-07-

Jackson, Mississippi

Annaleigh let out a sigh as she stepped out of the shower, pushing back the shower curtain, reaching for the towel that sat on the closed toilet lid. She flapped out the towel and wrapped it around her body, goosebumps popping up on her arms and legs. Securing the towel with a little knot sitting at the side of her breasts, she reached back into the shower to turn off the water before stepping over to the sink, reaching for her tooth brush.

“Yeah?” she called when she heard a knock on the bathroom door. As she reached for the tube of toothpaste, the bathroom door swung open and Darren leaned in the doorway. “What?” She squirted a pea sized amount onto her tooth brush before turning on the water, wetting the paste and bristles before starting to brush her teeth.

“Jus’ checkin’ to make sure you didn’ drown yourself while you were in there,” Darren replied around a yawn, running his hand over his face.

“Or you were tryin’ ta sneak a peek,” Annaleigh replied with a hike of an eyebrow.

“Not like it’s anythin’ I haven’ seen before,” Darren replied, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom.

“There’s jus more of it,” Annaleigh replied, pulling her toothbrush out of her mouth. She lifted her free hand and raked her fingers through her wet, stringy hair.

“So you say,” Darren muttered.

Annaleigh stopped what she was doing, putting a hand on her towel clad hip, dropping her gaze slightly before looking back up at him, her lips curling up into a smirk. “I could say the same for you, Chippendale,” she commented before going back to brushing her teeth. She spat a glob of white saliva mixed toothpaste into the sink. “Did I take too long?”

“Naw, ya gave me five extra minutes of sleep, and I’d take every one of them that I could get,” Darren replied, using the heel of his palm to rub at his eyes. He sniffed as he blinked open his eyes. “Not that I don’ want the company as my bachelor pad—“

“Apartment,” Annaleigh said, interrupting him. “I’m the only filly you’ve ever brought back here.” She winked in his direction, laughing around her toothbrush. “An’ that still hasn’ worked out for ya. If you know what I mean.” Darren just rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

“But, why didn’ you head home as soon as you got in ta town?” Darren asked.

“Why is tha sky blue? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? How many verses does it take for Michael to row his damn boat ashore?” Annaleigh replied, scrunching her eyebrows together, white foam lining her mouth. “If we’re all done askin’ stupid questions, I can go change.”

“Lance is fine,” Darren said, moving to the side, allowing her to step into his apartment.

“I know it,” Annaleigh replied, making her way over to the bag. She made a clicking sound with her tongue. “Shoot, it was jus’ easier ta crash here if I’m helpin’ ya down at school.” She unzipped her small suitcase, clutching the towel around her chest as she crouched down to do so. “Nothin’ big. Besides, I talked ta dad last night. I’m stayin’ over there to spend time with him and Gabe before headin’ back to California. Sue me for wantin’ ta spend some time with ya before headin’ back.”

“You’ve been avoidin’ goin’ home,” Darren said to her as more of a statement than a question. Annaleigh let out a short laugh, grabbing some of her clothes and a wide toothed comb.

“If I was avoidin’ goin’ home, I wouldn’ be back in Mississippi to begin with,” Annaleigh replied, grabbing a handful of clothes, turning back to look at him. “You know I love it here, Darren.” She held her clothes to her chest as she turned to face him, feeling her face heat up at her choice of words. ”In Mississippi. It’s just that mom’s comin’ down ta visit, too. I jus’ don’ love the idea of them bein’ in the same room together.” Darren winced, making a face. “Yeah, see? An’ that’s even if she actually comes. They get along fine as long as they’re not in the same vicinity of each other.”

“It might be a good thing,” Darren suggested, scratching the back of his neck, blinking his eyes, looking more awake. “You never know.” Annaleigh snorted. “Nevertheless, you’re welcome to crash here anytime you need it. I’m sure the couch will start to feel comfortable eventually.” He gave her a lopsided smile and she chuckled.

