Chapter 12 - Now and Forever

Monday, May 1st, 1995
Ellie took the light purple binder she used for chemistry out of her floral backpack. She opened up to a new sheet of paper and set the binder completely parallel to the edge of the desk closest to her. She opened the textbook to the twelfth chapter, equilibrium reactions and equations, and lined the book completely centre to her space on the left and Claire’s space on the right. She took out a pencil, eraser, and pencil sharpener from her pencil tin and lined them at the top of her binder. She set her bag neatly at her feet and straightened her outfit, a blue, checked sundress over a white t-shirt. She checked her watch, a dainty silver time piece with a blue face her parents had given her for her sixteenth birthday just over ten months before and she swept her long, golden brown hair behind her shoulders. She was blonde as a child, but over the last few years, her hair had started taking on the caramel colour of her mother Emily’s tightly bound bun.
Next to her, Claire leaned over her tatty, pink spiral notebook as she checked her lipstick in a pink, checked compact. “My mama is buying me the most extravagant carnation pink gown for prom.”
“You’re not using that word correctly,” Ellie whispered with a slight lisp. “Extravagant: over the top, frivolous, wasteful. It’s not a synonym for beautiful.”
“You know, I rue the day you signed up for advanced vocabulary.” Claire put her lipstick and compact into the worn make up bag and took out a chewed up blue pen.
“You need a good vocabulary score on your SATs to get into a good college. If I’m going to go to Princeton, I need at a combined score of at least 1400.”
“You can get into LSU on less than 1000,” Claire muttered as she straightened the sleeves on her cheerleading uniform.
Ellie turned to her best friend. “Claire, honey, we both know I can do better than 1000.”
“With all the studying you do, of course you’re gonna do better than that. I just want to go to college with my best friend, and you know how I can’t stand to spend time away from Mama.” Claire made a small pout. “Is there any chance you’re even gonna let yourself out long enough to go to prom?”
“It’s only junior prom.”
“Doesn’t matter; you’ll probably end up missing senior prom anyway. Molly Sue and I would love for you to join us stag.” Claire waved at Ellie as she stared off into the distance.
A tall boy with black hair in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt carrying an old, red motorcycle helmet walked into the classroom. He smiled at Ellie as he made his way past her desk to the back of the classroom.
“I wish Ryan would ask me. I found this really nice dress at the church charity shop. It’s white with a pink sash around the waist. Its skirt flows out into taffeta tiers. It’s got to be from the fifties. My orthodontist says he might even be able to take my braces off by then.”
“That white trash? You only like him because he looks like that JC fellow from the Mickey Mouse Club.”
“But JC’s so dreamy.” Ellie placed her chin on her hand and vaguely remembered JC singing a cover of Richard Marx’s “Now and Forever”. She thought to herself how much she wished she had taped that show. “Who the heck takes the Mickey Mouse Club off the air?”
Just as Ellie said that, their chemistry teacher Mr. Abel, a medium height man in his 50s wearing a green plaid shirt and a pair of grey slacks, walked into the classroom. “OK, class. Put your textbooks away. We’re having a pop quiz.” He handed a stack of papers to Ellie. “Pass the papers back. 40 questions, please be sure to show your work. Please write your name on the front. You have 1 hour.”

Ellie placed her textbook and binder into her backpack and wrote her name in her dainty, penciled handwriting.

Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
Ellie climbed over JC and got out of her father’s beaten Chevy truck. She straightened her white camisole and denim cut-offs. She walked around to the bed and got out the courier box she had addressed the morning before from the only one of JC’s duffle bags it would fit into. She walked up the path and stairs of the Mathersons’ Victorian-style home and lightly knocked on the front screen door.

Claire’s stepfather, Lewis, answered. “Evening, Miss Elizabeth.”
“Reverend, um, I’m just dropping off the dress and shoes I bought on behalf of Anna for Claire’s wedding. I was going to send it yesterday, but some things came up.”
Lewis spied the ring on Ellie’s finger as she wrestled with the box. “You should have told me you were engaged. Claire’s told us how smitten you are with this Josh fellow.” He took the box from Ellie. “Is that him in the truck with your pa?” Lewis put the box by the door.
“Um, yeah. Getting back to the dress, I left a note in the box with the receipt saying that you owe me $125.” She stepped to her left as Lewis, in his dark blue polo shirt and khaki slacks, passed her.
“John, you could have told me your Elizabeth was getting married,” Lewis called as he made his way down the walk to the truck. “I see that this is the lucky man.” Lewis extended his hand through the driver’s side door, offering his hand to JC in front of John’s face. “Reverend Lewis Matherson. Josh, I assume?”
“Joshua Chasez.” JC hesitantly shook Lewis’ hand. He saw Ellie walk to the car as she peered up at the windows on the second floor.
“Is that a Cajun surname? You don’t have the accent.”
“I’m from up near D.C.”
“I hope you’re not planning to have the wedding up there. I feel like Elizabeth is one of my own daughters. I would love to perform the ceremony.”
“Dammit, Lewis. She only said yes last night. Give them some time to breathe before you start making arrangements.” John huffed. “We need to get home to put the horses in.”
“I only wanted to meet the guy, John.” Lewis turned to Ellie and placed his hands on her forearms. “I’m glad things are finally turning out for the better for you. I hope you’ll join us in church tomorrow, Josh. I’ve noticed that Cajun names are usually Catholic by default.”
“I’m Mennonite,” JC remarked gruffly as he saw Ellie’s unease at Lewis’ touch. “We really must go. The horses must stick to their schedule.”
“Get in the truck, Ellie,” John called as he started the motor.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, Josh.” Lewis waved before he went back into the house.
“Holy shit, the man is about as friendly and appropriate as a two dollar whore,” John said as he waited for Ellie to climb back over JC’s lap.
“Daddy has never liked how friendly Lewis is,” Ellie explained as she settled in between the two men.
“He just makes my ass itch. Some folk deserve their privacy.”
“Daddy, he’s a man of the cloth. A lot of people trust him with with their business.”
“Well, I don’t trust him with mine. Not with that gossip for a wife.”
“Daddy, don’t speak of Miss Diana that way. Anyway, our problem ain’t Miss Diana finding out our business. It’s Miss Claire. Once she finds out that we’re engaged, she’s going to be madder than a cut snake.”

