-18-

Thunderstruck
(aka “Are You Happy?”)

24 Hour Fitness
Los Angeles, California

Lance spends more time with Michael, trusts him with the secret that he wanted to try conversion therapy. Darren and Annaleigh go to a bar and talk about their relationship.

-

“I don’t know how you even talked me into this,” Michael commented, rubbing at the bright red, sore spot alongside his ribs with his hand.

“I told you I was going to work out,” Lance said with a shrug of his shoulders. He was actually pleasantly surprised by the phone call from Michael that morning. He hadn’t expected it, and it seemed to come out of the blue. Even he didn’t seem to know what to say as one of the first things out of his mouth was, “So…um…what do you have planned today?”

“Yeah, and I thought you meant it, not try and beat me up,” Michael protested. Lance laughed, sliding out of his sparring stance. Michael then took the time to lift his leg and in one fluid motion, raise his knee, twist just slightly on the ball of his stationary foot and kicked him.

Lance grunted as Michael’s foot connected with his stomach. Doubling over, Lance stumbled backwards just slight, wrapping an arm around his stomach. He used his other hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead and nose with his wrapped hand.

“You know,” Michael commented from the other end of the ring, leaning back against the ropes, “I thought you’d be better at this.”

Lance let out a short laugh before setting his hands on his hips. “Maybe I’m just taking it easy on you,” he replied. Michael lifted an eyebrow, letting out a short laugh of disbelief. “What?”

“You performed in one of the most famous boy bands and music groups in the world,” Michael replied. Lance didn’t know whether to be annoyed by the cocky look on his face or be attracted to it. His body had made its decision for him before he could even take the time to think about it, and it quickly decided that he was attracted to it.

Whether the sheen of sweat that coated his body was due to the sudden rush of heat from a strong blush, from being nervous of being that close to a man this good looking, or from the physical exertion of showing him what he’s learned. Wrapping all of that up into a neat box with an even neater bow wasn’t his forte.

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance said, waving his hand in the air. “For all I know, you have a model shoot or art show or something. Wouldn’t want to mess up that face now would I?”

Michael’s eyebrow ticked upwards just slightly as a smirk crossed his face. “Didn’t realize you cared that much,” he commented. He stood up straight and adjusted the wrapping around his hand. He looked up at Lance. “You still need to take me to an art show. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that.”

“I might have something planned,” Lance replied, using his arm to brush his hair off his forehead. “You free on Saturday?”

Michael rubbed a hand along his jaw. “I have a painting I need to finish, but it won’t take the whole day,” he replied, sniffing. “At least, I’m hoping.”

“I’ll pick you up at 7 then,” Lance replied.

“Oh, come on!” Lance pressed his lips together, turning his head in the direction of the loud groan of annoyance. “Are you two ladies done or are you going to continue dancing around the ring?” The man adjusted the strap to his bag on his large, beefy shoulder. “Some of us actually want to work out.”

Ok, then. Lance pressed his tongue against the inside of his bottom lip. “Tell you what,” he commented, shifting his gaze in Michael’s direction for a brief moment, “if you beat me, we’ll let you have the ring.”

“Lance,” Michael said quietly.

“You sure you want to do that?” the man asked, lifting his eyebrows, a smile of amusement coming to his face. His lips parted into a small grin. “How long’ve you been training for?”

“Long enough,” Lance replied. He lifted his right boot covered foot and scratched the back of his left leg. He crossed to the side of the ring, grasping the ropes, leaning over them. “You in or not?”

“Alright,” the man replied with a nod, offering him his hand. “Hank.”

“Lance,” Lance replied, shaking the man’s hand. He nodded his hed in Michaels’ direction. “That’s…” He paused. Were they even friends? Acquaintances? He looked over at Michael, silently asking him for help.

“I’m Michael,” he said, introducing himself. “Lance’s friend.”