“You’re jus’ sayin’ that so it won’t be so weird for you to not have any fillies to bring back to you—achem—‘bachelor pad’ like your friends,” Annaleigh replied, patting his chest as she stepped past him, kicking the bathroom door shut behind her hearing him mutter a “Whatever you say” before the door fully closed.

“Just hurry up before I’m late for rehearsal,” Darren called, rapping on the door.

“I’m hurryin’, I’m hurryin’,” Annaleigh replied, quickly changing out of the towel and into her clothes.

She grabbed her comb and started running it through her hair, untangling the knotted strands of hair when a glint of light caught her eye. She slowly lowered her comb as she dropped her gaze to the purity ring sitting on the side of the sink. She glanced at it for a moment before grabbing the chain, lifting it up above her head, sliding it around her neck.

She set the ring down into the palm of her hand and closed her fist around it, looking up at her reflection in the mirror. Dear Lord, please keep me strong through this visit with my parents. Please help me find my way through the day, and keep my friends and family safe with whatever they plan for today. She let out a sigh through her nose before glancing over at the closed bathroom door. She tucked her ring underneath her shirt and packed up her stuff. Please help me release the past and find the love my parents once shared for one another .Please give me the strength to allow myself to love. Please give me the strength to be as open and brave as I used to be. Amen.

 She opened the bathroom door and made her way back over to her suitcase to put up her things. “It’s about time,” Darren called as he brushed past her, making his way inside.

“Ha, the minute you get a girl, you have ta deal with it all the time,” Annaleigh called back to him, noticing that the door was partially open. “Speakin’ of, how was your date with Lauren?”

“I wouldn’ call it a date,” Darren called back as the sound of running water started. “My mom ran into her mom at the store and it’s been a while since she’s been back in town so I showed her around, that’s all.”

“You mean your mom suggested you show her around,” Annaleigh replied, moving around the living room, looking for her shoes. She looked under the couch and the chairs. “Did y’all have a good time?”

“Yeah, she’s still really nice and everythin’ and she loved the Firefly Market,” Darren replied. “I don’ know if I’ll go out with her again, although she hinted at it. I’d jus’ rather not be set up; find my own date.”

“If that’s the only way for you to get a date…” Annaleigh trailed off before letting out a loud, “Ah HA!” when she found her shoes in the compartment underneath the living room table. She slipped them onto her feet before dropping down onto the couch, brushing her hair back behind her ears. “I wouldn’ knock it.”

“Ouch,” Darren called back with a short chuckle. A few minutes later, the shower water turned off and he made his way out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, leaving wet footprints in the carpet. “I don’ see you puttin’ yourself out there.”

Annaleigh didn’t answer as she watched as droplets of water dripped down from his hair, sliding down his chest and back, making their way through the grooves of his muscles before soaking in to the material around his waist. “Do me a favor and go start up the car so we can jus’ jump in and go?”

“Sure,” Annaleigh instantly replied, jumping to her feet. Don’ go there, Ace. You promised yourself a long time ago that you’d leave him alone.

She moved over to her suitcase and zipped it shut before popping out the extractable handle, rolling it behind her. She headed to the front door and grabbed the car keys from the corkboard hook by the door before retrieving her wallet from the table, sliding it into her jeans pocket.

Annaleigh made her way out the door and down the stairs of the apartment complex before making her way over to Darren’s car. Unlocking the doors, she popped the back door open and set her suitcase inside before slamming it shut, moving to get into the driver’s seat, turning on the car. Darren came out of the apartment complex and got into the passenger seat of the car.

“Let’s roll,” he said as he slammed the car door shut. “An’ don’ speed this time.”

“I didn’ get pulled over, that’s gotta stand for somethin’,” Annaleigh said, giving him a toothy grin before she leaned forward to release the parking brake. “Besides, you an’ Lance taught me how ta drive so it’d really be your fault for settin’ a bad example.”

