~1~

December 31, 1999

Clinton, Mississippi

Getting a personal invitation to audition for *NSYNC’s live band for their next concert tour was never in the cards for Annaleigh. At least she never imagined seeing that as she flipped them over one by one to see if she would ever get out of Mississippi.

“Hi, I’m Melanie Rains and I’m the A&R Scout for Jive Records, and I’d like to invite you out to Orlando, Florida, to audition for the vacant spot in *NSYNC’s live band as the new bass guitarist. We are looking at a few select people to audition that have been recommended to us as well as many other musicians from around the United States. Auditions will be held in Orlando in a week’s time on Tuesday, January 7th, 2001.“

“I understand this is a quick turn around, but with the sudden departure of our previous bass player over a family emergency, the end of the ‘NSYNC in Concert’ Tour tonight, working on the new album, live appearances starting with the AMAs, and a future tour, we need a new bass player lined up as soon as possible. You can call me back at this number between 9am and 6pm to accept or decline this offer as the case may be. I look forward to hearing back from you.”

“If you choose to attend the audition, please come prepared with a song or two rehearsed and ready to play at any time. We’ll have the equipment set up for you, however we understand a personal preference with instruments, so you are free to bring your own bass guitar with you. Also come prepared to answer a few questions regarding your musical experience and why you think you’ll be a good fit for the band. Hope to hear from you soon.”

And to think she never thought anything exciting would happen to her in her sixteen years of life. She had just gotten off her New Year’s shift at the local diner when she received the voicemail. She didn’t believe it at first; it felt like it was going to be just another night at work.

All she wanted was to see what the world had to offer for her. It just didn’t look like it was meant to happen at the time. But Christmas time was all about miracles and in Clinton, Mississippi, they celebrated Christmas and what joys it could give them all month long. This Christmas season proved to have a lot in store for her…as long as she could get through work for the night.

“Thank you for coming out tonight for our New Year’s celebration. We’re going to end the night with your favorite, Awake and Alive.”

A smattering of applause and whistles echoed through the Ole Miss diner. Chairs creaked as the patrons shifted in anticipation, leaning forward as they waited for the opening chords to the song.

16-year-old Annaleigh Carr adjusted her guitar strap, balancing the bass guitar against her right thigh before straightening, pulling her guitar pick out from underneath the strings pressing down on the frets. She flipped it between her fingers before adjusting the microphone stand in front of her. Once everything was in order, she turned towards her dad, Ryan Carr, giving him a smile to show that she was ready.

Turning back towards the microphone, she lifted her hand, curling every finger towards her palm except for her pinky and thumb, pressing the edge of her pinky against the tip of the microphone, the side of her thumb nail gently jabbing her bottom lip. Hearing a quick count of four from the tapping of Ryan’s foot, she started playing the quick opening chords, the violin player catching everyone’s attention with its high pitched sound playing out the melody.

“I’m at world and they try and pull me into the dark,” Ryan sang, pressing his lips against the microphone, right hand twitching up and down as he plucked the strings with his guitar pick. “I struggle to find my faith, as I’m slipping from your arms.”

Annaleigh sucked in a breath of air, briefly closing her eyes before looking into the sea of smiling faces taking her turn at the microphone. “It’s getting harder to stay awake, and my strength is fading fast.” She plucked the thick bass guitar strings with the tip of her pick, angling her head slightly towards the amp that sat behind her. “You breathe into me at last.”

I'm awake I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it's my time
I'll do what I want 'cause this is my life
Here (right here), right now (right now)
I'll stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I'm awake and I'm alive

They played through the rest of the song, the audience quietly singing along. Annaleigh struck the last chord, accenting the last hit of the crash symbol from the small drum kit and smiled as the diner burst into applause and cheers. Annaleigh felt a warm hand touch her shoulder and smiled up at her dad before the two of them bent at the waist, bowing.

“Thank you for coming out tonight, and God Bless,” Ryan said into his microphone, lifting his free hand in the air in a wave. “Enjoy your New Year’s and drive safely. Remember, you can pick up your complimentary album at the counter or you can come find me in church.”

