-16-

Lance gently touched the bright pink area around his eye, sharply sucking in a breath of air as it stung and started to throb with pain. It didn’t hurt as bad as it previously had when he first got home, a good, long shower had taken care of that and the stiffness in his muscles and joints. He had managed to get through his house without much incident from his dad, or his mom as the women got back home.

At least for now.

His mom always knew when he was up to something. Somehow she always knew and even seemed to know that he was up to something when all he had done was thought of it. It was actually kind of scary, but he was glad to know she loved and cared about him enough to want to know what was going on in his life.

A stab of guilt hit his stomach. He knew he should let everyone know about his heart condition, but he just couldn’t tell anyone. He had seen how their faces after he came out, and saw how worried they were after he had been jumped, he didn’t want to be the cause of those faces or those feelings again.

As he shuffled towards Annaleigh’s closed bedroom door, the ends of his jeans dragged along the floor. He grasped the waistband of his jeans, pulling them up to his hip bone where they loosely hung. He was in need of new clothes and maybe would actually allow the girls to go shopping with him.

He had definitely been seeing progress with how often he was working out. He could see more definition in his arms and in his stomach. He hadn’t had any big…”hiccups” lately. The exercise from the fighting was definitely helping with his overall health and to get out his frustrations.

At least, that’s what he told himself over and over again.

He lifted his hand and rapped his knuckles on the door. Once he heard Annaleigh give him permission to enter, he twisted the door knob and pushed open the door, allowing himself inside. “Hey,” he greeted his friend, dropping down onto the mattress. Annaleigh pulled her feet back from being crushed, setting her laptop aside. “What are you doing?”

“Listening to song samples,” Annaleigh replied as she set her computer aside. She looked at him over the top of her computer. “Need me for somethin?”

“Just wanted to talk,” Lance replied.

His stomach tightened just slightly at the thought of having this conversation with her. He had rehearsed it so many times in his head already, but that never seemed to work. He may know who he’s talking to well enough, but that doesn’t mean they’d actually react in a way he’d expect. And to basically kick your best friend out of your house…who knew how well that’d go over?

“You all have a good day out?”

“Yeah, it was fun,” Annaleigh replied, brushing her hair back behind her ears, sitting up, giving him her full attention. “Jazzy, Miss Diane, and I went to lunch at the Hard Rock Café and then got our nails done.” She pointed her feet and Lance caught sight of a forest green covering her nails. “And talked.”

“Good thing too,” Lance commented, grabbing her foot, “your feet were starting to look pretty gnarly.” He lightly ran his fingertip across her heel and Annaleigh let out a shrieking laugh as she tried to pull her foot back, practically kneeing herself in the chest.

“Looks who’s talkin’,” Annaleigh replied, dryly as Lance let her go. “I told ya to use those shoes when sparrin’.” Lance twisted his mouth to the side, shrugging. “You wanted to talked to me ‘bout something?”

“Yeahhh,” Lance said, holding out the word. He rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm as he propped his head up with his hand. “I think…that you should go home. To Clinton.” Annaleigh blinked. Lance stared back at her, silence stretching between them before he launched into his explanation. “This isn’t really just coming out of nowhere; I’ve been thinking about it for a while. For a few years, actually.”

“Ok,” Annaleigh replied, her eyebrows knitting together just slightly.

Oh, Lord, help me out here. Lance let out a sigh through his nose. “I know that music is a great passion of yours and everything and you are incredibly talented with it,” he explained, watching her reaction closely, “but I don’t think you’ve ever truly  been 100% happy out here. And ever since, well NSYNC really started, I’ve never lived by myself or really learned who I am as a person. I mean, after NSYNC stopped you and I stayed out here, and went back and forth from here to home, and then I was involved with Jake, and—“

“And now you’ve met Miiichael,” Annaleigh said with a bright smile.

“Ok, that wasn’t the point I was trying to make,” Lance said, rolling his eyes at Annaleigh’s expression.

“He’s cute, at least admit that.” Annaleigh wiggled her eyebrows. “And he’s nice, and sweet, and he gets on your nerves jus’ like Darren does to me.” She curled her fingers and inspected her fingernails. “If that’s not hintin’ at something…I’m just saying.”

“Not everyone has a relationship like you two,” Lance said protested.

“Aha! So there is a relationship.” Annaleigh clapped her hands together, before folding them in her lap. “You and Michael are cute together. When are you going to take him to that art show?” Lance scrunched up his face, feeling his face burn.