“Psssh, no one cares how ya drive on the back roads, I jus’ thought you had more common sense than to drive that way on the freeway and stuff,” Darren said with a scoff although he had a half smile on his face.

“Yeah, yeah,” Annaleigh quietly replied.

If only I had common sense. She could say that about a lot of things that she had done in her life. But, she was never one to really think things through when they peeked her interest. Often times she shot herself in the foot because of it, though.

Soon, she pulled into the parking lot of the local high school before cutting off the engine to the car. Darren grabbed her arm, stopping her from opening the door as she reached for the handle. “If you were thinkin’ ‘bout Wade…” he said, peering over at her, letting his sentence hang off the end. “I’m sorry. I didn’ mean to.”

“It’s fine,” Annaleigh replied, waving a hand in the air, removing her arm from his hand, trying to shake out the jolts that shot up her arm and to her stomach. She gave a shrug of her shoulders. “You know me, I jus’ dwell on things a lot.” Darren’s eyebrows knitted together slightly. “I don’ want you ta do that.”

“Do what?” Darren asked. Annaleigh didn’t answer but leaned over in her seat to kiss him on the cheek.

“You’ve really helped, D, you always have,” Annaleigh said to him, giving him a smile. “With my mom leaving and everythin’, I don’ want you ta think that you haven’ been the best support I could have. I jus’ think ‘bout it sometimes; wonder how Wade is doin’. Yes, sometimes I think back ‘bout how I coulda put myself in that position, but it happened and things are better now. I’m blessed that the Lord saw me through and helped me to the other side with friends and family there to support me. Trust me, I’m fine.”

“Shoot, you know that when a girl says that she’s lyin’?” Darren said with a click of his tongue, hiking an eyebrow in amusement.

“Figured you’d know by now that when I say it, I’m tellin’ the truth,” Annaleigh replied as she got out of the car.

“Or you jus’ want me ta stop talkin’ ‘bout it,” Darren said, popping the buckle of his seat.

“That too,” Annaleigh replied with a wink before slamming the driver’s side door shut. She slid her hands into her jeans pockets as Darren rounded the car, adjusting the bag on his shoulder, and followed him through the halls of the high school, making her way to the auditorium, following the muffled sounds of singing.

“Hey, seriously, thanks for helpin’ me out today, I really needed it,” Darren said, pulling the door to the auditorium open. He placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her into the room. “I really appreciate it.”

“Thanks for givin’ me a place to crash,” Annaleigh replied.

“No worries,” Darren said before quickening his pace as he headed down the aisle. He turned back to give her a smile. “It was nice to have someone to come home to.” Annaleigh stopped walking, feeling her face heat up as he continued down the aisle, calling for everyone’s attention.

Calm down, Ace, he was just helpin’ out a friend. Annaleigh gave a shake of her head and raked her fingers through her hair, following him down the aisle towards an empty row of seats. Nothing big. Get your mind out of the gutter. She gave a smile and waved towards the high school kids who were whispering excitedly to each other.

“Sorry I’m late,” Darren called in a booming voice and all the chatter immediately stopped. “I’m glad to see you’re all here on time. I know it’s not ideal, but thank you for giving up your weekend for this rehearsal. Just give me a few minutes to set up.”

“We have to wait for Miss Collins anyway,” a girl called out.

“That gives me a bit more time, then,” Darren said as he made his way up to the stage, setting his bag down. “Talk amongst yourselves.”

“Annie.”

Annaleigh made a face at the name before making her way over to Gabriel, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. “Hey, Gabe,” she greeted her half-brother with a smile. “How’s dad? Did you get the instruments? Did you remember to get the Ibanez amp and not the Marshall? I probably should’ve checked before you and Lance drove down here—“

“One question at a time, Ace,” Lance said, moving to give his friend a hug. Annaleigh looked him over. His cheek and lip still looked a bit puffy and she could see where his bottom lip had split, but overall, he didn’t look as bad as Darren had described him. She squeezed him just a bit tighter, nonetheless. “Relax, I’m fine.”

