Author's Chapter Notes:
The guilt and pressure starts to build, causing Lance to lash out.

-13-

Bass Home

“You both are drivin’ me absolutely crazy, ya know that?”

Lance looked up at his friend, stopping in the middle of his sit up, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. His ab muscles bulged from his crunched position before he pulled himself up fully. He tugged at the collar of his shirt. “What are you talking about?” he asked before slowly lowering himself back to the floor.

“Well for one thin’, you’re not ‘sposed to be doin’ any strenuous physical activity,” Darren replied, appearing and retreating from Lance’s line of vision as he continued to move through his sit ups.

“They’re sit ups,” he said, deadpan. He stopped a second time, taking in deep breaths of air. “I’m sure my heart isn’t going to explode from that.”

“You never know,” Jasmine chirped from where she was doing sit ups beside him.

Not like he was able to do much more around the house with his friends keeping a constant eye on him. She was the only one who wanted to get up early for a run with him that morning. Or rather, she was the only one who wanted to get up early to keep an eye on him. One simple hospital visit and he couldn’t do anything on his own.

Ok, so it wasn’t a simple hospital visit—the medical bill would definitely attest to that. Nor would his mother’s constant fussing over him since the minute her flight landed. On the one hand, he did enjoy having his parents around and the food was as savory and delectable as ever. On the other hand, he had moved out to California for a reason; A: to continue his career in the entertainment business, B: to immerse himself in an environment where his sexuality was accepted more, and C: to live on his own and take care of himself. There were too many people visiting, stopping by as they “were in the neighborhood” and calling to “see how things were going.”

Not that he could really blame him. The minute news hit about any celebrity going into medical care no matter what the reason, rumors and stories started to fly. The scripture attached to this gem of a news story was pretty dead on: Ex-Pop Star Bass in Brawl. Not the cleverest thing anyone has come up with, but someone was getting a good pay day for their fifteen minutes for being an “eye witness.” Who knew if the person that went to the press was even at the fight that afternoon? Anyone would do anything to not only get a leg up in the industry, but to prove that they had some inside scoop of a “big name.”

“Ok, so who else are you talking about?” Lance asked with a brief roll of his eyes.

“Who else?” Jasmine asked with a grin, wiggling her eyebrows. “He’s talking about Aaaaanaleeeeeeigh.” Lance chuckled along with her.

“And you wonder why after Jazz I never begged mom and dad for another sibling,” Darren said flatly, his cheeks turning a bright pink despite keeping his face as neutral as possible.

“Because I’m so awesome?” Jasmine asked with a bright smile a she stretched her legs out in front o her, bending at the waist to grasp the tops of her shoes, showing off her flexibility. “No one would compare to me.”

“Because I was afraid they’d turn out exactly like you,” Darren instantly replied, making a face at her. Jasmine frowned before sticking her tongue out at him.

“You’re mean,” she said with a pout.

Lance rolled his eyes before putting his face into his sweaty palm. “What’s happening this time?” he asked. “Or not happening, I should say. The usual?”

“I’d talk t’her, but I’ve been havin’ the same gosh darn conversation with her for years,” Jasmine said as she straightened, putting her hands up defensively. “Even this jabber jaw’s gotta give her lips some rest.”

“Speaking of,” Darren said with a wicked grin, “how are things going with you and Gabe?” He laced his fingers together before pushing them out in front of him. “Think I need ta have a talk with that boy. It’s a bit overdue.”

“Don’t you dare,” Jasmine said to her brother, pointing a warning at him. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Sheesh. I’m 24, not 4.”

Lance smiled as he went back to his cool down exercises. He was sure that no matter how old he and his friends got, they would act like little kids when around each other. It was why he had held on to them as tightly as he could. The more stressful things got, the more he tried to find normalcy with them, which wasn’t too hard. He knew they’d always be there for him…and in this case, it was something he was grateful for and something he hated.

“You know Pop would do it,” Darren said, lifting an eyebrow.

