"Let's sit down," JC said quietly as the cries died down. This was the last thing he had expected to walk in on. He expected to spend a couple hours getting the play by play of their Mississippi vacation from McKenzie. Then when she went to bed, spend a couple hours with Rachel. He wasn't sure what he needed, but after her phone call on Tuesday, he knew he needed her in his arms. He could figured everything else out after he had that accomplished.

He herded McKenzie and her mother into the living room after kicking the front door closed with his foot. He nearly had a heart attack when the door had been thrown open before he had been able to knock. It scared him to death to think what McKenzie had been planning when she opened that door. His being on the other side of the door thwarted whatever she wanted to do. There was only one conversation he could think of that would cause this much emotional outburst and he was surprised Rachel had decided to have it so quickly upon getting home.

"Kenzi," Rachel said softly sitting on the coffee table in front of her daughter.

"I don't want to talk about this," McKenzie sitting back, causing her mother's hands to fall away. She saw the pain flash across her mother's face and she felt bad. "Can I just go to my room now?"

"Kenz..." JC started.

"Yeah," Rachel said, speaking over JC. She watched as McKenzie shot off the couch and left the room like the hounds from Hell were nipping at her heels. With her elbows resting on her knees, she buried her face in her hands.

"Come here," JC pulled Rachel from the coffee table to the sit on the couch next to him. He drew her in his arms as the tears started again. "Shhh..." he whispered tightening her arms. His hands caressed her back, moving up and down.

"I knew this would happen..." she covered her mouth with her hand and turned her head into JC's chest as her cries worsened.

JC continued to shush her, each cry putting a chip in his heart. Tuesday he wished he had been in Mississippi. Being there, being able to hold Rachel would have made it better than listening over the phone. He would have been able to hold her and comfort her through the tears. Now, listening to her cries and holding her in his arms, he realized it wasn't true. It pained him either way. "Tell me what you need? What can I do?"

"Nothing. Nothing you can do."

JC closed his eyes at her words and held her tighter. He pressed a kiss into her hair. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you, I love you. Nothing you told me on the phone changes that. Nothing that just happened here changes that. I love you."

Rachel lifted her head to look at JC. She palmed his cheek, feeling the scratchiness of the stubble on his unshaven cheek. New tears filled her eyes when he tucked his chin, placing a kiss on her palm. "I love you."

JC ducked his head, kissing her softly. The kiss was tender and sweet. When it ended, he pulled her more snuggly into his side. She laid her head back down on his chest and he leaned his head against hers. "What happened?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"I was gonna tell her tomorrow. Had it planned. Lance was gonna come over. He didn't want me to tell her on my own... lot of good that did."

"How'd she find out?" He'd been holding his breath since Tuesday. Every time he talked to McKenzie, he thought she would bring it up. He wasn't sure how to handle it if she had mentioned him being her father.  It still twisted his insides when he thought about it. It brought back a lot of feelings and memories from back when he first found out Rachel was pregnant and when he first met the tiny infant. There had been plenty of times he had wished McKenzie had been his.

"She confronted me. I guess that's the wrong word. She knew I knew what she'd been doing. Leighton apparently told her."

"So you had to tell her."

"If you had been 10 minutes faster the whole thing might have been avoided. But she probably would have confronted us both."

"I wish I would have been here." He placed another kiss to Rachel's hair. If he had been here, he could have helped lessen the blow. If that was even possible to do.

"She got angry... more so over the fact that you weren't her father. She accused me of lying... I couldn't get through to her. She just shut me out."

"Exactly why Lance didn't want you to be alone when you told her."

"I didn't plan it that way. I told you, she caught me off guard. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to hold on until I could call Lance and he was here?"

"Whoa..." JC leaned back against the sarcasm dripping from Rachel's words.

"Sorry," she laid her head back on his chest, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry. It's just... been a really really bad week."

"I know," JC shifted in the seat to pull her more securely to his side. "I'm sorry. I know you were looking forward to this trip back home."

"There was this cloud over everything we did. It was always there."