“Some time when you’re gone so I don’t have Jazzy 2.0 asking me so many questions,” Lance replied  and Annaleigh wrinkled her nose as she stuck her tongue out at him. “So, what do you think? About what I said?”

Annaleigh’s shoulder’s dropped just slightly. “James,” she said quietly, “I was kind of thinking the same thing.” Lance blinked, taken aback. “After our fight earlier, I was kinda startin’ to realize that we’ve been together a lot.”

“Anna—“

“Not that it’s a bad thing,” Annaleigh said, putting her hands up defensively. “You’re my best friend, why wouldn’ I want to spend time with ya? But, I think we’ve both been relyin’ on each other after the band’s hiatus started.”

“The band is over, Annaleigh,” Lance said, slowly blinking.

“I don’ accept that,” Annaleigh said stubbornly, shaking her head back and forth. “But you’re right; ever since I joined NSYNC, we did everything together. I love making music, and you know performing was my favorite thing about being in the band. But I didn’t like how…gimmicky the industry itself is.”

“Yeah,” Lance agreed, nodding his head.

He remembered how uncomfortable Annaleigh was her first month of being part of the band and being thrown into different awards shows, meeting big names in the business, and performing on different shows like Rosie O’Donnell, Good Morning America, and The View. She was always the type to push her feelings and worries aside to help others, often ignoring how she feels about situations for way too long.

Like now. She wanted to make sure he was ok, and JC, and Justin, and Chris, and Joey, and kept putting her own plans on hold to a certain degree.

“I think I should go home, too,” Annaleigh replied, pulling her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. She set her chin on her knees. “Your mom and dad, and Darren, and Jasmine, and Gabe are going home soon, so I figured I’d just go with them. Try things out with Darren.”

“Shoot, please do!” Lance said, rolling onto his back. “I swear, y’all have been married through common-law by now.” He waved a hand in the air. “Or however that works. Except for the being together part.” Lance’s breath was pushed out of his lungs when Annaleigh hit him in the stomach with a pillow. He grabbed the pillow from her hands and hit her back. “You know he really cares about you.”

“Yeah, I know it,” Annaleigh replied with a smile. She was silent for a moment before flinging her head to the side, knocking her hair out of her face. “I care ‘bout you, too. So, I want to apologize to you.”

“For what?”Lance asked.

“How I acted when you first told me y’were gay,” Annaleigh replied. Lane let out a sigh through his nose, running a hand over his face. His heart thumped hard, twice. He swallowed thickly.

“You already apologized four times,” Lance pointed out to her. “It’s ok. I promise it is.” It was ok. He knew why she acted the way she did, but those words…he forgave her for it, but it still hurt to know someone he cared about could say those things to him.

“Let me just say it one more time,” Annaleigh replied. “Please?” Lance nodded his head. “I only said what I said, all those hurtful things…and I know this is no excuse, but only because I was worried about you.” Lance felt his eyebrows knitting towards each other. “I didn’ know if it meant you’d be different than the Lance I’ve always known.”

“While on tour, I’ve seen how some of the younger roadies and crew members were treated for being gay and I was worried that people would treat you the same way. No one would see you the way I saw you and I was, I don’t know, just trying to…I didn’t want to believe that people could treat you that way. So I just didn’t want to acknowledge it and refused to accept it at the time. But, I got a head start on all of ‘em, huh?”

“Annaleigh,” Lance said, shaking his head back and forth. “I don’t care. Not anymore. I mean, I did, and it sucked, but I knew when I told you I was going to get one of two responses from you. On the one hand, I was glad I had someone to trust and someone to tell. But on the other hand, it sucked.” His lips twitched into a fleeting smile. “At the same time, I knew you were saying it because you cared and because you were scared, and because you were just as confused as I was. So, I never really blamed you for it.”

Annaleigh gave a sad smile, tears sliding down her cheeks one right after another. Her nose was a bright red and she lifted her hands, using the heels of her palms to wipe at her eyes. She then opened her arms, silently asking him for a hug. She made a grabbing-motion with her fingers and Lance laughed before moving to sit by her side, pulling her to him in a hug. He kissed the top of her head.

“I’m going to miss having you around, you know,” Lance said into her hair.

“Just make sure you  actually have my room painted when I come back for a visit, Mik Mouse,” Annaleigh replied, prodding him in the side.

Lance chuckled. “Sure thing, Puto.” He gently squeezed her. “Now, go get your man.”