“Jus’ checkin’,” Annaleigh replied, giving him a smile. “I got back here as fast as I could. I was worried.”

“I’m ok,” Lance repeated.

“And dad’s fine, just busy putting dinner together for tonight,” Gabriel explained, counting off on his fingers. “I got your bass and my guitar ready to be set up onstage, yes I got the right amp, and yes you should’ve checked before we left.” He put a hand on top of her head, ruffling her hair. “You need to calm down, seriously.”

Annaleigh sucked in a deep breath of air before letting it out through her nose before moving to greet Jasmine. She couldn’t help it. Ever since everything with Wade had happened, she had changed. She could still be considered a firecracker in regards to her spontaneity—and still answered to that very nickname whenever she talked to Chris or Joey amongst other nicknames like “Little Lady”, “Little Miss”, and “Missy”—but a lot of the times, she preferred to know where everything and everybody was at all times. She had to know how things could potentially turn out before agreeing to something.

“Thanks for coming to help,” Darren said, walking up to his friends, rubbing his hands together.  “These kids really love to sing and perform in their show choir. But, they could use the help in some areas. Jazzy, I was hoping you could help them with their dancing.”

“You got it, bro,” Jasmine replied, curling her hand into a fist, punching his shoulder. “No problem.”

“And Gabe, Ace, I think you two would be the best to help those doing duets to, well…learn how to sing together and to work off each other,” Darren continued, turning towards Annaleigh and Gabriel. “And Lance, I’m going to have you help those who sing bass. I don’t think any of them can reach your tones, but it’d really help me out.”

He then looked at his friends standing around him. “Plus, some of these kids here are aspiring to be in bands and continuing on with music as a career, and you all could really help them out. I’m going to set some time aside for you to answer their questions about dance and the business and everything.”

“Relax, D,” Jasmine said, lifting a hand to pat her brother’s shoulder. “You’ve got professionals in your midst.” She flipped her hair with her hand and gave a wide smile. “I’m sure we can whip these kids into shape.”

“Layin’ it on a bit thick, don’t ya think?” Darren asked in a monotone, rolling her eyes before giving his sister a shove. “She goes to one dance school and instead of getting a big head, she gets big feet.” Jasmine stuck her tongue out at him after she regained her balance.

“Miss Collins! Mr. Dale, Miss Collins is here.”

Annaleigh craned her neck and watched as a pretty red-head stepped into the room, a bag hanging off of her shoulder. She reached into her bag and pulled out a book, making her way over to the piano, greeting some of the students as she went by.

“Oh, good,” Darren said with a smile. He lifted his hand in her direction in greeting. Leila did the same, a warm smile on her face. “Leila is our accompanist for rehearsals. She runs all the vocal warm ups and helps me with the kids for private lessons. Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Jasmine grabbed Annaleigh’s arm, pulling her aside. “So how was your night spent at my brother’s apartment?” she asked with a grin, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Nothin’ happened, Jazz,” Annaleigh replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Nothin’ ever happens with you two,” Jasmine said with a groan.

Who’re you tellin’? Annaleigh held back a snort, keeping her face neutral. You’re focusin’ on your music right now, Ace. She pressed her lips together as she watched her lips together as she watched Darren and Leila share a laugh by the piano. She said something to him, putting her hand on his arm. You don’ have time for datin’ anyway.

“Girl, you must be jelly ‘cause jam don’ shake like that,” Jasmine said, snapping her fingers repeatedly in Annaleigh’s face. Annaleigh blinked repeatedly before widening her eyes in innocence. “Relax; he’s not interested in her.”

“I am relaxed,” Annaleigh replied out of the corner of her mouth. “And I’m not jealous.”

“Mmhm.” Jasmine crossed her arms over her chest. She squinted at her friend before letting out a sigh. “When are you going to allow yourself to be happy?”

“I am happy,” Annaleigh replied as convincingly as she could. No one gets hurt this way, that’s all.