"Maybe, but it still looked like you had a good time from the photos I saw. Though I'm not sure if I liked seeing you cuddled up next to Michael. Actually I know I didn't like it."

"Lance couldn't wait to send that to you huh?" Rachel laughed softly. "Don't worry, you're a lot comfier than Michael." She snuggled closer to him to prove her point. "A lot more."

JC tightened his arms and kissed the top of her head. When she lifted her head, he dropped a kiss to her lips. "How are you doing? Really?"

"Not gonna lie JC, I've been better. I wish this week was over, but even then... Kenzi isn't going to magically be better. I still have to tell Joey and Mel. I haven't even really talked to Kenzi about it. Once she calms down, she's gonna have questions. I just... feel like I'm reliving it every single time I have to talk about it. Like it just happened instead of fourteen years ago. I dream..." She broke off when her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears again. "It's in my dreams and I wake up thinking he's in the room with me."

"No no," JC spoke and held her tighter to him as if he could ward off the bad thoughts by holding her tighter. A fist squeezed his heart at Rachel's words. He hated the fact that she was being violated all over again. He hated the fact that there was nothing he could do. It was the worst feeling he had ever felt.

*~*~*~*

Kenzi walked quietly down the stairs. All the lights were on even in the late hour. It had been quiet for awhile. The low rumble of conversation had stopped a couple hours ago. She was certain she hadn't heard a door shut or a car start in the driveway. That meant JC was still in the house. She peeked her head into the living room. On first glance she didn't see anyone. A few steps forward allowed her to see over the couch. Her mother and JC were laying on the couch. JC on his side on the inside of the couch. Rachel faced him, her head pillowed on his arm.

The scene almost made her turn around and start turning off the lights, cover her mother and JC with the blanket that was tossed over the recliner, and head back upstairs to bed. Almost. She slowly backed out of the room, careful not to make a sound. The voices in her head were loud. They were drowning out her ability to think. The roaring hadn't stopped from the moment her mother told her she was raped. She was raped and McKenzie was the result.

McKenzie had stayed in her room and stared at the sketchbook she had taken from the box in the attic. The pages were filled with drawings of the *NSYNC members, but mostly of JC. She stared at the page where her mother had signed her name Rachel Chasez; her fingers tracing over the lines that formed the letters. She had been so sure that JC was her father. The longer she stared at what she had been sure was all the proof she needed, the louder the voices got.

Her father was a rapist. The DNA that coursed through her was evil.  She was part of a person who could hurt a woman in the worst way. She hated the feeling of knowing what was a part of her; how it made her feel. How did it make her mother feel to have the constant reminder of the worst night of her life in front of her all the time? That's what she was. A reminder of that horrible night. She wasn't made out of her love. She was made out of something vile and disgusting.

The words grew louder and louder. She had to get away. She had to escape. McKenzie reached for the door turning the knob slowly in her hand. When it was open wide enough she slipped quietly through the opening. Once she was outside, she paused and turned an ear back inside. It was silent. With the knob still turned in her hand, she slowly pulled the door shut until it rested on the jam. Then she turned the knob again, releasing the latch. With one final look toward the door, she spun on her heel and took off running down the sidewalk.

*~*~*~*

Rachel shifted in her sleep, a shiver going through her. She was cold. Reaching out, she searched for the blanket she must had pushed away in her sleep, but couldn't find it. Instead she was met with a warm body. Her mind rushed a mile a minute as she tried to figure out who and where. She froze when the body she laid with shifted and arms tightened around her.

"Relax," a voice whispered in her ear. The voice was rough with sleep. "It's me."

"JC," she breathed and let her body relax. She snuggled closer against him. "We fell asleep."

"We did," JC answered. He let his cheek rest against her head, when she shifted closer to him, tucking her face into his neck. His arm tingled from where she laid on it. He bent it and cupped the back of her head, stroking down her hair. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. Exhausted, but okay." She answered honestly. She didn't remember falling asleep; didn't know how they even ended up laying down on the couch. Opening her eyes, she saw the house still lit up. Lifting her left hand, she looked at her watch and groaned seeing the early morning hour.