Monday, May 1st, 1995
Ellie walked up to Ryan as he put his Chemistry book into his locker. “Hey. Boy, that quiz was hard. How did you think you did?"
“Come on, Ellie. We both know you aced it.” Ryan slid his hand through his floppy black curls as he balanced his helmet on his knee. “That dress really brings out the blue in your eyes. I wish I had such pretty, cornflower blue eyes.”
“Thanks. Um, speaking of dresses. I was wondering if you had a date to prom?”
“Um, I don’t know how to say this…My girlfriend goes to the Catholic school up on the hill.”
“St Josephine’s?”
“Yeah. Well, you know how our school won’t let juniors take dates from other schools. I kinda decided that if I can’t bring her, then there’s no point in me going at all. Plus, I don’t think she’d be OK if I took another girl.”
Ellie’s heart sank. “Um, OK. I understand. I’ll see you in history tomorrow,” she said in a despaired tone as she back away from his locker. She waited until she knew he couldn’t see her, then she ran to the bathroom.

Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
Emily, in her usual cream riding pants and a light blue polo shirt, stepped onto the porch of the Argyle’s farm house, waving as her husband's battered red truck drove up the driveway. The Argyle’s home was three-story with light, blue sliding and an iron roof painted in a darker blue. A porch wrapped around the house and the top story was an attic converted into a bedroom for Ellie, a small project John had taken on the summer of 1990. Behind the house was a maze of white split rail fences enclosing horse pens and a large, dark green-roofed, wooden stable. Dotted throughout the property was various magnolia, elm, and willow trees, the largest of which was a gigantic willow tree sitting by the edge of a small creek that ran with the waters of the Mississippi flowing to the east of the property.

Ellie slipped out of the driver's side as John, dressed in a red plaid shirt and jeans, went to the tray to get the luggage. “Mama!” Ellie called as she ran into her mother’s arms.
“Baby.” Emily squeezed her daughter and kissed her forehead. Emily took Ellie’s hands and looked into her eyes. “Is it a ‘yes’?’’
“It’s a ‘yes,’ Mama.” Ellie nodded.
“Let me see that ring.” Emily turned over Ellie’s hand to inspect the seven pearls on her finger. “It’s beautiful. How did your father take the news?”
“He gave Josh a bear hug in the airport, lifted him right off the ground.” Ellie took her suitcase off her father. “Josh and I will go put our things into my bedroom.”
“I think not, sweetheart.” John passed Ellie her purse. “Josh will be staying in the guest bedroom.”
“Josh and I don’t have that kind of relationship.”
“It doesn’t matter. Your mother and I have spoken about it and we feel that it would be best if you slept in separate rooms.”
“I’m 27, not 14.”
“I’m OK in the guest bedroom.” JC, dressed in a greyish blue t-shirt and jeans, set a black suitcase on the porch. “It’s only for a few nights.”
“It’s bullshit. That’s what it is,” Ellie grumbled as she opened the front door and entered the house.

The front door was stained glass with a portrait of Ellie hung just inside to its left. “Oh my God, what is that?” JC exclaimed as he sat his luggage by the door, pointing to the portrait of Ellie in a short white dress with a pink sash.
“That’s my prom photo." Ellie thought for a moment. "I swear I still have the dress upstairs. I'll show you the guest room." Ellie took JC's hand and ran up the stairs.
"No funny business, you two," John called after them. He looked at the dismayed look on his wife's face. "It's only a test to see if he respects us."
"You can't keep lovers like that apart for long. I swear, if he doesn't invite himself into her bed by tomorrow morning, then she'll sneak into his."
John let out a defeated sigh. "Why are you always right?"
"’Cause I'm the smart one. She gets it from me."
John started to make his way through to the kitchen. "I'll start dinner."