Jasmine repeated his words in a high pitched voice. “Doesn’t stop it from being annoyin’,” she muttered. “Besides, you know Gabe, and you know he wasn’ brought up like we were.”

Lance started to loudly breath in and out of his mouth as he continued through his sit ups. As he settled back against the floor, her let out a loud expulsion of air. “If you want my opinion, you’re both, in this moment, driving me up the wall.” Lance sat up and pointed a finger at Darren. “You don’t need to worry about Gabe and you know it.“ Lance then pointed over to Jasmine, “And you can figure out who you do and don’t want to date all on your own, but it does help to have your family like ‘em.”

If only he could sort out his own problems as easily. His family still loved him and wanted him to be happy whether or not he was involved with a guy or a girl, but he knew that things were still new to them. He couldn’t ask for a better family; they chose to learn more about the gay community and had, actually, often asked him if he had found anyone “interesting” yet.

In fact, that was one of the first few questions out of his sister’s mouth when he called her from the hospital. If she could hear his heart monitor speed up at just the thought of Michael through the phone she didn’t let him in on it.

He barely even knew the guy and even the smallest thought of the man made the space behind his belly button ache, and caused him to rewind, pause, and play every instance the artist had been around in his mind, focusing mainly on him asking Michael out on a date. Or something. He still wasn’t sure. He could rewind, play, and play in solo-mo that moment over and over again and he still didn’t have his answer.

It was strange: he knew what being nervous with dating was like. He had gone on plenty of dates with girls, and had fielded many “could you see if so and so likes me” questions from guys and girls alike, but this was different. This was a whole different set of nerves, ones that made him want to throw up and second guess everything he said and thought. If that’s how Jasmine was around Gabe, or Darren and Annaleigh were with each other, he didn’t know how they got rid of the feeling, or accepted, it or denied it, or whatever it was that they did.

“Normally, I’m not the one to be pessimistic, but maybe you should start moving on from Annaleigh,” Lance suggested, folding his hands on his stomach, allowing them to lift and lower with each breath. “Try seeing other people.”

“I’ve suggested that, but he still says he’s going to marry her one day,” Jasmine said as she got to her feet. She reached out a hand and ruffled Lance’s sweaty hair, brushing it off his forehead. “If ya need a runnin’ buddy again, give me a call. I’m gonna take a shower and get some shopping done, then meet Ace and Gabe at the studio then were going out for lunch. We’ll be back later.”

“Mhmm,” Lance hummed as he sat up, draping his arms over his knees. “Thanks, Jazzy.” He rested his cheek on his fist as he stared over at his friend. “You really believe you two are going to get married, don’t you?” He remembered when his friend had first uttered those words to him.

After a long morning at church, they were all itching to beat the summer heat with time at the pond. His parents only allowed him to go if Stacey went to look after them, which she had complained about doing at first. That event they spent catching fireflies in mason jars and Darren whispered those words to him, making Lance promise not to tell anyone else. It was the sole reason he took the time to make fun of Annaleigh day in and day out.

Normally, Lance could see the romantic side to pining for someone for so long, but now he couldn’t see the point. Not in his situation, anyway. Why go through years of pining after someone, hoping for a change in your relationship? Why spend the time and energy getting to know someone and to be with them on more than one level with the big chance that all you’d do is break up? And for him…it was a whole different situation.

He didn’t want to see his friends so miserable.

Darren just gave a half smile. “Can’t imagine being with anyone else,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s as simple as that.”

“How though?” Lance asked, practically throwing his hands into the air. “I don’t get it.”

Darren lifted an eyebrow before he let out a laugh. “You really have it bad for Michael, don’t you?” he asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lance replied, scratching the side of his neck, turning his head away. Despite the air conditioning rolling waves of cool air over his body, causing goosebumps to sprout over his arms and his back, he felt a firey heat climbed up his body starting from his toes to the top of his head. “Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t think I even felt this way about Jake to be honest. I kind of just…fell into things with him. Like, it made sense you know?”