Annaleigh let out the breath of air she had been holding since they had started playing as she stepped back from the front of the makeshift stage to unplug her guitar. As a Christmas gift that year, she had barely let it out of her sights, and had barely had enough time to learn anything on it before being thrust into performing. She had made so many mistakes, she was surprised nobody noticed.

Or cared.

Everybody always said, “Oh, no one will notice” but she always noticed and she figured they were just being polite. It was Clinton, Mississippi; everybody was polite there. Even when the newest gossip story hit the streets, passing around from person to person, it was told in the most polite way possible, accompanied by a slight head tilt of sympathy and a “Bless their heart.” She had seen that look, and heard those words, directed towards her too many times.

“That was a great show, Sweet Pea,” Ryan said, pressing his lips to the back of Annaleigh’s head in a quick kiss.

Annaleigh clicked her tongue as she zipped her guitar case closed before straightening, brushing her dark brown tresses out of her face before planting her hands on her hips. “Shoot, dad, I messed up my chord changes and I dropped my pick a coupla times,” she commented, twisting her mouth to the side.

“But, you kept goin’ and that’s what’s important,” Ryan replied as he removed the strap of his guitar from around his neck, gently setting it down onto the ground. He pointed a finger at her, his lips twitching up into a smile before placing it on her nose. “For someone whose jus’ recorded these songs on a computer the other day—which I still don’t really understand—you did your best, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“Thank ya, daddy,” Annaleigh replied with an over the top smile before moving to give him a side hug. “Come on, let’s get ya off yer feet.” She took his guitar from him, setting it down into its case before taking his hand, looping an arm around his waist, helping him shuffle to he edge of the stage, his soft boot cast dragging on the floor. “You heard what the doctor said.”

“There’s too much to do to just sit around all the gosh darn time,” Ryan replied through gritted teeth as he slowly stepped down off the stage and onto the floor. He reached for the crutch being held out towards him and gave a nod of thanks to the patron before he shoved it into his armpit. “Don’t worry ‘bout me, just head back to work before I get you fired.”

Because we need the money. She let out a heavy sigh through her nose.

He didn’t say those words, and she knew he’d never let those words out of his mouth, but she could practically see them on the tip of his tongue. Ever since her mom had left, money was tight. Ryan could only work so many hours at the University of Mississippi and as the evening Youth Pastor at their local church, going back and forth day in and day out. So she picked up a job at the local diner, working around her school, soccer, and church schedule.

“Are sure you’re gonna be ok?” Annaleigh asked. Ryan chuckled and instead of replying, just placed a kiss on the top of her head before giving her a small shove. “Alright, alright. I’m goin’.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze before moving her way through the packed diner—thanking everyone that gave her compliments on the performance—before making her way around the back of the diner counter, reaching for her apron on the hook.

“Almost late.”

“I’m bringin’ more people to the diner, McIntyre, you should be happy,” Annaleigh said to her co-worker and son of the owner of the diner, Alan McIntyre before sticking her tongue out at him.

She had known him since they were kids and only became friends after an incident at the baseball diamond where she smacked herself in the face with her own soccer ball in a botched attempt to prove to him that girls could do anything boys could. He was two years older than her and one of the stars of the high school’s baseball team. In Clinton, if you weren’t born to be a singer, you were born to be a baseball player. They were the two things that really put the city on the map.

“What’s on order?”

“Two fried Oreos, one bacon cheeseburger with fries, and three eggnogs,” Alan replied, passing her a slip of paper with the order on it. It wasn’t Sothern food if it wasn’t fried and greasy, that was for sure. “Dad’s makin’ the eggnog, and I’ll get the burger if you make the fried Oreos.” Before she could answer, he stopped to give her a warning look. “And don’ eat so many Oreos this time...or pancake mix.”

“It’s good and ya know it. Have you tried it it with a Hershey bar?” Annaleigh replied with a grin, the mole on her upper lip disappearing as she did so. If there was one thing she couldn’t get enough of, it was chocolate. Whether she needed something sweet, some comfort food, or had a craving for it, chocolate was always her go to snack.