Annaleigh laughed before sitting up, getting a good look at his face. She gently reached out a hand and lightly touched the pink area around his eye. “You could find yours at the gym if ya don’ kill yourself first,” she commented. Lance squeezed an eye shut as the dull throbbing ache appeared once again. “Y’know, if things don’t work out with Michael.”

Lance clicked his tongue. “Would you stop?” he asked, suddenly feeling annoyed. At the same time, a smile sprouted on his face.

Annaleigh removed herself from Lance’s hug before grasping his hands in hers, gently squeezing them. “Father God, we ask our Lord Jesus that you be with James and myself and we ask that you be with us to comfort us in our time of need, and to be with us to give us strength through all the challenges we will face,” she said. She gave him a sweet smile as she tilted her head to the side. Lance steeled himself for the insult-wrapped in sweetness that was to come. “And also show Lance mercy so I don’t kill him for that comment.”

“Amen,” Lance agreed with a laugh. “But, you are.”

“I am not like Jazzy,” Annaleigh insisted, pointing a finger at her.

“Speakin’ of little ‘ole me,” Jasmine said as she leaned in the doorway, “I have a message. Annaleigh, Michael’s at the door for you.” Lance twisted his mouth to the side, eyes narrowing just slightly. “Relax, sweetie, I didn’ say he was here for you.”

“Yeah, but he kind of is,” Annaleigh said, rolling off of her mattress and to the floor.

“What?” Lance asked, his voice jumping up to a higher octave. “Annaleigh!” Lance let out a huff of air as he got off of her bed, following her and Jasmine out of her room, down the stairs, stopping to sit on the last step, looking into the foyer. Jasmine hurried into the living room before returning with Gabriel, Darren, and Lance’s parents.

“Hi,” Michael greeted with a lift of a hand in greeting. “Everyone.” As well as he could lift it around the plastic wrapped…thing he was holding in his arms. “Nice to see you all.”

“You’re done?” Annaleigh asked as she gave Michael a one-armed hug.

“Yes, I’m done,” Michael replied, giving her a smile as he handed it over to her. Lance chuckled as he took in the view of a pair of jean clad legs holding up what he could guess was a canvas. “I hope you like it.”

“What’s going on?” Lance asked, his eyebrows lifting.

“Well, you kinda beat me to the movin’ out talk,” Annaleigh said as she shuffled forward, holding the canvas out towards him. “But, I asked Michael to make this for me, for you, as a going away gift.”

Lance balanced the canvas on his lap before punching a whole through the plastic with his thumb. It stretched as he pulled the plastic apart, widening the hole. A marble-swirl background in many different shades of green was the first thing that caught his eye before he revealed the top half of the painting and started to laugh.

“Aw, man,” he said with a wide smile, removing the plastic in its entirety from the picture. He ran his hand over the baby Pluto and Mickey Mouse staring back at him, smiling happily. “You painted this?”

“If that’s what my signature on the back means,” Michael replied, with a half smile.

“Oh, your modest and talented,” Lance commented, looking up at the artist, who just shrugged his shoulders in reply. Lance turned the painting around to show everybody else in the foyer and got a collective “Awww” in response. “Thanks, Anna.”

“You’re welcome,” Annaleigh replied, placing her hand on Michael’s arm. “But, thank Michael, he’s the one who did it on such short notice.”

Michael scratched the back of his neck, his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink. “Don’t mention it,” he replied before running his fingers through his hair. “It was one of my favorites to do. And it was for a great person, so…”

Lance let out an odd combination of a nervous laugh, a cough, and a hiccup, bowing his head, feeling his face start to burn. “Would you like to stay for dinner, Michael?” Diane asked, wrapping an arm around her husband. “There’s plenty to go around.”

Michael smiled, shifting his gaze to Lance’s direction. “Sure,” he managed to get out, trying to talk as normally as he could. His throat had suddenly seemed to close up on itself, making that simple task difficult. “You already came out this far.”

“I’d love to,” Michael replied. “Is there anything I could do to help?”

“Oh, no, dear, that’s alright,” Diane replied with a warm smile. “Annaleigh and Jasmine will help me.”

“We will?” Jasmine asked and Annaleigh elbowed her in the side. “But, this is getting good.” Annaleigh elbowed her a second time before looping her arm through her friend’s, pulling her out of the foyer.

Lance chuckled as he set the painting down as Darren and Gabriel started asking Michael about his art. He watched as Michael slid his hands into his jeans pockets, looking as relaxed as he had ever seen. An ache formed in the center of his stomach. And maybe even as good looking, too. Maybe Jasmine’s right. Maybe it is just getting good.