A bubble of excitement burst in his chest, and at the same time, he was a tad bit disappointed. Truth be told, he couldn’t decipher their relationship. Since meeting and over the past few weeks, he has been making his way into his circle of friends more than he thought he would to begin with. After everyone else heading back to Mississippi and him living by himself for the first time in a long while, it was nice to have someone around to hang out with from time to time and to take the time to get to know.

He just never stopped to take the time to define their relationship.

Hank’s gaze shifted back and forth between the two men. “Ok,” he replied, his lips twitching just slightly. “Nice to meet you two. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Sure.” Lance gave a nod of his head, clapping his hands together.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Michael asked quietly, stepping up to Lance’s side. His hot breath tickled Lance’s ear and he tightened his grip on the ropes. He was sure the minute he let go, his legs would turn to jelly.

“Yeah , why?” he asked.

“Just wondering,” Michael replied before carefully climbing out of the ring. He pulled off his boots and started to unwrap his hands, his lips forming a line.

Lance shook out his arms and legs, bouncing from foot to foot and throwing a few air punches as he waited for Hank to join him. He smiled to himself. He had fought and practiced long enough all right. Rick had set up a couple more fights for him and he’d been doing a pretty good job if he could say so for himself. In fact, he’d had a few people specifically ask to fight against him.

“Ok, let’s get this started,” Hank said as he stepped through the ropes. He held his fists out towards Lance and he bumped them with his own. “Good luck.”

“You too,” Lance replied with a nod of his head.

“Go whenever you’re ready,” Michael said, waving his hand in the air.

Hank instantly jumped forward, aiming a punch at Lance’s face. Lance swung his left arm outwards, blocking the punch before countering with an offensive move on his own. Hank knew what he was doing, that was for sure. He was proving to be a pretty good fighter, but Lance was doing his best to hold his own. A sharp elbow jab into his chest robbed him of his breath…and left a dull pain radiating through his body. He placed a hand over his chest, the other hand grasping his knee as he tried to catch his breath.

Not again. His heart pounded, trying to regulate itself. Not now.

“Hey, man,” Hank said, concern tingeing his tone. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Lance said, rapidly nodding his head. He straightened, planting his hands on his hips, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m good. Fine.”

“You sure?” he asked, clapping Lance on the back. “Because you’re looking a little pale.”

“I said I’m fine!” Lance snapped, pushing his hand away.

“Lance,” Michael said, an edge to his tone.

“Just…take the stupid ring,” Lance muttered, waving his hand in the air. He slowly sucked in a breath of air through his nose before forcing out a hard cough. His eyes watered, but the pain in his chest quickly subsided. “Good fight.”

“You too, man,” Hank replied still looking unsure.

Lance climbed out of the ring and reached for his gym bag. After stripping his hands and feet of his fight equipment, he quickly took a shower and met up with Michael and left the gym. Neither of them said much of anything, but Lance could feel the tension between the two of them. At a red light, Lance tapped his thumb over the top of the steering wheel, chewing on the nail of his other thumb.

Until he couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“What?” he asked, swinging his head to look over at Michael.

“Are you happy?” Michael asked after a moment of silence. He kept his gaze out the window. “With yourself I mean. Everything.”

Lance reached for the water bottle that sat in his cup holder. Keeping his foot firmly planted on the brake pedal, he twisted off the cap to the plastic bottle. He lifted his water bottle to his mouth, taking long slow sips as he thought it over. He didn’t have Jake around, he hasn’t had heart problems in a while, his friends were finally together, his sister was still happily married, his parents were doing well, and he was maybe-possibly going out on a date this weekend. Nothing to complain about.

“Yes,” Lance replied, with a nod of his head. His breath came out in quick soft gasps as he lifted his arm and wiped the liquid off of his upper lip. “I am.” He reapplied the cap and put the bottle back in the cup holder as the light turned green.

“And beating people up makes you happy?” Michael pressed.

“He started it,” Lance protested.

Michael let out a laugh of disbelief and annoyance burned in Lance’s chest. Ok, yes, what he said was childish, but it was the truth. If he hadn’t given the ladies comment, he wouldn’t have had the urge to knock the guy around. “Whatever you say.” He put his hands up in the air.