Alan just rolled his eyes, his lips twitching into a brief smile. When it came down to baseball and working at the diner, he knew when to be serious and when to have fun. Unfortunately a lot of the time, and in her opinion too much of the time, he chose to be serious. ”Where are the bowls?”

“Right where ya left ‘em,” Alan replied, dropping a meat patty onto the grill, quickly pulling his hand back as it started to sizzle. He reached over towards the fryer and grabbed a bowl filled with goopy, slightly hard, pancake mix.

“And the Oreos?” Annaleigh asked.

“Didja check your locker?” he replied, deadpan. A split second later, a string of curses came rushing out of his mouth after getting smacked in the back of the head by his father’s hand. “I was kidding.”

“Leave her be, son,” Mr. McIntyre said to him before giving Annaleigh a warm smile. “There’s some more in the back. The missus is back there lookin’ after all the young’uns.” Annaleigh blinked her thanks before heading into the back of the diner, smiling to herself as she watched all the little kids in the room ran circles around Mrs. McIntyre, fighting for her attention.

“Miss Anna, Miss Anna,” the kids all chanted as soon as they spotted her.

“What are you doing?” a boy with a gap in his teeth asked as he walked over to her. He tilted his head back to look at her with his wide eyes.

To tell or not to tell? Telling would entail a bunch of little kids to whine incessantly and stomp their feet to get a cookie. Not telling would have the same result. Kids and cookies went hand in hand, there’s no way she would be able to sneak it past them. Annaleigh opened a cabinet door and pulled out a package of cookies, handing it to Gap Tooth.

“Only two per person, ok?” she said to him.

“Kay,” he chirped, giving a bright smile before turning on his feet to give the package of cookies to Mrs. McIntyre. “Miss Lucy, we can only have two.”

“Yes, I heard, dear,” Mrs. McIntyre said with a chuckle as she took the package from Gap Tooth. “Thank you.” She opened the package and the kids swarmed around her, fidgeting as they waited for their treats to be put into their hands. Annaleigh reached for a second package of cookies before closing the cabinet. She made her way over to the table, leaned over the kids’ heads and grabbed a couple of Oreos from the package before hurrying out of the room, a chorus of, “Heyyyy” and “Miss Lucy!” following behind her.

Annaleigh let out an over the top cackle before taking a bite out of the cookie in her hand. Laughing to herself, she made her way back over to the fryer and quickly opened the package coating four cookies in the bowl of pancake batter before dropping them into the fryer. The oil bubbled instantly.

Annaleigh pulled her hair back into a ponytail with her hands. She pulled the elastic band off of her wrist to secure her hair as she turned to face the counter, smiling when she spotted her friends, Darren and Jasmine Dale. “What can I get y’all?” Annaleigh asked, resting her arms on the counter. Before they could answer she tiled her head to the side and said, “I know what y’all can get me…a foot massage. My feet are killin’ me!”

“How ‘bout some s’mores at the fire tower?” Jasmine asked, removing her arms from the puffy coat that was previously wrapped around her body. Melting snowflakes dotted their hair, hats, and the scarves they adorned to keep out the Mississippi cold. “The bonfire’s already lit, Ace.”

Annaleigh was called “Ace” by practically everybody in town that knew her. She had been going by that nickname for years, courtesy of Darren who had at first called her that when he was teasing her. It stuck partially because her initials, A.C., already sounded like the name and partially because she used it to describe herself. Give her enough time to try something and she was sure to ace it. Or completely bomb.

“Can’t. I don’t get off work until midnight,” Annaleigh replied with a shake of her head before turning back to the deep fryer. “Wouldn’t even be worth trying to see the fireworks.”

She removed the fried dessert with a handheld strainer that hung from the wall and shook off the excess oil before gently placing them onto a clean plate. After locating the bottle of powdered sugar, she sprinkled the white powder onto the fried treat before setting it down onto the serving counter.

