"Where is everyone?" Rachel asked the next morning seeing her mother sitting on the couch. The TV was turned low on The Today Show and she had a book in her lap.

"Took the kids up to Geyser Falls," Diane turned the book over on her lap.

"But..." she looked at the watch her wrist, seeing it was almost 10. "Why didn't anyone wake me?"

"We weren't sure how you'd be today. Stacy and Lance decided take the kids up there for the day. That way if you needed the day to yourself you wouldn't have to worry about Kenzi."

"Are you guys gonna treat me like glass now?" Rachel asked.

"No," Diane shook her head. "Last night was rough on you. Rough for all of us. We just wanted to make sure you were okay. That you could work out everything that's on your mind."

"Maybe I just wanted to spend time with my family and have fun and not think about it." Rachel snapped.

"Then we can gather what we need and get on the road. We'll be there by noon." Diane said calmly, not rising to the bait. If her daughter wanted to pick a fight, she wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

"I've ruined the family vacation," Rachel sighed, falling into the recliner.

"No you haven't. The kids were bouncing off the walls this morning when I was on the phone with Stacy. Lance took donuts over for breakfast. I don't know who was riding with who, but I imagine there was a lot of Tylenol being passed around."

"You didn't sleep last night." It wasn't a question. Rachel could see the dark circles under her mother's eyes. It had been years since she'd seen them. When she had first moved back home after, there had been a lot of mornings where she'd find her mother in the kitchen pouring another cup of coffee, make up covering the circles before she left for work.

"No." Diane answered truthfully. "But you can't expect us to just bounce back this morning like nothing happened. You need to give us time to work through it."

"I've had 14 years and I don't think I've worked through it," Rachel mumbled.

"Maybe now you finally can," Diane said softly. "You've finally opened up and told someone. Maybe now you can start healing."

"You think it's that easy?"

Diane shrugged, a small frown on her lips. "I don't know baby. I don't have the answers when it comes to healing after something like this. I wished I did. I just know that you no longer have to keep this all inside of you. You can talk to any one of us. Not holding it in is going to help you a lot."

"I don't know if I want to talk about it. I had nightmares last night. I hadn't had them in years."

"Oh sweetie, I wish you would have came to me."

"I used to have them all the time. Then they came a little less and a little less. Then finally they stopped. I'm afraid it's gonna be like the beginning all over it. I feel like it just happened. Like 14 years hasn't passed. That it was just yesterday."

"Rachel," Diane's heart broke at her daughter's words. She put the book on the coffee table and reached out. From her position on the couch, she could just barely reach her daughter's knee.

"It's not your fault, Mom," she wiped away a tear from her eye with her fingers. "I should have told you guys a long time ago. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was so scared... I didn't want to ruin Lance's career."

"No career is worth your pain. Lance will be the first to tell you that."

"What about his dreams?"

"What about your dreams?" Diane countered. "You sacrificed your dreams for him. For them."

"How am I supposed to tell JC?"

Diane caught how her daughter associated her dreams with JC. Her heart hurt thinking about what could have been if things had been different. "It's gonna be hard telling him, I won't lie to you." She squeezed her daughter's knee.

"I don't know if I can..." she whispered. She meet her mother's gaze, made blurry by the tears. "We just found each other again and now... now this. My phone is filled with text messages from him, missed calls, and voicemails. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know if I can talk to him."

"You need to talk to him," Diane said. "Trust me on this. You don't want to keep it from him. How are you gonna be able to keep it a secret once you tell Kenzi? You're not going to be able to control it. I know this is hard Rachel, but you don't want to start a relationship holding secrets. You need to be honest with him.

"I don't want this to change how he sees me."

"Rachel," Diane stood up from the couch and moved to crouch in front of her daughter. "From what you've told me, from what I've seen in the photos on Facebook, from what Lance has said, that man loves you. This will not change his feelings for you. If it does, then he wasn't the man you thought he was and it's better to find out now than years down the road."