“Proximity,” Darren said with a shrug of his shoulders. “You two had been living together for a while and he helped you learn more about yourself. It’s natural you two would gravitate towards each other.” He settled back against the couch cushions, lifting his feet to set them down on the table, crossing one ankle over the other. “You and Michael?” He let out a low whistle. “That’s something different. Now that you’re out, you don’t have to worry about sneaking around, going in two different entrances and all that. It’ll be normal.”

“Right, like I know anything about ‘normal dating’,” Lance said, using air quotes. He stuck his leg out in front of him, reaching forward to grasp his shoe covered foot. He tucked his other foot into the crook of his leg before stretching forward, stretching the muscles in his back and his leg at the same time. “I mean nowadays, ‘hanging out’ has a different meaning than hanging out.”

“Ha.” Darren let out a single laugh, reaching up a hand to scratch the back of his neck. “I know that’s true.” His smile faded just slightly as a thoughtful look crossed his face.

“What?” Lance asked, shifting his seated position to stretch his other leg.

“Ya helped me realize somethin’,” Darren said, rubbing at his chin.

“What’s that?” Lance asked.

“Ace is scared to be with me,” Darren quietly replied, as if he was talking to himself more than Lance. “Or anyone for that matter.”

Lance let out a single chuckle, his eyebrows shooting up into a look of amusement. “You’re just figuring that one out?” he asked.

“Well, no,” Darren replied, shifting his gaze towards his friend. “But, ya said it yourself, datin’ on the road is very different than dating-dating.” Lance shrugged his shoulders, giving a nod of his head. “Her parents got a divorce, things with Wade didn’ really work out—not to mention they had to sneak around a lot, and then you two—“

“Weren’t really together,” Lance finished in a monotone, “you know that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Darren agreed.

Lance bowed his head, running his hands over his hair before looking up at his friend. “All we really did was make sure we got photographed together and attended events together and stuff like that.” He gave another shrug of his shoulders. “It was a professional thing.”

“So you see my point?” Darren said, dropping his hands onto his knees with a soft clap.

“Not really.” Lance slowly shook his head back and forth.

“Well you should, it also applies to you, too.” Lance made a humming noise in the back of his throat. “I think the reason why you’re making excuses about Michael—“

“I’m not making excuses,” Lance said, interrupting his friend. Not out loud, anyway. Truth be told, in trying to understand whatever was going on, or not going on with Michael, he had come up with a lot of different scenarios as to why things would or wouldn’t work out. For one, he barely knew the guy, but that was what dating and hanging out was for, right? To get to know someone. “Making an excuse is like trying to get out of something and saying you’re going to court because you got caught stealing the cookies from the cookie jar.” Darren gave him a pointed look and Lance put a finger in the air. “I only did that once and mom thought it was so clever I didn’t get in trouble.”

“Who you?” Darren asked with a smirk. “Couldn’t be.”

“Aw, hush.” Lance rolled his eyes as he proceeded to stretch his arms over his chest. Darren chuckled, picking up a couch cushion, throwing it over at his friend. Lance quickly shot out a hand and caught it by the corner before whipping it back at him. “You know what I meant.”

“The point is, both of you are going after people who’s had a lot of experience with dating,” Darren explained. “It’s ok to be nervous or worried about it. Everyone is.”

“Yeah,” Lance quietly agreed, giving a nod of his head. “I know.” Ever since leaving the hospital a couple days prior, he hadn’t talked to Michael let alone seen him apart from the quick and “Um” and “Uh” filled conversations on the phone. “So, you said earlier Annaleigh was driving you crazy? Because she’s still not giving you a shot.”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t matter too much now,” Darren agreed. He ran a hand over his face before cupping his chin in the palm of his hand. “I’ll admit I’ve been selfishly pushing the idea on her.”

“Yeah, but, she’s been selfish about this, too,” Lance pointed out to him. “To be honest.” He got to his feet, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. “It’s obvious you’re really into her and while I do, at times, think you’re crazy for still trying to keep going with her, who am I to tell you who you can and can’t have feelings for?” It was easier for him. He was straight; first, last, and always. Sure, there were a few instances where he didn’t think the girl he was seeing was right for him, but Darren never had to worry about what people thought about his love life. “You want my advice? You said you were going to have her make the first move if that’s what she wants, right?”