“Come on, the fireworks are the best part,” Jasmine protested, her words spilling out of her mouth, jumbling together the faster the came out. “And it’s tradition, we always go and ring in the new year, and we don’t have to be there when the fireworks actually go off,  I mean, they’re still firing ‘em off at one in the morning…“

Annaleigh let out a sigh through her nose, drumming her fingers on the counter as she waited for her friend to finish her train of thought, or to be interrupted, whichever came first. Jasmine could never sit still and did just about everything fast; eating, talking, walking, you name it. Everybody called her “Jazzy” as it always seemed like she was jazzed up on caffeine or something that gave her nonstop bursts of energy.

“Well, I have to make sure dad gets home ok, too,” Annaleigh said, interrupting him.

“I’m sure mom and dad won’t have a problem dropping him off,” Darren replied, setting his brown eyes on her. He then leaned back on the stool he was sitting on, looking around the crowded area for his parents. “See? He seems to be doing ok.”

He was two years older than both Annaleigh and his sister and was often the one to calm them down. Attending school at the University of Mississippi, he spent as much time as he could at home making sure his family was ok, and to look out for his sister. At a time where a lot of older siblings chose to distance themselves from their younger siblings as they moved on with their lives, the two of them just got closer. Annaleigh loved that about him, amongst a laundry list of other things.

“I just don’t want him to be alone,” Annaleigh replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “Why do you think I said I’d perform with him tonight? I needed to get him out of the house for a little while.” Feeling a nudge in her side she turned her head to see a stack of menus balanced on Alan’s outstretched palm. He gently jabbed her in the side a second time with the corner of the stack and she took them from him, adding them to the stack underneath the counter. “He shouldn’t be sitting at home by himself counting down ‘till midnight. And it’s the first New Year’s without mom, so…”

Annaleigh looked through the crowd and over at her dad, who was sitting at a table with Evelyn and John Dale. He seemed to be in good spirits, talking and laughing with them, nursing a hot chocolate, but she could see the distance in his eyes. The same distance that she had seen since she had come home from seeing Darren off to college only to find that her mom had moved out. That was only five months ago, and she still expected her mom to step through the door at any minute bearing gifts and apologies.

Realistically, she knew it would never come, not if her parents’ previous arguments were any indication. She just wish she knew why her mom had left. Her dad could be overprotective of her from time to time, and while they normally had open lines of communication and trust, he just seemed to shut down from the event. Not that she could blame him.

“And you chose to be working the whole night?” Alan asked, clearly listening in on their conversation. He slapped a wet rag down onto the counter and started wiping it down.

“We need the money,” Annaleigh replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “Dad’s not doing much with his busted ankle, so…” She spread out her arms indicating the diner.

She’d been working at the Ole Miss Diner since the start of that summer, starting out as a busser and quickly working her way up to a cook and server. Not that it was much of a surprise to anyone; living in Mississippi, it was normal for a girl to be taught how to run a home in the chance they decide to be a stay at home mom in the future. Not that it really mattered, the minute her mom had left, Annaleigh’s fate had been set in stone.

Alan hiked a brow before running his fingers through his hair. He twisted his mouth to the side before letting out a sigh through his nose, briefly closing his eyes. “Alright, get out of here,” he said after a moment of silence.

“What?” Annaleigh asked him before she shifted her cognac brown eyes up towards the clock that ticked close and closer to midnight. “But, it’s not even ten o’clock.”

Alan clicked his tongue, waving his hand in the air. “Think of it as a late Christmas gift,” he replied, a half smile coming to his face. “This place will be emptying out closer to midnight anyway so soon you wouldn’t be doing much.” He waved his hand in the air. “I’ll talk to dad, make sure you can keep your pay for the night.”

“Are you sure?” Annaleigh pressed. She was already reaching for the knot sitting in the center of her back, loosening it.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Alan replied with a nod of his head. “You’ve been workin’ hard all this time, you deserve it.”

“You’re awesome, Al,” Annaleigh said with a smile as she moved past him, gently hitting him on the arm when she heard him quip, “I know.” She headed into the back of the diner, shoving her apron into her locker before removing her bag, coat, hat, and scarf. Waving to Mrs. McIntyre and throwing an. ‘I’ll see ya tomorrow” over her shoulder, she made her way out into the eating area.

She stepped over to her dad and wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Is it ok if I head out with D and Jazzy?” she asked him. He knelt beside him “I don’t have to if ya don’t want me to.”