"I'm so scared." Rachel clutched her mother's hands.

"I know Sweetie. I wish I could take this on for you. I wish I could take all the hurt away. I wish I could put that smile back on your face that you had when you first got here. You can do this," Diane said firmly. "Look at what you did on your own? You raised a beautiful, smart, respectful daughter with a good head on her shoulders. You have 28 books of a best selling series out in the market. You provided how many original pieces for a major hotel in downtown Los Angeles? You overcame what happened to you and won."

"I don't feel like I won."

"I know, but you did. It may not feel like it right now, but you did Sweetie and I am so proud of you. We are all so proud of you."

Diane stood up slowly, her bones protesting. Rachel followed up and drew her into hug. Diane hugged Rachel tightly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mom."

*~*

JC was growing frustrated as the hours passed and he had yet to hear from Rachel. Not even a text had come through from her. There was nothing. Lance wasn't much help. He'd only been able to tell him that he couldn't say anything that it had to come from Rachel. He wanted to jump on a flight to Mississippi but at this point he wasn't sure if he'd even be welcome.

McKenzie was still talking to him. He had that going for him at the moment. It had been tough, but he refrained from asking intruding questions about Rachel. He wasn't going to go through her daughter to find out the answers he so desperately wanted. McKenzie had told him last night she was with Leighton because the adults were having a meeting. He remembered Kenzi telling him she hoped they were trying to decide where they were going on vacation.

The messages he'd received this morning had been different. McKenzie told him they were all going to a water park a couple hours away. Rachel and Diane weren't going. That had McKenzie worried. He couldn't help her because he didn't know what was going on. He wished he was needed at the studio today, then he could put this in the back of his mind and concentrate on something else. There was nothing going on today. He was left with a silent phone, a million questions, and a wandering mind. It was a bad combination.

Maybe he was moving too fast and he had scared her. He wasn't sure how it was possible. This had been the slowest he had ever moved with a woman. The relationship was 15 years in the making. They were moving so slow they were practically standing still. Maybe he should have withheld his feelings; not have played his hand so soon. He hadn't come out and actually told her he loved her, but he had dropped many hints. No one had ever invoked the feelings that Rachel did.

From the very beginning she brought these feelings to him and he had wished he had recognized them for what they were back then. JC never really believed in soulmates or ‘the one'. He figured it was just talk to sell books and movies. Rachel was, without a doubt, his ‘one'. The way he felt for her eclipsed any feelings he had felt for any woman he had ever dated. No one else came close.

Now she was ignoring him. She was halfway across the country and he couldn't do a thing about it. He was stuck where he was - sitting in his house staring at his phone, begging it to ring. He could feel her slipping through his fingers again. There was no way he could let that happen. Not again. Not after he knew how good it could be with her.

JC was torn between waiting Rachel out and going to Mississippi. He didn't want to push her into something she didn't want to do. On the other hand, he didn't want her to torpedo their relationship before it had barely gotten off the ground. If he stayed in LA, he could be giving off signals that he didn't care and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Deciding that he needed to do something, JC took the stairs two at a time and went into his bedroom. He pulled a duffle bag from his closet and began packing enough clothes for a couple days in Mississippi. He would rather go down fighting. With his bag packed, he sat on his bed with his iPad and started searching for flights. Before he could finalize the purchase of a flight leaving in three hours, his phone rang from its spot next to him on the bed. Glancing at it, he saw Rachel's name on the screen. He put the iPad to the side and picked up his phone. Taking a deep breath, he tapped the accept button.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Rachel's voice was soft in his ear. Even with the one word, he could hear the hesitation over the line. He forced himself to relax.

"Hey you. How's Mississippi?"

"Good." Rachel fell silent. She sat outside beneath the maple tree. Her mother had offered to sit with her while she talked to JC, but Rachel refused. It was gonna be hard enough as it was. She didn't want her mother to have to sit through it all over again. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her free arm around them, resting her forehead on her knee. "Is this a good time? Are you at the studio?"