She was putting all her faith in God to help he move on and to find love, and be ready to accept love, but she was still worried about her own role in whatever God’s plan was for her. She had seen her parents and Lance and Jake split up; two couples she thought were perfect for each other. She had eve tricked herself into thinking her relationship with Wade would go somewhere in the long run.

She just didn’t want to get hurt again. And she sure as hell would make sure no one would ever hurt her friends or family.

24 Hour Fitness

A week later, Lance pressed jabbed his glove covered fist into the punching, making a small dent in the material before pressing his sweaty forehead against the bag. He closed his eyes, feeling his sweat slip down all sides of his head as he fought to catch his breath. His heart was hammering in his chest; trying to bust its way out of his rib cage. He kept taking in deep breaths of air, swallowing it down into his body, and felt his heart rate slowing down.

“Good.” Lane could hear the smile in Annaleigh’s voice. He forced his lips up into a smile, turning his head to the side to face her direction, opening his eyes slightly. “You’re really getting the hang of it.”

A low groan escaped Lance’s chest when tightness suddenly coiled in the center of his chest. His knees slowly started to buckle when he felt his heart give one, two, three hard pumps before pumping normally. Lance could feel the energy in his arms sliding away as quickly as sand through an hour glass. He dropped his arms to his sides, shaking them out, breathing in deeply, as a light fluttering feeling entered his chest.

“You ok?” Annaleigh asked and he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Lance replied, nodding his head, opening his eyes fully to look over at her. Annaleigh lifted a taped hand and wiped at the sweat that dripped from her nose. “That just…took a lot more out of me than I thought it was going to.”

“Here, you look a little pale,” Annaleigh replied, reaching for his water bottle. “Shoulda had ya take a bit of a break earlier.”

“No, no, I’m good,” Lance replied, taking the water bottle from her.

He popped the top off and tilted his head back. Dropping his jaw, he squirted the water into his mouth, collecting as much of it as possible into his mouth before clamping his lips shut. He passed he water bottle back towards her and slowly swallowed the rapidly-turning-warm water in his mouth in little gulps.

It wasn’t that he needed a water break. And he knew the flutter in his chest wasn’t about harboring secret feelings for his best friend. Those were different kinds of flutters. Flutters he thought he had experienced with her, with a girl, the flutters he thinks he tricked himself into feeling when he was with a girl. They weren’t even the same flutters he felt when he was with Jake or around any boy he thought was cute.

It was natural for his heart. When he was active, his heart beat normally as anybody else’s, but when he was just sitting around and relaxing, the flutters came. Or at least that was how he could describe it. His doctors had called it something else; heart arrhythmia. His heart was working the “opposite way of everyone else’s,” he was explained.

His trip to the hospital that day had been unplanned. One minute, he was jogging through the neighborhood with Jake. They were running at an even pace, matching each other’s movement, arm swing for arm swing and foot fall for foot fall.

“Race ya home,” Jake said with a challenging glint in his eye, gently jostling him with his elbow. Lance looked ahead of him and saw their house at the end of the street getting bigger and bigger with each step they took. “Loser fixes breakfast for everyone.”

“I don’t knowww,” Lance groaned, scrunching up his face. Jake lifted his eyebrows and Lance held back a smile before he took off running, his shoes making a pat, pat, pat sound as they hit the glittering asphalt.

“Hey!” Jake shouted after him. “Cheater!”

“Loser!” Lance called back. He pumped his arms, swinging them as fast as he could, matching the pace with his legs. He could hear Jake’s rhythmic gasps of air behind him as his boyfriend hurried to catch up with him. He could feel all the energy sliding out of his body, but he kept pushing himself forward.

A laugh slipped past his lips as Jake came up beside him, giving him a shove, trying to knock him off course. Lance wind milled his arms before changing his direction, hurrying after his boyfriend. He steeled his shoulder and as they turned into the driveway, Lance steeled his shoulder and collided into Jake, knocking him over into the grass.