Saturday, May 13th, 1995
Ellie sat on the bleachers watching the couples dance on the basketball court turned dance floor. She sighed as she rested her chin on her palm. Both Claire and Molly Sue, the most eligible single girls at prom, had been dancing all night with every boy who had the courage to ask. Always a wallflower, Ellie thought to herself. She felt someone sit down next to her.
"Hey." Miles Andrew Henderson III was the great-grandson of one of the Northerners who had come down from Delaware to build an empire in the fallen South after the Civil War. A timber heir, Miles, was a piece of shit who was known in the student body for having very little to no boundaries with the female gender, whilst having enough charm and fortune to get away with any wrongdoing, or at least his father did. He dressed with the style of a ‘90s version of a Victorian-era dandy, mostly sweaters, khakis and polo shirts, with his hair styled into a blond quiff. He shuffled a little closer to Ellie in his black tuxedo pants, white dinner jacket and wing tips.
"Oh, hey." Ellie smoothed down the mound of taffeta on her lap. "I guess we're the undesirables."
"Pity, we're the best dressed two here."
"With a bow tie that pink, we're almost matching."
Miles took her hand into his. "If I had know what you were wearing I would've asked you. I can't believe no one else did. You've gotten real pretty over the last year or so. You have such a pretty smile now you've got your braces off."
Ellie smiled in flattery and curled her fingers over his. It felt so nice to have a boy notice her. "Do you want to go to the movies next week or something?"
He edged his face close enough for her to smell his aftershave. "Sure."
She let out a small breath. "Are you going to kiss me now?" A split second after she asked, he pressed his lips to hers, her first kiss. She felt his fingers slide up the skirt of her dress, past her knees, and try to slip into the band of her panties. She ripped his arm from underneath her dress as she tried to close her legs even tighter than they already were. "Please don't do that."
"Most girls like having their pussies touched."
"What if a teacher sees us?" She hoped that the fear of authority would subside his advances.
"They're all watching the football team. No one's looking out for the good boys and girls like us. We could slip away and fuck and they wouldn't even notice."
"I don't want to," she whispered.
"You probably don't want to go back to being unnoticed and plain. A homely girl like you isn't going to go nowhere if she doesn't put out."

Ellie thought about what he said. She thought about how none of the boys had asked her out, how all the boys she liked always had girlfriends. She thought about Ryan, about where he was right now, about how the tall, brunette girl she had seen him around town with was probably sucking his cock in her parent's basement. She thought about how Claire's inherited gift for gossip had informed her that every girl who was somebody, every girl who loved was also conveniently also not a virgin. She gave in. "Let's get to know each other a little bit better."
"Of course."

The following Monday morning, Miles met her outside the front of school, kissing her lightly on the cheek to greet her. He was a complete gentleman, carrying her things and opening doors for her, holding her hand as they walked to class. Their union became the last major gossip item amongst the juniors before school broke out for the summer. Of course, Claire had spent much of that first week and following summer lecturing Ellie in an attempt to convince Ellie that Miles was a dirtbag, but Ellie never listened. It felt too good to have someone tell her she was beautiful, to have someone kiss her shoulder as she sat on his lap, to wait by the phone every night for his call. Miles had started to call her “Lizzie”, a lame attempt at a pet name, but she grew to love it nonetheless, just as she grew to love him.

They never made it to that movie that Saturday following prom. He had told her he wanted to show her a secret place of his, down by the river on the way there. He stopped the car and led her underneath a large willow tree. He took her virginity underneath that tree, at the same place he took all of the girls. Ellie was the only one naive enough, or the only one who enjoyed it enough, to call him the next day.

Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
"OK, you can open your eyes now."
JC lowered his hands and immediately started laughing at the sight of Ellie in her prom dress. "It's a fucking cupcake." He sat on the edge of her bed, a double bed with a white, wooden headboard with a rose carved into the centre. It was made with white sheets that matched every piece of furniture in the sky blue room. "Don't, you're gonna smother me." He playfully batted at the full taffeta skirt as she stepped closer to him.
She placed her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I wish you had taken me to prom. I wish we had grown up together and that we were highschool sweethearts."
"No, you don't. I would've found a way to fuck it up. My life was different back then, I was different. It's better now, everything's better now. I've changed. I've learned I can put someone else first, before me and my work."
"You don't need to do that."
He softly kissed her. "I want to." JC had been slipping little comments throughout the day, little promises that he wouldn't ruin their relationship the way he had ruined his others.

She brushed the hair by his temples. “Is this a good idea?”
“That dress, no.” He shook his head.
“I mean us getting engaged. What if it is too soon?”
“We’ll have to wait and see.”
“Can we just dissolve it until a more appropriate time?”
“Why? Then we’ll just look back and think that we shouldn’t have.” He pulled her a little closer to him, wrapping his arms around her hips.
“We don’t even know what kind of wedding we want.”
“We’ll figure that out whilst we have our excruciatingly long engagement.” He brushed the tip of his nose to hers, kissing her softly.
“I need you to promise me something,” Ellie whispered as her mother called them down to dinner. “I’ve been thinking about this long engagement thing. I’m all fine and good about it, but promise me we won’t go on further than five years.”
“OK, we’ll be married within five years.”
“Another thing.” She gently pulled on his shoulder as he started to get up to leave. “All of our children will be born into wedlock. If I fall pregnant during the engagement, then we have to get married as soon as possible.” She stepped back and started undoing the dress. “Tell Mama I’ll be down in a minute.” She stopped as she saw him waiting to watch her undress. “What? I’m not wearing this to dinner.”
“I know.”
“I only took my top off. You’re not going to see anything.”
“Well, excuse me. I’ve been banished to the guest bedroom. Whatever I see now is the most I’m probably going to see until the 6th.”
She pushed him to get off the bed and out of the room. “You get the fuck downstairs. We’ll find a way to work around it. Go.” She waved him off down the stairs just as her mother called out again.