"No, I wasn't needed today." Silence fell over the line again and JC clenched his hand tightly into a fist, releasing it only when he felt his fingernails dig into his palm. There had never been a moment in their entire relationship from when he first met her until now that they had a problem talking. Conversation was never an issue with them. He opened his mouth, but Rachel cut him off.

"I'm sorry I was ignoring you." Rachel said softly. She lifted her head and ran her fingers through her hair. "I didn't mean to... I mean I did... I just... I didn't know what to say to you."

JC sighed. "What's going on Rachel? Do you need me to come there? Just tell me and I'll be right there. I was about ready to head to the airport to fly there."

"You were?" Rachel asked surprised. A lump rose in her throat. Tears welled in her eyes and she tried breathing through her mouth to ward them off.

"You have me all twisted up," he said honestly. "Something is going on. You're shutting me out and I can't understand why."

"I'm sorry JC." She wiped at her eyes with her fingers.

"Just tell me what's going on?" JC pleaded, feeling as if a fist was clenching his heart. "If you need me there, just say the word and I'll be there."

It was on the tip of her tongue to beg for him to come to Mississippi, but she was able to bite it back. If this didn't turn out as she hoped, she knew she wouldn't want to see him. They could end their relationship over the phone. The pain would be easier to deal with that way than having to look him in the face.

"There's a couple things that I need to tell you," Rachel began. "I'm just now sure how..."

"Take your time," JC said softly. He dropped a leg off the side of the bed, his foot catching the frame. With his elbow resting on his thigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just... just don't shut me out, okay?"

"Stacy informed me that Kenzi has been going behind my back searching for her father."

There were a lot of scenarios going through his mind from the moment Rachel had disappeared yesterday, but that hadn't been one of them. Most of the scenarios he imagined had to do with him. Maybe that had been pompous of him.

"Oh..." JC didn't know what to say. McKenzie's father had always been in the back of his head from the moment he had found out Rachel was pregnant. It was something he wanted to know, but he knew he could never bring the topic up. Not at this point in their relationship.

"She seems to think that it's you."

JC's mind blanked. "What? Wait... what?" His brain was struggling to comprehend what Rachel said. McKenzie thought he was her father? How had she come to that conclusion?

"I haven't spoken with her yet, so please don't mention it if you do."

"No-no I won't. But Rachel... how did she come up with me being her father?" He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't understand. There's no way I am her father." Not that he hadn't wished it.

"I know JC," Rachel said softly. "I'm not sure exactly how she came up with it. Stacy only knew what Leighton knew. Old photographs of us, old stories. She went through some of the boxes in the attic and found my sketchbooks...your blood type."

"My blood type?" He squeaked. He wanted press about the sketchbooks that Rachel had, but his blood type caught him. "She didn't need my blood type for science homework?"

Rachel shook her head, even though JC couldn't see her. "She was comparing it against hers."

JC blew out a breath. "Wow... I don't... I don't know what to say."

"According to Leighton, she's getting ready to tell you."

"Oh wow," JC said. He had no idea how he would have reacted if McKenzie had brought this up. For one he would have been completely blind sided. He thought about the last two weeks he had spent with the teenager and he felt an ache in his heart. "Is that why she's latched on to me? Talking to me, inviting me to her activities... not caring that we're seeing each other... is it because she thinks I'm her father?" What would happen to their relationship once she learned the truth? He wasn't her father. There wasn't even a possibility that he could be.

"I don't know."

He rubbed a hand over his chest, trying to heal the ache. Once McKenzie learned the truth, what would happen? Would she still continue to want to talk to him? Would she still want him in the stands are her track meets or in the audience for her piano recital? Would she start turning a cold shoulder to him? Would she pull away from him? If she did that, how would his relationship with Rachel be affected?  "I don't want to hurt her."