“Cheater,” Jake said around his laughter.

“Loser,” Lance replied, rolling onto his back. He gazed up at the sky before lifting his hand to his head, wiping the sweat from his warm skin. His chest heaved as he gasped for air.

“Come on,” Jake said, getting to his feet. He stood over Lance and offered him his hands, wiggling his fingers. “We have to walk it off.”

“I don’t think I can move,” Lance breathed, lazily lifting his arms into the air before dropping them back down onto his chest. His lips trembled as a tight feeling appeared in the center of his chest, squeezing tighter and tighter as he tried to catch his breath. His heart throbbed in his chest, pumping harder and harder.

“Come on, get up,” Jake said, grabbing Lance’s hands, trying to lift his boyfriend. “Seriously, Lance, get up. It’s not good for you.”

“Can’t,” Lance choked out. He stared up at Jake with wide eyes. His vision was blurring, the edges black, slowly darkening. Jake frowned, dropping Lance’s arms to his chest. He took in deep shuddering breath of air.

“Lance?” Jake asked, dropping down to his side. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Lance watched Jake’s lips move, but his words started fading out until he couldn’t hear anything he was saying at all. A roaring sound filled his ears and was the last thing he heard before closing his eyes, blacking out.

When he had awoken the first noise he heard was a rhythmic beeping sound. He tried to blink his eyes open, but felt like they were weighted down with blocks of cement. Something was clamped on his finger, something cut into his wrist, and his legs were covered in something coarse and itchy. He parted his dry lips and tried to make a sound, but only managed to let out a rush of air.

“James?”

“Mmmm.” Lance darted his tongue out between his lips and did his best to wet them, but his mouth was so dry.

“Hold on, I’ll get you some water.”

Lance heard footsteps and the sound of water running before he heard the distinct sound of something being filled. The water shut off and he heard footsteps again before he sensed someone by his side. Lance tried to open his eyes and managed to open them a crack before slowly forcing his eyelids apart, only to squeeze them shut a split second later against the harsh light.

“Here, drink.

Lance felt a paper cup being forced into his hand. He slowly opened his eyes and looked over at the paper cup in his hand. He moved it to his mouth and tilted the cup, pouring the drink into his mouth with a satisfied sigh through his nose. The cool liquid chilled his body all the way down into his stomach.

“Worried…heart…faint…attack…”

“I had…a heart attack?” Lance managed to get out, lowering the cup from his mouth.

He opened his eyes fully and looked around the room and realized with the start that he was in the hospital. He looked down at the diamond covered hospital gown. Grabbing a handful of cloth, he pulled the material away from his chest to see a small white pad suckered to his chest over his heart.

“In a way, but I wouldn’t go that far with what I’m saying.” Lance looked over at the man sitting in the computer chair in the corner of the room, looking back at him. He clicked the top of his pen before pointing the tip in Lance’s direction. “I said, it might’ve felt like your body was under attack. I’m Dr. Wilkins, by the way.”

“What happened?” Lance asked.

“You fainted,” the man replied. “Your blood wasn’t getting enough oxygen, and your heart was working overtime to try and supply more oxygen to your body. However, the reason for the lack of oxygen was due to your heart palpitations.”

“My what?” Lance asked.

“You have an irregular heartbeat,” Dr. Wilkins replied, getting to his feet, moving to stand next to Lance’s bed. “It’s strange though, with heart palpitations, it usually occurs when your body is in motion, when you’re being active like running, biking, swimming, anything like that. But with you…your palpitations fluctuate when you’re relaxing or standing still or lying down.” Lance heard a quick double beat from the machine by his head. “Just like that.”

“And that’s what made me faint?” Lanced asked.

Dr. Wilkins stared at him for a moment, pressing his lips together, suddenly looking older. Or rather, older than he already was. His hair was graying, making his black locks more of a charcoal color. The lines around his mouth and eyes deepened with the look of worry before it was erased into an expressionless look.