Ellie sat at the kitchen table whilst Emily cleared the table. JC and John had gone into the living room to rest after the evening meal. "Mama, how long were you and Daddy dating before you got engaged?"
"We were together a year and seven months before your father proposed." Emily placed the stack of plates in the sink and turned the tap on.
"How long until you got married?" Ellie got up and went to help her mother with the washing-up.
"Three months."
"Why?"
"We didn't see the point in waiting." Emily handed Ellie a butter plate.
"You didn't think it was too soon?" Ellie wiped the suds off of the plate and set it in the drying rack.
"Well, I was an old maid by then."
"You were only 28."
"Times were different then. Most of the girls I went to school with had three children by that age." Emily handed Ellie a stack of cutlery.
"How did you know Daddy loved you?"
"I don't know. He told me he did, and I believed him." Emily unplugged the sink and wiped her hands on a dish towel.
"You never doubted him?"
"Never occurred to me that he was capable of lying about something like that."
"What drew you to him in the first place?"
Emily leaned back on the sink. "He always looked rather sexy in his uniform."
"Mama!" Ellie exclaimed. She laid the last of the washing-up by the sink on the drying rack. She lowered her voice. "Do you think this is a good idea, Josh and I getting engaged so soon?"
"I'm not really sure, baby. I don't know him like you do. I can only trust him because you do."
"Am I making the right decision?" Ellie brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, looking at her mother with a confused face.
"I don't know. You need to figure that one out yourself."

Monday, July 17th 2000
Ellie turned the dial on the radio of her father’s truck. She had returned home from her summer internship at Clefnotes to the news that Miles had been sleeping with a file clerk he had been working with. She sat across from the Louisiana State Capitol building in the hot afternoon sun burning at a temperature only slightly below Ellie’s own anger.

She had met her breaking point. She had excused the earliest rumours, she had forgiven him every time he said he wouldn’t do it again after being caught. She had even conveniently forgotten that she had seen her engagement ring on sale for $75 at Walmart not a week after he had given it to her. She had put it at the back of her mind as she paid the cashier for her new watch battery, rationalising that it might be a knock-off, but she always knew it wasn’t. She was done, not even their engagement had stopped him. If he wouldn’t stop now, he never would. She couldn’t change him, only accept that she didn’t want to be treated this way again.

She tuned the radio into a pop station to the sound of strings. A male voice started singing to her as the clock turned 5:13pm. “I’m doing this tonight. You’re probably gonna start a fight. I know this can’t be right, hey baby, come on. I loved you endlessly, when you weren’t there for me. So now it’s time to leave and make it alone.” She closed her eyes as the lyrics echoed her thoughts, her anger only burning more intensely. She recognised the voice, but she couldn’t quite place it. Her eyes snapped open as a second, rougher voice started singing. “I know that I can’t take no more. It ain’t no lie. I wanna see you out that—“ She turned the car off as she saw Miles walk down the steps to the State Capitol building. She yelled the first thought that came to her head.

“WALMART?! YOU BOUGHT MY FUCKING ENGAGEMENT RING AT FUCKING WALMART?! YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH HALF OF THE FEMALE POPULATION AND I’M ONLY WORTH FUCKING SEVENTY FIVE DOLLARS TO YOU?!”
“Lizzie, baby, you’re making a scene.” Miles stopped in his tracks as she ran towards him, wearing a yellow sundress. He adjusted the suit jacket on his arm. “It isn’t good behaviour.”
She pushed his chest. “DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT’S GOOD BEHAVIOUR!”
“Calm down.”
“NO, I TRUSTED YOU! I BELIEVED YOU! I LOVED YOU! YOU BROKE MY HEART!” Ellie sputtered into tears. “I thought you loved me.”
“Lizzie, I do.” He reached out to her.
She pulled her arm away. “Then why do you keep doing it?”
“I don’t know. I thought maybe I would change, for you.”
She knew he was lying, playing a well used line. She took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s best if you’re not in a relationship. Stay away from my family.” She turned to walk back to the truck.
“Can I at least have the ring back?” he called just as she opened the rusted door.
“NO! IT WAS A FUCKING GIFT, YOU CUNT!”

Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
JC extended his hand to Ellie, helping her get out of the backseat of her grandfather James’s clucky, grey Volvo sedan. They straightened their clothes, him in a white, long-sleeved shirt over charcoal trousers and her in a white sundress with a yellow pattern of white roses printed into the cotton. They stood outside the First Presbyterian Church on the corner of Mitchell Street and Sherman Avenue, awaiting that morning’s service.
Ellie waved as her grandmother Rosemary pushed her great-grandmother Eliza’s wheelchair towards them. “Hey.” Ellie leaned in to greet her grandmother before she bent down to greet Eliza. “Are you feeling good today?”
Eliza extended a hand out to JC. “I’m feeling a lot better after seeing this fine sailor.”
“Mama.” Rosemary bent down to correct her mother. “Josh here is a musician. He’s never been in the navy. He’s from that group you like, *NSYNC.”
“I know, I know. I just think he looks like a sweetheart of mine, a young sailor down in New Orleans. Did you know I was a dancer in a jazz joint in the ‘20s? If you slip me a fiver, I’ll show you a good time.”
“That’s very nice, Mama.” She leaned in to apologise. “I swear, she’s gone senile in her old age. She’s never left Baton Rouge and she was never a stripper…or a prostitute for that matter. She got married at 16 and had my eldest brother a year later in 1923.”
"Why is she drunk at 10 in the morning?”
“You can smell it?”
“From a mile away.”