"I know JC." Rachel felt her heart swell at JC's words. "I don't either. But I have to tell her the truth." She swallowed roughly and pulled her knees tighter to her chest. "I have to tell you the truth."

JC straightened hearing the change in Rachel's voice. This, he knew, was going to be what had sent Rachel running and severing communication with everyone yesterday. Right now, he'd give anything to be with Rachel so they'd have more of a connection than a phone line. "I'm not going anywhere," he told her after a few moments of silence. "Take your time."

"I told my family who McKenzie's father was last night. I hadn't told anyone," Rachel began. She wiped away more tears and sniffled, wishing she would have thought to grab the box of tissues. "I thought it was one of the toughest things I have ever done. It doesn't compare to right now and having to tell you."

"Hey," JC said softly. "No. Don't do that, okay? It's me okay? You never have to be scared to tell me anything. Rachel..." he broke off before he could say what almost tumbled out of his mouth. Then figured he might as well go for broke. "I love you." He heard a broken sob in his ear and closed his eyes.

"That makes it worse..." Rachel voice broke and she buried her head in her knees. She fought the losing battle with her tears even as her heart sang at JC's words.

"Rachel," JC's voice was soft and gentle; calming. "Come on, you're killing me here. I can't do anything and all I want to do is hold you. I'm sorry if that wasn't what you wanted to hear..."

"Don't-don't take it back."

"Oh baby, I'm not going to take it back," JC promised. "Please don't be afraid to tell me anything. Nothing you can tell me is going to change the way I feel about you, okay?"

"I just don't want you to hate me."

"Not possible," JC said vehemently. He heard Rachel take a shaky breath and braced himself.

"I was raped."

JC felt the breath whoosh from his body and the blood rush from his face. He was certain if he had been standing, he was have collapsed to the floor. His mouth opened and shut multiple times but he was unable to speak a word. Rachel had rendered him speechless.

"I'm so sorry JC," Rachel sobbed. Tears streamed down her face, her shoulders shook with each gut wrenching cry that broke through. The pain was worse than the previous night. Her stomach rolled and clenched and she thought she was going to throw up.

JC shook his head at Rachel's words, trying to chase the emptiness from his head. "No. Don't apologize. Don't you ever apologize for that." He could slowly feel his brain starting to come back online. He wished his heart would sit this one out. "God Rachel, I had no idea. Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I couldn't." Rachel tried to desperately get ahold of herself so she could make it through the conversation. "He said... he said you guys would lose your contract if I told. I couldn't do that... not after... after everything you guys had just been through."

JC didn't think he could hurt more than he already did. He didn't think he could feel guilty, but he did.  "What do you mean? Who told you this? Why would we have lost our contract?"

"Matt Wilson... he said..."

"That son of a bitch," JC exploded, launching himself off his bed to pace back and forth. "That fucking bastard! Did he threatened you? Is that what he did?"

Rachel listened to JC ranting on the other end of the phone. She had never heard him like this. No matter what had been going on, he never reacted with such manner. At least never in front of her. It could have been different behind closed doors, but what she knew of his personality, she didn't think that was the case. "JC... please..." she called softly, her voice breaking.

"You didn't have to protect us." JC rubbed his face with his free hand, surprised when he felt wet cheeks. He hadn't even know that he had been crying. "You shouldn't have protected us, not after what he did to you. God Rachel... you didn't have to protect us." He listened to her crying over the phone and realized the conversation should have happened face to face so he could pull her into his arms and never let her go. He could do nothing but listen to her cries, his heart breaking more and more. There was nothing he could do, expect one thing.

"Rachel?"

"Y-yeah?"

"I love you." JC said softly, but firmly, so to leave no question in Rachel's mind. "More now than I did a few moments ago."

Rachel sniffed, lifting her head from her knees. She shouldered her phone so she could wipe at her eyes with both hands. At JC's words, a new set of tears built in her eyes. "Yeah?" She asked in awe.

"Yeah," JC smiled.

"JC?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."