on Ben's antics. Maybe she wasn't in the dark as he thought.

'I think he's cheating on me. I don't know for a fact and can't prove it. He hardly comes to my shows preferring to stay back here. He wants to be seen at all the right places, get his picture taken. And the way he's been treating me since the accident. He knows I'm allergic to roses Lance. The way he still talks like I can hear him. He was yelling at me. I knew he was yelling but I couldn't understand what he was saying.' She ran out of room on the board. Toward the end her words were running together and getting smaller and smaller. She wasn't sure if Lance could even read them. She stared at him, watching his reaction as he read. When he nodded at her, she erased the words and continued writing. 'Truthfully, I don't love him anymore.'

'I'm sorry Rachel.' Lance wrote frowning.

'It's okay. I'm okay. Really. I'm not hurt or upset about it. So what does that tell you?'

'I love you.' Lance showed Rachel the board with a smile. He reached for her hand, holding it in his. 'There a specific reason you want live with me than stay at your place?'

Rachel released his hand to answer. 'I hate my place. Absolutely hate it!!!'

Lance laughed out loud. 'Thank God!'

'Why do you think I toured so much?'

'Well you were taking time off because you wanted to spend my time at home...'

'To redecorate!' Rachel giggled. 'I was kicking Ben out. I was actually thinking about finding a new place. I really don't like that house.'

'So you want to live with me and Michael until what? You find a new place?'

'Until...open-ended???'  Rachel smiled at him sheepishly, giving her shoulders a little shrug. 'I don't know.'

'Forever?'

Rachel chuckled softly. 'I don't think Michael will agree to that. Let's just say until I come to grips with not being able to hear and can live on my own. I mean I know I can live on my own right now no problem. It wouldn't be that difficult. It's just that I...'

Lance reached out touching Rachel's hand, stopping her words. 'I understand. You can stay with me however long you want to. You know this.' The smile Rachel sent him had to have been the biggest one he'd seen since the accident. It made him feel better knowing he put it there.

'Can I ask you another favor?'

Lance rolled his eyes. 'Give an inch they take a mile.' He grinned at her letting her know he was teasing. 'Alright Sis. Give 'em to me. Let me hear all your favors. I'm feeling pretty giving today.'

'No wonder Michael's in a good mood today.' Rachel tried to raise her eyebrow but she didn't know if she succeeded or not.

'Funny funny girl.' Lance chuckled, shaking his head. 'Get on with it before I change my mind.'

'Can you move me out of the house? I don't want it all. Just my things. The basement and the bedroom. Only thing I want from the main floor are my awards. The rest can stay. I just don't know where to put it. I don't want it all going to your place.'

'I'll take care of it.'

'Thank you.' Rachel was relieved. 'I don't know how Ben will react when I break it off. I don't want him to take it out on my things. Oh man... I have to get out my lease and cancel the utilities and take Ben off accounts. How am I supposed to do all that when I can't talk or hear them?' She looked at Lance.

'Hey. We'll get it all figured out.' Lance squeezed Rachel's hand reassuringly.