“Go hang out with your friends, Sweet Pea,” Ryan said, placing his big hand over top her smaller one, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’ New Year’s, you don’t want to hang out with an injured old man like me.” He was joking, but since the minute he had broken his ankle, he tried to continue his old routines, too proud to ask for help most of the time. “John and Evelyn are going ta hang around for a while and make sure I get home, ok. You do the same, ya hear?”

“I’ll make sure of it, sir.” Darren offered his hand and Ryan shook his hand.

“Now, go on,” Ryan said, lifting his hand to pat his daughter’s cheek. “Have fun, sweetie.”

“Thanks, dad.” Annaleigh gave him another kiss on the cheek before sliding into her coat. She wrapped her scarf around her neck, and slid her hat onto her head before following her friends out the door.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Jasmine said as she looped her arm through her friend’s huddling against her to block out the crisp cold air.

“I don’t know,” Annaleigh muttered, glancing back at the diner as they walked farther and farther away from it. She reached into her bag for her cell phone and clicked her tongue as she turned it on. It vibrated slightly in her hand before the lights flashed on. After a moment she saw that she had a couple of missed calls. “Sorry, I didn’t get your calls, I didn’t have my phone on me.”

“You deserve to have some fun, you know,” Darren said to her, spinning his car keys around his index finer. “You’ve been workin’ nonstop since…yeah.” He let out a breath through his nose turning into condensation, twisting and turning in the air before it dissipated. “At least stay at the party for a little while, if you wanna leave, I’ll take you home.”

“Thank ya,” Annaleigh replied, her phone up to her ear as she listened to her messages. She quickly deleted the first two messages after briefly listening to her friends’ voices, before listening to the next message. The message from Melanie Rains. And she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

 “Oh, very funny, Jazz,” Annaleigh said with a roll of her eyes as she removed her phone from her ear. She leaned up against the side of Darren’s truck as Jasmine spun towards her, executing a perfect pirouette with the help of the snow. “I know you wanted me to hang out, but did you really think that’d work?”

Jasmine planted her hands on her hips, her eyebrows lowering into a look of confusion. “What are you talking about?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. Annaleigh twisted her mouth to the side.

If she didn’t feel plain in comparison to her friend before, she definitely did now. Jasmine’s bright pink cheeks and nose made her look even more beautiful than she already did. Annaleigh’s brown hair and brown eyes barely compared to Jasmine’s dirty blond hair and green eyes. It was no wonder she’d never had a boyfriend, let alone never been kissed.

Jasmine took Annaleigh’s phone and pressed the phone to her ear, sticking a glove covered finger into her other ear, eyes shifting back and forth as she listened closely. “Melanie Rains?” Her nose wrinkled as she passed the phone back. “Come on, girl, if I wanted ta trick you, I would’ve thought of a better name than that.”

“Like what? Mississippi Summers?” Annaleigh asked, kicking up a leg and talking in a falsetto. Jasmine let out a single “Ha!” in laughter, shaking her head back and forth.

“Let me see that,” Darren said, holding out his hand for the phone. He wiggled his fingers and Jasmine slapped the phone into Darren’s hand. He listened to the message as well, merely letting out a “Hmm” when he was done. “Jazzy doesn’t talk that slow. Ever.”

“Heyyy,” Jasmine said, smacking her brother on the arm. She then gave a dazzling smile. “Even though it’s true.”

“So, you think it’s…real?” Annaleigh asked, taking her phone back. She listened to the message again, and then a third time.

“Put it on speaker,” Darren suggested. A second later, they were all listening to the voice message out loud. The message ended with a click. Silence fell over the three of them punctuated from the clicking of the snow hitting the metal of Darren’s truck. She must’ve been mirroring her friends’ looks of curiosity, surprise, and doubt.

Annaleigh didn’t know whether or not to believe the message, but it was specific about the location, and *NSYNC had just been signed to Jive Records after a lengthy court battle with their former manager, Lou Pearlman. If she were to audition and get into the band then and there, she wouldn’t be home for months, she’d have little time to have her replaced at the diner, and her dad had already gone through a sudden departure in his life, and another one was definitely not in the cards for him.