“That and other complications I’ve found while monitoring your heart,” Dr. Wilkins replied with a sigh, tapping his pen on the metal railing that sat on the side of Lance’s bed. “You see, with your palpitations being normal for you, it alters how your body works however it’s not something that has really been impactful on your health until now. Your friend, Jake, told me you two were out running before this happened.”

“Yeah,” Lance replied, nodding his head.

“Well, with your heart working hard to keep up with your body, it was beating as it normally would have albeit rapidly to keep the flow of oxygen going,” Dr. Wilkins explained as he tucked his pen in to his pocket. “So, when your body was coming down from your speed, and your heartbeat was shifting back to its normal heart beat with the palpitations, the skipped beat lasted longer than it should have.”

“You see the skipped heart beat is a way for your heart to restart itself and the quick heart beats is a way for your heart to catch up with the skipped beat. To go from the sudden rapid, regular beating of your heart to slowing down to skipped beat threw your body out of wack. The lack of oxygen made you faint. Amongst other things.”

“What do you mean?” Lance asked.

“Have you ever heard of a Patent Foramen Ovale?” Dr. Wilkins asked and Lance shook his head. “Not a lot of people do. Anyway; it’s a clinical term referring to holes in the heart. All babies are born with them as a way to help them survive before they develop the use of their lungs. During the babies’ development and before birth the holes shut, although it’s not uncommon for a hole to stay open.”

“Are…I have a hole in my heart?” Lance asked, fear rising through his body. His armpits prickled with sweat and he moved to sit up in bed. “Is that bad? Am…am I going to die?”

“Not all holes in your heart are fatal,” Dr. Wilkins replied. “You’ve been living with it all your life and it hasn’t had any problems with your daily life until now. We won’t know how big the hole is, nor how bad it could get, or how much better it could get without going in to check it out. Depending on the size of the Ventricular Septal Defect, or VSD—hole in the heart—we’d figure out whether or not you’d need surgery to correct the problem.”

“And if I don’t?” Lance asked.

“…It could be fatal,” Dr. Wilkins replied after a moment of silence. Lance felt his jaw drop and everything else the doctor said was muffled, sounding as if he was listening to him from underwater.

I could die, Lance thought to himself. I really could die.

“Your friend got you here in enough time. We’d just like to monitor you for a couple more days.”

Jake, Lance thought to himself. He immediately opened his mouth, forming the words to correct the doctor, but he couldn’t get the word ‘boyfriend’ out. This is my punishment, he realized with a start. God doesn’t like how I’m living and he’s actually given me a broken heart for it. No wonder I could never hold a relationship.

“You can take medications if it really comes down to that, but surgery would be the operative way to really get a look and to see just what we’re dealing with here—“

“Do my parents know about this?” Lance asked.

“Er…your friend has been phoning your friends and family,” Dr. Wilkins said, taken aback. “However, since you’re over the age of 21, it’s not something we are required to share with your family. You can let them know as little or as much as you want.”

“If they ask…I was just badly dehydrated,” Lance said and Dr. Wilkins looked even more startled. “Please. I don’t want to worry them. I just…need time to figure this out.”

“Mr. Bass, I don’t know if I can—“

“Please,” Lance said, grabbing at the metal bar at the side of his bed. “I just…I really need to think about this. Just for a little bit. Please.”

Dr. Wilkins closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh. “Alright, but I’d still like to keep you here over night at least,” he replied. “And I’d like to hear back from you soon about the surgery also, keep tabs on how your heart is and any symptoms including fainting, shortness of breath, fatigue, dizziness, anything out of the ordinary. I’ll go get you some reading on the subject.”

“Thank you,” Lance replied, letting out a sigh of relief. Dr. Wilkins nodded before making his way out of the room. As soon as the door shut behind him, Lance put his face in his hands.

A month later, Jake had broken up with him.

“At least eat something,” Annaleigh said before making her way over to her bag. She reached into the side pocket and retrieved a Nature Valley bar, throwing it towards him. Lance caught it against his chest before he moved to unwrap the crumbly food. “Can I ask ya somethin’?”