Over the next few minutes, JC was introduced to John’s mother, Jean, as she arrived with John and Emily. The conversation turned to tomorrow’s barbecue as Ellie was greeted by the occasional former school mate or a fan or two asking for JC’s autograph. Just as the progression started to fill the church, something caught Ellie’s eye. Though an over-the-top sun hat wasn’t a foreign concept to a southern church, the wife of a former beau in the most over-the-top headwear in a classless get-up trotting down the path was a sight to be seen. Ellie paused as she saw Molly Sue Henderson, née Clements, turn to beckon her husband to catch up, a slight baby bump showing. Ellie felt JC’s arm reach around her.

“Who is she?” he whispered.
“Miles’s wife,” she answered as she saw the flash of sunlight reflect off the gigantic diamond on Molly Sue’s ring finger.
Molly Sue waved as she saw her old school chum. “Ellie,” she drawled. “It’s so nice to have you back home. Are you staying long?”
Ellie took a step back, trying to distance herself as far away from Miles as he caught up to his wife. “Lizzie, have you finally given up in New York and come home? We sure have missed you.”
“I see you two have been busy,” Ellie stated in a pointed tone.
Miles placed his hand on his wife’s midsection. “Oh, yes. Miles Jr.—”
“Or Miley,” Molly interjected.
“Or Miley. It’s far too soon to know the gender.”
“Miles is desperate for a son, but I’d just love a little girl. I just can’t wait to get her started in pageants.” Molly bent the rim of her hat to take a good look at JC’s face. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
JC extended his hand out to Miles. “I’m JC.”
“His cock is bigger than yours,” Ellie stated in a dry manner. She felt JC suddenly pull her into the church.
“Why the fuck did you say that?” JC whispered as he led her to the pew her family was sitting in.
“What, it’s true. It just came out.”
“This is a house of God. You don’t say shit like that here.”
“You have a very weird sense of appropriateness.”
“Sit the fuck down.” He gently motioned her beside her mother as he sat in between her and her grandfather. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“Josh, manners,” James reminded him.
JC sighed. “Ellie, what’s wrong?”
“Molly Sue was my second best friend. They got married last year. I didn’t think such a piece of…dog poop would still attend church.” They watched as the service started, the organist playing a soft tune as the Mathersons entered the chapel through a side door, Claire, Diana and Anna taking a seat in the front pew, Derek waving as he saw Ellie and JC.
“I thought you were over him,” JC whispered.
“I don’t know.” Ellie smoothed down the skirt of her dress.
“Fuck,” JC said under his breath.
“Language,” interjected James for a second time.

After an hour or so, Ellie discreetly pulled a handkerchief from her purse and dabbed the sweat off her forehead. She gently sighed as Lewis was finally wrapping up the service.
“On a final note, I have some community announcements. I’m very happy to announce that the June church bake sale raised $570 for our back to school program. My lovely wife Diana will be organising this month’s sale. The proceeds from both this month’s and last month’s sales will go to buying school supplies for underprivileged children. I’m also happy to announce that Clive and Jeanette Kelly are celebrating their 43rd wedding anniversary this week. On a similar note, I’m also happy to announce that John and Emily Argyle’s daughter, Elizabeth, has returned home for the holiday with news of her engagement to…let me see if I can remember this correctly…Joshua Sha-shay.” With Lewis’s announcement, Claire slowly rotated her head to stare at Ellie, her lips pursed and eyes squinted in fury.
Ellie sighed in dread. “And she knows.”

Ellie paced up and down the front porch, waiting for Claire to barrel in with her lecture.
"Stop pacing. The more you keep doing that, the more nervous I become." JC cracked open a peanut shell, throwing away the casing onto the front lawn.
Ellie bit her thumb nail. "I don't know how you can eat at a time like this. You know how scary she can get."
"What's the worst she can say?"
Ellie sat down next to him. "She's been my best friend since I was 5. I need her approval nearly as much as I need my parents'."
"Really, now?" He brushed the debris off his hands and trousers as a red late ‘90s hatchback drove up the driveway, stopping suddenly in the middle of the front lawn.
Claire hastily got out of the car, slamming the door, her apricot-coloured twin-set and grey skirt wrinkled in anger. “142 DAYS, ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FUCKING TWO DAYS!” Claire bellowed as a strand of hair fell on her face, a stark contrast to the neat French knot from an hour ago. “I’VE HAD FUCKING STOMACH ACHES THAT HAVE LASTED LONGER THAN THAT!”
Ellie sat in silence, unable to answer as she felt JC take her hand.
“We know perfectly well how long it’s been.”
“Don’t touch her!” Claire came towards them, stepping back as JC stood up off the porch.
“Don’t tell me not to touch my fiancée. She doesn't belong to you.”
“She doesn’t belong to you, either. You don’t even know her.”
“Can you two please stop it?” Ellie clenched her teeth, pressing the heels of her hands into the floorboards in frustration.
“Excuse me?” Claire addressed Ellie, pointing at her chest. “I haven’t even been gone a month without you making a stupid decision like this. It’s too early to be thinking of marriage.”
Ellie let out a long grunt. “We’re well aware of the timeframe, for fuck’s sake.”
“Then why are you doing it?”
Ellie rose to her feet. “Because it feels right.”
Claire rolled her eyes. “Really?”
“Yes, we love each other.”
“You don’t know what love is.” The words came out of Claire’s mouth with harsh intent. She had been holding them back for some time and took slight joy in seeing Ellie’s shock as they were said. She firmly repeated them, “You don’t know what love is.”
Ellie froze in anger.