"What time is it?"

"Two." She dipped her hand beneath JC's arm and wound it up his back. She yawned and snuggled back against him.

It was JC's turn to groan hearing the time. He didn't mean to fall asleep. Now he had over an hour drive back to his house in the middle of the night. "I'm gonna need a huge cup of coffee tomorrow."

"I've been living on coffee this whole week." She thought back over the previous hours. She didn't know what time she had fallen asleep. It hadn't been that late in the night. There had been no dreams. She hadn't dreamed of that night once and she wondered if it had to do with being with JC, wrapped up in his arms. "Please stay?" The words came out so softly, she wasn't sure JC even heard them.

"Stay? Are you sure?" JC questioned surprised.

"Yeah. It's late and it's a long drive back to your place. You're tired and you shouldn't be driving anyway. Plus, I'm not done snuggling with you and letting you hold me."

"You convinced me." He pressed a kiss to her head. "I wasn't done holding you or snuggling with you yet either."

Rachel pushed herself up off the couch, immediately feeling the loss. She raised her arms above her head and stretched. When hands touched her waist, she jumped. Her eyes meet JC's laughing blue ones. She placed her hands on his waist and leaned forward, kissing him softly. "I love you," she said when they parted.

JC leaned down and kissed her again. "I love you too. Why don't you go check on Kenzi and I'll shut off the lights and lock up?"

"Okay," she kissed him once more before moving away to heard toward the stairs. "I'll meet you up there." She hit the switch on the wall at the bottom of the stairs turning the light on in the upstairs hallway. As she made her way up the stairs, she heard the lock click in the door and smiled. She never had someone to help lock up before heading to bed together. She felt giddy and couldn't wait to crawl in her bed and curl up with JC.

McKenzie's door was shut and she opened it slowly, hoping the light from the hallway wouldn't disturb her daughter. When the light illuminated McKenzie's room, Rachel frowned. There was no lump in her daughter's bed. In fact it hadn't even been disturbed. Her heart started beating faster and she reached out flipping the light on. The bed was still empty. "McKenzie?" Rachel called, entering the room. She ran her hand over the bedspread for a reason she could not understand. It was obviously empty.

She quickly checked the closest, thinking her daughter may have, for some reason, curled up on the floor and had fallen asleep, but it was empty. McKenzie was not in her room. She quickly backed out of the room and walked swiftly to the bathroom. The door was open and the light was off. She turned the light on. It was empty. The shower curtain was closed and she yanked it open. The tub was empty.

"McKenzie?" Rachel called a little louder in the hallway. There was no answer. She went down the hall and checked the spare bedroom, but it was empty as well. McKenzie wasn't curled up in the closet or laying on the bed. She was beginning to freak out. When she exited the room she meet JC coming up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" JC asked quickly, seeing the growing panic on Rachel's face.

"I can't find McKenzie. She's not in her room."

"Calm down," JC said, squeezing her hands. "We'll find her. She probably hid somewhere and fell asleep. I didn't see her downstairs, but I wasn't looking, just snapped off the lights. I'll go look down there and you look up here."

Rachel quickly went down the hall to her bedroom while JC turned around and went back downstairs. "McKenzie?" She called, turning the light on in her bedroom. Her bed was undisturbed. She looked in the walk in closet, moving her clothes around, but there was nothing. It was empty. Just like her bathroom. Now she was getting scared. "McKenzie?" She said louder. "This isn't funny. Come out now!"

She searched every nook and cranny she could think of trying to find McKenzie. She looked under the beds and in linen closets. Back in McKenzie's room she saw the sketchbook and photo albums on the end of the bed that she hadn't paid attention to the first time around. She didn't need to open them to know what they were. She quickly ran from the room and to the door next to the bathroom that led up to the attic. She pulled the door open and snapped on the light, rushing up the stairs, nearly falling. "McKenzie!" She called and looked around the room. McKenzie wasn't there. "McKenzie!"

Closing the door to the attic she once again met JC in the hallway. The downstairs was illuminated behind him. Before he even opened his mouth, she knew.

McKenzie was gone.