“Right,” Darren said with a nod of his head.

“Well, have you told her that?” Lance asked, lifting his eyebrows. “As juvenile as it sounds, one of the ways Wade even got Annaleigh’s attention in the first place was after he stopped showing interest in her. Apart from annoying her, I mean, but even then you’ve got a leg up with that you’ve been doing it for years. Plus, you know how she likes to be in control of stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess that’d be best, especially if we’re goin’ ta be livin’ together,” Darren mused aloud. Lance blinked, his eyebrows knitting together just slightly. Darren put his face in his hand for a moment. “She didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Lance asked.

“Annaleigh’s planning on moving home,” Darren replied. “She said she’d help me out at my school with my kids and I’d give her a place to stay.” He gave a shrug of his shoulders. “She also said it’d be easier for her and Gabe to work on their music if they’re in the same place together.”

“Oh,” Lance said. He didn’t know what else to say. One the one hand, he would be supportive of whatever his friends decided to do, but on the other hand, Annaleigh had been living with him for a while. Hell, she had been around him for so long, he didn’t know what it’d be like to not have her around. And he didn’t really want to think about it either. “How long have you known?”

“A couple of days,” Darren replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “But, I think she’s been thinking about it for a little while now.”

“Oh.” Lance swung his arms down by his sides. “Well, that’s great.” He put a smile to his face. “For the both of you, I guess. I shouldn’t be too surprised about hearing a wedding announcement soon, eh?”

“If only,” Darren replied with a smile as he got to his feet. “I’ll start breakfast.”

“At the risk of giving us food poisoning, I’ll get Ace and see if she’ll make us breakfast,” Lance said with a short laugh. Darren rolled his eyes, letting out a sarcastic laugh of amusement. “But, don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to learn.”

“Aw, hush,” Darren said, repeating Lance’s words from before. Lance grinned before making his way out of the living room.

“Morning,” Annaleigh greeted him with a smile, the case to her bass guitar sitting across her back.

“Hey,” Lance said, pausing in his doorway. “D is making breakfast if you want to jump in.” Annaleigh’s eyes widened before she glanced towards the set of wooden stairs. “Well don’t throw yourself down them to get there in time.”

“I was seriously debating it,” Annaleigh muttered. She peered at him as he made his way into his room. “Are you alright? You look a little pink in the face.”

Lance let out a sigh as he crossed his room to his dresser, pulling open a drawer and reaching for a t-shirt. “Exercising,” he replied shortly. “I’m fine if you were dying to know.”

“Come on, James,” Annaleigh said, stepping into the room. She set her guitar down onto the ground, leaning it up against the doorjamb. “Don’t do that. You know we just care about your health.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lance replied with a sigh. He peeled off his sweaty t-shirt before making his way to his bathroom door, pushing it open with his foot. He balled his shirt up in his hands before throwing it across the room to where it landed in his laundry basket. “But, you don’t have to worry, really.”

Annaleigh snorted. “Because your recent trip to the hospital backs you up, Basshole,” she said, earning a small smile from him despite his growing annoyance.

“I was dehydrated, Anal-leigh” Lance said, putting a hand to his hip, using his other hand to slide his fingers through his hair. “You know how hot it was at that fight.”

“James, I know something is wrong,” Annaleigh said, crossing her arms over her chest, stepping farther into the room. “Are you mad at me or something?” Lance gave her a look of confusion in reply. “Then why won’t you tell me what’s going on? Did I do something to stop you trusting me with whatever’s going on in your life?”

Lance swallowed, taking a deep breath through his nose. His heart panged in his chest, but with a different kind of pain. The pain of sadness and guilt. Those were the same words she had said to him right before he had come out to her.