“Anything,” Lance replied, taking a bite out of the bar. “You know that.” He followed her over towards the bench at the side of the room. Annaleigh dropped down onto the bench, sitting across from him. He watched as she messed with the water bottle in her hands. He loudly chewed for a moment, bringing his eyebrows together as he watched her. “What?”

“Do you think that if you weren’t gay you’d be interested in me?” Annaleigh asked. Lance felt his eyes widened. He chewed rapidly before swallowing.

“Ace, I love you, you know that,” Lance said. He used his tongue to clear his teeth of chunks of oat. “You’re my soul mate, I know you are. I think you’re attractive, and sassy, and funny, and smart, and motherly, and so many other qualities that would take hours on end to describe and I’m running the risk of inflating your ego. Any guy would be crazy to not be interested in you. But for me, it’s different. I think I’d be interested as your friend and learn what it is that you want in life and support you enough to believe that you can achieve it.”

“I want to wake up every day and be normal,” Annaleigh replied. Lance took another bite out of the bar before holding it out towards her. She set her water bottle down and leaned forward to take a bite, making a show of chewing loudly with her mouth open, causing Lance to laugh.

“Your Gammaw would kill you if she saw your lack of manners,” Lance commented.

Annaleigh smiled as she swallowed. “I want to make music and have a family, and eventually be a mother and a wife, and to stop feeling like I don’t deserve any of it,” she continued her explanation. “I want to know that you’ll always be by my side.”

Lance wanted to reassure her that he would be, but as he felt the familiar fluttering in his chest, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “I want what you want,” he said to her. “I want a family, and to feel normal, and I want to be there for you as much as I can,” Lance replied, “but you need to realize that that’s not always going to be my job as your friend.”

“I know,” Annaleigh replied, taking another swig from the water bottle.

“Darren’s been there for you more than I ever could, but I think that’s because he’s really the best one to help you with this. I mean he was there for you when your mom left,” Lance explained. He then peered at her, tilting her head to the side. “You never told me…how did her visit go?”

“Weirdly,” Annaleigh replied, wrinkling her nose. “I got the vibe all over again that somethin’ was goin’ on that they weren’ tellin’ me and Gabriel, but whatever it was, I don’ think they said.”

“Do you think they’re—“

“Getting’ back together?” Annaleigh asked, her eyebrows shooting up. “No way. They were too polite around each other.  You know, with those smiles that you’d find in dentist adds?” She gave an over the top, bright, toothy smile and Lance made a face.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Lance said, waving a hand in the air. “Jus’ stop!” Annaleigh laughed, dropping the smile. Lance’s smile faded for a moment. “I think what I really want, is to show people that I’m just like them, just…gay. Like Stace said, I just need to knock some sense into them.” He flexed his tape covered fingers as if to prove his point.

“You want ta beat people up to get your point across?” Annaleigh asked.

“No, I want to defend myself; my life, who I am,” Lance replied with a shake of his head. “That guy thought he could knock me down just because he thinks he’s better than me. I don’t want to have my parents worry about me all the time and I definitely don’t want them to get another call that someone beat up their gay son. They’re already worried enough about me; I just want to be as normal as you want to be.”

“Well, if you can do it, I can do it,” Annaleigh said, holding her hands out towards him. “One for all—“

“And all for one,” Lance replied, slapping his palms down onto hers before taking her hands, gently squeezing them.  “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Annaleigh.”

“Yeah, James, same here,” Annaleigh replied, squeezing his hands as well. Lance felt a pang in his chest, seeing the sincerity in her eyes. She then patted his knee before getting to her feet. “God knows you won’t get this combo down without me.”

Lance rolled his eyes as he got to his feet and Annaleigh stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, giving him a tight hug. “And for the record; I love you, too,” she said into his chest. Lance wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back as he placed a kiss on the top of her head.