“Leave.”
“What?” Claire turned to JC as he pointed up the driveway.
“Fucking go. We don’t want you here if you’re going to act like this.”
“This isn’t your house. You can’t tell me what to do.”
Emily opened the door and emerged from the spot she was watching the scene from. “Leave.”
“Miss Emily.” Claire changed to a more polite tone. “Good afternoon.”
“Mrs. Argyle,” Emily corrected her. “Leave my house. You’re not welcome here if all you’re going to do is insult my family.”
“I wasn’t meaning to cause any trouble, ma’am.” Claire straightened her hair, pushing the fallen strand behind her ear.
“You’re just as two-faced as your mother. Don’t come back until you can treat my daughter with respect.”
Claire slowly backed away, opening her car door. “I’m very sorry.” She drove away, leaving a trail of dust.
“Trash is as trash does,” Emily muttered as she went back into the house, only turning back at the last minute. “Can I get you two anything?”
“Thank you, but I need some time alone, Mama.”
“OK, baby. Josh?”
“I’ll be in in a minute.” JC reached out for Ellie, taking her into his arms as she came closer to him.
“Fucking bitch.” Ellie clung to his shirt. “I wish she would stop treating me like a child.”

Just before sunset, JC finally was given the opportunity to find Ellie. She had been missing in action for a few hours, thus JC was put on scullery duty with Emily peeling vegetables and assisting with as much of the food as Jean and Rosemary trusted him with.
He walked towards the setting sun, over to the pool in the creek by the giant willow tree. There he met John and James fishing. “Hey, catch anything?”
“Nah, nothing but bait.” John had taken off the light blue shirt he had worn to church and was wearing an aged, white undershirt smeared with marinade.
“Has Jean finally let you out of the kitchen?” James reeled back his fishing line, squatting in his blue shirt and khakis to apply bait to his hook before he re-casted.
“Actually, I’m trying to find Ellie. I noticed her walk over in this direction a few hours ago.”
“She’s up there.” John motioned to the willow tree. “There’s an old tree house at the top. I would go up to get her myself, but the knees ain’t what they used to be.”

JC went underneath the leaves, looking up at the canopy to figure a way up to the platform at the top. He scaled the trunk, lifting himself up to the few planks of wood secured at the fork of the branches. ‘Hey.”
“Hey.” Ellie gave a small smile as he sat to a 90 degree angle of her.
“Do you think it’s safe to be up here?”
“Maybe, I wouldn’t stay up here too long though.”
“How old is this thing?”
“My great-granddad built for my father when he was a boy, so 60 odd years or so. I used to come up here when I was a kid, pretend it was a tall ship returning to England from Virginia.” Ellie returned to making the woven crown she was making out of the willow leaves. “They’ve been talking about us, you know, Daddy and Pa. They’ve been trying to figure out why we got engaged so early. Pa, being as old-fashioned as he is, thinks I’m pregnant. He thinks we’ll announce after the wedding. He thinks I’ll give birth to a 9 pounder born at 32 weeks or something. Daddy doesn’t think that. He thinks that maybe we’re just one of those couples that sees no point in waiting.” She picked the leaves off of a stem and threw them to the ground behind her. “I asked Mama last night if it was a bad idea. She says that she doesn’t know. She says that I have to figure it out myself. Pity Claire doesn’t feel that way.” Ellie crawled over the platform and rested her head in JC's lap. "It was really fucking shitty of her to say that I didn't know what love was."
JC softly ran his fingers through Ellie's hair. He murmured in agreement.
"I mean, where does she get off? She's been there with me during my biggest heartbreaks...ugh. I just can't believe her sometimes."
"Isn't she just looking out for you?"

Ellie sat up to look him directly in the eye. "What?"
"I agree that she's going about it the wrong way, but she’s only doing it because of how much she cares about you."
"You can't be serious."
"Do you know the opinion most of the people I know are going to have? 'She pushed him into it so she could get his money.' Everyone I know doesn't care about my feelings. They think I can handle loss at that level. Everyone's more concerned with my bank account. At least your loved ones still care about your feelings."
"That's it, it's off." Ellie moved over near the ledge to get down. "I'm calling the engagement off. If everyone's going to think the worse of us, there's no point in doing it."
He grabbed her hand. "Please don't."
She looked back at him. "Why? Everyone's going to think that I'm a gold digger and you're an asshole."
"Then they can think that if they want. It's not our fault they feel that way."
"Well I don't agree with you." She brushed his hand away.
"If you're too concerned with how others think about you--"
She cut him off. "What if I am too concerned? Everyone should be happy for us."
"It shouldn't matter what anyone thinks, it should be how we feel." He watched as she started to make her way down. "Wait, let me get down first."