“There’s only one person to answer whether or not this is true,” Darren said, reaching up a hand to adjust the hat on his head. “Call Lance, see what’s going on.” He tilted his arm to catch the glow of the street light over  the face of his watch. “It’s only…five in the evening in Hawaii.”

Lance Bass was the last to round out the group of best friends and his cards had spelled out his destiny years before when he had joined *NSYNC.  Ever since their showcase at Pleasure Island, *NSYNC was on the up and up, and in turn, the three of them barely got to see their friend. They were happy for him and made it a point to attend any show that was in Mississippi, but they missed him all the same. No one could deny that he was meant to be a star, he had even gotten into Clinton High School’s top show choir, Attaché, as a freshman.

The automated voice in her phone pealed and she realized she had another message. She quickly listened to it before hanging up. “Wouldn’t you know it, he left a message too, said to call him back,” she said. Darren gave her a smug smile which she chose to ignore. “I’ll call him on the way over.” She shivered against the breeze that swept the snow into the air. Darren reached for the scarf around his neck and unwrapped it before draping it around her neck. Annaleigh bowed her head slightly, giving him a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Sure.” Darren shrugged his shoulders, smiling in return.

Jasmine huffed, catching their attention. “If the two a y’all are done making goo-goo eyes at each other, and once again not doin’ anythin’ about it,” she said, looking back and forth between the two of them, an eye brow spiking, “you can call Lance about the auditions.”

“You’re just jealous because she’s always likes me better than you,” Darren drawled before pushing off the side of his truck to make his way around to the driver’s side, not without lifting his hand to push on his sister’s forehead, tilting her head back. Jasmine made a face, slapping his hand away before sticking her tongue out at him. He was partially right, though.

Annaleigh couldn’t remember a time she wasn’t smitten—as the older folks in town called it—with the oldest Dale child. It was the dimples; she had always been hopelessly attracted to guys with dimples. Hopeless was a good word to describe her love life in any sense. Darren knew she was interested, but insisted on staying friends—in his boyish way of never really talking about the subject.

“My brother is such a loser,” Jasmine complained, a smile on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. She closed her lips, keeping the corners tilted up into a smile before poking her tongue out at her friend. “Why can’t y’all just get married already? That was sweet, even for him.”

Annaleigh let out a sigh. “What would be the point if I get this job?” she asked, stepping around her to open the passenger door as the truck shook as it roared to life. “I’d be gone for who knows how long.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Jasmine reminded her in a sing song voice, tilting her head from side to side. Truer words had never been spoken.

Often times, while she out was having fun and hanging out with friends, she did wonder what Lance was doing at the time. Was he getting ready for the show? Hanging out in the dressing room with JC, Justin, Chris, and Joey? On stage showing off his talent to the world? While she wanted to get a taste of that lifestyle, she wondered if anyone would actually miss her while she was gone. Music was a big thing with her family, maybe it could bring her parents back together…

As Annaleigh pondered the thought, Jasmine pulled the passenger seat door open and climbed inside, sliding along the bench seat until she reached the middle where she propped her feet up on the dashboard. She reached for the music system and twisted the volume knob to turn up the Christmas music the radio stations insisted on playing until the New Year.

“To the fire tower, Jeeves,” Jasmine commanded, pointing a finger out the front windshield.

“As you wish, madam,” Darren replied, his words dripping with sarcasm. Annaleigh climbed into the truck, slamming the door shut behind her.

 “I’ll call Lance on the way,” she said as she reached for her seat belt. She propped her feet up on the dashboard as well. “Lucky duck. He’s sitting in paradise while we’re here in the middle of another snow fall.”

“But, there’s nothing more pretty than Clinton at winter time,” Darren replied.

As he shifted his truck into drive, and pulled out of the gravel parking lot, Annaleigh couldn’t help but agree with him. Summer, spring, winter, fall, Clinton always had a beautiful sight to offer. She was sure there were plenty more beautiful places out there, and wanted to see them all someday.

Maybe that day was coming sooner than she expected.