“When were you going to tell me you were moving back home?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly as he finally spoke. Annaleigh blinked, surprised at the sudden change of topic. She narrowed her eyes just slightly.

“Before ya got yourself put in the hospital,” Annaleigh replied, her jaw setting just slightly. “I was goin’ to tell you, but I didn’t want to put any stress on you or anything.”

“I’m fine,” Lance said, throwing his hands into the air. “My heart is fine.”

“So you say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“When are you goin’ to tell me what’s wrong? I know somethin’s wrong and it’s scarin’ me that you won’t tell me,” Annaleigh asked. Lance brushed past her, making his way to his closet. They were going to keeping going in circles with this conversation and never get to an end. He reached behind the door and grabbed his gym bag from the floor. “You’re my best friend, James. I’m worried. We all are.”

“A friend would tell me they were plannin’ on movin’ out,” he called.

“I couldn’ find a good time to tell ya,” Annaleigh said, her voice getting slightly higher pitched. “It’s no big deal. You wanted me to finally stop being so terrified of everythin’ and to give Darren a chance.” He made a humming noise in the back of his throat as he tossed his bag onto his bed. “I can’t do that here. Plus, Gabe is already livin’ out there and then we can really focus on our music and everythin’.”

“Don’t you like it out here?” Lance asked, looking her in the eye, crossing his arms over his chest

“Of course I do. You know I do,” Annaleigh replied, her shoulders dropping just slightly. Her whole body seemed to slump as if from the weight of his words. “I just don’t get why you kept telling me to give Darren a chance and now that I’m trying you think it’s a bad idea.”

“It’s not that, I was just asking why you were going,” Lance said with a heavy sigh. Then what was it? He was scared of being by himself again? She was always around whenever his relationships went up or down and didn’t know what to do without out her? He needed her more than he realized? He thought he’d be leaving her, not the other way around? None of the above? All of the above? “Ya don’t get it.”

“Then tell me.” Annaleigh twisted her mouth to the side when Lance didn’t answer right away. She let out a huff of air. “You’re not bein’ fair.” For a brief moment as Lance looked over at her, she was the little girl that followed him around everywhere doing what he was doing. She would stomp her foot and pout and say in those same words more in a whine than a statement.

Lane didn’t answer as he moved around the room, packing his gym bag. Shoes, shirt, shorts, socks, he was moving on autopilot, grabbing everything his hands landed on and shoving them into the open space.

Fair. Like it was fair for him to have everyone judge him when they didn’t even know him? Like it was fair for him to be punished for being the way he was? It wasn’t fair at all. She didn’t deserve how he was treating her, no one in his life deserved it, but it was the easiest way out. She had gone through a part of her life where she tried hard to push people away. Why couldn’t he?

“You know what?” Lance asked, briefly stopping in what he was doing. “Just forget it.”

“James—“

“Just go back home, alright? Run away. Do whatever you gosh darn want. It’s what ya do best, anyhow.”

Annaleigh was silent for a long moment, peering over at him. Her lips parted with a small pop and she said quietly, “I’m not runnin’ away this time. I’m finally runnin’ towards somethin’.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Talkin’ ‘bout runnin’, what do you think you’ve been doin’ all these years?”

“Just leave, Ace,” Lance said, roughly zipping his backpack shut. “Seriously. Y’ain’t involved so stay out of it.”

“Fine!” Annaleigh let out a huff before storming out of the room, roughly puling her bass guitar behind her.

“Fine!” Lane shouted back as the door slammed shut. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back towards the ceiling. It was anything but.

Chapter End Notes:

Lance's fighting becomes more prominent with the next chapter. That's been a bit of a long time coming I know, but I've switched around different plot points of this story.

I’m not too fond of how this chapter turned out, but, what are you going to do? Sometimes they just write themselves and turn out however they turn out.

Thanks for all the nominations on this story. I’m glad everyone’s enjoying it so far or at least taking the time out of their day to read what I’ve written (even if, at times, I’m not the biggest fan of what comes out.)



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Story Tags: postsync originalcharacter bestfriendl lance