“What?”

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m just wondering,” he said after a moment of silence, “…I mean first the guy at that fight and now him?” Lance gave him a confused look, shrugging his shoulders. “I think you’re projecting your anger of what people have said about you through your fighting.”

Lance opened and closed his mouth. He wasn’t wrong. Sure, he had so much support thrown his way and he loved and appreciated everybody for it. He was the happiest he had been in the longest time now that he was out, he couldn’t deny that. He also couldn’t ignore all the negativity either. Anyone could only ignore the negativity for so long until it was something they couldn’t get out of their mind.

All the times he had to hide how…disgusted and angry he felt with himself about what others said, he could finally get rid of his anger in some way. He could finally fight back against whatever it was that people wanted to say about him. He could finally not be seen as “Half-Pint” but as someone who wasn’t just going to be pushed around by everyone and anyone.

Or maybe you’re fighting yourself. Lance wondered when “that little voice” would be able to get a say in anything. He was doing a pretty good job at keeping it at bay. Maybe you just want to get rid of everyone that talks the way you still think. Lance gave a sharp shake of his head, feeling himself frown. Nice try.

“You know there are groups and organizations that can help you address that anger,” Michael explained to him. “LGBT, or LGBTQ—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer; or the ‘Q’ can stand for questioning. The community has really helped me out since moving out here. I think it could help you too, if you’re interested.”

Lance twisted his mouth to the side.

“Maybe I could come over?” Michael pressed. “Bring you some information so you can see for yourself?’

Lance looked over at him, feeling his lips turn up into a smile. He couldn’t help it, he was just too cute to look at. “Maybe,” he replied, hearing the flirty lift to his tone.

“Maybe,” Michael repeated, smiling as well. He gently hit Lance on his knee with the back of his hand and Lance suddenly felt like he was struck by lightning. A jolt shot through his body and all the hair on his body stood straight up. Michael was silent for a moment, bowing his head, his gaze shifting to his lap. “Can I just ask you something?”

“Sure,” Lance replied.

“No more fights like that, ok?” Michael asked. “I mean, sparring, sure, but…it looked like you really wanted to rip that guy’s head off.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I’m more of a lover than a fighter; ‘make love, not war’, kind of person.”

Lance pressed his lips together, feeling another wave of a hot blush sliding over his body. “Deal,” Lance replied. What was a friendship without a few secrets here or there? What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. When was the last time he thought like that? He didn’t have to think too much about it; it was on a constant loop in his head—amongst other things—when he was still ‘in the closet.’

It’s funny how your thoughts don’t ever really change as you grow and get older, they just get applied to something else.

“So how’d you get into this?”

“Hmm?”

“This fighting thing.”

Lance was silent for a moment. “Are you in a rush to get anywhere right now?” he asked.

“No, why,” Michael replied.

Lance glanced over his shoulder, watching the flow of traffic before merging in. “It’s kind of a long story,” he replied.

“I’ve got time,” Michael insisted.

“Good.” Lance’s lips lifted into a small smile as he followed the flow of traffic until he was on the highway. Normally, being stuck on this infamous stretch of road with bumper to bumper traffic would make him want to rip out of his hair. But, now, he’d gladly enjoy this company for as long as possible. Pressing on the breaks just slightly to slow down his car, he started to slowly crawl forward in time with the cars around him. “I guess you could say it started way back when I joined this group called Attaché.”

Whiskey Kitchen
Clinton, Mississippi

“Do you not want to be here? I mean, we didn’t have to come to a bar.” Annaleigh lifted her napkin to her mouth and wiped the grease from her chili cheese fries.

“No, it’ fine,” Darren replied, matching her decibel to attempt to talk over the loud music and conversations. He gave a small laugh as he dunked a fry in ketchup before popping it into his mouth. “We decided to come here, remember?”