He climbed down, then jumped the rest of the way when he knew he wouldn't injury himself. "You can come down now." She climbed down far enough for him to help her the rest of the way. She turned around to face him. "I just want everyone to be happy for us."
He pressed her against the trunk as he kissed her. "I want us to be happy again. We're more affectionate when we're happy."
"I can't be happy if so many people are upset with me."
“You need to learn how to get along with just how you feel because you're now in a situation where you're never going to be able to convince everyone to side with you.” He slowly lifted her chin so she was looking at his face. “You also need to find the conviction to stand by what you feel, ‘cause there are going to be so many people who are either going to want you to change your mind or are going to contradict you.”
She started to tear up. “I’m not ready for this.”
“You’ll never truly be ready.” He wiped her cheek. “But no matter what anyone else thinks, I’ll always love you.”

The silence was deafening. JC laid awake, unable to sleep in the complete stillness. He stared up at the ceiling, chewing a fingernail as he listened out for the occasional goods train passing on the track or the braying of one of the horses. Completely unexpectedly, he heard creaking throughout the house, his chest tightening as the sound moved along the stairs and floorboards, holding his breath as the creaking stopped at his door.
"Baby?" Ellie opened the door, seeing if he was awake.
"Fuck!" He jolted up, turning over to his side.
"Shhh!.. You'll wake my parents." Ellie crept over to the bed, climbing over him to take up the space nearest to the window.

He gently pulled her t-shirt so she would be closer to him. "I'm thinking of maybe going back to Orlando for a few days to smooth things over with my folks."
"But I need to be back at work by the sixth, the seventh at the very latest. You know we're going to print on the fifteenth of this month."
"I know. I was kind of hoping that you'd be OK with flying back into New York alone whilst I fly back to Orlando. It's only for a day or two. I'll be back by the seventh." He lightly brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
"But I'll miss you." She placed her hand on his neck, softly brushing her lips against his.
"I know. I'll miss you, too. But, I really need to sit down with them and fix this."
"OK." She ran her thumb along his bottom lip. "Is there anything you'd like me to do?"
"Sing me to sleep."

Ellie cleared her throat and started singing in a jokingly flat tone, "Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top--"
"No, something else," he whispered as he intertwined his fingers with hers, brushing her leg with his toes.
Softly, in a sweeter tone, she sang, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."
He took in a long inhale. "Very nice, another one."
"What?"
"I don't know. Whatever's at the top of your head."
Ellie stopped and thought for a moment. She started singing, barely audible at first, "Whenever I'm weary, from the battles that raged in my head. You make sense of madness, when my sanity hangs by a thread. I lose my way but still you seem to understand. Now and forever..." She trailed off, knowing he had drifted off. She was gone when he awoke.

Monday, July 4th, 2005
JC peeked out of the guest bedroom door, trying to see if the landing in between the guest bedroom, the bathroom and the master bedroom was clear. He heard footsteps downstairs. He quickly took the chance and rushed into the bathroom in only a pair of black briefs, hoping to God nobody saw him. As quickly as he shut the door, Ellie unexpectedly slipped into the room.
"Morning." She locked the door behind her, never taking her eyes off him.
He scoffed. "How long were you waiting to pounce?"
"How long were you planning on sleeping in? Everyone's been up since dawn."
"I had a hard time getting to sleep last night." He pulled the chain on the cistern, watching to see if it flushed correctly.
"I'm aware of that."
"What are you doing in here?" He turned on the faucet and washed his hands.
"I was thinking, since it's a farm, maybe we could shower together to conserve water. Water conservation in rural areas is very important."
"What the fuck are you going on about, Ellie?"

She revealed her intentions. "I know for a matter of fact that the plumbing in this house is so loud that there's no way anyone would be able to hear us fucking."
"Remember a little while back when you gave me so much shit for wanting sex all the time?" He paused as she took the blue and white t-shirt she was wearing off, leaving her in only a pair of white lace panties with pink polka dots. "Jesus Christ," he whispered as she turned around and leaned forward, turning the shower on.
She stepped closer to him. She ran her fingertips down his abdomen, her bare breasts lightly touching his chest. "I just can't help myself. It feels like it's been ages since we made love. You haven't even kissed me this morning."

He watched her face as she stood just below his. She gazed up at him, her lips slightly parted as she softly breathed in and out in anticipation. She softly bit her lip. He pressed his lips to hers, feeling her tongue flick up against his as she slipped her fingers into the front of his briefs, lightly touching the shaft of his penis.

"Get in the tub." He growled, pulling on her waistband as she started taking her panties off. "No. I want to help you." He stepped out of his underwear and watched her as the water flowed over her body. He stepped in and guided her towards the wall. He got down on his knees and slowly slid her panties down her legs.
"Is that all you're doing down there?" She ran her fingers through his hair. He gently gestured for her to widen her legs before he hoisted her left leg over his shoulder. She turned his head up towards her. "I want to see your eyes."

He looked up at her, inching his face closer to her. He closed his eyes before he kissed her, using his fingers to open her wider. She let out a groan as he ran his tongue along her pussy. He grasped her thighs as he gently teased her.
She arched her back, whimpering as she tried to clench the tiles. “Baby, no. I want to come with you inside me.” She slid her hand underneath his chin, beckoning him to stand up. She followed the hair down his abdomen, the water flowing over her fingertips.
He kissed her. “How do you want to do this?”
“I don’t know.”

He turned her around and lifted her closer to him as he slowly pushed himself into her. He slowly started to thrust as she took his hand and placed it underneath her, asking him to finish making her come. He lightly bit her shoulder. She let out a quiet moan, whispering, "A little faster, baby." She leaned further into the wall, gasping as she came. He brought himself closer to her, touching his chest to her back, kissing her earlobe. He pressed her as close to him as he could as he delivered his final thrusts, withdrawing from her as he came.
"Why are you bleeding?"
"Shit, I thought we would have more time." She turned to face him. "Yay, I'm not pregnant."
"You could have told me. I just...ew."
She shushed him. "Shh, shower sex. I'll deal with everything. It'll be fine."

Ellie bounced down the stairs just before noon. She was taken aback as she met Claire face to face in the kitchen. “Oh, hey.”
Claire was wearing a pure white, sleeveless, cotton sundress with her hair tied back in a French twist, a string of her grandmother’s pearls around her neck. “Elizabeth,” she addressed Ellie in the formal tone she always used after they had had a disagreement. “Just got out of the shower, I see.” She gestured to Ellie’s wet hair, French braided on both sides and tied into a low bun. “I’m surprised you're wearing blue. I would think you would wear something a little more feminine to celebrate your engagement.”
Ellie looked down at the blue and grey striped tank top she was wearing with denim shorts. “I’m not really in a position to wear white today. You know, don’t want to get any hard-to-get-out stains today.” She straightened her top. “Anyway, I’m not really in bridal mode yet. You on the other hand, are you going to another bridal shower today?”
Claire eyes followed JC as he entered the kitchen in a black v-neck and khaki shorts. Claire took note of his wet hair. “It’s always nice to dress like a lady. At community events like this, it’s important that I set a good example, for the parish and my family…unlike some people.”
Ellie rolled her eyes. “Cut the shit, Claire.”
“Excuse me?”
“Drop the southern belle crap. I know your mother’s forcing you into ‘Antebellum Barbie’ mode at public events now that you're in bridal mode, but you don’t have to talk to me like a finishing school student just because you're angry at me.”  
“I’m not angry at you.”
“Josh, can Claire and I have some privacy, please? Derek’s probably out back.” Ellie waved him away.
“Are you sure?” JC was cut of by Claire.
“We’ll be fine.”

The two women watched as they were left alone. Ellie curled her tongue in thought. “So…What’s up your butt?”
Claire cleared her throat. “Were you two just in the shower together?”
“Oh my God! Does nothing get passed you?”
“You both have wet hair.” Claire slowly paced across the room. “You didn’t even tell me.”
“It came up suddenly. I didn’t even see it coming. He just flat out asked me last Friday morning. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you wouldn’t like it being so soon. I know how you like to wait these things out. I didn’t really count on Lewis guessing or announcing it.”
“If you know it’s too soon, why did you accept?”
Ellie took a seat at the kitchen table. “I love him. I want to marry him.”
Claire sat opposite of her at the table. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. The only thing I’m really second guessing is having such a public engagement.”
“What?”
“Nothing, really. Well…not really. His parents aren’t too happy either. He says a lot of people might not be. It’s something we’ve been going back and forth on the last few days.” Ellie twisted her engagement ring around her finger. “I’m thinking that maybe elopement isn’t such a bad idea.”
“If you elope, I am going to kill both of you. I fucking mean it.” Claire reached across the table. “Let me see that ring.”

Ellie offered her hand to Claire. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
Claire turned Ellie’s hand over in hers. “Yeah, you always wanted a pearl engagement ring, like your grandma.”
“Yeah, I didn’t even tell him. He just got it on his own. He said he didn’t think I would like a big diamond. Have you seen the upgrades to Molly Sue’s ring?”
“I fucking know. He must have gotten her at least another carat.” Claire leaned in a little closer. “Supposedly, she caught him in bed with his ‘secretary.’”
“I didn’t know coffee gophers got secretaries.” Ellie placed a hand on her chest. “My, what a world we now live in.”

Ellie walked over to the table where JC, Derek and her father were sitting. "Hey." She wrapped her arms around JC's neck and kissed his cheek.
JC wrapped his fingers around hers. "Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm OK. We just needed to talk some things over. I mean, she probably still thinks we're rushing into things, but she's slowly coming around."
"Actually, I think she's a little more upset that you told Lewis before you told her than anything else." Derek ran his finger around the rim of his cup. "I'm so sorry I haven't gotten the chance to congratulate the two of you. Craig must be thrilled."
"He doesn't know yet. We're keeping it on the down low for a while," Ellie explained. "I kinda want to see how long Maurice and Craig take to find out. You know how much they love trying to figure out secrets."
"I'm sure I'll be able to hear the screaming from down here when they find out." Derek leaned his head on his elbow to face John. "You must be happy that Ellie's finally found the right boy."
John looked up from his plate of potato salad. "Eh, if she's happy, I'm happy."
"You're OK with it?"
"Well, Josh, what does your father think?"
"He thinks it's too soon, that it's a mistake and Ellie's probably out to get my money."
"Firstly, I know my daughter and she's nothing like that. Secondly, what if it isn't? What if God wants you to get engaged now. I mean, it wouldn't have happened if he didn't want it that way. If he doesn't want you to get married, he'll find a way to stop you. Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to."
"You don't honestly believe that?" Ellie sat down next to JC. "Oh, did you see the cake my grandmother Jean made? It's the same red, white and blue cake she makes every year, but instead of it being a sheet cake, it's a love heart with 'Elizabeth & Joshua' written in red and blue frosting."
"I know someone who would think that's the most darling thing on this earth."
"Lance?"
"Justin, actually."