“Well, you haven’t said much and you won’t stop staring at me,” Annaleigh replied with a small laugh, shifting in her seat. She couldn’t remember the last time a bar stool had a back to it. Maybe to stop all the drunkards from falling all over themselves. Not that they needed much help with that. “So, I figured…”

“I’m glad you decided to go out with me,” Darren said. He then relaxed into a half smile. “And I can’t help but stare.”

This was it; their big first date. Despite living together, there was some tension and excitement between the two of them as they had prepared for the night. Actually she had basically holed herself up in the bathroom with Jasmine as he took the last ten minutes to get ready. He insisted it was more than that, but she knew guys after living with five of them for two years.

“Oh,” Annaleigh replied quietly.

“I was thinking about something, though,” Darren commented and Annaleigh gave him a curious look. He gave her a teasing smile. “Don’t know what kind of boyfriend I’ll be knowing that you can take care of yourself.”

“I’m just glad you trust me enough to confide in me,” Darren replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “No big deal.”

“It is to me,” Annaleigh replied with a nod, “so thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Darren replied.

“You know, I’ve been trying to figure something out about you, but I think I already know the answer to it,” Annaleigh commented. Darren lifted his shoulders as he slid a few French fries into his mouth. “How’ve you gone this long without a ring on your finger?”

“Couldn’t find anyone that held a candle to ya,” Darren replied, his nose wrinkling just slightly.

“Well, that’s not really fair for you, is it?” Annaleigh asked, tilting her head to the side. “I mean I kept you waiting this long…“

“Waited since I was near thirteen, actually,” Darren replied with an embarrassed laugh. “I always knew you were worth it and for some things you just have to hold onto hope, y’know?” Annaleigh felt the corners of her lips lifting into a smile. “I know what people said, but I figured until I got a clear indication from you that absolutely nothing would happen, I said a part of me would wait.”

“Part of you?” Annaleigh repeated, her eyebrows lifting.

Darren nodded. “Had a girlfriend for a little while,” he replied. “Might’ve gotten engaged, too, if she didn’t move for her job. She didn’t want to try a long distance thing.”

“I’m sorry.” Annaleigh lifted half of her hamburger to her lips, taking a large bite.

Hot juice from her burger dribbled down her chin along with the spicy sauce on it. As the taste of onion burned her tongue just slightly, she regretted having ordered onion rings with her burger. Onion rings and mashed potatoes were her comfort foods and it was hard to part with it. But with how well things were going, she hoped that she had a tic-tac or two in her purse.

“I’m not,” Darren replied with a shake of his head. “She was upfront and honest with me about it, and I knew how important her job was to her.” She knew how important his job was to him, too. Watching him with the chorus kids was attractive to her; like watching dads with their little kids. “Anyway, I’ve had a few dates here and there. You know that.”

“How is Lauren by the way?” Annaleigh asked.

“She’s fine,” Darren replied.

“That’s all I’m going to get?” Annaleigh rolled her eyes as Darren shrugged, nodding his head. “Men. So how long were you and this, almost engaged girl, together?”

“On and off for about three years,” Darren replied.

Annaleigh felt her eyes widen. “I would’ve gotten engaged by at least two years I think,” she commented before giving an over the top smile. “Then again, at that point, I think I’d go looking for my own engagement ring. Jewelry starts to have a lot of meaning after a year.”

“So Jasmine told me,” Darren replied, dryly. He was silent for a long moment. “So, say everything with Wade was going well…d’you think you’d want to marry him?”

Annaleigh pressed her lips together for a moment as she thought about it. She hadn’t really given it much thought beforehand. Wade was, despite everything, a good friend. He understood the struggles and hardships of being in the business. Maybe if she was still fully in it, she’d consider it. She’d want to marry someone that would understand her lifestyle and just her in her entirety. And Hollywood couples never really stayed together that long; five years together was like 10 years to the “outside world”. She didn’t think she’d want her love life to be televised that much.

They had a lot of fun together, even if a lot of the time their relationship had to be in secret. She was always one to stick to the rules as closely as possible. Try as she might, she should’ve known that the “no romantic entanglements” rule that Johnny had set up in her contract wasn’t going to be easy to follow. Purity ring or not she had urges and needs which got harder to ignore the longer she was in a testosterone filled house.

Not that it hasn’t been the talk of the town since the football game. She’s constantly had people coming up to her talking to her about Darren or the kiss. If she had to hear “I saw a kiss that would melt the Arctic” or, “I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time,” or something like that in her denial of it being a big deal, she was going to lose it. Even some of the elder folk in town would comment on how they knew something would eventually happen, or how cute the two of them were together, or “how it reminds me of us at your age” motioning to her husband. And she thought being the talk of the town amidst her parents’ marriage troubles was bad.

“I don’t think so,” she replied. “Being around him that long, I could see why he and Justin were such good friends. I think it’d be like marrying Justin; I’d be marrying a big kid.”

“And you want someone more mature?” Darren asked, speaking in the most snobby manner he could muster.

“Don’t we all,” Annaleigh agreed with a laugh. “Nah, you’ll do fine in a pinch, I suppose.”

“Well, thanks,” Darren said, exaggerating his eye roll. “You don’ say somethin’ like that to a southern boy. Hurts our ego.” He locked his gaze with hers and the two of them shared a laugh. “Besides, not just anybody’s suitable for my Grandma’s ring.”

“But I am?” Annaleigh asked.

“I like t’think so,” Darren replied with a nod of his head. “So, really, why did you want to come back here? To Mississippi?”

“You know me, I could never sit still,” Annaleigh replied with a shrug. “And I like to finish what I start; you know how stubborn I can be. My life started here so why not finish it here, too?” She bowed her head for a moment, suddenly shy. “And a certain guy was here too, one I wanted to finally give a shot.”

“And you always told me you’d never let a stupid boy dictate your life,” Darren commented, slowly shaking his head from side to side.  

“Well maybe I don’ think you’re stupid,” Annaleigh replied.

“Ha!” Darren gave her a look of disbelief. “How many times has the word ‘stupid’ come out of your mouth when referring to me?”

“Pssh, that was me flirting,” Annaleigh protested. “Pathetically, I might add.” She took another sip of beer, the fruity taste sliding over her tongue before she swallowed. “I promised dad I’d come back, too,” Annaleigh added, “and you know I don’ break a promise to my daddy.” She thought for a moment. “I don’t like breaking a lot of promises actually. Seem to remember makin’ a promise to you to try and visit more.”

“I just felt like you’re always tryin’ to run away from something, that’s all,” Darren replied, putting his hands up defensively. “I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do with your life or anything—“

“Rather have someone tell me than not know what to do myself,” Annaleigh replied with a sigh. “Because you’re right.”

“Boy, you hate sayin’ that don’t you?” Darren asked with a laugh.

 Annaleigh lifted her hand and held her index finger and pinky a little bit apart. “Just a tad bit,” she admitted. “I’ve just always hated bein’ wrong.” She gave a short laugh. “Been wrong about how I handled a lot of things in my life, though.”

“That’s ok, everyone does at one point or another,” Darren replied, waving his hand in the air. Annaleigh nodded and the two of them continued to eat, finishing their meals between topic changes in their conversation.

“Well, hey,” Darren commented as he wiped his fingers free of ketchup on his napkin, “we’ve gone two hours without calling each other names.” He grinned. “If that’s not an indication that things are going to go well with us—being together, I don’t know what is.”

“Night’s not over yet, Chippendale,” Annaleigh replied with a smirk. Darren shifted his gaze towards the ceiling, albeit smiling.

“Come on,” Darren laughed. “It’s a date. You’re not going to give me one day?”

“And people in hell want ice water, but they ain’t gettin’ that either,” Annaleigh replied with a laugh.

“So on that note, Annie,” Darren said, putting as much emphasis on her name as possible, “you want to head over to Honky Tonk? It’s two-step Tuesday.” He reached for his wallet, tilting his head to the side to signal one of the waiters over.

“I haven’t two stepped or line danced in a long time,” Annaleigh commented with a sigh. “Sure, why not? A girl likes to be swept off her feet every now and then.”